Chapter 6
"Do you think he's sick?"
"He might be. Should we take him to the doctor?"
Six-year-old Akaashi Keiji was in his bed, his head warm while his body was freezing cold. He shivered, pulling the blanket up to his chin as he watched the household butler and maid talking above him.
"It could be just a cold. We have medicine around here, don't we?"
"Yes. We'll need something to lower his fever."
"How high is his fever?"
"Let me get the thermometer."
Keiji felt sick and heavy.
He sniffled and his hands gripped the sheets.
Where were his mommy and daddy?
"Okay, Keiji. Take this."
Keiji was handed a tiny cup of purple liquid. He swallowed the medicine down and then shivered, the awful taste coating his mouth and running down his throat.
Then, a plastic rod was pushed under his tongue. He struggled against the feeling in a moment of panic but was quickly stopped when a hand touched his head. He froze and glanced up to see the butler looking down at him sympathetically.
"It's just a thermometer, Keiji. It'll be okay."
Keiji blinked at him and then relaxed, focusing his eyes on the white thermometer sticking out of his mouth. The device beeped a few moments later and the maid ripped it from his mouth.
"37.8."
"That's not too high. It must be just a cold."
"You're right. But we'll have to monitor him, right?"
"Yes. Akaashi-sama might be angry if we have to call him while he's away on business."
"You're right." The maid looked at him. "Just get some rest, Keiji. We'll check on you in a bit."
Keiji's lips trembled as he opened them, wanting to beg them to stay. But the two of them turned out the light in his bedroom and left him to lie in his bed, alone. His stomach pricked and churned with nausea and his head felt stuffy. His sight blurred as the tears filled his eyes and a sob escaped his throat.
"I don't feel good," Keiji sobbed, his hands reaching up to scrub at his cheeks. "I'm scared… I'm so scared."
Keiji coughed wetly and hiccupped, unable to control the cries any longer.
"I don't wanna be alone…"
"Daddy? Daddy!"
Tobio had rushed to the couch and pushed on his father's shoulder. His plush fish had long been abandoned by the edge of the hallway, dropping it in a panic when he saw his father collapse onto the ground.
"Daddy, wake up! What's happening?! Daddy!"
Tobio gave his father's shoulder another push but his efforts were in vain. His father remained crumpled on the floor, his hands still clasped to his stomach and his face scrunched up in pain.
When he realized his methods would not work, Tobio sucked in a harsh breath and held it, his lips beginning to tremble. He glanced around the room for something, anything that could help. He paused and reached up to grab at his hair, his brain working into overdrive.
What was it that Daddy said I'm supposed to do if something bad happens? Tobio thought as he tugged on his locks. His gaze landed on his father's cell phone that was resting on the coffee table.
It suddenly clicked in Tobio's mind.
Oh! Right! I'm supposed to call for help!
Tobio hurried over to the phone and picked it up with both hands. He pressed the home button, the screen brightening to life. He swiped his finger on the screen, unlocking it, and then pressed on the phone button at the bottom. His dad had shown him how to get to the call screen on his phone just in case something happened.
Tobio was proud that he had remembered, but now that he was at the call screen, he could not remember what numbers to press.
I… I don't remember who to call, Tobio thought sadly. His lips trembled more as his eyes pricked with frustrated tears. Who do I call?! What do I do?!
Just as he was about to spiral into a panic and break into tears, his drawings on the coffee table caught his eye. Right on the top of the stack was his practice writing of Bokuto's name.
Tobio's eyes widened, remembering the curvy lines of Bokuto's kanji. He quickly looked back at the phone and pressed a few buttons until he made it to his dad's list of contacts. He squinted his eyes as he scanned the different names, none of the characters looking familiar.
Then, he reached a contact with the same character as Bokuto's name.
He bit his lip when he saw a few different characters after the name. He looked back at his paper, comparing the two. It wasn't exactly the same but… he did not have many other options.
Tobio took a deep breath.
And then he pressed on the contact.
The ceiling was mocking him. Bokuto could almost feel it.
He sighed and lolled his head to the side on his pillow, glancing at the red numbers of his alarm clock. The time was close to eleven-thirty in the evening.
Bokuto groaned and rolled back over, pulling the covers over his head. He was exhausted and his eyes were heavy, but his brain would just not shut off tonight.
After seeing Akaashi in that wild state, he felt strange and out of place. He was not sure whether he wanted to lie down or go for a run. The various emotions swirling around in his head made him feel almost sick. He had resolved to talk to Kuroo as soon as he got home, but his wild-haired roommate was out for the evening.
Bokuto sighed and reached up to comb through his smooth hair, the strands loose from his earlier shower. He just needed to rest. He would call Akaashi in the morning and check in on him. No big deal. Maybe he could even call and invite him out to the coffee shop in the morning since they missed their regular meeting time.
Bokuto nodded to himself about the plan and let his eyes close slowly. He could feel his body begin to get heavier and heavier. He was almost on the cusp of sleep—
Until a sharp ring pierced his ears.
