"This is the story of a man named Stanley," A mysterious voice spoke when they came to their next mission. "Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427. Employee #427's job was simple. He sat at his desk in room 427, and he pushed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk, telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them, and in what order. This is what Employee #427 did-Wait, hold on a minute, cut the music!"
Suddenly the lights came on and Cherry, Billy, and Jack seemed to be in an office cubicle.
"You're not Stanley! Who the hell are you?" The narrator demanded. "Why are there three of you? When did I ever indicate that this was a multi-player game?! No... No, not here... Not there... I specific-... Oh, dammit. Fine, very well, who the hell are you?"
"Well, this is Billy, and this is Jack, and of course I'm Cherry Butler!" Cherry replied in a cliché Pooh's Adventures greeting where her own adventures series seemed to be based on contrary to popular belief. "Luckily there's just three of us and not other characters from other stuff who don't contribute to the plot and just make the original story drag on forever."
"What? No, no, I can't call you those names!" The narrator argued. "Those are all rubbish names! Those aren't hero names!"
Jack took great offense to that, looking rather irked.
"Jack is the name of a man who slaughters streetwalkers in 19th century London, and Cherry? Why, Cherry isn't even a name for a girl, it's a fruit!" The narrator continued. "Jack is the name of a financially challenged boy who disobeys his mother, climbs a beanstalk, and steals from a giant! Cherry's also the name from a Charles Dickens novel called Martin Chuzzlewit! Cherry and Jack are not heroes!"
"Notice how he said nothing about my name." Billy smirked.
"Shut up before I make you shut up." Cherry warned.
"I mean, sometimes, I go by Sean..." Jack offered to the narrator.
"Sean? Sean... Sean... I could live with a name like Sean, but Jack?" The narrator replied. "I will find a more suitable name for the protagonist of this adventure. You are... (Not-Stanley)."
"Clever..." Cherry commented.
"Thank you," The narrator replied, not detecting her sarcasm. "And I'm not saying you're not Stanley, I'm saying you are (Not-Stanley), in parentheses with a hyphen between it. It's very fancy, it'll look great on your business cards."
"Ugh, forget this," Billy groaned. "Let's just go through this stupid door."
They soon came outside and the narrator spoke again, much to Jack's irritation.
"I was going to refer to you as (Not-Stanley) and the Three Bears to avoid confusion, I think we shall re-name you all," The narrator then said. "We have (Not-Stanley), Stanley Jr, and Mariella."
"Anything but Perky," Cherry replied. "A bunch of n00bs on my DeviantART page call me 'Perky'."
"Stanley Jr?" Jack repeated before laughing with a snort to Billy.
"NOT A WORD!" Billy groaned.
They soon walked off together before passing Room #429.
"Do you smell anything coming out of this room or is it just me?" Jack wondered.
"It smells like Chinese food." Billy commented.
The door soon opened and out came Katie, dressed like a secretary with curled up dark hair and her usual glasses as she carried a baby in a cute pink dress and the baby seemed to have dark purple hair.
"Katie?" Cherry asked.
"Hi, Nee-Bear~..." Katie smiled. "I'm the secretary of this level."
"Cool... Um... You got Chinese food in there?" Cherry asked.
"Yes, actually..." Katie giggled. "Also a cute little dumpling right here."
The baby seemed to coo and reach out to Cherry.
"You have a new baby?" Cherry asked. "Who's the father in this timeline?"
"Ooh, I can't tell you... Spoilers..." Katie said before suddenly leaving.
"Wait, Katie, don't leave me again, I can't do this without you!" Cherry cried out only for Katie to go back inside and the door closed. "KATIE!"
"It'll be okay, Cherry, you've been doing pretty good without the Katie you know and love..." Jack comforted.
"I just feel so lost without her." Cherry frowned.
"I'm sure you do, but you're very smart and remarkable... I'm very proud of what you've done on this adventure on your own..." Jack soothed.
