He sat on a bench in the garden outside his house, enjoying the warmth of the summer sun on his face. At the sound of soft footsteps, he turned to see her walking towards him. Her delicate features were highlighted by the sun; her mouth perfectly shaped, her cheeks with a touch of pink. Her dark brown hair lay loose around her shoulders, just the way he liked it.
She tenderly gazed at him and when she smiled, his heart beat faster as it always did in her presence. Wordlessly, she sat down next to him and took his hand into her own, her skin impossibly soft and smooth. She leaned against his shoulder and a sigh escaped her lips. He ran his finger over the gold ring on her left hand and his heart swelled with love for her, his wife. He wanted to stay in that moment for days, feeling her warm body against his, listening to her breathe in and out… just the two of them, together. He closed his eyes, inhaled her sweet scent, and heard her whisper, "I love you."
~~OOO~~
Frederick stood outside Kellynch Hall's game larder recalling his dream from last night. It had felt so startlingly real that when he awoke, he reached out to find Anne next to him; upon discovering only emptiness, his heart reeled at the magnitude of his disappointment.
After she broke their engagement eight years ago, he tried to forget her and believed it to be done, but he had been very mistaken. Since coming to Kellynch, his thoughts and dreams about her had increased rapidly. He had told himself that her power with him was gone forever, but last night's dream (and the equally vivid dream two days ago, and the one last week…) proved quite the opposite.
To make matters worse, he knew she no longer held any tender feelings for him. When he arrived at Kellynch, Sophia mentioned that Anne had claimed only a slight acquaintance with him — as if their engagement had never happened! At the time, the discovery wounded him more than he cared to admit. Then at his first dinner with the Musgroves, he was vexed to find her absent; she used the weak excuse of caring for her injured nephew to stay away, even though the boy's own mother left him behind. When they finally did meet, she barely met his eyes and said nothing more than a forced "Good morning." Finally, two days ago he had pulled that troublesome Walter Musgrove off her back and she fled the room without so much as a thank you.
Sophia told him at breakfast that Anne would be calling at one o'clock; determined to avoid her, he left the house before she arrived, but there were limited places on the grounds for him to see. The estate offered many picturesque locations, but he refused to visit the best ones due to the painful memories attached to them, in particular the man-made lake, tall oak grove, and orangery. Only a few sights remained, the game larder being one of them.
He stepped inside the octagonal building and saw many braces of pheasants hanging to dry from the ceiling, including the two he brought back after hunting with Charles Musgrove yesterday. Hares hung next to the birds, while the rails attached to the walls were draped with venison that had been seasoned thoroughly with ground pepper. The larder was solidly built of grey stone, with large windows and high ceilings. It made a quiet if strange refuge, but after a short time inside, the smell began to overwhelm him.
He decided to next go to that ridiculous part of the grounds where Sir Walter's father had erected a Chinese pagoda and Greek temple next to each other. As he started walking, he saw Samuel waving his arms and running up to him with a pale and strangely guilty countenance. Upon reaching him, the man knuckled his forehead and stood silently but anxiously, accustomed to speaking to an officer only when spoken to.
"Mr. Lewis, do you have something to report?"
"Yes, sir. Mrs. Croft's guest, Miss Elliot is… she is took poorly, sir."
"What do you mean? And where is Mrs. Croft?"
"Mrs. Croft has not returned from Crewkherne yet. Please come quickly, sir."
Frederick followed Samuel directly into the drawing room where he saw Anne draped across the sofa. Her face was flushed, her eyes closed and her breathing shallow.
"Good God!" He rushed over and knelt down. On the ground next to her sat a copper basin with a small amount of foul liquid inside. He took her limp hand and felt the shock of their first contact in over eight years.
At his touch, Anne's eyes fluttered open. It took a few moments for her to recognise him and then her eyes, which had a hazy quality to them, brightened.
"Frederick," she said with a tender smile. Her use of his Christian name took him by surprise, but more pressing than that, he noticed that her breath smelled strongly of drink.
Turning to Samuel and Joe, who stood near the door with frightened faces, he asked gravely, "Is she drunk?"
Samuel shifted his feet nervously. "Yes, sir."
Frederick knew Anne was not a drinker. She never consumed more than a third of her wine glass at dinner, so she would not have brought this upon herself. "What happened?"
"You see, sir, Miss Elliot came to call on Mrs. Croft, but she and the Admiral have not come back yet so we was being hospitable. We offered refreshments and found out she has never tried grog."
