Author's note: Sorry for the late update! and I promise the next chapter will have more Alucard! Also TW: drug use
He's on top of me. I feel his hands go up and down my thighs as I moan softly, and pathetically against his lips. I had forgotten what it was like to be touched in such a manner. His calluses scraping against my pant. I wonder what his hands bare against my thighs would feel like.
I don't know how this happened. All I remember is driving back to his mansion and him pushing me down onto the couch in the din after getting us wine. He locked the door behind us.
Oh god what am I doing?
His hands unbuttons my suit jacket, my breathing increases rapidly. My heart feels as if it going to explode.
I remember when you use do spontaneous things like pushing yourself on top of me. I was powerless to you. You use make me make all sorts of noises. Noises that I didn't even know existed.
I shut my eyes. His lips move to my throat. His lips feel like yours. My heart flutters, and my palms sweat.
"Al.." I pant, "Alu.."
He stops, and lifts his head from my throat, I open my eyes. I notice his puzzling look. I start to panic. If he knew we use to be lovers, then it would be over. He'd never speak with me again. I have betrayed him. I have had thoughts of another man. I give him a worrying look. But he smiles.
Huh?
He begins chuckle softly. "Oh dear, I must have gotten you really going to make those sorts of sounds." He chuckles a bit loader.
I relax. I am safe.
He continues to kiss me softly.
No.
I can't let him kiss me. I can't think about you again. Guilt hits me. How dare I do this him, how dare you make me think of you when I am kissing him! You bastard!
I kiss him harder just to spite you. His lips open and his tongue enter my mouth without warning. I love it. I love the way he feels compared to you. He warm, and his flesh is hot. I feel hot, and I embrace him as our bodies melt into each others. Our hands explore each other's bodies. I love how his pulse feels as my hands rub his chest. I hear him whimper. His voice is like honey to my ear. I wonder how I feel to him as I let him toy with my body. He begins to play with my belt buckle.
Oh god, he's going to take off my pants. He's going to fuck me.
"No!" I yelp, pushing his chest hard, he stumbles back, his arm knocking off over the glasses of wine on the table. The glass rolls and falls on my pants. He stands up quickly.
"I'm sorry!" He exclaims. Taking a napkin and trying to clean up my pants. His hands frantic and his face full of embarrassment and worry.
"No, stop Samuel!" I exclaim. Sitting up on the sofa. He stops, his brow furrows. I saw the shame on his face. I can not help but feel bad. Maybe If I didn't push this wouldn't have happened.
"I'm sorry Samuel I just-"
"Integra, you're fine. It's my fault. I shouldn't have been so forward." He hangs his head slightly. "I am sorry."
My eyes soften. He looks so pitiful. I have never seen him so… defeated. My hand reaches for his shoulder, It's firm, and I notice he is not wearing any shoulder pads.
So his shoulders are naturally that broad huh?
"No, It's fine, I suppose we both got a little carried away." I stated, still rubbing his shoulder. His hand takes mine. He blinks before speaking.
"I suppose we did. Maybe we should slow down." He turns his head to me and smiles. I smile back.
"I think that would be for the best."
He nods at my statement in approval. I sigh in relief.
"Well now that we are in agreement. Can we figure out what to do about my pant situation?" I say, taking my hand off his shoulder.
His eyes widen and he snaps his fingers. "Right!" He stands up quickly. "Come with me." He gestures, I stand up. I follow him down the hallway, an up a staircase.
Are we going up to his room?
I hope not, I do not need the temptation.
What? What am I saying? I'll just chicken out again!
"I still have some of my late wife's clothing. She was about your size." He comments. I swallow hard. Victoria.
It feels strange knowing another woman had his heart, his body, his bed, way before I did. For a brief moment, I wonder what she was like. She looked pleasant enough from the picture. I bet she was wonderful.
He takes me to his room. As he opens the door, his natural musk became noticeable. His natural scent was thick and heavy. The smell of a man without any cologne. It was overpowering.
His bed wasn't made, and there were clothes everywhere. Coffee mugs strung about, papers carelessly placed on his bed and floor. I raise my eyebrow. He's messy.
"My, My, does your staff know your room looks like this?" I ask.
He waves me off. "I'm never here, and I don't like people touching my things." He explains.
"I see." I narrow my eyes.
"And I suppose I find comfort in disorder." He adds.
"Hm?"
"I find comfort in clutter." He says in a clearer tone.
"I never pegged you as the type." I say. "You always seemed so organized."
"Maybe on the outside." He says in a quiet tone. I look at him curiously. His body tense. He eyes look at me with a certain suspicion.