"Yeah, you've actually been pretty helpful." Billy had to admit.
"See? Even Billy admits it!" Jack grinned.
"Hey!" Billy glared slightly.
"I guess you're right..." Cherry giggled softly.
"Aw, there's a smile," Jack smiled to that. "Now come on, let's go."
They kept walking along before coming to a locked door.
"It's locked... I wonder why?" Cherry pouted.
"I dunno, Cherry, maybe it's because they don't want three total strangers walking in on them." Billy nearly deadpanned.
"Well, fine, that's quite a motive." Cherry glanced.
"Jack, why?" Billy groaned. "Just... Just why?"
"Because cookies are delicious!" Jack smiled.
"That about sums it up." Cherry smirked.
"You're weird." Billy rolled his eyes at her.
"I was born that way." Cherry kept her smirk.
They soon came to another door.
"There's a little sign on the door." Billy noticed.
"Looks like a legally binding contract," Jack commented. "Weird."
"'By entering this room, you agree to'-Blah, blah, blah... Wait, what?" Billy tried to read out the note.
"'Waive all rights to photographs taken of you in this room with or without your knowledge or permission'." Cherry continued to read.
"Oh, so basically it's like going to a convention." Jack put together.
"Even the hippopotamus clause?" Billy wondered.
"What happens at PAX stays at PAX." Jack replied.
"I really need to go to a Con sometime, I'd love to go to Rocky Con in New York City." Cherry commented.
They soon continued to walk by and passed a whiteboard which read 'THE BOSS IS NOTHING'.
"Hmm... Is this referring to the hacker on our computers or the boss of this company?" Jack wondered.
"Pretty sure it's someone crooked from Wireland." Cherry commented.
"I hope not, they got banished to another computer." Billy informed.
They soon continued to walk along and saw an old laptop.
"Wow, this model is ancient!" Billy gushed. "It doesn't even have text-to-speech!"
"Way to make us feel old, Billy..." Cherry muttered.
They then continued before passing by a random door.
"A door!" Jack proclaimed.
"As far as doors go, this one's 'adoorable'..." Cherry smirked.
"Why do you enjoy tormenting me so?" Billy groaned.
"Don't be so selfish, Billy," Jack advised. "Anyone who's played Happy Wheels enjoys tormenting you!"
"That, and it makes me feel better about myself." Cherry added.
They then passed by again to see more doors.
"This door is made out of balsa wood," Jack said to the others. "I could probably punch right through it!"
"Why not now?" Cherry asked.
"Well... It's locked for a reason, so I won't." Jack said.
"What's your deal with locked doors?" Billy pouted.
"Is it because of horror games?" Cherry wondered.
"Oh, yeah," Billy scoffed. "The Stanley Parable is one of the greatest horror games of our generation."
"Hm." Cherry glared.
They then came to the next door.
"Ooh, it's quiet... I don't like too much quiet, especially people who don't say anything..." Cherry shuddered. "Silent magicians creep me out, they always look like they're gonna say something, but they never do."
"I guess whatever's in there is... 'Doormant'!" Jack replied.
"WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY?!" Billy complained.
"Because hurting you in other ways would cause your game to become unplayably corrupted," Jack replied. "Come on, Billy, that's common knowledge. Read the Laws of Death Permanence sometime."
"I TOLD YOU BOTH THAT!" Billy snapped.
"Jack, I think you're raising his blood pressure faster than Colin Mochrie's blood pressure on Whose Line is it Anyway? when they play that two sentence game." Cherry commented slyly.
"Good, his blood will splatter further." Jack replied.
"Hey, Jack, it's you!" Billy pointed to the next door.
"Why is it me?" Jack replied.
"Because you're a 'doork'!" Billy smirked.
Cherry and Jack just glanced at him in dead silence.
"Okay, well, I'm not good at coming up with stuff on the fly!" Billy defended.
