AN: I apologize for not giving you any resolution to "In a Fog." It wasn't necessarily written to have a follow up, but I've been tossing around a multi-chapter idea where that scenario would fit nicely. At some point, you may see a version of it, with the rest of the story.
This is the ultimatum make up snippet requested by lilacmermaid. I hope everyone enjoys it.
Making Amends
Elizabeth closed her eyes and exhaled, long and slow. She followed it with a deep breath and held it before letting it out. "Let's do this," she murmured and grabbed the small lunch cooler sitting on the seat before climbing out of the car. The wind was brisk and she walked quickly from the parking lot to the academic building where Henry's office was.
The walk upstairs was taken much more slowly. She chewed the inside of her cheek nervously. Elizabeth hoped this would be alright. In 16 years of marriage she'd never shown up at Henry's work unannounced. Truthfully, she didn't want Henry to have the opportunity to think about what she might have to say before she arrived.
Standing in front of his office door, she read the schedule, one she knew by heart. Then she knocked. "Come in," came his muffled response from the other side. She took one last deep breath before she turned the knob and stepped inside.
He was slouched in his chair, still looking down at the paper in his hand, glasses perched low on his nose, pen tapping his lip as he finished what he was reading. Henry glanced up and instantly sat up straight. His demeanor changed completely. She watched the blanket of tension cover him, the one that had been there for the last eight months.
Elizabeth's mind traveled back the eight months to when it happened. She had come home from work that day so thrilled about the promotion her boss had given her. She'd walked into the director's office expecting a stern rebuke and instead, he laid the station chief job at her feet. She shared the news with Henry that night before bed. She hadn't expected him to be thrilled, but his reaction was much stronger than she'd anticipated.
There were angry, hurtful words followed by silence and then he threw the ultimatum. "If you go, I don't know what it will look like when you get back." Had he meant divorce? Would they just be living together in the same house but not as a couple? Would he decide that their love wasn't worth it? Would he leave and take the kids with him? The questions swirled around her head as she stood at the kitchen sink watching him get in the car and drive away.
She wasn't sure how long she stood rooted to the spot. When she finally moved, it was to the phone. She picked it up and called the director at home, on a Saturday, to turn down the job. He'd pressed Elizabeth, thinking that appealing to her sense of duty would sway her. Much to his surprise, when he wouldn't relent, she quit.
Elizabeth quit to save her family and now it was destroying her family anyway. She had no idea how devastating it would be. She mourned the loss of her job at the CIA in the same way she'd mourned the loss of her parents years before. She was angry and then she was silent, both unable and unwilling to verbalize all of her emotions.
It was just in the last couple of weeks that Elizabeth had processed the situation to the point that she could make a plan, a plan that would get her to a better place, and give her something to make up for the loss of a career that was a large part of her identity. She hoped Henry would be on board, because if he wasn't, she wasn't sure what the next step would be.
"Hi," she said softly. "I brought lunch. I thought maybe we could talk." She held up the cooler awkwardly.
Henry nodded. "Um, yeah. I'd like that." He quickly cleared his desk of miscellaneous papers and made a spot for Elizabeth to set the bag down. The silence was uncomfortable and Elizabeth didn't know how to start, so she busied herself with the task of setting the food out.
She finally sat down and found him staring at her. "I'm glad you came," he said softly. "I've missed this. I've missed us."
"We'll see if you still feel the same way at the end of lunch." His eyes grew dark and she saw his jaw tighten. "I have a few things to say about what happened and how it went down, and what needs to happen now."
She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. Henry did too. He watched her. Henry knew how hard it was for Elizabeth to be emotionally vulnerable. He could tell she was gathering the courage to say what she needed to say. Tears pricked his eyes. He'd missed her so much over the past several months. He'd spent a lot of time trying to figure out if letting her go would have been better than telling her to stay.
He swallowed hard. It pained him that he had essentially told her to stay. In the beginning, he had tried to tell himself that it was her choice to quit. He didn't make her do that, but enough time had passed, he could see that he backed her into a corner where there would only be one acceptable choice, his.
When he had said that he didn't know what it would look like when she got back, he hadn't meant separation or divorce or taking the kids. Honestly, he wasn't really sure what he meant. And while Henry knew that he would never walk out on her, he used Elizabeth's own insecurities against her.