Bokuto shot up in bed, startled awake. He fumbled around on his nightstand to grab the loud device.
"Ughh, who the hell is calling so late at—"
Bokuto stopped in his grumbling when Akaashi's name appeared on the caller ID. He gasped lightly and scrambled to answer the phone.
"A-Akaashi?" Bokuto whispered, his voice rough from lack of use.
The line was silent except for a few sounds of shuffling in the background. Bokuto looked at his phone, making sure that he did not hang up, and then put it back to his ear.
"Akaashi, you there?" Bokuto asked.
There was a small squeak. And then, a tiny voice spoke.
"Bu… Ba… Bokuto-san."
Bokuto sat up straighter, his heart fluttering in his chest.
"Tobio?" Bokuto asked.
There was a pause, and Bokuto could picture Tobio nodding.
"Y-Yeah," Tobio answered. His voice sounded shaky and almost scared, and Bokuto felt his heart leap in his throat.
"What's wrong, Tobio? What are you doing up this late?" Bokuto asked. His hands gripped the sheets like a vice, making his knuckles turn white.
"Um… Daddy is… he fell down and…" Tobio gasped in between his words, a few small hiccups in between. "…and he's… he's not getting up!"
Bokuto's blood ran ice cold in his veins.
"What?! He fell?" Bokuto asked.
"I… yeah. He was about to take me to bed wh-when he fell down. Now, he's not getting up," Tobio said. "It… it looks like he has a tummy ache."
Bokuto's brows pinched. "A tummy ache?"
"Yeah. He's holding his tummy and… he looks bad," Tobio said. "I… I don't know what to do!"
The last part of his sentence ended in a tiny wail, the sound breaking Bokuto's heart.
Bokuto threw his sheets off of his body and jumped out of bed, rushing to grab clothes. He balanced the phone on his shoulder as he put on his pants.
"Don't worry, Tobio! I'm heading over there right now, okay?" Bokuto said. "Just stay on the phone and keep talking to me, all right?"
"A-All right," Tobio said.
"Good, good. Just hang in there, okay? I'm on my way!" Bokuto said, throwing a light jacket over his shoulders.
"O-Okay."
Bokuto rushed out of his bedroom and sprinted down the hall of his apartment to the genkan, stuffing his feet into a pair of shoes by the door. He flung the front door open and rushed out into hall towards the stairs. He rushed down the staircase, practically leaping down the flights.
"Okay, Tobio. Go take a look at your daddy. Are his eyes open?" Bokuto asked, rushing out the front door of the complex and out into the cool night air.
There was some light shuffling on the other line. "No. They're closed."
Damn it, Bokuto thought.
"Okay, well… what about his chest? Is it moving at all?" Bokuto asked. He sprinted down the darkened street and crossed at the intersection.
"Hm…" Tobio hummed softly and paused, most likely taking his time to watch. "I-It's moving."
Bokuto huffed out a sigh of relief but did not slow his pace. "That's good, Tobio! Really good."
"It is?" Tobio asked.
Bokuto nodded even though Tobio could not see and turned the corner at the end of the street, breaking out into a sprint.
"Yes, it is! Good. Just keep watching that. If it stops moving, you have to tell me right away, okay?" Bokuto said.
Tobio sniffed hard on the other line and when he spoke, his voice trembled.
"O-Okay."
Bokuto huffed out a breath, thankful that he had been training with his students recently. He grit his teeth and picked up his speed, the phone jostling beside his ear with each heavy step he took.
"Okay, Tobio. I'm almost there. How's your daddy doing?" Bokuto asked.
"Um… his chest is still moving," Tobio said.
"Good! You're doing a great job, little man," Bokuto said with a lilt in his voice.
He hurried past that familiar coffee shop and down the last few blocks towards Akaashi's apartment complex, talking to Tobio about anything and everything. His favorite desserts, his kindergarten class. Anything to keep the little boy calm.
After another turn, Bokuto sprinted the last block to the building. He hurried past the front entrance and quickly made his way up to Akaashi's door.
When he reached the right apartment, he frantically knocked on the door.
"Tobio! I'm at the front door. Can you let me in?" Bokuto asked through the phone.
He heard a clattering sound on the line, and soft footsteps from the other side of the door. He waited, keeping the phone by his ear in case Tobio struggled or needed help.
But within a few moments, the door finally unlocked and a stressed, red-eyed Tobio appeared.
Bokuto sighed in relief and hung up his phone. He quickly tucked it into his pocket and knelt down to Tobio, putting his hands on his shoulders.
"Are you okay, Tobio?" Bokuto asked, looking him over. Tobio nodded, his eyes starting to shine. Bokuto rubbed his arms comfortingly and nodded in response. "Okay, take me to your daddy."
Tobio nodded once and then quickly turned to run back into the living room. Bokuto was right behind him, not even bothering to remove his shoes.
When they reached the living room, Bokuto's heart nearly leapt out of his chest.
Akaashi was on the floor with his hands pressed against his stomach and a light sheen of sweat coating his forehead.
