Authors Note: For the love of G people, I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!! however, I do own Alex, and everyone else, well screw them nah, jus kiddin.
Beginning of Show
Backround: -Audience claps-
Alex: -sitting in a chair-
Everyone else: -surrounding Alex in other chairs-
Alex: Hello everyone and welcome to The Show, with your host...wait, do we have a host?
Coconut: -Jumps up and down- ooh ooh ooh!!! I know, I know!
Alex: -sighs- Who is the host Coconut?
Coconut: YOUR FACE! -falls to the ground laughing-
Rose: -doesn't even look up from her book- You fucking idiot.
Coconut: Hey!
Box of Chocolates: Correction, You fucking GAY idiot.
Everyone: -starts laughing-
Coconut: -sniffles- You're mean!!! -runs to Rose-
Rose: -gives him purple fuzzy cat ears- There there Coconut.
Coconut: Yay!
Everyone else: WHAT THE FUCK.
Coconut: What? They are my special fuzzy purple kitty ears.
Everyone but Rose and Coconut: -twitches-
Orochimaru: ooh! Can I have a snake costume?
Everyone else: NO!
Orochimaru: But I wanna costume too! It's not fair!!! -whines-
Itachi: Shush shush, if you be a good boy, I'll -whispers-
Orochimaru: -sighs- Okay, but it won't be the same without a cool snake costume!
Itachi: I know, I know.
Box of Chocolates: Whoever wants to let these two erm...get a room, raise your hands.
Everyone else: Raises hands -including Itachi and Orochimaru-
Alex: Brilliant idea except for the fact that you broke the lock to the door of a warehouse 250 yards high making us trapped in here, idiot.
Box of Chocolates: Well, you know we wouldn't be in here if you didn't KIDNAP US!!!
Alex: True.
Alex and Box of Chocolates: -get into heated discussion-
Rose: -Reads book-
Itachi: -Gives Orochimaru a massage-
Orochimaru: -sighs and moans-
Coconut: Flips through seventeen magazine.
Sasuke: -cloaking himself with a jutsu to hide from Sakura-
Sakura: -can tell exactly where Sasuke is, and creeps up towards him-
Alex and Box of Chocolates: -stop arguing and watch everyone-
Box of Chocolates: -snatches seventeen magazine away from Coconut for himself-
Coconut: uhh, you BITCH! -tackles Box of Chocolates-
Box of Chocolates: -wrestles with Coconut-
Coconut: -giggles-
Alex: Okay, am I the ONLY one who thinks that Coconut is enjoying this a little too much?
Silence
Alex: Hello? -notices Rose- Hey Rose, don't you think Coconut is enjoying his little wrestling a little bit too much?
Rose: Yes, we all know your obsessed with Tom Welling.
Alex: Huh?
Rose: -absorbed in book-
Alex: -gets that she is not listening- What are you reading anyway?
Rose: N-n-nothing, I'm not doing anything wrong at all, why do you always assume that huh? STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
Alex: -scared look- Okay Rose, I'm only going to say this once, GIVE ME THE VAULT!
Rose: Oh, no vault this time, hehehehe.
Alex: Oh jeez. -snatches book away from Rose and starts flipping through it-
Rose: Nooooo!
Alex: -gets twisted look on her face- Okay, I understand that you are crazy Rose, but seriously, stealing Kakashi's book? That's just low.
Rose: I DIDN'T DO IT! I SWEAR! It was my...my...COUSIN! Yeah that's it, remember my evil cousin? Huh? Huh?
Alex: -sighs- What were you doing with his latest copy of Icha-Icha Paradise anyhow? It is usually directed at a men's audience.
Rose: Well, now that you mention it, -drags foot across carpet-
Alex: -face goes pale- DON'T TELL ME YOUR WRITING LEMONS, PLEASE.
Rose: -face brightens- Okay! I'm NOT writing Lemons!
Alex: For some reason, I don't believe you.
Rose: Well then that's your problem isn't it?
Alex: YOU ARE SICK IN THE HEAD MAN!
Rose: -grins- I know.
Everyone else: ...
Rose: Okay, Okay, I admit it, ya hear me? I ADMIT IT! But it's not MY fault I got hooked on Lemons as a result of Jir- ahem, I mean, as a result of my friend who shall not be named, heh heh heh.
Alex: JIRAIYA GAVE YOU A COPY OF THAT BOOK?!
Rose: An AUTHOGRAPHED copy of the book, but who said anything about Jiraiya? Huh? I didn't say anything about him, -gulps- I didn't I swear! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT DAMNIT!!!
Alex: You mentioned Jiraiya, idiot.
Box of Chocolates: -stops wrestling for a second- erm, is it time to give Rose her medicine yet Coconut?