"It's okay, Billy, just remember that in times such as this, patience is key." Cherry smirked.
"URRRRGGGH!" Billy groaned in frustration.
They soon kept walking before coming to two doorways: one was red and the other was blue.
"When faced with the impossibly grandiose decision of which way to go, (Not-Stanley) chose the door on the left." The narrator told them.
"So, which way should we go?" Jack asked. "Red or Blue?"
"Hmm... The narrator said to go to blue, so I feel torn on going that way, but it might also be a trap..." Cherry pondered to herself.
"You know, you do make a good point." Jack had to admit.
"Wouldn't it be more of a challenge not to go through the red door?" Billy suggested. "Maybe he should have told us to go through the blue."
"Let's just try blue and get this over with." Cherry suggested.
They soon went through the blue door and continued to walk together. They went through another hallway with inaccessible doors and went through another door and came into an all blue room. The narrator then welcomed them to the 'not-meeting' room with an ugly blue carpet and broken soda machine.
"Sharon, how did you get a Coke?!" The narrator cried out. "The machine was broken!"
"Who's Sharon?" Cherry wondered which just made Jack and Billy shrug.
"You can use a credit card?!" The narrator cried out. "I'm in this country, Sharon!"
"It's official, he's cracked." Billy commented.
"Alright, what's going on in Room number Blue?" Jack pondered as they explored before leaving. "A whole lotta nuthin'!"
They soon left the room and looked confused as they ended up in Jack's room.
"(Not-Stanley) triumphantly blundered into his boss's office to find that no one was there!" The narrator informed. "Now he could play with his boss's secret keypad, but he'd never know that the combination was 7-3-2-6. Oh, (Not-Stanley)..."
"I bet the boss's office is nothing like this in the original game." Cherry said.
"I guess whoever was in here last did some interior decorating?" Jack guessed.
"Yeah, it looks different than the last time I was here too," Billy replied. "I wonder if it merged with something."
"Like what?" Jack asked.
"Well, you for instance..." Cherry said. "It's like your recording room based on what I've seen."
"Yeah, it does," Jack nodded. "Ah, well! Maybe it happened when the apartment came here."
"Maybe it did," Billy shrugged. "Weird..."
Cherry, Jack, and Billy explored the room a little.
"More septic eyes... I think..." Cherry commented about a symbol.
"Yeah... Not quite... Weird..." Jack said as he felt disturbed by this. "I wonder if this BOSS guy has been leaving them, or if we just have some graffiti artists with interesting tastes."
"This is not a code, (Not-Stanley)," The narrator soon interrupted them. "This is plain English. ABCs, 123s, 7-3-2-6..."
"Okay, okay, I get it already..." Jack rolled his eyes and went to the keypad with his friends and put in the code.
The door soon opened and they were inside of an elevator.
"Is anyone wondering if there's something kinda weird going on?" Jack asked the others.
"Nah, of course not," Billy deadpanned. "Everyone gets sucked into their computer at least once. It's practically mundane."
"I meant with the Narrator." Jack clarified.
"Well, I haven't seen the video based off of the game we were in, so I can't really say anything." Cherry replied.
"Well, he is acting kinda weird..." Billy had to admit.
"I'm mostly concerned about why the boss's office looks like your recording room, Jack." Cherry said.
"Yeah... That is weird," Jack admitted. "I wonder if it has something to do with this... BOSS guy who is preventing me from getting us all back."
"Maybe the big plot twist at the end is that it was you all along." Cherry said.
"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember sabotaging myself." Jack replied.
"Welp, I tried..." Cherry shrugged.
They soon left the elevator and came down a strange path.
"And finally, (Not-Stanley) found himself in a truly terrifying and chilling place." The narrator said.
"Donald Trump's house?" Cherry asked.
"Oh, no, Cherry, it's Texas!" Jack shuddered. "Even saying the name out loud gives me chills!"