"Akaashi!" Bokuto yelled, hurrying to Akaashi's side. He fell on his knees next to him and gently touched the unconscious man's shoulders to move him onto his back. "Akaashi? Akaashi! Can you hear me?"
Akaashi did not respond but his face tightened and a small groan escaped his lips. Bokuto eased on his shoulders and glanced down at Akaashi's hands that were clasped at his stomach. He swallowed nervously and then reached down to gently press his hands on his belly.
Akaashi whimpered at the pressure, his face contorting in pain. Bokuto immediately let up on the pressure, wincing at the sound. What in the world was going on? Was he really sick?
He glanced to the coffee table and spotted the bottle of liquor that he had seen earlier that night. He picked up the bottle and held it in his hands, noticing how empty the bottle had been.
Was Akaashi just drunk?
No, that did not explain Akaashi's stomach pain.
Unless…
He turned to look at Tobio, who stood by with a nervous look on his face.
"Hey, Tobio," Bokuto called, grabbing the boy's attention. "What was your daddy doing before he fell? Do you remember?"
Tobio looked startled for a moment but he quickly nodded. He pulled on Bokuto's arm, trying to get him to stand. Bokuto followed the boy quietly, throwing a nervous glance over his shoulder to see if Akaashi was still breathing.
"He took some medicine because he got a scrape on his face," Tobio said, tugging Bokuto into the kitchen. He pointed to one of the counters. "Um… I think the medicine is up there."
Bokuto spotted the pill bottle and snatched it up, his stomach bottoming out when he felt how empty it was. He read the label, seeing that it was extra-strength pain medication. He glanced to Tobio, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest.
"Do… Do you know how many he took?" Bokuto asked softly.
Tobio's hands flitted to the hem of his pajama shirt. "A lot. I think."
Bokuto almost dropped the pill bottle.
Shit! He thought, rushing back into the living room and by Akaashi's side.
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
He scrambled for his phone and yanked it from his pocket before turning Akaashi back onto his side. Akaashi groaned at the contact, his hands moving to press harder at his stomach.
"Okay, Tobio. I think I know what's wrong. I'm going to call for help now, okay?" Bokuto said after he had dialed the number for emergency services.
"Wha-What's wrong with him?!" Tobio asked, rushing forward to clutch onto Bokuto's arm.
Bokuto patted his head with his free hand. "Don't worry, Tobio. As long as help arrives soon, your daddy will be okay."
His phone immediately clicked through.
"What is your emergency?"
Bokuto's jaw quivered as he spoke.
"Uh, yes. I think… I think my friend might've overdosed."
"The night's rest didn't seem to help."
"Yes, he does look worse. Do you have the thermometer?"
Keiji could barely keep his eyes open as his heavy body seemed to sink further and further into his bed. Each breath he took came out in thick rasps, making his chest burn and ache.
He just wanted his mom and dad. Where were they? Why weren't they here?
"Here it is. Okay, Keiji. Open up."
The cool plastic rod entered his mouth again and wiggled its way underneath his tongue. He did not put up a fight this time. His body was too weak.
It was a longer pause this time before the device beeped loudly. When the maid took it from his mouth, she gasped.
"39.9."
"That's really high!"
"What should we do? Should we call the family doctor?"
"No. This is much more serious. I think we need to take him to the hospital."
The hospital? Keiji tried to shake his head. He didn't want to go to the hospital.
He was scared.
"The hospital?! But what about Akaashi-sama?"
"We'll have to call him on the way."
The next thing he knew, Keiji was being hoisted into the air. He scrambled to hold on to something, terrified that he would be dropped.
"All right, Keiji. We need to take you to the hospital, okay?"
Panicked tears sprung from Keiji's eyes and he shook his head against the butler's shoulder.
"Please, no!" Keiji wailed. "I don't want to go! I'm scared!"
"We have to, Keiji," the butler responded as they descended the staircase of their home. "Your fever is too high. It's too dangerous to let it go without treatment."
"I'll take the medicine!" Keiji protested, squeezing the butler's jacket. "I'll do it!"
"I'm sorry, Keiji. But our medicine isn't enough."
Keiji squeaked and then whimpered, realizing that he had lost. He buried his head into the butler's chest and sobbed, scared out of his mind.
"I want Mom and Dad…" Keiji whimpered softly, his voice muffled by the butler's jacket. "I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go…"
The butler ignored his cries, however, and hurried them out to his car. He placed Keiji in the back seat, forcefully tugging his jacket out of the boy's grip. Keiji cried harder, his hands feeling empty and cold. He curled up into a ball on the back seat, pushing his face into the leather seat.
Keiji felt the car rumble to life and he shifted slightly as the butler took sharp turns. He curled up tighter, his body beginning to shake uncontrollably. His tears fell down his cheek and to his ear, covering the seat. He shivered at how cold it felt.
He wanted his Mom and Dad.
He repeated it like a mantra, hoping that at any moment, those two familiar faces would arrive and hold him.
But Keiji, even at the age of six, knew better.
His parents weren't coming for him.