Coconut: -looks at watch- Um, that depends on whether we start giving her meds... I mean, weren't we supposed to force the medicine down her throat since last year.
Box of Chocolates: -slaps head in frustration- were gonna get it now.
Alex: WHAT THE HELL DO I PAY YOU GUYS FOR? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ADMINISTER THE CRAZY LADY HER MEDS TO SAVE ME MONEY FROM SENDING HER INTO A MENTAL INSTITUTION!
Everyone else: …
Box of Chocolates: told ya
Alex: -takes a Prozac with water- ahhh, that's better. Now, where was I?
Sasuke: Erm, Who needs the crazy medicine again?
Everyone besides Alex: -laughs-
Alex: Shut up emo dork!
Sasuke: JUST BECAUSE I HAVE DEEP EMOTIONAL ISSUES, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM CLASSIFIED WITH THE EMOTIONAL PEOPLE! -sniffs-
Coconut: There, there, -hands him a tissue-
Sasuke: -tear- Thank you. -sniff-
Alex: Oh brother -smacks head-
Itachi: Did someone say brother? Because when someone says brother, I think of my Sasuke, and when I think of my Sasuke I think about how I am going to-
Rose: -covers Itachi's mouth-
Itachi: mmhmmmmhmmmhhmhhmhmhmhmmhhmhhhmph
PING!
Alex: OOHH! FAN MAIL!!!
Orochimaru: -mail voice- We've got mail!
Alex: -twitch- don't do that.
Orochimaru: Do what? -smacks Alex's ass-
Alex: -Goes red- DUDE! THAT IS A PRIVATE AREA YOU JUST SMACKED! GET YOUR SNAKE HANDS OFF OF ME YOU URUSAI ERO TEME JYAMA!
Sasuke: I have no idea what you just said but it sounded sexy.
Orochimaru: -giggles-
Everyone besides girls: -nods heads in agreement-
Alex: Why am I cursed with such perverted idiots?!
Box of Chocolates: Just lucky I guess...
Everyone besides Alex: -laughs-
Alex: -sinks head in hands-
Rose: Oooh! Aaaah!
Alex: -looks at Rose- I don't even want to know.
Rose: Sure ya do!
Alex: -goes pale- No, I don't.
Rose: Of course ya do! -drags Alex to the book-
Alex: -mouths the words help me-
Box of Chocolates: I think we're forgetting about the fan mail.
Alex & Rose: -take detour to the computer to read the fan mail- -start laughing hysterically over it-
Everyone else: uhhhh...
Alex: What? We're not reading anything disturbingly funny at all, nope not us, you got the wrong people, WHY DO YOU STARE SO? I mean, heh heh, go about your business, we are in the process of doing...erm...important shit.
Everyone else: -crowds around the computer to read it.-
Alex: -sighs- fine, I'll read it aloud, this is from RedEyed Wolf-2nd:
lolz. Poor Sasuke, he's getting raped by Itachi and Sakura. I wanna turn!
Alex: -laughs- well, I can't promise you anything, but...heh heh heh.
Sasuke: So, you wanna be raped or be the rapee?
Itachi & Orochimaru: -starts laughing hysterically-
Sasuke: What?
Itachi & Orochimaru: YOU SAID RAPEE!
Sasuke: -sighs- I cannot believe our whole clan died because of this idiot.
Itachi: Hey!
Sasuke: What are you gonna cry now? Ya pansy-ass!
Itachi: -steps closer to Sasuke- (he has a foot on him) Oh Sasuke, you have NO idea what I am capable of.
Sasuke: Why does that make me feel scared and loved too much?
Itachi: -giggles- because that's exactly what it is.
Sasuke: Oh god, oh god.
Itachi: grabs Sasuke by the arms and passionately kisses him.
Sasuke: mmhmmmm!!! -starts flailing legs to get away from Itachi-
Coconut and Box of Chocolates: -hold hands- Awww! Isn't that cute?
Alex: -grabs rubbish can and "passionately" tosses her cookies-
Orochimaru: hmph! We're done Itachi! -poofs out of building-
Rose: -takes Polaroid and sticks it in her scrapbook-
Alex: -Sneaks up behind Itachi and smacks him in the head with a textbook.-
Itachi: -Releases Sasuke to rub his head-
Sasuke: -gasps for breath-
Sasuke: you -gasps- fucking -pants- gay -gasps- perverted -pants- ASS!
Itachi: Thank you, I thought I did pretty well too.
Sasuke: -twitches-
Itachi: Hey, where did Orochimaru go?
Alex: He left you smart-ass, what did you think he was gonna do after he saw you sucking face with your brother?
Rose: -starts laughing uncontrollably- SUCKING FACE!
Itachi: Noooooooooo! Come back to me baby! Come baaaack!
Coconut: It's okay, there there.
Alex: What are you the guidance counselor or something Coconut?
