I recover from my illness quickly, I am only out for week. My clothes sag on my body from the weight loss from throwing up so much. You stay by my side through the whole ordeal. Not budging unless I tell you to get me something, even helping me bathe, not that Sam would find out. He wouldn't, i'll be sure of that.
Today, I am to meet Samuel's Brother, Jacks this evening. I look in the mirror in the bathroom. My face thinned from illness, and dark circles incompass my eyes. I look at my breasts and ribs, then my hips, my hip bones poke out from the rest of me. No hip garth, strange really, an adult woman with no figure. No breasts, no hips. But I did have strong legs, and broad shoulders, giving the illusion I had a figure. I wonder for a moment how you or Samuel could have me attractive. I have nothing attractive to look at. Although Samuel says otherwise. I suppose I am just being over critical of my appearance. I turn to the rack of clothes behind me. I put on a white button up under shirt, with a black V neck pullover sweater a red ascot. Then I put on a thick wool skirt. Then a pair of thick pantyhose. I slip on my black boots. I look in the mirror one last time. My clothes swallow my slender from whole, aside from my shoulders. My most prominent feature, aside from my M shaped cowlick. My eyes look so dull, duller than usual. I blame the sickness. I flatten my sweater, and leave my closet. I get my wallet, then I take a gift box, wrapped in a red ribbon. It's for Constance. A porcelain doll, with curly auburn hair, and pink frilly dress. I tried to look for one that looked like her, but it was hard to find one in her skin tone. But I'm sure she'll love it. I go down stairs and find Walter waiting for me, hands behind his back. A pleasant smile on his lips. I smile slightly back.
"Good evening, Sir Integra." he greets.
"Good evening Walter." I greet back
"Are you ready to go?" He asks me, I nod. We go out to the car, the cold winter air filling my lungs, it almost hurts. And the car is not yet heated, so the drive to Samuel's manor was a tad uncomfortable, but I don't mind in the end, I'll be in warm surroundings soon enough.
As Walter pulls up up the circle drive, I see Samuel standing at the front door to greet me, I bid Walter goodbye, and tell him when to get me in the morning, and if there was any emergency to call me immediately. Although I doubt it. Busy season for vampires was over. It was slowly pick up in the spring.
I hug my fiance at the door. He kisses my cheek.
"How do you feel?" He asks, his arms around my waist.
"I feel fine." I smile. "I've been fine for days now." I say, chuckling at his over concern. He pulls away, eyeing the gift box in my hand.
"Who's that for?" he asks.
"Constance." I answer him, "It's a doll."
"Ah, I see." He says, extending his hand to take the gift. I give it to him. He leads me inside. He takes me to the living area. A tall chrismas tree incompasses the corner, it sits tall, and it's covered in silver decorations. It was very pleasant to look at. I then look at the large fireplace, a menorah sits on top of it, along with family pictures. I look at it curiously.
"I thought you didn't practice anymore." I say casually, trying not to offend. He notices where my gaze is.
"It's just a piece of my past, plus my brother is here still, and he still practices, be it, not fully." explains smoothly. He leans down, setting the gift for Connie underneath the Christmas tree. He walks over to me, smiling at me, taking my hand.
"Where is your daughter and brother?" I question.
"In the dining room." he says, then gestures towards dining area. I follow suit. I hear the laughter of a child, and a deep voice follows the child's cheerful giggle. We enter the dining room. I see his brother, blonde, short mustache, slender, he wears a tan suit, something like my father would wear, I find it adoring in a way. His brother turns when he hears us enter the dining room. His eyes are green, like my father's too. Even his skin tone was like my father's. Hm. Was I looking at a reincarnation? His brother stands, walking towards me, his smile big, he extends his hand out to shake mine.
"Hello, nice to meet you!" he says cheerfully, shaking my hand, he seems a bit abrasive in how he shakes my hand, nearly rattling me. "My name is Jacks, Jacks Zimmerman." He introduces himself.
"Hi, Integra Hellsing." I say to him back, letting go of his hand. Jacks looks at me smiling, then looks at his brother.
"So this is your fiance?" He asks him. Samuel nods, behind me, taking off my coat for me, I let him.
"Yes I am." I say, peering up at Jacks, he's tall, taller than Samuel. He looks back at me.
"Well, welcome to the family." He says to me. His teeth sparkle like Samuel's. I feel a little tug on my pants. I look down to find a little girl wanting my attention. I smile at Connie brightly, then pick her up.