They would never come…
The car slowed to a stop, Keiji almost falling off of the edge of the seat. He pulled his head up from the seat with a wet tug, his hair slick with sweat and tears. The back door opened and he was scooped up again from the seat.
He reached up to hold onto the butler's jacket but startled when the material was different underneath his fingers. He glanced up to see a woman in a green shirt with a facemask covering her mouth.
"It'll be okay, little guy. I'm a doctor and I'm here to help you," the woman said.
Keiji whimpered, feeling his hands clench in the woman's shirt.
Where did their family butler go? Did he just leave?
Keiji felt more tears run down his cheeks.
He had never felt so…
…alone.
The ride to the hospital was eerily quiet.
When the paramedics arrived at Akaashi's apartment, they quickly checked his pulse and then immediately put him on a stretcher. Bokuto requested that they ride in the ambulance with them and the paramedics allowed them to join.
The dam finally broke when the ambulance took off down the road and tears fell from Tobio's eyes. Bokuto pulled the small boy into his lap and tucked his head to his chest. The tiny body beneath his palms quivered with each hiccup, making Bokuto's stomach twist.
So now, the two of them sat in the waiting room. Tobio was bundled in Bokuto's arms, his eyes heavily lidded as he started to drift in and out of sleep. Bokuto rubbed his back gently and slowly rocked him in the seat. He had no idea how long they had sat there in the waiting room, but he was beginning to get restless. He wanted answers and he desperately needed to know if his friend was okay.
And the biggest question he wanted answered was why?
Why on earth had Akaashi taken so many pills?
And to wash it all down with hard liquor?
Why, Akaashi?
Why?
Bokuto winced, holding little Tobio closer. There was a tense buzz humming inside his chest, and his leg began to bounce nervously.
He knew that Akaashi was most likely troubled, especially after coming home from the dinner with a huge bruise on his face. He would not be surprised if Akaashi's parents were the cause. But would Akaashi really try to take his own life after an altercation like that?
Bokuto shook his head before resting his cheek against the top of Tobio's head.
No, Akaashi would not try to take his own life right in front of his son. Akaashi would not want to traumatize his kid like that.
There had to have been another reason.
There just had to have been.
"Um, excuse me, sir?"
Bokuto nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a light touch on his shoulder, jostling Tobio in the process. He glanced up to see a young nurse staring down at him with an apologetic expression on her face.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" she apologized.
Bokuto stroked Tobio's hair, trying to get the boy to fall back asleep, and he smiled at the woman kindly.
"It's no worries," he said. His smile turned sheepish. "Um… is Akaashi okay?"
The nurse smiled softly. "That's why I was coming to get you. The procedure went well and he's in recovery now."
"Procedure?" Bokuto asked, his forehead wrinkling in worry.
"Ah, right. He had to undergo a gastric suction," the nurse said.
Bokuto cocked his head to the side, staring up at her with a questioning look on his face.
"Gastric suction?" he echoed, his brows knitting together. He held his hand over Tobio's ear to block out the nurse's words, just in case the boy was still awake.
The nurse nodded. "It means he had to get his stomach pumped."
Bokuto felt the color drain from his face. He pressed his palm tighter against Tobio's ear.
"Um! Is that bad? Is he okay?" Bokuto asked.
The nurse smiled and waved her hand in the air gently.
"Take it easy! The procedure was a success," she said with a light chuckle. Bokuto breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging. "He's still unconscious but you can go up and see him if you'd like."
Bokuto straightened his back and looked up at the nurse with shining eyes.
"Can I?" he asked.
"Of course!" the nurse responded with a smile. "Just follow me."
Bokuto scrambled to his feet, readjusting the sleeping child in his arms. He followed the nurse to an elevator and up to the floor with the recovery rooms. After going down a long hallway, the nurse gestured towards an open door.
"Right in here," she said with a bow. "And since you brought him in, you can stay as long as you'd like."
"Ah, thank you," Bokuto said, bowing back.
She nodded her head in response and headed down the hall.
When she was gone, Bokuto faced the open doorway and took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling. Then, he walked inside and gazed around the dimly lit room.
Akaashi was lying on the bed near the wall with several wires attached to his hand. There was a monitor on the side that measured his vitals, his heart rate going at a sluggish 58 beats per minute.
Bokuto's stomach did uncomfortable flips as his heart fluttered. It was hard to see someone in this state, especially when they had been the picture of health just hours ago.
Bokuto glanced to his left and saw a long couch placed right by the doorway. There was a stack of extra blankets and a spare pillow, too. The nurse must have figured that Bokuto would be staying a while.
He sighed and walked over to the couch, using one hand to move everything around. Then, as carefully as he could, he rested Tobio down on the couch and covered him with the spare blanket. He paused for a minute to watch Tobio, in case he woke up or needed something. But the child was out for the night, allowing Bokuto to breathe a small sigh in relief.
Bokuto sat in the empty space left on the couch and leaned heavily on the armrest, resting his temple against his fist. He stared at Akaashi, his heart squeezing.
Was he going to wake up soon? How long did it take for someone to recover from something like this?
