Everything was fuzzy, and moving. I was sitting up, somewhere, moving. I move my hands around my lap.

Leather seats… I'm in a car.

I open my eyes. My eyes slowly adjust to the darkness of the cars interior. I am in the back seat. I feel sluggish and tired. I feel hungry, and my mind is airy from my high. My body feels like it is on a cloud traveling at the speed of sound.

My hand travels to the right of me, I feel a thigh, a man's thigh.

"Glad to see you are awake Integra." I hear Samuel's voice. I turn my head to see him.

"Samuel." I say, my voice course. "Where are we going?"

"I am taking you home. It's late, and you fell asleep when I was giving a massage." He answers me, He does not look me. His eyes are on the driver.

I reach for his hand with mine, he takes it.

I am relieved.

"Oh, I don't remember falling asleep." I say in a bubbly tone. I snicker, and lean against him.

"I see you're high hasn't worn off." He states in a emotionless expression. I whimper, and frown, I put one of my hands through his beard. He hums under his breath.

I continue to touch his hair, it is smoother than it usually is. I don't know if it because I am under the influence, or if he using something different in his hair. He looks over at me, giving me a half smile.

"Does my hair feel nice?" He asks. I nod.

He looks at the driver, gesturing something I do not understand. The car slow begins to pick up speed.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Almost home." he says. "Your home."

"Oh." I frown, and slink back over into my seat, looking out the window. The way the world moves outside of the car made it look like a river of color, everything looks as if it is bleeding together. My mouth open, and my eyes dull as I continue to stare. I hadn't realized we are back at my mansion, although I recognize the shape of it.

"Stay in the car, Integra." Samuel speaks to me. I do not look at him, I do not say anything.

I hear him get him out of the car. I blink, but do not turn my head.

I see the green of my yard blend in with the night sky. Black and green mixing together and becoming a muddy green.

I hear the door open. And I turn to see who opened it.

Walter?

"Come with me Sir." he says, extending his hand out to me. I look down at his hand, then his face, then back to his hand. I take it slowly. I climb out, nearly hitting my head.

"Careful Sir." I hear Walter say. My eyes are not on Walter, My eyes are wondering for Samuel. But he is nowhere to be found.

"Walter?"

"Yes Sir."

"Where is Samuel?"

"In the house, waiting for you."

My mouth opens, but I do not speak, instead I let Walter take me in, I follow his lead. Although I think he is moving to fast, my feet stumble to try and keep up, but I am too foggy to protest. For a brief moment, I think he is going to pick me up, but he doesn't. He takes me inside my mansion. My eyes again look for my lover.

I begin to feel upset before I hear Samuel call for me.

"Integra." he addresses me. "I am terribly sorry for letting you down." he says in a soft tone, taking me hands, he looks at them.

"Me? Down?" I say, my brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

"I am so sorry." he continues, rubbing my hands. Kissing my forehead. I blink, his lips are dry.

"For?"
"For letting this happen. It wasn't right." He explains. "Now I will call you in the morning. All right?"

I try to find words, but I can't. My mind won't let me.

I just stare at him, his eyes looking into mine.

"Okay." I say slowly.

I see him smile slightly. He gives me a kiss. "Goodnight. Integra."

"Goodnight Samuel."

Walter comes into my field of vision, assorting Samuel out. I notice the look on Walter's face. It is one of frustration, and annoyance.

Samuel must have told on us.

As I watch Samuel leave, I go to turn away, there is a hunger building in my stomach. I go down the hall, Looking for the kitchen. I hear Walter call for me, but I do not bother to answer him. I want to safety my hunger.

Was hunger a side effect?

I didn't know, I knew nothing of the plant. And what I did know probably was misinformation. I continue to make my way down the hall to kitchen. But… I hear you. Your voice.

"Master?" I hear you. My back turns cold as I feel your presence.

"Yes my servant?" I turn to face you. I still keep a smile on my face. I see the look of concern on your face.

"Are you okay?" You ask. You step closer. I feel my body tingle as you get closer. I stand still.

"Yeah.." I say, "Just hungry." I see you give me a weird look.

"I think you should be in bed." You to me, crossing your arms.