"Hello, little one." I greet Connie. I give her a kiss on the cheek. She kisses me back.
"Hello, Integra!" She says, pronouncing the R like a W.
"I got you a gift." I say, she begins to struggle, getting excited.
"I wanna see! I wanna see!" She squeals, trying to get free from my arms.
"Hold it, young lady, you'll have to wait until christmas morning." Samuel interjects.
"But Uncle Jacks already gave me his present!" She protests. She continues to squirm in my arms until I relented and let her down. She runs to the table, and picks something up in her chair, then brings it to me. I see Jacks have smug smile on his face. Connie shows me a doll, similar to the one I got her. I feel a little twinge in my lip. The doll had the same auburn hair, and the same pink dress. Wait, it is the same doll! I feel myself become annoyed, but I say nothing.
"It's lovely." I compliment. Putting on a fake smile.
Very beautiful." I add. The young girl laughs, and hugs the doll tightly.
"She hasn't put it down since she got it." Jack's jokes. I give him an annoyed look, he didn't pick up on it, thankfully. I stand up.
"I'm glad she likes it." I say, looking at my fiance's brother, and my future brother-in-law. He smiles, proud. I wince. Connie goes to sit down at the table again, doll in lap.
"Why don't we sit down?" Samuel suggests. Jacks and I both nod, and sit at the long dinner table. It's like mine, it could seat 8 people. Samuel sit at the head, while I sit to his left, and jacks sits to his right. Jack's and Connie were closer to him than I am. I don't like this fact, I want to switch posts with Jacks, but I do not press the issue.
"So, how did you two meet?" Jacks asks me and Sam. I answer first.
"It was at an event that one of my colleagues was hosting." I state. Samuel smiles, looking as if he is reminiscing. "I was in a green dress, he was smoking a cigar, very typical like romance novels." I say sarcastically. Jacks just smiles empty at me.
"Do you still have it?" Sam asks.
"Have what?"
"The dress."
"I do, but the back is ripped." I snear, but in a playful tone. Jacks gives us a weird look.
"I passed out, " I explain. "I couldn't breath, so he had to rip open my dress so I could."
Jacks looks at Samuel, then at me , then back at Samuel. Sam laughs, nearly coughing, my eyes smile at him.
"Well," Samuel says, continuing the story. "She became hot, passed out in front of her colleague. And he came and got me, so I took care of the situation." he smiles smugly. I gaze at Connie, she is in her own little world, playing with the doll her uncle gave her.
"So, what happened next?" Jack asks, nervously, not sure where the story was going.
"Well I wake up, accuse him of being a creep, and he gives me his number." I shrug, smiling. Jacks blinks, trying to comprehend the story we just told. He shakes his head.
"I see," Jacks says slowly. "That's very, unusual." He says, his voice quiet. He stares past his niece. Then looks down at the table. "Anyways!" he snaps out of his odd mood. "Do you have done any wedding planning?" he asks us.
"No." Sam says slowly, a bit of shame in his voice. "We haven't the time." he explains.
"I've been looking at wedding dresses." I say. Both Jacks and Connie perk up at my mentioning of my dress hunting.
"You didn't tell me," Samuel says.
"I want it to be a surprise." I tell him, trying to give him a smile, but he does not smile back. I feel a slight twinge in my chest, did I really upset him?
"I suppose." He says dropping the issue. I cannot help but feel upset myself, I should let him be a part of it. This is a partnership. Silence feel over us before I chose to speak up again.
"So, Jacks, tell me, what is it you do?" I ask. His eyes go wide, then he smiles.
"I own a small holdings company, I own multiple properties." He says. How curious, I remember Samuel telling me he shared his wealth with his siblings. Now, I wonder how could that be justified. Many Samuel is just doing his family duty, and sharing the wealth of the family business.
"Is that so?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "Where are these properties?" I ask.
"Seattle, Denver, Chicago." He answers, causally. "I am solely responsible for over 30,000 working class people." He adds. I nod, maybe he is a responsible man, maybe he is as dutiful as his younger brother. Jacks smiles brightly, "I like it." He says simply. His green eyes glittering. I look down at Connie again, she still plays with the doll in her lap.
"I'm glad you like it." I say, blinking slowly. He nods, then turns to Samuel, putting down his hand, next to Samuel's shoulder.
"Have you talked to father?" Jacks asks Sam. I see Sam tense, his jaw clenches, his eyes go wide.