Bokuto just wanted answers but instead, he was getting overwhelmed with more questions.
He sighed and looked at Akaashi, his hands curling into fists.
"I'm not going anywhere, Akaashi," Bokuto promised, wondering if Akaashi would have heard him at all. "I'm going to be right here when you wake up. I promise."
It was dark when Keiji opened his eyes.
His eyelids were heavy and puffy from all the crying he had done for the past two nights at the hospital. He had been having trouble sleeping in the bed, especially with that obnoxious breathing mask on his face.
He remembered hearing the doctors talking about something called "pneumonia." Keiji was unsure what exactly it was but it sounded scary.
He coughed wetly, his breath fogging up the mask briefly. When the fit passed, he swallowed and turned his head to look towards the door of his hospital room. The long couch against the wall had a spare pillow and blanket resting neatly on one of the cushions. But other than that, the couch was empty.
Keiji frowned, turning his head to glance at the tall window in his hospital room.
The chairs next to the window were also empty.
Keiji sighed, feeling his eyes sting once again.
Those seats had been empty for two days. No one had come to visit him at all. Not the butler nor the maid. Not even any of his classmates.
But the people Keiji wanted most in that room were his mother and father.
Where were they? Why were they not here?
His hands gripped the blankets, the tensions causing his arms to tremble. He was scared. He was not sure what was going on or why he was sick or how long it would take for him to get better.
Keiji squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears to fall down his cheeks.
"Mom, Dad…" his raspy voice whimpered in the dark. "Please."
He begged softly as tears began to soak his pillow. He began to shiver, his fever still having a strong grip on him.
"I don't want to be alone," Keiji cried. "I don't want to be alone!"
It became harder and harder to breathe as his lungs burned with each gasp and hiccup. But he still begged to the ceiling for a miracle of some kind, not caring how it happened.
But Keiji, even at six years old, knew better.
Keiji bit his lip, holding back his cries as he stared up at the dark ceiling.
Yes. Keiji knew that he would always be alone.
"I don't want to be alone," Keiji whimpered softly.
"I don't want to be alone."
"I don't… want to be…"
"Alone."
When he slowly came to, he was greeted with a white ceiling.
Akaashi blinked slowly, his body feeling heavier than he had ever felt before. His head spun lightly as he tried to get his bearings straight. His stomach was in knots, feeling empty and nauseous, and the bed he was lying on was eerily familiar, and the thought made him feel worse.
He was in the hospital.
But how did he even get here? Did the butler or a maid come to take him? Was he sick again?
What day was it?
Akaashi lolled his head to the side to stare towards the window of his hospital room. The chairs next to the windows were empty.
It was just as he expected it. Those seats would always be empty.
He stared back up at the ceiling, the knot in his stomach transferring up to his chest, wrapping his heart in a snare and squeezing tight. His eyes pricked with tears, the droplets dancing along his eyelids and threatening to slide out.
It was unbearable. The loneliness was choking him to death.
No one would ever understand.
He was so, so tired of being alone.
But that was how it would always be.
A tear slid out of his eye and trailed down his cheek to his ear. Akaashi sniffed slowly, calming his breathing so he would not break out into sobs. He was too exhausted and frustrated to cry. He had had enough. He was done.
Akaashi raised his hand to wipe the tear from his face but a sharp pain prevented his hand from lifting off of the bed. He winced and glanced down at his hand, seeing the IV needle stuck in a vein. He sighed, frustrated that he could hardly move, and he looked down at his other hand to see if it also had been tangled up in wires.
Just as he was about to lift his hand, his eye caught a figure slouching on the couch on the other side of the room. He squinted, his vision still fuzzy from the anesthesia.
Who was that? His father? No, it couldn't be.
He blinked rapidly to push away the grogginess.
And then, he sucked in a harsh breath.
Sitting on the couch with his eyes shut and arms folded across his chest was Bokuto. His once gel-slicked hair was now loose, covering his forehead and eyebrows, and his usual intense expression was gone, replaced with a calmness that only sleep could bring.
What was he doing here? Did Bokuto bring him here?
Was he… not alone?
Akaashi wracked his brain and struggled to remember how he gotten in the hospital. He was still confused from his earlier dream, his brain desperately trying to differentiate between the dream and reality.
Then, a thought hit him like ton of bricks.
Tobio.
Where was Tobio?!
Akaashi felt woozy as he tried to sit up and he fell back against the pillows with a strangled grunt. The force rattled the bed and the small end table next to him, causing a plastic cup to clatter to the ground. The sound echoed softly in the room, startling the man on the couch and making his body flinch.
"Huh… what's… Eh? Ah! Akaashi!"
Akaashi turned his head to see Bokuto jumping to his feet and hurrying to his side. His hand came down to rest on Akaashi's shoulder. Akaashi instantly stilled in his sluggish thrashing.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Calm down," Bokuto said, his voice surprisingly soft. "You've had a rough night, so take it easy, okay?"
Akaashi blinked at him blearily. He tried to reach up to touch Bokuto's arm, his heart pounding against his chest in a panic.
