Christmas is just around the corner and I could sense the atmosphere of festive season wherever I go. The Christmas trees, the lighting, the cakes and pies, the tinsel, the Santa Clause etc. are just everywhere. It is a bright and joyous day that children will play and grownups will celebrate.

This is the first time that I will be alone this Christmas in a land far from home. The very thought brings tears to my eyes. But it will be alright as this life is my choice. I have chosen to accept the job offer away from home and I'm going to live with my decision. It is part of life anyway.

I'm browsing through the comments that my readers have given to me. The a're all very supportive and encouraging. I wish I could find the strength and courage to be strong and happy again. I know it is not difficult. Everything just lies in my hand.

Sometimes I wonder whether everything is fated to be like this? What if I had never met Damon? Would I be better off this way? Then I realize my life would be less colourful and exciting without him. He is part of the journey of my life. Someone who is destined to be there to teach me lessons of life and love.

Then I ask myself should I leave everything in the hands of faith? But the waiting and wondering are just tormenting and heartbreaking. How I wish I know the answer for my doubts! Should I have the faith and be proactive in my life? I have picked up the courage once to ask him the questions on soulmate so I should be able to find the courage again to search for the answers.

Fate or faith? A decision that I need to make seriously before the year comes to an end. A decision that will affect the rest of my life.

x x x

The time had arrived. I had decided to push Damon further for answers. Answers for my doubts. I hated the waiting time and I had realized that it would do me no more good than harm to be kept in the dark. So I sent him another email.

Hi Damon

Just a reminder that you've promised to answer the questionnaire for my assignment. Please reply ASAP as the due date for my assignment is just around the corner. Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

Elena

It was 2 days later before I received a reply. So this was the moment, I thought. My hands were shaking badly and my heart was racing when I saw his email in the inbox. When I opened the email it was the most dreadful and miserable email that I had ever dreamt of reading.

Dear Elena,

Sorry for the late reply as I was out of town last weekend. Answers to your questions:-

I think marriage is a sacred vow - a vow between two persons who are willing to spend their lives together, through good times and bad times. It is a vow of love, of trust, of respect, of understanding, of care and of patience. A vow that should never be broken, not even by death.

A soulmate is somebody who is destined for you in this world. A special person whom you will know when you meet him/her. Nobody can give a perfect definition for soulmate but you will know within your heart when you have met the right person.

I don't think education plays an important role in deciding one's fate. Everyone wishes his/her future partner to be their soulmates. Agree?

As for your last question, it's tricky! There is this terrific woman...I think she might be the one whom I have been looking for all these years.

What about you? Is there somebody in your life?

Hope my answers are helpful to you. Take care ok?

Damon

I sat there staring at the computer screen. The world seemed to have stopped. My mind went blank. Slowly I got up from the chair and dragged myself to the bedroom. I threw myself onto the queen-sized bed and curled into a ball. Then the dam finally burst.

The pain was excruciating and I could hardly breathe. It was like a long, sharp-edged knife piercing through my heart. I knew the truth would hurt but never would I have guessed that it hurt so much.

God knew how long I had been crying for. It felt like the end of the world. I was being silly and stupid all these years, wasn't I? I should have known it all along that this would be happening soon but I had never had the courage to face the truth.

Because I was Runaway soul!

A soul that runs away from love and would never get any in return!

Finally I was quieting down, my sobs began to subside and I blinked back my tears. Somewhere a voice in my head cried out - Enough!

The moment had finally arrived and it was time to stop hoping and waiting for some miracle to happen. After all these years I finally got the message. He was not my Prince Charming and in the real world there were no fairy tale endings. There was no guarantee of "happily ever after".

I went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy from the aftermath. I looked terrible.

Maybe it was time to get on with life. Why wasting my time and effort on a man who would never cherish me? I didn't need anybody in my life. "Alone" did not necessarily mean lonely. I could still stand on my own and take care of myself.

Elena Gilbert, get a grip. Life is not always fair. You don't always get what you think you deserve but it is alright. This is life.

I took a deep breath...