"No." Samuel says, in a low, almost inaudible tone. I can see pain in his eyes. He clenches his fists, and I see Connie tense from her father's reaction. I scoot my chair closer to her.
"He would like to speak with you." Jacks says, in a soft voice, trying not to offend his brother even more than he already had.
"Well, if he would like to speak with me, he knows my address." I hear the anger bubbling in his voice. I see the wrinkles around his eyes, crease saverly. "Let's not talk about this okay? Not in front of the child." Sam says. Connie blinks, sitting the doll on her lap.
I want to ask him questions, but I do not press the action. I sit, quietly, waiting for the chef to bring us dinner.
"Okay." Jacks says quietly. Clasping his hands together. I wonder for moment if Connie even knows her grandfather, I wonder if he has even held his own grandchild. His only grandchild. I know from what Samuel has told me, his father did not want children. I always wondered why he would have them if he did not want them, then again, he had an organization, and needed an heir. Or maybe it was like in my father's case, an accident. My mother had been a worker of pleasure, and my father had fallen in love with her, and he married her. He had no intention on having children with her, but it happened.
The chef product out our food. Rich meats, and vegetables, breads, and delicate sweets. Connie, of course, went for the sweets first, until I stop her. I grab her tiny hands, and make her pick up out some steamed carrots and roast. I cut the meat into tiny pieces for her. For all intents and purposes, I am this child's mother, and that is something I have come to accept fully in the past months. All I need to do is sign a few papers, and I will officially be her guardian. Sam and Jacks give me a strange look.
"What?" I ask.
"You don't need to do that." Samuel says, gesturing to me cutting a piece of meat for the little girl next to me.
"She can!" Connie protests, I smile to myself at her little comment.
"It's all right dear," I say. "I don't mind." I smile at Sam. He smiles wearily back.
"Okay," he says, trying to make sense of the circumstance.
After I finish cutting up Connie's meal, I get my own. The rich meat melts in my mouth, and I hum pleasantly. I see samuel giving me a look of appreciation from the corner of my eye.
"This is great!" Jacks exclaims, eating his meal. His voice breaks through my thoughts, and for that I am gratefully annoyed.
"I'm glad you like it." Sam slowly nods. Once the meal was over, we all dismiss ourselves, Jacks and Sam take Connie but to bed, while I wait by myself. Once Samuel came back down the stair, jacks is not with him, we are alone. He gives me a sheepish smile.
"Sorry about tonight." He chuckles shyly. A crease forms between my brows.
"Sorry about what?" I ask, curiously.
"My brother, he doesn't have much of a filter." He scratches the back of his head. He then places his hands on my shoulders, then he slowly wraps me into a hug. I hug him back, my fingers touching the warm skin under his shirt. Mmm, he is a very comfortable person to hold. His muscles weren't hard and stiff like yours, Alucard. They are human, soft but firm, warm and inviting. I could get lost in his arms. Samuel and I go to his bedroom. He goes into the bathroom, and I sit on his bed, taking off my shoes, and my sweater, leaving my button up exposed. I lay the sweater on the stone floor. Sam comes out of the bathroom, his suit jacket left in the bathroom, and his tie undone. He snakes on the bed, the satin sheet fill his hands. I curl up, my back on the headboard.
"Is jacks in bed?" I ask. Samuel nods, he then sighs loudly.
"So is Connie." he adds.
"So we are all alone?" I ask. He nods. My hand sloths over to his, my fingers intwinging with his. A smile sneaks up on his lips. He
"Do you want to go to bed?" I ask.
"No." His husky voice taking over, and making me tremble with desire. I shake it off.
"Can we talk about something?" I ask, scooting in closer to him, he does the same.
"Sure." He says.
"Why do you not want to talk to your father?" I ask.
"Because he's a piece of shit!" he lifts up his head to peer at me, his eyes angry, and he lets go of my hand. "He is a horrible human being, and he doesn't deserve to be a part of my family!" he hisses at me. I want to get angry, but if feel as it would only make the situation first.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I say calmly. I reach out to touch him, but he pushes my hand away.
"Don't." His voice hard, and stern. His eyes filled with animosities toward me. I am utterly shocked, he had never been so harsh towards me. I put my hand against my chest, and I slowly slink away from him on the bed. He takes notices, and his eyes fill with remorse. He comes towards me. "I'm sorry," he reaches out towards me. My eyes still wide. As strong as I am, if someone you love is angered with you, it hurts and scares you, regardless of how strong willed you are. Samuel takes me into his arms, I let him, I am still stiff. I slowly wrap my arms around him. "I didn't mean to come so harsh, dear, it is a sensitive topic for me, you must understand." He apologies to me. I don't say anything back, but nuzzle my nose into the curve of his neck. His hand rubs my back up and down.