"Anyway, I'll be right back." He says quickly, slipping into his closet, he shuts the door behind him. That was strange. He never acted on guard like this around me. I cross my arms. Moments later, he comes out with a pleated, light blue, ankle length skirt. LIke the ones I use to wear when I was a young girl. My eyes soften. I have not worn a skirt like that in years. Although I shiver, realizing his wife use to wear it.
What am I supposed to do? Walk around in wine soaked pants?
I sigh in internally before taking them from his hands. "Thank you, Samuel." I say.
He nods, "You are most welcome." He smiles. I notice his body isn't tense anymore. That puts me at ease as well.
"I'll be outside the room if you need me." He says, before turning around and leaving his room, shutting the door behind them. I slump my shoulders, frowning at my wet pants.
Oh damn, I am going to get naked in his bedroom, without him.
I slowing take off my shoes, and undo my belt buckle. Then I slowly take off my pants, I feel weird being half naked in his room. This feels like it is too early in our courtship to be doing this.
What the hell am I talking about? He was on top of me not even ten minutes ago!
I shake my head, and put on the skirt. There, It fits. It came up to my bellybutton, and had a string in the back. I didn't bother tighten it, it was already tight enough.
His wife was skinnier than me.
I shake my head again. That shouldn't matter. He had his hands all over me. A size up wouldn't be a deal.
Why am I being so sensitive?
I shake my head once more, I stand up straight, and flatten the skirt. I look around the room, before I walk to the door. My hand reaching for the door knob, but something inside of me stops me from from opening the door.
My eyes wander around the room. I suppose I could look around. I quietly step away from the door. I then slowly pace around the room. I pick up on of the glass mugs off the floor. There use to be coffee in the mug. It smelled of stale hazelnuts. I grimace in disgust. I set it down.
I then approach his nightstand. There lay a picture of Samuel, next to a blonde man, they were close to the same height. I raise my brow. I wonder for a moment who the man next to him was. A friend? A brother? Business partner? Or perhaps all three. I remember him mentioning he had a brother. But the man in the picture, looked nothing like samuel. I open the nightstand drawn. What I saw, made me drop my mouth open in shock.
A joint?
I look at it puzzlingly. I gently pick it up, examining it. It smells of sticky pine.
"What are you doing?" I hear a voice coming from behind me. I yip, nearly dropping the joint, but I keep it in my fist, and hide it behind my back.
"Samuel! You can't just walk in here! I could have been naked!" I exclaim.
"I'll take my chances." He says smoothly, making his way to me, I tense. He furrows his brow at me suspiciously.
"What do you have behind your back?" He asks, crossing his arms. My mouth opens but no words escape my lips, my mouth goes dry. I try to find words to say to him. My forehead sweats.
"Come on." He says. "Let me have it." He holds out his hand. I look at his hand, then back at his face.
Oh no… I have been caught.
I slowly move my fist in front of me, opening it.
"I found this." I say in a cool tone.
"Ah, so you were snooping yeah?" He asks.
"I… uh…" My mouth goes dry again.
He chuckles. "So you found my other stash."
"Yes."
"Does it bother you?" He asks, leaning on his right side.
"No. I intoxicate myself on alcohol, how is that any different, we all find ways to disorant ourselves from time to time." I explain. His laugh comforts me.
"I see." he takes the joint from my hand. "So… Do you want to try it?"
I gasp.
Did he really just ask me that?
"I never…" I trial off, looking at the small joint in between his finger tips. He sits on the bed. Pulling out a lighter, before I even had a chance to give a real answer. Was he trying to peer pressure me? I narrow my eyes.
"You know, I thought you were above subtle peer pressure." I say, in a flat tone.
"I will not pressure you. But that will not stop me from indulging in it myself." He answers me. My eyes widened.
I take a step back. "When I said pleasure, this isn't what I had in mind."
"I tried to. You knocked wine all over your pants." He lights the joint and takes a drag. I saw I small grin on his lips. I groan in anger.
"Damnit!" I sit next to him. "Give me that!" I hold out my hand.
His eyes go wide in shock. "Integra…" He gives me a sheepish look.
"Give it!" I demand. He sighs and hands it over.
I put the joint between my lips, and I inhale. I immediately cough like crazy. He takes the joint away, and pats my back.
"Integra, it is not the same as a cigar." he explains. I continue to cough.
I pound my chest with my fist, and I slowly settle.
"So, when will it take effect?" I ask. I see him begin to laugh. I scoff.
"Well, you barely inhaled." He says. "If you want to try again, you can."
I take it from him. And I inhale once more, this time it enters my lungs. It still feels strange, but not as bad as before. I make sure I take the longest drag I can without coughing. Once I pull it away, I slowly exhale.
Woah…
To be continued.