I give you the same weird look in return.

"But i'm hungry." I say, curling up my eyebrow.

"You can eat when you wake up." You explain. As you speak to me, I notice how attractive you look as the light of the moon shines on the side of your face.

I smirk a little, "You are forgetting who the master is here." I say playfully.

I see your face turn from concern to teasing. I want you to play along.

"Well, isn't my duty to look after you master?" You explain, "Your wellbeing is my priority." You bow to me, and give me a smile.

I perk up. "Then take me to bed." I sass you, putting my hands on my hips.

"Then come." You say in a low tone, I like the way it sounds.

You hold out your arms, I gladly come to you. Your arms hard and stiff, like a statue. I giggle and snuggle my forehead onto your shoulder.

I feel so strange in your arms once again, it has been two years since you have held me in your arms. It feels so nice.

You take me to my bed, and take off my shoes and socks, I lay down. I wonder has you take off my socks, if you would take off other articles of my clothing. I feel myself get excited just thinking about you touching me.

No. Alucard, I want Samuel.

I shut my eyes, but I hear you begin to leave. I sit up, I do not wish for you to go. I almost panic, "Stay with me." I order. "Alucard… stay…"

I hear you about to sigh, and you return to my side. I smile, happy. I feel your gloved fingers run through my hair. I shut my eyes once more. Your hands feel cool on my scalp. I am taken back, Taken back to the night spent in the attic, I want to back, oh dear god, please Alucard, take me back there. I moan softly your name. "Alucard."

I whimper as your naked hand continues to play with my hair. I feel you pull. It feels good. All of those nights coming back to me.

I moan your name loudly, Oh how it feels so good.

But it seems I must have scared you. I frown, your face in distress, then confusion.

"Why did you stop?" I ask. Your jaw drops.

"You're tired Integra." You say, backing away. I feel a pain in my chest as you back away and deny me.

"Don't back away from me!" I exclaim. You freeze at my words.

"I hurt you." You say. But it did not hurt Alucard. It was wonderful.

I smirk, "No, if felt good." I say, I start to crawl towards you, I reach for your belt buckle.

"No! Master!" Your voices booms, I jump at the sound. I whimper as you take my hands away. I feel hurt.

Him, now you?

My chest hurts, not even you want me. Not even my own servant wants me. My eyes begin to water.

"I'm.. I'm sorry…" You say quietly.

"Do.. Do I disgust you?" I ask, I look down at the covers in my lap.

"No!" You say. "I just…" You trail off. "What is going on Integra?" You ask.

Oh god.

"Why are you out so late? Why are you gone all the time? I smell him on you, I hear you talking to him on the phone. And now he's getting you high! Who is he?" Your voice load.

Guilt. Guilt over takes me. I can't keep this from you any longer. You must know. But I cannot be honest.

"His name is Samuel." I answer. I hear you gasp. I look up at you.

"Are you courting this man?" You ask.

I don't know myself.

"No!" My eyes go wide."We are just friends. He's my business partner." I explain.

"A business partner that gets you high?"

I hang my head in shame.

"We are just friends Alucard." I say again"We just have fun together." I shrug. "He makes me happy." I look up at you.

"I see."

"Which is why I want you tonight…" I say. "I want you, I am lonely." I admit.

"What good will that do master?" you say, "What use would it be to use me?"

"Your right." I say empty.

What am I thinking?

"It's not right yo use you like that." I cup my face with my hands. "I'm sorry!" I cry.

I see your eyes soften, "No, Master." You sit next to me. You uncover my face. "Master…It's all right, I promise." You wrap your arms around me, you hold my head against your chest. I feel tears roll down my cheek, I get your coat wet with my tears.

I feel ill with myself, my high wearing off, I slow come to my senses. I have betrayed you, betrayed Samuel, and lied to you. I am so confused in your arms. I want to vomit from guilt. I am an evil temptress damned to hell for my actions. I deserve it.

You lay us down gently. You hold me tight in your arms. My heart races. I do not deserve you. I have broken your heart, lied, and cheated, yet you stay by my side. Some call that loyalty, I call it stupidity.

My ignorant loyal dog.

To be continued...