"A cavernous chamber filled to the brim with television monitors, upon which bearing the numbers of all of the employees, and (Not-Stanley), being one of them!" The Narrator informed. "He was shocked, not slightly embarrassed, but altogether, the mysteries were beginning to build and compound into one satisfying and grandiose conclusion."
"Why'd we stop here?" Billy asked.
"I don't know," Jack grinned. "Maybe to press buttons!"
"Do you do everything without thinking it through first?" Billy scoffed.
"No, I do think a lot of things through," Jack smiled. "Very seriously! Like... Naming you Billy."
"You did that off the cuff." Billy muttered.
"Hmm... What could we do in this room?" Cherry pondered. "I guess we could press some buttons and see what happens."
They soon followed Jack around and pushed buttons, but nothing seemed to happen from their activity.
"Where to next?" Billy asked as that felt kind of pointless.
"I guess we just go back to the elevator." Cherry shrugged.
They soon went back in the elevator and waited for their next task which, knowing this adventure, would come up again real soon. The elevator then let them out and they continued to wander.
"I wonder what's over that way?" Jack wondered as they looked to see a blocked path.
"Well, whatever it is, we can't go that way, so forget it." Cherry said.
"Well, that just gives us more incentive to find out what's out there." Billy smirked.
"I still think we should back away and maybe come back later if it'll open." Cherry suggested.
"Why is Cherry the smartest one here?" Billy muttered.
"Ah, come on now, I'm not that smart." Cherry replied.
"Don't put yourself down, Cherry," Jack soothed. "I'm glad you're apart of Posséspticeye."
"Aw, thanks, Jack." Cherry said bashfully.
"So, if we're done with being all sweet and friendly, can we get back to the story?" Billy asked them.
They then went to continue down the path until they finally ran into a door which read 'Mind Control Facility'.
They came inside a different room with many different colored buttons.
"The Mind-Control Facility was too horrible for (Not-Stanley), to his friends, had he really been controlled this entire time?" The narrator spoke yet again. "All his thoughts? His actions?"
"Okay, what're we doing?" Jack wondered as they explored. "I'm seeing a lot of buttons and a lot of switches..."
"I feel like maybe these go in a certain order..." Cherry said, running into a green lever, but it startled her as it made a haunting sound.
"Strange..." Jack commented.
They soon came to the far back and found a screen that said 'MIND CONTROLS IDLE: AWAITING INPUT...'
"(Not-Stanley) didn't have to worry about the on button, because it was already broken." The narrator said.
Jack then came to the off button and poked it.
"And he did it!" The narrator cheered and praised. "Somehow, against all possible odds, and expectations, (Not-Stanley) had freed everyone! It was a joyous, exuberant... Classical example of a hero done well! Everyone would be free! No one would be told what to do, or what to think, or where to go! No one would have to pretend to be a narrator after being fired unfairly for something they didn't even do! And our hero, (Not-Stanley), bravely and proudly basking in the glow of... Whatever he did, that freed everyone! Well... He knew where he was going. He was off, on another bright adventure. What new mysteries of joy and wonder would await him, beyond that glowing door?"
There was then a very bright light that seemed to engulf them and they were back at where they started in this adventure. Well, mostly, from the Stanley Parable adventure, not this whole adventure that started with Cherry in Jack's recording room for some reason.
"No... No... Come on!" The narrator complained. "That was a beautiful story; I don't want to have to do it again for (Not-Stanley), who won't appreciate it! Why can't I get someone who appreciates my stories? Now we have to do it all over again! And it won't even be the same story because you're just going to pick something else! Oh, what will the narrator say? He'll be so angry now! Let's go in the other door, let's push something else! Let's lock ourselves in the closet! What will the others say? What will he do?" He then let out a very frustrated grunt. "...Curious as to what happened, (Not-Stanley) left his office..."
"Oh, no, do try to contain all of that excitement." Billy deadpanned.
They soon left the room to start all over again.
