Having breakfast cooked for me the next day by Amanda (something Suze would never have done,) I decide to broach the subject of Suze. We've skirted round her until now and I know why. We've been enjoying playing this game of happy families where she doesn't exist. Amanda and I have been taken Toyah for walks and called my sister to come and look after her for a couple of hours so we can grab a spot of dinner.
You should have seen Laura's face when Amanda opened to door to her.
"Amanda Jones!" and gives her a huge hug which is reciprocated.
"Laura! I didn't know you were the babysitter! How are you? It's great to see you."
There was a moment on the way home last night after that meal. Nothing happened, it was just the atmosphere. She was looking at me in a way I've never noticed before and I was worried I was doing the same thing, which is why I think it's wise if I bring up Suze.
"So I called Susan last night."
"Yeah?" She doesn't seem bothered and I'm irritated that it disappointed me.
"She wants me to leave her alone. Says she's tired and stressed and she doesn't need my shit on top of that."
At that, she turns round, knife in hand, snarling.
"You and Toyah are not "shit" that she can sweep under the carpet. You are her husband and Toyah is her young daughter. Toyah needs her mother at this age. If it was me I'd-" she stops.
"What?"
"What what?"
"What would you do if it was you?" I'm playing with fire here. But I can't help it.
"Don't worry, forget I said anything. I shouldn't get involved in your marriage." She turns back to her chopping.
"No come on, what? What would you do?" I say grinning.
She turns back without the knife sighing. I have walked up to her to tickle her so when she turns round our faces are very close.
"I was simply going to say, if it was me, I would treat Toyah like the princess she is and I would never ever let you go."
I can feel her breath on my chest and groan inwardly. What the hell am I doing?
"Okay." I squeak. "Okay. I'll let her know that." I turn on my heel and jump in the shower bewildered.
It does feel nice to have someone watch Toyah so I can shower.