Authors Note: I am REALLY loving the love here guys! Keep it up! More inspiration in the form of Naruto characters getting abused. YAY! Special Thanks to Truth's Rose who has reviewed every chapter!! I do not own Naruto...blah blah blah. And now story time!
Background: -Audience claps-
Rose: Okay. -deep breath- DOES ANYBODY ELSE HERE THE MYSTERIOUS CLAPPING? HUH? HUH?
Itachi: I think Rose has kicked the bucket.
Orochimaru: Oh, what a sad day indeed.
Itachi: Too bad, actually.
Rose: HELLO? I'M STILL HERE PEOPLE!!
Itachi: Oh will you look at that! Rose came back in ghost form! Now we can have an orgy!
Orochimaru: Yay for orgy's!!
Sasuke: -rocks back and forth- I'M NEVER GETTING OUT OF THIS NUTHOUSE SANE!
Itachi: Sorry Sasuke, you already lost your sanity.
Orochimaru: Not to mention your virginity.
Itachi: That was from me though, not you.
Orochimaru: -sigh- True.
Sasuke: -turns an unhealthy color and passes out-
Hinata: Ano...Is Sasuke-kun going to be alright?
Itachi: Yea, he usually does that after REALLY great sex.
Hinata: O.o
Orochimaru: But he didn't get laid today...
Itachi: WHOA! Didn't know little Sasuke had it in him man.
Kiba: What the hell are you two idiots talking about?
Itachi: Come on, if no one in here screwed him, then there's only one logical explanation...
Orochimaru: -gasps- NARUTO BECAME INVISIBLE AND SCREWED HIM?!
Naruto: WHAT?! TEME!
Orochimaru: No need to get defensive, Naruto. Everybody needs to get a piece of Sasuke once in a while.
Itachi: -sigh- actually, I was referring to him masturbating.
Alex: -walks through a pop-up door- Okay, okay, let's calm down. You! -points to Sasuke- Stop doing nasty things to yourself.
Sasuke: -nods and curls in fetal position-
Alex: Don't think that you can hide your fantasies in the fetal position Sasuke, sit up or I chain you to the wall.
Itachi: PLEASE!!
Sasuke: -grudgingly sits up-
Alex: Good, now, YOU TWO! -points to Orochimaru and Itachi- STOP MAKING DIRTY COMMENTS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SECOND.
Itachi and Orochimaru: -nod-
Kiba: Are you going to take that from a GIRL? Orochimaru is one of the legendary Sannin, and Itachi is in freaking Akatsuki for Pete's sake!
Sasuke: -mutters- Damn Akatsuki to the lowest pit in hell.
Orochimaru: -under his breath- ooh Kiba, you are in trouuuublleeee!
Alex: -turns to Kiba- Alright Kiba. -smiles angelically- I'll tell you what. -smile disappears into a snarl and she grabs Kiba by the collar and raises him against the wall- You EVER talk to me like I'm a piece of fucking meat and that I'm worthless again? I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF. -smiles angelically and puts Kiba down- Are we clear?
Kiba: -gulps- Um. I think we're good.
Alex: -yells- I SAID ARE WE CLEAR BOY?
Kiba: -whimpers- YES! CRYSTAL!
Alex: -smiles- Fantastic.
Everyone else: O.O
Itachi: -whistles- Dayum Alex. You're a bitch!
Orochimaru: Didn't think she had it in her.
Alex: -shrugs- It comes and goes.
Rose: Hey, where did the two lovers go?
Itachi and Orochimaru: Right here! -raise hands-
Rose: -sigh- I meant Box of Chocolates and Coconut.
Alex: Oh yea, they sent a postcard. -scanning over the postcard- Supposedly they're in Mexico eating coconut covered chocolates watching the sunset...oh god -gags- gross! And...um...doing their little fantasies.
Rose: Oh. Wow, that's explicit.
Alex: Well, Coconut did get awards for English.
Rose: True.
Orochimaru: -sighs- I wish we were in Mexico. -takes Itachi's hand-
Itachi: Yeah! Sasuke could even go with us!
Sasuke: No one's stopping you.
Orochimaru: Great let's go! -grabs Sasuke's hand and drags him to the pop-up door-
Sasuke: -horror-
Ita/Sasu/Oro: -walk through the pop-up door-
Orochimaru: -starry eyes- It's beautiful!
Sasuke: Baka. It's just a door.
Itachi: -wacks Sasuke up the head- Let him dream!
Sasuke: -recoils back to his corner-
Itachi: Emo!