"Don't do that again." I say sternly.
"I promise, I won't." he says gently. His tone finally relaxing me.
"Good."
We lay down on his bed, our bodies mend together, our lips touching with hot breath in between. This all seemed to happen in a blink of an eye. We always do this, we always end up in a hot mess of limbs and lips. But we never went further than grinding and small intimate touches. I feel his remorseful lips worship my neck and jaw. I tremble and quake at his touch. His hands hard on my hips. He is a control freak, that I knew. He loves to control my body, my movements, my heart beat, and breath. He sticks my fingers in his mouth, sucking them one by one. I never thought finger sucking could be a turn on, I am proven utterly wrong. I moan, and writh. He is on top of me now, I look up at him, adoring eyes, wondering what his next plan of action is. He pulls off his shirt, his toned body mine to take in. I hum in delight at this.
"You're beautiful." I tell him. I can see him flush at my words, and I am satisfied I can do that. He is after all, a shy man. Underneath his fausd of being overly confidant. I knew this for awhile now, and I just love him more because it.
"Look who's talking, my love." He says, smirking. I chuckle, blushing. My greedy hands snake up his stomach, to his chest, and my hands try to reach his neck, but alas he is too far away. He looks down at me now, he eyes heavy with lid. And in a soft voice he speaks a command.
"Take off your shirt."
My eyes go wide. Oh dear, oh my. I slowly unbutton my shirt, but I do not open it. I let him do it, I want him to reveal his prize. His rough fingertips take the cloth of my shirt and open up it the rest of the way, revealing my bra and stomach. His eyes look up me with deep affection, a gentle smile takes his lips. His fingertips trace my breasts, and underneath my bra, then the hard line of my stomach.
"Beautiful, Beautiful, beautiful, absolutely beautiful." He speaks softly. Then he leans down, kissing my chest. I hum and moan, I want him to remove my bra, but I do not press it. I let him do what he wants. His fingers continues to trace to and tease. I twitch and my toes curl.
"More," I mange to say. "I want more." I beg.
"Is that so?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Yes!"
"Then I'll give you more." He says, leaning down, kisses me passionately, our lips making a storm of lust and longing. His hand finally on my breasts, I want him to kiss them, give them all the attention I crave. His hands rough, our hips connect. But something is wrong, something in my body is not responding to the stimuli. It is the right conditions, my breasts being fondled, my groin on his groin, shirtless. The only thing that is off is my loins, they are not hot with anticipation. Nothing is happening and I start to panic, my brows furrow, my hands on Samuel's shoulders, I push him off quickly. He gives me a look of worry and confusion, with a dash of hurt.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"I- I don't know." I say, blinking. "I'm not," I pause, "Responding." I say. He gives me a look of concern.
"Okay." He says, slowly. He lays down next to me. "Is there anything I can do?" He asks, twirling a strand of my hair betwixt his fingers.
"Touch me, lower." I suggest, my forehead in a sweat.
"Are you sure?" He asks, scooting closer.
My mind races, what could possible be wrong? This has never happened before. I am very easy to turn on. This issue is completely foreign to me. I almost want to cry, but I stop myself, maybe if he just touches it directly maybe something with spark within me. His finger travel down my stomach, and I hold my breath, this is the first time his going to touch me in such an intimate manner. Oh god, I feel his finger, delicate dance within my folds. But, nothing, no reaction, no blood flow. After five minutes of trying, my pants slowly turn into sobs, and he retracts his finger from my loins. His eyes in utter shock.
"I'm- I'm sorry!" He exclaims, "Did I hurt you?" He says, panic fills his voice.
"No." My voice barely audible from my sobs. "It's not you." I sniffle, trying to contain myself. I feel his arms wrap around me. He rocks me back and forth, trying to comfort me. "I don't know what's wrong with me." I continue, "I don't-"
"Shhhh." he hushes me, He cradles my head, stroking my hair. "It's okay, it's okay." he coos.
What is wrong with me? Why now? Then it clicks. It's you, you are stopping me from enjoying the carnal pleasures from my fiance. It's you! That's why I couldn't go further the first time this happened! I should have known better, I should have… known better.