"And you thought it a good idea to give her some?"
Samuel looked down, trembling slightly. "Yes, sir… and some other drinks too — Dog's Nose, Admiral's Flip, Bumbo…"
Samuel's gaze drifted to the sofa table behind Anne, where Frederick counted over a dozen partially emptied glasses. He turned back to the men, who shrunk further into the doorway upon seeing his angry glare. Though Frederick did not have a reputation for flogging, Samuel and Joe were both sure he would charge them with neglect of duty and have them rigged to some makeshift grating.
"What were you thinking?" Frederick exclaimed, omitting the curse that almost followed before he remembered Anne's presence.
"We — we didn't know, sir," Joe stammered. "The glasses wasn't even half full, and Mrs. Croft can drink a bottle of wine in one sitting…"
"So you thought a gentlewoman who has never lived on a man-of-war can drink liquor like a sailor?"
Joe swallowed and whispered, "We are very sorry, sir."
A slight gasp from Anne drew Frederick's attention back to her. As he checked her pulse and the temperature of her forehead, the front door knocker sounded and Samuel returned with a folded note for Frederick. It was from Sophia, who said that the gig had been upset, causing one of the wheels to crack, and she and the Admiral were waiting for a new wheel. She begged Miss Elliot's forgiveness but they would have to postpone their tenant visits, and suggested that Frederick find a way to take her to Uppercross.
He knew he could not return her to the cottage in her present condition. "She will need to be brought upstairs so she can sleep it off."
"Of course, sir."
The men moved towards Anne but Frederick stood up, rising to his full six feet in height yet somehow seeming even taller as he stared down at them.
"No. I shall do it myself. You two have done quite enough already. Clean up those glasses and this basin and do not let me see your faces again today." Frederick was not worried that they might think his suggestion improper, for they were far too concerned about their own well-being. They quickly gathered the items and left.
Frederick removed his great coat and knelt back down. "Miss Elliot, I must apologise for this abominable treatment by the servants. I will bring you upstairs so you can rest."
"'Miss Elliot.' Why must you be so formal?" She slurred.
He wondered what she meant, then remembered she had called him Frederick as she had done eight years ago. She was clearly delirious from the alcohol and possibly confused between then and now.
Lifting her with ease, he walked towards the staircase. He was conscious of her head tilting up and her eyes staring at him, their faces separated by only a few inches. Her breath warmed his chin and he thought if he just lowered his head, their lips would meet… He cleared that thought and concentrated on the task at hand. If he looked at her, he would lose all self-control so he kept his gaze firmly ahead of him.
She lowered her eyes and moved a hand to the lapel of his green tailcoat, gently brushing it with her fingers. Then she rested her head against his chest, took a deep breath and sighed.
"You smell so nice."
He tripped on a step and mumbled an apology. The momentary loss of balance made her instinctively grab the top of his arm. She squeezed it a few times and murmured appreciatively.
He entered one of the many family bedchambers that were not in use, gently placed her on the bed and arranged the counterpane to cover her.
"Are you comfortable?" He asked.
She nodded and he was about to take his leave when she suddenly reached for his hand, startling him with the unexpected yet pleasant contact.
"Stay with me."
He felt the pressure of her hand on his. She pulled him in and he allowed himself to step closer. He had never seen her so forward and rather liked it, but reminded himself that the alcohol was talking. The real Anne was far too proper to suggest such a thing.
"Stay with me," she repeated. "I love you."
His heart stopped. She sounded so earnest, or was he imagining it? He wanted to believe her, to stay and take her into his arms and press his lips against hers… He looked at her, barely conscious, eyes half-closed, unaware of what she was saying.
"I must go."
His voice was low and rough as he struggled to suppress his desire, and at the harsh sound she dropped his hand and turned her head away from him.
"I understand."
The profound sadness in her voice tore at his heart. His mind was in confusion.
"You are not yourself, Miss Elliot. After a few hours of sleep, you will feel better. I will fetch you a glass of water — water will help — and have Mrs. Croft's maid check on you every hour. Is there anything else I can get for you before I leave?"
She made no response. He peered over to look at her face and saw she was asleep. He straightened the counterpane again and checked the urge to stroke her hair and kiss her on the cheek.
"I love you too, Anne," he whispered before drawing the bed curtains closed.
~~END OF CHAPTER~~