"T… To…" Akaashi's throat was too dry to speak.
"Hm?" Bokuto hummed, cocking his head to study Akaashi's words. Then, his eyes lit up. "Oh, Tobio? He's fast asleep on the couch. Can you see him?"
Akaashi turned his head towards the couch and squinted. He could make out a tiny lump hidden beneath a mass of blankets on the corner of the couch. The lump moved up and down rhythmically, indicating sleep-filled breaths.
Akaashi sighed in relief and allowed himself to relax against his own pillow. He stared back up at Bokuto and opened his mouth to speak again, but only a croak came out.
"Oh, lemme get you some water. The doctor said it should be fine once you wake up," Bokuto said, pouring a glass of water. When the glass was half filled, he suddenly stopped and gave Akaashi a sheepish look. "Unless you feel nauseous. Do you feel nauseous?"
Akaashi shook his head. He had felt lightheaded and sore and strangely empty, but the nausea had passed. Bokuto smiled at his answer and plopped a straw into the cup. He moved the cup under his mouth and directed the straw to Akaashi's lips. Akaashi hesitated, his lips pooching out in a pout and his eyes giving Bokuto a deadpan look.
"Oi, this is no time to let your pride get in the way," Bokuto said with his own proud smile on his face. "Just drink it, Akaashi."
Akaashi rolled his eyes and opened his lips for the straw. Once the cool liquid slid down his throat he felt instant relief. He sucked down the whole glass and cleared his throat when the glass was taken away.
"Better?" Bokuto asked.
Akaashi took a deep breath through his nose and nodded once.
"Yes. Thank you, Bokuto-san," Akaashi said, his voice hoarse.
Bokuto set the glass down and smiled brightly. "Of course, Akaashi! Happy to help."
Akaashi nodded and then glanced around the hospital room. It was eerily familiar to when he had been hospitalized for pneumonia as a child, but this was a surprise. Having Bokuto by his side was very comforting, and it made the experience of being in the hospital less scary.
Speaking of the experience…
"Why am I here?" Akaashi asked, looking at Bokuto expectantly.
Bokuto's eyes widened a little. "You don't know?"
Akaashi cocked a brow. Was he forgetting something?
"Um… no?" Akaashi said.
Bokuto opened and shut his mouth, his brows pushing together and a crease forming.
"You… had to get your stomach pumped," Bokuto answered.
Akaashi's brows rose to his forehead and his lips parted. He glanced down at his stomach and moved his hand to rest on top of it. He pressed lightly and immediately felt a stab of dull pain travel from his stomach and up his spine to pulse through his ribs.
That hurt.
"Hey, don't do that," Bokuto said, taking Akaashi's hand away. Akaashi stared up at him groggily. "The doctor said you'll probably be real tender for a few days."
Akaashi swallowed and then nodded slowly. Bokuto released his hand, his face still looking a bit dejected and sorrowful. His brows were upturned a little sadly and his usual playful smile was nowhere in sight.
Akaashi's heart did a strange flip in his chest at the sight. He hated seeing him like this. And it did not help that Bokuto's wild hair was now drooping and falling into his eyes.
"Akaashi…"
Bokuto's voice pulled Akaashi from his thoughts and he locked eyes with him. Bokuto's teeth were gnawing on his bottom lip, and he almost looked frustrated at himself. He took a moment to fidget before resolving himself, standing up straight with his hands in fists by his sides.
"Akaashi, what… what happened?" Bokuto asked, exasperated.
Akaashi looked at him owlishly, barely blinking as he processed Bokuto's words.
"Huh?" Akaashi asked. "What do you mean?"
Bokuto grimaced, his hands shaking. "What happened last night to make you take so many pills?"
Akaashi's brows furrowed and his lip pulled to the side. He shook his head slowly, confused.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I only took three pills last night…" Akaashi said, his voice sounding unsure.
Right? He did only take three didn't he? That was what he remembered, anyway.
But when he looked up at Bokuto, he was surprised to see his friend's face contort into a sour frown.
"Akaashi, they found nearly fourteen whole pills in your stomach!" Bokuto said.
Akaashi grew stiff, his eyes slowly widening as Bokuto's words sank in.
Fourteen?
Fourteen pills?
"And that didn't include the ones that had already dissolved!" Bokuto said, his voice rising a bit in his emotional state.
Akaashi bit his lip and absent-mindedly fiddled with the sheets as the shock set in. The texture was a little rough in between his fingers.
"I… I don't…" Akaashi whispered, his voice barely audible.
"And then you went and drank a whole bottle of alcohol!" Bokuto said, his voice cracking.
Akaashi's heart broke at the sound and he rolled his head to the side, his eyes pricking with tears. His hands clutched the blankets, his arms shaking.
"Sorry," Akaashi apologized with a trembling voice. "I didn't even r-realize that I took so many pills." He took a shaky breath as he tried to control his speeding heart. "I could've sworn that I only took a few."
There was a quiet pause, and then Akaashi felt a hand rest on his, forcing open his fist and gripping it tightly. He turned back to look at Bokuto, a tear falling out of his eye. Bokuto was looking down at him with such a soft expression that it made his chest hurt.
