Chapter 2

The morning Shizuo wakes up is the morning when he finds a cold hand in his. The sun shines brightly as if to mock the coldness Shizuo feels. There are thousands black roses around him. They look so beautiful; but, everything smells like blood. He looks at the body connected to him by his hand. It looks so thin, so broken and so unmoving. He recognizes it instantly and he tries to call its owner. When he calls Izaya's name there is no answer. So, he tries again, dread soaking thru his every bone.

It hurts to keep his eyes open. They are blurry and watering. He feels as if he is underwater and like everything around him is not real. The moment he realizes the fact that Izaya won't answer him and he will not ever again hear the other's voice; he rages and he breaks things until he is put down like an animal. When he wakes up, and when sedatives start to leave his body, they try to tell him that Izaya is dead.

He realized that himself, but he isn't sure how they expect him to breath in the world where Izaya doesn't exist. Until the end of the day he is catatonic and he simply looks into one spot on the wall that is almost the same color as Izaya's eyes.

Shinra comes to visit. The only thing Shizuo remembers is that he said something about the funeral. The finality of that is what brings him back. He owns Izaya at least that much. He looks collected; and, it is almost as if something inside him finally gave up. That was the moment he decided that he will do everything, even for a tiny bit of chance to see Izaya's smile again; to see Izaya running, even if it from him; and, that was the moment Shizuo decided that he will kill himself.

It shouldn't be odd to think that way, and for him it isn't. After all, he had always followed Izaya everywhere; walked on the same spots Izaya has taken his steps to. The world wouldn't be right if Izaya wouldn't run and Shizuo wouldn't chase.

So, even if everything hurts and even if Shizuo feels so broken inside, he takes one black rose stained with the last part of Izaya he can still touch, and he goes into his empty apartment. He showers, he shaves, and he puts on his best clothes. He wants to see Izaya at least one more time in his life, even if the other's eyes are closed forever.

So, he goes to Izaya's funeral just to witness him lying upon a thousand white roses in a coffin. He thinks it is Shinra's idea and it hurts so much. He feels like he betrayed Izaya because he didn't say the words to him. It doesn't matter one bit that he was in a comma and that he wasn't able to speak at all.

So, Shizuo simply looks at Izaya; and, Izaya looks so beautiful, like he is an angel. There isn't a person in the world who could stop Shizuo when he comes closer to the unmoving body that has always been his life. He whispers "wait for me" to his dead enemy, to the only person he has ever loved.

Shizuo's eyes are blurry, but he doesn't cry. He closes those few last inches and kisses Izaya for the first time. The lips are cold, unmoving and dead and he just repeats once again those words that are the only reason why he still breaths.

"Wait for me."

He takes Izaya's knife; the first one that spilled his blood. He leaves a note on the table in his kitchen and walks to the bathroom. On the night of Izaya's funeral, he slits his wrists with Izaya's own knife.

As he lies in the bathtub he somehow he feels content. After all, there is nothing left for him in this world. In the last moments of his consciousness, he smells the only black rose that he has and it smells like Izaya. Perhaps, it is the smell of his own blood, or Izaya's that is still painted on almost dead rose; but it makes him swear that he can see red eyes somewhere. He smiles and now he can almost see Izaya as if he is just beyond the bathroom door, waiting for him.

Shizuo's last words echo in the empty apartment. There is no one alive to hear them, but he says them anyway.

"I am coming, Izaya."

Ten years have past since his brother died. He still takes the note everywhere where he goes even if he can repeat its contents in his sleep. It's short and it makes him break apart.

There are two young boys running in the park. From the bench he sits in he can see them perfectly. They look nine, ten maybe. One has a blond hair, and the other hair is black. They smile as they chase each other. They laugh and the Sun suddenly feels warmer. The brown eyes of the blond boy are so familiar. The red one's also. He once knew two boys with the same eyes who chased each other.

The blond boy stops and byes a single white rose from a gypsy woman that sells them. He turns around and gives it away. The smile he receives shines stronger than a thousand suns.

So, Kasuka smiles as well. His brother's last words echo in his head.

I would give everything that I ever had to see his smile just one more time. I would give every second that I have in this world just to see him run even if it is from me. I would gladly give my life just for a chance to be with him.

I am not asking for forgiveness, there is nothing that you can forgive me for. I am just chasing after him. That is what I have always done.

He is my Sun, my water and my air. He is the light that makes me alive. Without him the world is just black and white. Without him the only thing I can do is to die.