Coconut: No, I just have feelings for everyone -quivering voice-
Box of Chocolates: It's okay.
Nick: -poofs in- It's sexy time!
-Audience claps-
Alex: NO, NO, IT CAN'T BE-
Nick: But it is, Tuesdays are sexy time!
Alex: No, not that, perv, I was talking about, NO, NO, IT CAN'T BE, NICK!
Nick: Oh! -takes a bow- by the way, I DIDN'T DO IT!
Everyone else: -laughs-
Alex: Oh boy.
Nick: -sneaks up by Rose and whispers in her ear- Boobies.
Rose: YOU SICK BASTARD! -tries to wack him on the head, but he is too fast for her.
Alex: -sighs-
Coconut: -giggles- he's cute.
Box of Chocolates: Uhh! Excuse Me?!
Coconut: -realizes Box of Chocolates- I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it.
Box of Chocolates: -sniffles-
Alex: -grabs trashcan and pukes-
Nick: -watches Box of Chocolates and Coconut's conversation- Sorry man, I don't roll like that.
Coconut: So, how do you roll? On top? Or on bottom?
Alex: -picks up the trashcan and pukes again-
Everyone else: -twitches uncontrollably-
Nick: Hey Alex, do you know what it looks like to french kiss?
Alex: No...
Nick: Like this: -sticks his tongue out and starts waving it around-
Alex: -falls to the ground laughing-
Rose: Uhh, what the fuck?
PING!
Box of Chocolates: WE'VE GOT MAIL!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT? WE'VE GOT MAAIL! WE'VE GOT MA-AIL! WE'VE GOT-
Alex: BOX OF CHOCOLATES! WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST FIVE TIMES!
Box of Chocolates: Oh, hehehe, my bad.
Coconut: What's up with Alex? -winks-
Nick: She's just freaking out 'cuz I sent her flowers.
Coconut & Nick: -laugh-
Alex: Okay, here it goes:
Hi Cherry-chan,
You know,
alot of these overall themes look familiar... I wonder where you
got them FROM... Anyway, I have questions!
Orochimaru: OMG you're so smmeexxy! I love you! Will you marry me? And then let Kabuto be our slave?
Itachi: Eh? no questions for you... but I've got sweets for you! How do you make your hair wavy in the wind like that? 'tis so smexy!
Sasuke: Who's better -wink-
Naruto, Itachi, Orochimaru, or Kabuto? And are you always the uke
because your name is sasUKE?
Well, I think that's all the
questions I have for you at the moment... Have fun -
winkwink-,
Rose
Everyone except Rose: -stare at Rose-
Alex: Why the fuck would you send mail on a show you are on?
Rose: Because I love you all so much?
Alex: Nah, that's not it.
Rose: -shrugs shoulders-
Orochimaru: -poofs in and ignores Itachi- I am only here to answer the question, and not to talk to SOMEONE that is a manwhore.
Nick: dude, I wouldn't talk to you, I don't even know you, besides, your way creepy.
Orochimaru: -sighs- I meant the other manwhore, Itachi.
Nick: Oh, in that case, he's all yours to not talk to.
Orochimaru: thank you.
Alex: CAN YOU PLEASE JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION?
Orochimaru: hmph, well, Rose, I know I'm smexxy. -flips hair- It comes with the territory you know? -grins and sits in chair and crosses legs- I would be absolutely thrilled to marry you, except for the fact that I am gay. Besides, you scare me.
Rose: Awwww.
Orochimaru: But on the matter of Kabuto, he can be our full time bitch.
Rose: Yay!
Everyone else: What the fuck.
Itachi: -grabs sweets and starts shoving them in his mouth- Well, I use this great haircare line, where, I don't wash my hair at all.
Everyone else: Ewww
Itachi: All I have to do to keep it wavy is to eat lots and lots and lots of-
Alex: Stop right there! We don't wanna hear about your gross habits!
Itachi: Awwww. Okay.
Sasuke: You're annoying Rose. I occasionally switch positions, but it has nothing to do with my name. Naruto, is of course, the best, but I like to keep it on the DL, but I think everyone knows about us since Naruto makes so many noises while we-
Alex: -twitches- JUST KILL ME NOW, PLEASE!
Rose: But we like to watch you suffer.
Alex: Thanks Rose.
Rose: No problem.
Nick: -stares at Rose as she walks into her room- (everyone has their own room)
Alex: -sees Nick watching Rose- Call the Make a Wish foundation If you wanna so bad.
Nick -grins-
Sasuke: Well, that concludes another episode of The Show. See ya next time!
Everyone else: -waves goodbye-
End of Show
quotes from the tv show House. Which I do not own.
Authors Note: Well, that's it, hope ya liked it! Please review!!! all reviews are appreciated!!!