"It's okay, Akaashi. It'll be okay," Bokuto said, his thumb gently running over the back of Akaashi's hand. His other hand reached up to wipe away the tear that was running Akaashi's cheek. "I'm just glad that Tobio called me in time."
Akaashi stiffened, his eyes widening. He shifted a little, staring up at Bokuto in shock.
"Tobio called you?" Akaashi asked, his voice a little louder despite its hoarseness.
Bokuto paused, a little taken aback by his outburst, and then smiled gently.
"Yeah. He was the one who called me about it and I came over as soon as I could," Bokuto said.
"But… Tobio can't read," Akaashi said, his face scrunching up. "So, how did he…?"
Bokuto squeezed his hand. "Your kid is sharp, Akaashi. You should be proud."
Akaashi turned his head to see his son still sleeping away on the couch. He sighed gently, his eyes burning with pride.
"Yeah," Akaashi said. "I am."
Bokuto's smile curved up higher on one side for a moment and he gently shook Akaashi's hand to grab his attention.
"It'll be okay, Akaashi," Bokuto said. "Take some deep breaths, okay? The doctor said that your lungs might have some residual fluid from the procedure, so he wanted to make sure that you were breathing properly."
Akaashi slowed his breathing down, realizing that he had started to get choked up. A few tears spilled from his eyes and he frantically reached up to wipe them away with his free hand, startling when he felt that his cheek was covered in a thick bandage. He ran his fingers over the bandage gently and pressed on it to feel the bruise. It made him squeak and wince.
It confused him for a moment, his brain reeling.
But then, the events of the night came back to him in flashes.
"We need to raise your status so that you'll be reputable as the heir of the Akaashi industry."
"You think you have a say in this matter?"
"It was such a disappointment to us when you said you were going to keep it."
"So, I suppose, in a word, yes. I would have given you up."
And then, he heard his own voice lashing out in desperation.
"I wish you had never had me!"
"Hey!"
His hand was gently tugged away from his cheek and he was met with golden eyes, worried yet firm.
"Do you like poking yourself where it hurts? Stop doing that," Bokuto said.
Akaashi swallowed, letting his hand fall back to the bed. He glanced down, trying to remember what happened after his father had humiliated him in the middle of the restaurant. He apparently went home since Tobio had called Bokuto. But what happened after that? Did he really drink so much? Did he really take almost twenty pills?
"You were hit, weren't you?"
Akaashi jumped, his fingers curling around the bed sheets. He looked up at Bokuto with a look of surprise. And the man in front of him was staring at him with such a firm stance that it sent shivers down Akaashi's spine.
"Um…" Akaashi mumbled.
"Who hit you, Akaashi?" Bokuto asked. He put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Who was it?"
Akaashi bit his lip, suddenly feeling ashamed and embarrassed to even admit it. It was not as if he was ten years old and getting disciplined. He was an adult.
A lousy, good-for-nothing adult.
"Akaashi." Akaashi looked up at Bokuto sheepishly, and Bokuto was looking at him with the gentlest expression in the world. "Please tell me."
Akaashi sighed, lowering his eyes again. His free hand squeezed the sheets and he took a deep breath.
"My father," Akaashi answered. "Discussions at the dinner table got a little… heated."
Bokuto grimaced, his thumb moving comfortingly across Akaashi's hand while his other hand squeezed Akaashi's shoulder.
"Is that why… why you took so many pills?" Bokuto asked, carefully treading back into dangerous territory.
Akaashi winced, his hand unintentionally squeezing Bokuto's. His forehead winkled as he thought, turning the idea over in his head.
"I don't… remember why I took so many," Akaashi admitted.
Bokuto frowned. "You… don't?"
"No," Akaashi said, shaking his head. "I… think I was just so upset that… that I didn't realize what I was doing."
"Oh," Bokuto said, looking at him with a strange expression. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and he suddenly looked small. "So… you weren't trying to… trying to… ki… kill yourself?"
Akaashi blinked at him, his lips parting as his jaw dropped. He felt his hand jolt in Bokuto's grasp, and Bokuto squeezed his hand in response. Akaashi swallowed, casting his gaze away from Bokuto's concerned eyes.
What?
Did he really think that?
Why... was Bokuto so worried about that?
Did he know...?
"Akaashi…"
Akaashi risked a glance up at Bokuto, his expression small. Bokuto's face was once again contorted into a serious look but it was still filled with so much concern that Akaashi was stunned silent.
"I… I know what you were trying to do at that bridge a few weeks ago," Bokuto admitted.
Akaashi inhaled sharply, his stomach suddenly churning with anxiety. His hand loosened in Bokuto's grasp and began to shake. He suddenly wanted to run, to flee and escape and never be seen again. He had never wanted to share these his inner thoughts with anyone.
And now that Bokuto knew…
Would he leave?
Would Akaashi be left all…
"Mommy… Daddy!"
"Please, I'm so scared!"
"I don't want to be…!"