"Do you smell anything coming out of this room, or is it just me?" Jack asked as they came to one door.
"It smells like Chinese food." Billy said.
"I guess we really are starting over..." Cherry said, ruining the cycle.
However, instead of Katie, a certain magician came out, carrying a baby. Cherry gasped while blushing slightly while Jack and Billy looked curious. The song known as Sugar by Maroon 5 seemed to be playing in the background.
"Cherry... Amare~..." The man greeted in the dead language known as Latin.
Jack and Billy looked over at the perky goth.
"You know this guy?" Jack asked.
"Erm... Uh... Well... Y-Yes..." Cherry replied. "T-Teller, what're you doing here?"
"I came from your computer," Teller mused with a small smile which nearly looked like the famous Mona Lisa painting. "I thought maybe you could use a little help with numerous Katies wandering around."
"Is this your boyfriend or something?" Billy asked. "He looks like a fossil."
"Hey, don't disrespect him!" Cherry defended.
"I'm from a special app of Cherry's phone and computer known as Pinterest," Teller smiled. "She often searches images of me she hasn't seen before."
"Why would she do that?" Jack asked.
A few moments later, Jack and Billy soon put it together and 'oohed' with smirks which made Cherry turn bright pink as that was her way of blushing instead of turning red in the face.
"It's not like that!" Cherry complained. "I have a deep respect for him!"
"So, then, uh, what's with the baby?" Jack asked.
"This is Mei Qiu," Teller replied. "Cherry and I adopted her in one timeline because we live together and want to start a family."
"Oh, gosh, just like in reality, please stop talking!" Cherry begged while Billy snickered.
"Suddenly my crush on Fran Bow doesn't seem so bad." Billy smirked.
"Screw you!" Cherry snapped.
"Oh, Cherry, that's not very nice..." Teller shook his head before going in the room to put the baby away and came back out. "Come on, let me help you out. Mei Qiu can bond with her Aunt Katie for a while, this place has a Day Care center."
"Well, at least it's not the same mission again..." Cherry just sighed out of defeat.
They soon walked off with Teller this time and came up to the doors.
"(Not-Stanley) and his co-workers..." The narrator began, but he seemed to change somehow. "Wait a minute. No, this really can't be right. I mean, I know we're going off-the-cuff as it is, what with the renewed stage after The Freedom ending, but... We really can't go anywhere if those doors aren't open. I'm going to have to look into this... Hold on."
"Oh, good, more test subjects." A voice replied.
"I feel like I should know that voice, but I'm not sure." Cherry said.
"What's that?" The narrator asked. "Who are you?"
"No need to play dumb, Employee 207," The voice replied. "They ought to know what you've been up to this entire time."
"But I'm the narrator!" The narrator argued.
"That wasn't even a 'nice try'," The voice said. "You don't sound anything like the narrator. More like a sound-alike who's auditioning for Saturday Night Live."
"Come on now, that was uncalled for." The narrator pouted.
"But I really must thank you; you've brought me more test subjects like I've asked for," The voice said. "So I suppose you're actually good at something. You might want to introduce yourself though; seeing as you're going to be working with them more, it's best for them to get to know the real you."
"I-..." The narrator hesitated, but then gave in. "Yeah, you know what? She's right. I'm not actually the narrator. Surprise!"
"Are you Steven Wright then?" Cherry asked since the voice sounded sarcastic and disinterested.
"Shocking, I know." The robotic voice said.
"And you're not actually getting out of here!" The male voice replied as the doors changed into portals. "GLaDOS and I have teamed up to find more test subjects for the future of Aperture Science."
"Or the present," The other voice added. "Seeing as we currently have no one to run through these tests, we're not too picky. Despite your obvious lack of intelligence, we are required to use what we have. So congratulations; you're all top of the group. By default."
"She really needs to work on her motivational speeches." Billy pouted.