Sasuke: FOR THE LAST TIME. I AM NOT EMOTIONAL. I JUST HAVE MAJOR ISSUES AS A RESULT FROM THE ONLY FAMILY I HAVE LEFT. -glares at Itachi- And if I'm emo, then you are a nail polish wearing, slutty, bad taste in clothes, ass-wipe PUSSY!
Itachi: -gasps-
Naruto: Holy shit. He's speechless.
Kiba: -puts a finger on Itachi- SZZZZZZZZ. Ouch. Gonna need some ice for that burn.
Naruto: -stifles a laugh-
Itachi: -tries using Mangekyou Sharingan on Kiba-
Alex: Psh. Come ON! Did you really think that I would let you use that shit in HERE?
Itachi: -whimpers- Yes.
Alex: Wow, you just get stupider by the minute.
Itachi: Nah-UH! -runs to Orochimaru and sulks-
Rose: Hey, do we have any fan mail?
Alex: Great idea, Rose, -checks computer- WE DO HAVE FANMAIL!
Naruto: Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
Sasuke: THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
Alex: -glares at Sasuke- Now, this next one comes from Rose...again.
Naruto: Like I said, Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
Alex: One more peep out of you, fox-boy, and I release the hounds on you.
Kiba: -rolls on the ground laughing-
Alex: What?
Kiba: RELEASE THE HOUNDS!! AND HE'S A FOX!! GENIUS!!
Alex: -sighs- ANYWAY, here it is:
Strange...
You are a twisted soul...MOAR YAOI PLOX!
The illiteracy of that kills me.
Love,
Nikk
Itachi: Who do you think she was calling a 'twisted soul'?
Orochimaru: One can only guess. -cough-ALEX-cough-
Itachi: -snickers-
Alex: I heard that. But I'll let it slide. Rose, what exactly were you demanding?
Rose: Uhh...
Alex: You were high when you wrote this weren't you?
Rose: Psh...Nooooo...
Alex: -gives her a look-
Rose: Okay, maybe only a teensy-weensy bit.
Alex: -palm smack-
Sasuke: I didn't know she did that stuff. Happy belated 4/20 Rose. Cheers! -clinks pretend glass-
Hinata: 4/20?
Kiba: CLOSE YOUR EARS HINATA, YOUR PURE SOUL SHOULDN'T HEAR THAT STUFF!
Alex: No, Rose getting high is her totally gnarly combo of sniffing sharpies and chugging Vault for three hours straight. It's a pretty trippy ride. But how do you know about 4/20 Kiba?
Naruto: Better question, how does SASUKE know what 4/20 is?
Itachi: -cough-COZHE'SEMO-cough-
Sasuke: And your still an ass-wipe pussy that desperately wants in on my pants.
Itachi: -sticks tongue out-
Sasuke: -flips him the bird-
Kiba: -snickers-
Itachi: Kiba, I have methods other than Mangekyou Sharingan...and I know where Akamaru is.
Kiba: -whimpers-
Alex: ANYWAY... Can anyone make sense of this illiterate sentence?
Naruto: I think she wants more...YAOI?! Gross!
Itachi: Better give the people what they want!
Orochimaru: DAMN RIGHT! -sticks out snake tongue and licks Itachi from jaw to ear-
Rose: Can't you give me a little more, guys?
Itachi: Bitch, we're just getting started.
Rose: SQUEE!
Ita/Oro: -make out passionately-
Alex: -gets in between them and puts one hand on each of their chests- ALL RIGHT, BREAK IT UP YOU TWO, BREAK. IT. UP.
Itachi: -takes a breath- If you wanted in on it you could've just asked, Alex. -grabs Alex's face-
Alex: I swear, Itachi, if you don't get your ha-
Itachi: -forces Alex's mouth open and starts making out with her-
Alex: -flails arms and tries to pull away-
Itachi: -pushes her face forward-
Alex: -retreats backwards-
Itachi: -follows, not breaking the kiss-
Alex: -trips over bottle and falls back first on the infamous bed-
Itachi: -goes with her-
Everyone else: O.O
Naruto: Holy shit. Itachi is going to get his ass whipped!
Kiba: If he ever stops sucking face with Alex.
Naruto: -shrugs-
Rose: -glances at watch- This has to be the longest kiss EVER!
Everyone else: -nod in agreement-
Itachi: -gets off of bed-
Alex: -chest heaving-
Sasuke: Dawg, when she gets up, she's gonna be PISSED!
Itachi: Which is exactly why I made that kiss so long, so it would incapacitate her.
Kiba: GENIUS!
Itachi: -nods-
Hinata: Ano...Alex-san? -pokes-
Alex: -staring at ceiling, chest still heaving-
Hinata: -pulls out herb and puts it under Alex's nose-
Alex: -sits up suddenly- -growls- ITACHI.
