When Anne awoke, she felt as though she had been thrown out of a carriage and then run over for good measure. She tried to sit up but felt dizzy; her body ached and her head throbbed painfully.
Where am I?
Pulling aside a bed curtain, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark room as the only light came from the fireplace. When she could see well enough to look around, everything seemed unfamiliar at first, but then she recognised Mary's former mahogany dressing table and cheval glass in the far corner. The memories came flooding back. Kellynch Hall. Drinks. Frederick. A dreadful feeling came over her. Had she really asked Frederick to stay with her in the bedchamber? Had she told him she loved him and had he responded "I must go"? She knew the mortifying answer. Her head throbbed harder. She had never consumed so much alcohol and the after-effects were new to her. Placing her head in her hands, she rubbed her temples and felt a little better.
When she looked around again, she saw a glass of water on a nearby table. She had not realised how thirsty she was and drank it down greedily. As she was about to look for a candle, the door opened slowly, letting in more light.
"Miss Elliot, you are awake." It was Sophia. She held a candle and lit another one for Anne. "Please allow me to apologise for not being here to receive you, and to tell you how sorry Admiral Croft and I are that this happened. The wheel on the gig broke and — regardless, I am so sorry. How are you feeling?"
"I am much better, thank you. Please do not blame the servants. They did not mean any harm."
In the candlelight, Anne could see that Sophia did blame them but she simply nodded. "It is four o'clock now. We are about to have dinner. Please join us; you must be hungry."
Anne was indeed hungry but could not remain and face Frederick again. She had acted very improperly, so bold and forward and unlike her usual self, and he had rejected her. With their shared acquaintances, she would not be able to avoid him forever, but perhaps she might manage a week's absence by finding excuses to skip dinners at the Great House.
"I thank you, Mrs. Croft, but I would like to return to Uppercross immediately."
"Immediately? No, you must stay overnight. Frederick already sent a note to the cottage telling them you are indisposed and requesting a few of your things." Sophia gestured to a small trunk by the bed. "I can have a tray sent up if you prefer to eat here."
The idea of remaining under the same roof as Frederick was intolerable. "Thank you, but I must leave right away. Please, I feel quite well enough to travel. Is the gig repaired? Might you take me yourself?"
Sophia bowed her head. "As you wish, Miss Elliot. I will have the gig ready in a quarter of an hour, if that suits you."
"Yes, thank you. Will you please make my excuses to Fre… Captain Wentworth and Admiral Croft for not saying goodbye? I am afraid I am not fit for company."
Feeling much sympathy for Anne, Sophia readily agreed to her request, then left to talk to her husband and arrange for the carriage. Anne lit another candle to see better and walked to the cheval glass to check her reflection. What she saw only increased her mortification. Her complexion was spotty, her eyes puffy, and some sections of her hair had unpinned while others had loose strands sticking out in every direction. Had she looked like this when Frederick carried her upstairs?
If he thought I looked wretched at our first meeting, what must he have thought today?
Something on her dress caught her eye and she stepped closer to the mirror. Below her neck, a brown patch of dried liquid had stained her white muslin dress. It must have happened when she unceremoniously emptied her stomach into the copper basin, and Frederick had no doubt seen it. Her embarrassment was now complete. She half hoped the ground would open up and swallow her whole.
She retrieved a clean gown from the trunk and changed into it, then started re-pinning her hair. When Sophia returned, they went downstairs together, and with each step Anne dreaded the possibility of meeting Frederick. Thankfully, she saw no one and quickly made her escape.
~~OOO~~
"What an eventful day," Admiral Croft remarked as he cut into the roast venison at dinner, which had been delayed until Sophia returned. Samuel and Joe had told him every detail as they begged him not to turn them out. "First the gig broke a wheel and once we were finally on our way, the horse lost a shoe! And then this most upsetting business with Miss Elliot. I wish you had allowed me to speak to her before she left, Sophy. I must go to the cottage tomorrow to apologise in person."
"Perhaps you might wait a few days, my dear," Sophia said. "I dare say she is embarrassed about today. She barely spoke to me in the gig except to say 'Thank you' and 'Good day'."
"Phoo! Phoo! What has she to be embarrassed about? The fault lies entirely in my hands; I am ashamed at the behaviour of my men. Although…" he looked slyly at Frederick sitting next to him. "I heard she addressed you by your Christian name, Frederick. Perhaps that is what vexes her — that her tendre for you was revealed. Were you aware of it? I knew about the Miss Musgroves, certainly I think everyone does, but never suspected Miss Elliot too. You seem to have quite the effect on the young women in this neighbourhood."
"You are mistaken, sir. Miss Elliot does not have a tendre for me," Frederick said firmly, though he was not entirely convinced of his words. He understood Anne's general embarrassment and wish to depart Kellynch Hall but regretted it extremely. He had spent the last few hours recalling every look, word and touch they had exchanged over the past three weeks (of which there had been precious few), and wondered if he had misinterpreted her behaviour and if there might be some truth to what she said today. He needed to see her again to better inform his thoughts.
"Of course she has a tendre for you!" Admiral Croft exclaimed. "What other explanation can there be when a young woman calls an unrelated, single gentleman by his Christian name, unbidden no less?"
"Perhaps your theory is sound, but you must remember that Miss Elliot was intoxicated. She was not in her normal frame of mind; she did not know what she was saying."
Admiral Croft laughed heartily. "On the contrary, her intoxication only confirms the truth of it! Have you never heard the saying in vino veritas? Though in this case, it would be more accurate to say vino, brandy, rum and gin, ha ha!"
"I am aware that liquor makes men speak more truthfully…"
"Whether man or woman, we are all human!" Admiral Croft cried. "I am no surgeon, but I have often observed that while the amounts needed to produce an effect vary from person to person, the consequences of too much liquor are similar for either sex, just like the effects of coffee or laudanum. Did you know, one time…" and then his voice died down, for he was about to tell an amusing story about Sophia but did not think she would appreciate her brother hearing it.
"I am quite of your opinion, my dear," Sophia said. "Many years ago when we sailed together on the Jupiter, at that first dinner you gave, the master gunner's wife drank too much of your capital claret. Afterwards, she told her husband that she hated his pigtail, which he prized as if it were his very own child. The poor man! It brought him so low."
Sophia and Admiral Croft's words nurtured the small spark of hope inside Frederick. However, he knew more than they did, and there was a big difference between Anne using his Christian name and her saying she loved him. He dared not confuse his hopes with reality.
"But might there not be cases where in vino veritas does not apply?" He said aloud.
"I would never claim to speak for every instance," Admiral Croft admitted. "In nature, with enough effort one can find an example contrary to the general rule, but I have seen my fair share of drunkenness and would wager one thousand guineas that Miss Elliot spoke exactly as she felt."
PAdmiral Croft paused to eat some venison, then cast a serious eye at Frederick. "You have been sailing close-hauled for long enough, as it were. Will you not spread more canvass and make an offer to one of these nice young ladies?"
"I fully intend to do so, sir," Frederick replied. He needed to know Anne's feelings and there was only one way to find out for certain. He would call on her tomorrow.
~~END OF CHAPTER~~