…alone?
"So, if… if that's what you were trying to do then… well, Akaashi, I just want you to know…" Bokuto started again.
Akaashi flinched at the sound of his voice, suddenly feeling very, very afraid. His stomach was swirling so much that he thought he would pass out.
This was it.
This was the moment he would be left alone again.
"…I'm here for you, okay?"
Akaashi froze, swallowing down a tiny bit of anxiety. He slowly lifted his gaze to stare up at Bokuto and was met with a confident smile.
He…
He wasn't going to leave?
"You…" Akaashi started. "You don't think I'm… weird? Or… disgraceful?"
"Huh?!" Bokuto shouted, his face falling. "What are you talking about?! I would never think that way about you, Akaashi!"
Akaashi stared up at him in amazement. He felt tears prick his eyes, relief suddenly flooding his system. He took a few disjointed breaths, his lungs struggling to keep up.
"I… I thought you wouldn't want to be near me if you knew," Akaashi said. "I thought you would… never want to talk to me again."
"Now that's just crazy!" Bokuto said.
He put his thumb to his chest and straightened his back, determined. Akaashi's eyes widened as he watched Bokuto stand like a hero, a knight in shining armor.
"If you think I'm leaving your side because of this, then you're wrong. I'm sticking next to you whether you like it or not! And I'm going to help you out with this, too," Bokuto said. "And I'm going to mess up whatever's been bothering you so you never have to go through this ever again!"
Bokuto put up his fist, looking almost furious. It was a great stance if Bokuto had been preparing for battle, but with his floppy hair and disheveled clothes, he looked comical.
Akaashi tried to bite his lips to keep them from trembling, but they curled up into a soft smile.
And then he huffed out an amused laugh, wiping a tear from his eye. Bokuto looked startled, his free hand coming to rest on Akaashi's shoulder.
But Akaashi glanced up at Bokuto, a smile finally on his face.
"I w-wasn't trying to kill myself last night, Bokuto-san," Akaashi said, a small laugh escaping his lips.
Bokuto blinked at him, and then reeled back, staring at Akaashi with wide eyes.
"You weren't?!" Bokuto asked.
Akaashi shook his head and then glanced up at the ceiling, his lips pulling into a frown.
"I think I was so frazzled from the… incident at the restaurant, I forgot how many pills I had already taken. And I kept forgetting over and over until I had apparently taken too many," Akaashi explained. He grimaced a little. "It… It wasn't my brightest moment."
Bokuto reached down to claim Akaashi's shoulder again, offering his own smile.
"We all have little lapses in judgment, especially if we're under high stress," Bokuto said.
Akaashi nodded in agreement, smiling back at him. Bokuto squeezed his shoulder again, and Akaashi relished in the feeling. He never knew how badly he needed Bokuto's comfort until now. Every squeeze sent warm tingles down his spine.
"Speaking of high stress…" Bokuto started. "You said that you and your dad had a… disagreement?"
Akaashi lifted his free hand to touch his cheek and sighed, finally feeling calm enough to speak about it.
"Yeah. He wants me to take over his business one day, but I told him I didn't want to," Akaashi said.
"And he hit you for that?" Bokuto asked.
Akaashi averted his gaze. "Well, I might've said some other choice words, too."
"Akaashi."
"I know," Akaashi said. He slumped into his pillow and sighed, throwing his free arm over his eyes. "It was such a shame, too. I didn't get to finish my dinner."
"That's what you're concerned about?! Akaashi, you had your stomach pumped only hours ago!" Bokuto said with a concerned smile.
"Ah. So the doctors took away my appetizers, too, then."
"Akaashi!"
Bokuto laughed, making Akaashi move his arm to see him smiling down at him playfully. Akaashi smiled back, finally starting to feel his body relax and calm down since the night before.
"Oh! Akaashi! I have an idea!" Bokuto said suddenly, his eyes brightening.
Akaashi cocked his head, waiting to hear his friend's amazing idea.
"What's your idea?" Akaashi asked.
Bokuto grinned from ear to ear. "You should really come out to play volleyball with me and my friends!"
Akaashi's eyes widened a bit. "Volleyball?"
Bokuto nodded fiercely, excited.
"Yes! You would love it! And I bet Tobio would love to come and watch you in action," Bokuto said.
Akaashi chewed on his lip. He would be meeting some of Bokuto's friends that he had been talking about for weeks, and he would get to play the sport he loved again. He feared what his parents would think but…
"Disgraceful."
…they probably did not have a high opinion on him anyway.
"Besides…"
Akaashi looked back up at Bokuto, who was looking a little nervous.
"You… You seem lonely, Akaashi. And well… I want to help," Bokuto said. "My friends are really great and they're very accepting to new people coming to play. So! So… So you should… come. Please, Akaashi? I promise you'll have fun."
Bokuto gave the biggest puppy-dog eyes in the world. It was a hard face to resist, especially since Bokuto had said please.
Akaashi sighed and shook his head. There was no getting out of it.
He smiled up at Bokuto.
"What days do you guys play, again?"