"Anyway, I don't think we should spend too long out here," GLaDOS replied. "While there is no discernible passage of time here in the digital world, we do need to get a move on. The average human lifespan is a pathetically short 70 years or so... Even shorter in Billy's case."
"Technically Billy can respawn, so that would actually make his lifespan longer..." Teller replied, logically.
"Oh, I like him..." GLaDOS replied. "He shows potential. Actual potential. Not the kind that leaves you high and try, having been overrun by a wave of disappointment. That being the case, I have exactly the teams that we need. We only have two functional tests at the moment, but I see now how to divide you up perfectly."
"Wait a minute," Jack glared. "Hold on-!"
Suddenly there was a loading screen and we are now shown what looks like a cell in a futuristic or space prison and Jack and Cherry were together.
"You... Did you separate us by using a loading screen?!" Jack complained.
"That's not cool!" Cherry pouted.
"I suppose we could record how long it takes you to go insane listening to this song, but that would be needlessly cruel," GLaDOS replied. "It would be more humane to throw you in the incinerator just outside the door."
"I've never tested anyone before; this should be fun!" The not-narrator replied.
"Okay, who even are you?" Jack asked. "I've never seen an Employee 207 in any of my games as far as I can remember!"
"You have seen me, but I guess you don't remember," The not-narrator informed. "You've killed me though."
"Wait a minute, I've killed you?" Jack blinked. "Then what game are you from?"
"I guess it's kind of hard to remember someone who's just one in a crowd," The not-narrator stated. "Party Hard. All I was doing was partying innocently, and then you murdered me. Or, at least, you did when you finally noticed me."
"Okay, I'm sorry about that, but I mean, that is kind of the point of the game?" Jack replied.
"Yeah, yeah, it is, and yes, I know I'm supposed to die, it's a small role, but it's something," The not-narrator said. "And all I wanted was for my role to go off without a hitch, but you almost didn't notice me in the tutorial level! It's a small role that I wanted to do right, and you almost messed it up!"
"So, you're taking all this out on me because I almost didn't kill you?" Jack asked, unimpressed.
"Well, not fulfilling your game role, or at least, having a near-useless experience, was kind of a blow to me, you know?" The not-narrator defended. "I ended up leaving my game to find one where I'd be more appreciated."
"Are you going Turbo?" Cherry asked as this sounded like Wreck-It Ralph to her.
"Who...?" The not-narrator replied. "Never mind, I guess it doesn't matter. The point is, I went to work for Aperture Science, met a man named Stanley, boring guy, to make a long story short-"
"Too late!" Cherry replied.
"Hmph... I got fired for something I didn't even do," The not-narrator then said. "But I managed to lure the narrator away with a cookie and took over his recording booth, so there's that at least."
"Wait, you lured the narrator with a cookie?" Jack asked.
"Never underestimate the power of baked goods around video game characters, Jack." The not-narrator replied.
"Yes, well, as exciting as all this exposition and reveal is, I'm sure you're going to want to get to that test," GLaDOS interrupted. "This room wasn't designed to last, you know."
"The heck does that mean?" Cherry asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry," GLaDOS replied. "I suppose where you come from, most rooms are permanent. This particular room was designed to be disposable, left standing only for about 30 minutes after its creation. We at Aperture figured that with the amount of test subjects we were going through, sanitation was an issue. It was... More cost effective to create and destroy holding chambers when necessary instead of sanitizing the old ones."
"Did I ever push buttons for that?" The not-narrator asked.
"Perhaps." GLaDOS replied.
"So, Stanley worked for Aperture?" Jack asked.
"Anyway, seeing as this room was created about 29 minutes ago, you should probably head through the portal." GLaDOS suggested.
"Alright... Come on, Cherry... I hope your magician friend will be okay." Jack said.
"He escapes from straitjackets all the time to avoid being crushed by a spiked floor, I'm sure he can figure out a way out of this." Cherry replied.
They soon took deep breaths together and went out the portal together to begin yet another misadventure.