Itachi: shit.
Alex: -walks up to Itachi and punches him with a force like Tsunade-
Itachi: -flies across the room, hits wall, slides down unconscious-
Alex: -sigh- much better.
Everyone else: O.O
Rose: Remind me never to get on your bad side.
Orochimaru: -walks up to Itachi- Itachi? -nudges foot against him- Itachi? -pokes-
Itachi: x.X
Sasuke: -hopeful- IS HE DEAD?
Orochimaru: No. Just out cold. Dayum Alex.
Alex: -shrugs-
Hinata: -looks over the fanmail- Ano. Alex-san, didn't you say that the fanmail was from Rose-san?
Alex: Yeah, I did. -rechecks- it is from Rose. Why does it say Nikk then?
Rose: Coz I changed my name.
Alex: ?
Rose: -dark voice- You will now refer to me as Nikk. Anybody with the balls to call me otherwise will get this very large branding stick shoved up their ass. -menacing look-
Alex: Don't forget to heat it up Ro- I mean Nikk, that will hurt like a bitch.
Rose: That's what I was planning on. -looks at the sky- AND YOU! -growls- Creator who I know the name of...If you continue to write this fic from here forth with my name as Rose, severe consequences will occur.
Voice: -laughs- Haven't changed one bit have you Rose?
Rose: -growls-
Voice: Oh fine then, Nikk.
Nikk: Thank you.
Everyone besides Rose-erm Nikk, and Alex: O.O
Kiba: Did you guys just hear a very menacing and dark voice?
Everyone: Uh-huh.
Kiba: Okay, just checking.
Voice: Alex, hurry up and do the other review...I wanna ride my bike.
Alex: -sigh- You are the saddest fifteen year old I have ever laid my eyes on.
Voice: Oh well.
Alex: Jeez. Why can't you get laid like any other fifteen year old?
Voice: ...
Alex: -screams-
Nikk: What?
Alex: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Voice: Then continue the show without the wise ass ness.
Nikk: Wise ass ness?
Voice: -growls-
Nikk: ON WITH THE SHOW!
Voice: -disappears-
Alex: -jumpy- Our...um...sorry...Our next review is from okamiko-hopeless
Nikk: Hey! Why wasn't my name italicized?
Alex: Coz you're not important enough.
Nikk: Hmph.
Alex: I gave you the new name didn't I?
Nikk: -sigh- I guess.
Alex: On with it then.
lol this is really funny. Yay for itachi!! he's cute!! sasuke too xD orochimaru you snake freak, leave sasuke alone! Or you'll get attacked by kyuubi...or not xP ok, that's all hehe cool fic
Naruto: Hmm. Too bad Itachi's passed out cold. Haha.
Sasuke: I am NOT cute.
Nikk: Sure you are, chicken head!
Sasuke: I am an individual teenager who is NOT cute.
Kiba: So in other words...Emo.
Sasuke: -glares-
Kiba: -shrugs- it's true.
Orochimaru: Hmph. Well, I think we get more severely impaired misunderstanding reviews by the second!
Alex: Aww. You're just salty coz she doesn't like you.
Orochimaru: -sniffs- I'm cute too!
Everyone else: YEAH RIGHT!
Orochimaru: -sulks- Besides, like kyuubi could kill me. I'm untouchable.
Naruto: -mutters- Modest aren't we?
Orochimaru: But of course.
Naruto: Kyuubi could so take you.
Orochimaru: Is that a challenge?
Kyuubi: -from Naruto's stomach- YOU BET YOUR PUSSY SNAKE ASS IT IS.
Orochimaru: O.O
Kyuubi: Foxes EAT snakes BYOTCH!
Kiba: Did he just say byotch?
Nikk: SHH!
Orochimaru: Since when? I could swallow you whole if I wanted to.
Kyuubi: LIKE HELL YOU COULD!
Naruto: Kyuubi. Stop kicking!
Kyuubi: Oh, don't pretend you don't like it.
Everyone else: O.O
Naruto: Jeez. So troublesome.
Kiba: Uh-oh. We got a 'Shikamaru' on our hands.
Shikamaru: Not funny Kiba.
Kiba: Shikamaru? How'd you get here?
Shikamaru: Magic.
Kiba: ?
Alex: Before ANOTHER fight breaks out, we'll cut it here. So, until next time folks! -waves-
Naruto: You know they can see right through that false pretense, right?
Alex: -Turns towards Naruto and snarls-
Naruto: -gulps-
Authors Note: So. That's it! Hope you Enjoyed! Now, as a tribute to this fic, wouldn't you just LOVE to press that little button and submit a review, wouldn't ya?
-puppy eyes- PWEESE? And Thank you's!