Fran Goes on Jerry Springer

Vaan didn't care how Mjrn was acting or anything. He still was in love with her. And she seemed interested in him too. Fran was not amused.

Mjrn had found herself some corn and was happily eating it.

"Mjrn, aren't you allergic to corn?" Fran asked, just as the younger Viera sneezed and corn went everywhere.

"So Mjrn…" Vaan began.

"Yes. I already told you I want to!" Mjrn growled.

"It's not that. Where are you gonna go? Who are you gonna stay with?"

"I've been hoping my sister would let me and my kits stay with her and Balthier!"

"Maybe if Fran wasn't having so many kits. You're having eight, and she's having twelve. That's twenty. Fran's kits will be enough of a problem without their eight cousins joining us." Balthier explained.

"MY KITS ARE PURE VIERA! THEY'RE WORTH MORE THAN FRAN'S KITS! SHE'S NEVER EVEN SLEPT WITH A MALE VIERA!"

"Don't start the yelling again." Fran warned.

"Give me a hug!" Mjrn cried happily for no reason.

"Okay!" Vaan, of course. Fran grabbed him by the hair and made him sit down again.

"Do not encourage her!" The elder Viera yelled. Then she grinned. "Mjrn, give me that corn cob."

"Mjrn, don't give it to her! She's gonna put it up her snizz!"

"Sounds good. Go ahead sis." Mjrn said, giving Fran the corn cob.

"Do you think you could put that up your vagina?" Vaan asked Mjrn.

"Probably. I've slept with about ten male Viera and a few other guys. I probably physically could, but I'm allergic to corn. Plus I'm not like Fran. I'm just angry all the time. Hey Fran?"

"Yes?"

"Jote had kits recently too. Only three, but they're cute. And they're full Viera, of course. I don't know why she didn't tell you when you hunted my malboro. Two girls and a boy. And I imagine her daughters are going to be wild brats like her."

"Can we get lunch? I'm starving." Vaan asked.

"One of these days Vaanie, I'm gonna have to cook for you. I'll make my special coeurl stew!"
"Coeurl stew?"

"Oh yeah. My mother used to make it all the time. Jote and I knew how to too. Special recipe." Fran replied.

"Jote never got it right. She doesn't understand how I possibly could. Maybe if her senses of smell and taste were as well developed as mine are she'd understand. Last time she tried to cook something, it ended up being mouse soup. I don't know how a mouse got in it, but she didn't notice until it was too late. I need to eat things that are good for me and won't hurt my kits. It's crucial, especially at this point. You too, Fran. You need to watch what you eat."

"Don't get any ideas. Mouse soup is good for cats and maybe Viera, but not for us." Ashe told Penelo.

"It would be a good way to get rid of the mice here, but I don't know if they'd taste any good. I don't know what mice taste like, despite living in a house full of the things for years."

"That sounds really gross. Mice, little furry rodents that swim with disease, all over the place?"

"Mjrn, you would really enjoy the sexateria. Maybe you and Vaan can come with me and Balthier when we go there." Fran said.

"You don't mind that your sister and I…?" Vaan began. Fran shook her head.

"She seems to like you. I do want her to be happy. Maybe the two of you can take care of her kits."