Her words snapped him back to the present and he met her gaze. "I have come to the conclusion that ultimately it was in the best interest of our family that I made the decision I did."
"I'm sorry I pushed you to do that," Henry said.
"No. Stop. Let me say what I need to say. Please?" Henry put his hand up in acknowledgement and mouthed the word sorry, then let her continue. "I just didn't know how much of who I was was tied up in my career. I didn't just lose a job Henry. I lost my best friends, my entire social circle, my purpose. For 15 years, I knew what I was doing and why I was doing it and suddenly it was gone. It was like a death, except it was worse because I chose it. I did it to myself." She felt the tears build behind her eyes and she willed them back. "Can you understand that?"
Henry stood and rounded the end of the the desk to kneel before her. He took her hands and held them in her lap. "I didn't know. If I had known, maybe I would've reacted differently. I just remembered how hard it was when you came back the first time and that was only for a couple months. You were talking at least a year. I was afraid of what it would do to you. To the kids. To us. I was so scared. I pushed you into a place where you felt like you had no other options. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Will you forgive me?"
"I do. Now. And you weren't wrong. Going would have changed things without a doubt. But, even I didn't realize how much quitting would effect me. It's taken me quite a while to get to the point where I can identify what's wrong and what will fix it. I want myself back. I want us back." She shook her head. "I don't just want it. I need it." Elizabeth was almost begging and the weight of it was crushing Henry.
"Anything. I'll do anything to get back to what we had. I just need you back. I want you to be happy." He fell face first in her lap, still clinging to her hands.
She pulled her hands away to push his head up so she could look at him. "I need to get out of here. I need us to leave." Henry gave her a confused look. "I can't stay in DC anymore. There's too much baggage associated with this place. It's too much of what I used to be that I can't be now. I want to build a new life Henry."
"You're sure?" he said. Elizabeth studied him and smiled slightly. He nodded as if it were settled. "I'll start packing tonight. Do you have a place in mind?" She bit her lower lip and nodded slowly before reaching down to pull a piece of paper from her purse. She handed it to him and he studied it briefly. "You want to buy a horse farm?"
"It's not just any horse farm Henry. It's where I grew up." She swallowed hard and looked at him wide eyed.
"Really? Your parents' farm is up for sale? How did you find out?" Henry's emotions were all over the place. He wanted to just say yes, but this seemed crazy.
"My lawyer emailed me the listing. I think he just did it so I would know, but I feel like it's meant to be."
"How are we going to pay for a horse farm? Elizabeth, I want to say yes, but we don't make that kind of money." Henry felt like he was playing the bad guy, crushing her dreams again.
"I want to cash in my trust," she murmured.
Henry's eyes went wide. "You want to do what? Is that a good idea? That's for the kids' college and our retirement. Are you sure?"
She looked at him earnestly. "I'm telling you that I can't live like I'm living now. I need a drastic change. I gave up everything I knew for us. And now, I'm asking that you think about doing the same. There are openings at UVA, for both of us. I mean we'd have to actually get the jobs, but there are jobs. We can start over. The kids can grow up like I did. Think about it. Please?"
"I don't need to think about it. The answer is yes. If that's what you want to do, we'll do it. I will go to the ends of the Earth to get you back to where you need to be." Henry slipped his hand around to the nape of her neck and pulled her so that their foreheads touched. "I love you and I want us to be us again. If this is what it takes, then we're buying a horse farm."
Elizabeth fell away from him dropped her head into her lap and wrapped her arms around her knees, sobs racking her lean frame. Henry was taken aback. "What's the matter?"
It took a few minutes before Elizabeth had calmed enough to speak. "I was so afraid you'd say no and I didn't know what I was going to do."
Henry offered her a tissue. "I screwed up once. I'm going to try never to do that again. I love you and I want you to be happy."
She leaned into Henry and kissed him deeply, smiling when she let him go. "Now that we've taken care of that, can we go ahead and eat? I've been so nervous that I haven't eaten all day. I'm starving." Henry grabbed the other chair that was in the corner and pulled it next to his wife and they began the discussion of telling the kids, and what would need to be done as they ate their lunch. For the first time, in over eight months, they were on the same page, and a sense of peace enveloped them both, and gave them the strength to embark on this new path.
