Fran Goes on Jerry Springer
Mjrn had managed to get the carrot out. And she was very angry at her sister. That wasn't a very nice thing for Fran to do!
"There is something seriously wrong with these Easter Bunnies." Mario said. Fran began pulsing with energy and Mjrn looked ready to claw the Italian Plumber's eyes out.
"WHO THE FUCK IS YOU CALLING EASTER BUNNIES?!" Mjrn roared.
"Mjrn, seriously, enough with the swear words." Balthier said. Mjrn glared at him.
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not listening to a Hume?"
"I told you to quit it too." Fran said.
"Yeah, well, I don't want to. Everyone makes me really mad. I think Venat possesses me sometimes again. I don't know why. And Undying means undying, so you don't go saying you killed him/her/it. They can't be killed."
"Don't go blaming your ridiculous behaviour on Venat, Mjrn!"
"Can I blame Ammy?"
"I think your wolf went back to wherever you summoned her from."
Fran began playing with a zipper. "This is like magick. It goes up and closes and then it goes down and opens. Maybe if I put it up my pussy it will work there!"
"Let's hope it does." Mjrn growled.
Penelo was racing around her home, squirting Cheez Whiz everywhere. And throwing more cupcakes. And just plain making Ashe want to kill her. And then she tried cramming lemons up her vagina, but she couldn't because she was still a virgin. Unlike Fran. Ashe was covered in cheese and that didn't make her happy.
Fran had pulled a DVD out of her shirt and wanted everyone to see it.
"Fran, that isn't THE TAPE, is it?" Balthier asked.
"Yes it is! Now it's THE DVD!" Fran replied happily. Vaan and Mjrn were confused.
"What exactly is THE TAPE?" Vaan asked.
"Fran's sex tape: 'Vieras, Vieras, And More Vieras'. I already burned every copy of it I found on the Strahl, but who knows where else she's hidden copies of it." Balthier explained.
"I want to use it as the pilot episode for Vieras Humping! And then I'm gonna make a new DVD, 'The Very Bad Viera Shoves Everything up Her Vagina'!"
"I'm not letting you play with video cameras. Not after you tried to eat it last time. And THE TAPE was the straw that broke the chocobo's back! Who exactly were all those other guys? Did you just pick them up off the street? And why is it called 'Vieras, Vieras, And More Vieras' if you're the only Viera in it?"
"You don't understand art! Hey Mjrn? Want to be in my sequel? It will be called 'So Many Vieras You Won't Believe It'. I can find a lot of guys and pay them to be in the video. Would you like that?"
"Can I be in it?" Vaan asked.
"Yeah. And you can also be in Mjrn. I think that would make an interesting tape."
"No sex tapes. Get rid of that." Jerry said. Fran hissed at him.
"Don't make me send you to hell, because I will. And I won't miss! These claws are quite sharp, and I'm very accurate. I do use a bow after all."
"Fran, just get rid of the sex tape."
"No. Mjrn, get over here."
"Not so you can just go and violate me with a carrot again! That was extremely painful. At least with the Viera males there is a point where it turns into pleasure."
"I have no interest in shoving anything else up your pussy. I just someone here to help defend me if security tries to restrain me again.
"Hey Ashe. Fran looks ready to do something, and you know it's gonna be good." Penelo said.
"Penelo, that's the Viera documentary again!"