Fran Goes on Jerry Springer
The Lisa has some very twisted ideas, and here they are! The results of the amnio are finally revealed.
Two days later…
"There could be multiple fathers." Fran remarked.
"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.
"Viera reproduce in litters. I have more than just the two sisters, but my littermates and other siblings don't care. I have a few brothers too. I have multiple babies in here."
"How many?" Vaan wondered.
"Five or six. I don't know yet. The test will tell you." Fran said, pulling broccoli out of nowhere. "Look at this! I have a mini chestnut tree!" Then she took all her clothes off. The security went nuts. Fran wasn't wearing anything underneath.
"Good lord Fran! Do not put that up your pussy! You're pregnant!" Balthier yelled.
"But my babies are hungry! They need it!" Fran argued.
"No Fran. Our babies are fed through their connection to you. You just want an excuse to put something up your vagina!"
"But Balthier, it feels really good!"
"I know, but you can't do anything that might hurt our children."
"Can we have sex later?"
"Maybe. I think so. The way you shove things up there though… I'm worried you'll hurt our babies."
"And what do you mean OUR babies? They're my babies! They're somebody else's too, but I don't know who yet!"
"No matter who the father is, I'll help you take care of them, so they might as well be mine."
"Awww! Fran's going to have babies! That is so cute! Little tiny Viera! Oh, I wonder when they'll start kicking! I hope they have bunny ears, just like their mommy!" Penelo gushed.
"Poor Fran. I mean, one is bad enough, but a litter? Wow. She's gonna be huge. I wonder how a Viera feeds more than two. I think she only has two nipples. And about the kicking… I don't know about the kits, but I wanna do some kicking. I'll kick your little rear right out of Dalmasca." Ashe muttered.
"Ashe, you have such a dirty mind!"
"Wow. Lots of babies. Are you sure you can take care of that many?" Jerry asked.
"I don't know. These vulnerable little lives in my womb need their fathers too." Fran muttered. She had put her clothes back on and was eating another carrot.
"I can't believe Fran has tiny little Vieras inside her." Vaan said happily.
"I still don't think they're your little Viera." Fran said, narrowing her eyes at Vaan threateningly.
"Sure they are! You're going to have little blond Viera!"
"Maybe, but they'll probably be Basch's in that case."
"Can you feel them?"
"Vaan, they're lumps of cells the size of thumbtacks at this point. She isn't too far along. It will be a while before they start moving." Balthier growled.
"A long time. And in the meantime, that means shoving carrots, USB sticks, miniature trees, tree roots, cigarettes, cucumbers, and any variety of pencils up my snizz won't hurt anything." Fran stated happily.
"Are we going to find out whom the fathers are or are we going to sit here staring at my cute face, kupo?" Montblanc asked.
"Okay. Fran… I don't know if this is good news or bad news, but this here says you're carrying more than five kits." Jerry said. Fran looked interested.
"How many little brats are going to be wrecking the Strahl?" Balthier asked sarcastically.
Fran looked over Jerry's shoulder and got upset "Twenty-one? Is that even possible? One Viera had about fifteen once, but she died. Oh gods! Am I gonna die?"
"That's a twelve, Frances."
"What have I said about calling me that? MY! NAME! IS! NOT! FRANCES!" Fran roared. Then she smiled. "Twelve? That's wonderful! Now I'm gonna dance the Wango!"
"Whatever that is, it had better not be sexual. At least not until later. Fran, if it is sexual, you can teach me later." Basch said.
"It's between a waltz and a tango." Fran explained, dancing. She grabbed Balthier and tried to get him dancing.
"Look Ashe! I'm dancing a wango too! Who could've thought Fran could teach ME a new dance!" Penelo yelled, dancing like an idiot.
"Penelo, do you know how to do a dance called 'getting hit 100 times with a crowbar?'" Ashe asked with something behind her back.
"How does that go?"
"SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" Ashe screeched, pulling out a crowbar from behind her back and proceeding to chase Penelo with it. Penelo raced around the room, her shirt snagged on a nail, but Penelo kept running with her shirt off, knocking everything over.
"Feeeeeel the wiiiiind!" Penelo cried happily, running outside in nothing but a bra.
"Okay Fran. In the case of the first child… Balthier, you ARE the father." Jerry announced.
"Well, that's good. At least one of her kids is going to have reason to be on the Strahl." Balthier said.
"Number two… Basch is the father."
"I knew at least one of them would be." Basch said.
"Number three and four: Vaan."
"Whoa, wait just a sec. I have TWO from Vaan?" Fran asked.
"Yay! DNA doesn't lie Fran! Now we can get married, and when you have another litter, they can all be mine!" Vaan cried happily.
"Number five: Balthier."
"Two for Balthier. I'm gonna marry him. In your stupid face, Vaan! FIRAGA!" Fran yelled. The spell missed Vaan and hit Jerry. He wasn't hurt too bad, but the test results were burnt to a crisp.
"I guess that means we'll have to test them all once those brats crawl their way out of our favourite bunny, kupo. Shame too. I wanted to know now if Fran was carrying the heir to Clan Centurio. Now look at me because I'm SO DAMN CUTE! Kupopo!" Monty called out.
"If you want babies that badly I can have your litter, Monty. And we won't have to get a test done, because you'll know they're yours." Krjn the Viera said.
"My magic still works! Yay!" Fran exclaimed happily.