Thank you guys for commenting and favorited this! You guys are awesome :)

Chapter 8

I quit.

With just those two words, Akaashi's world had completely flipped.

There was far less stress.

Akaashi could play volleyball.

He could see Bokuto and bond with his son every day at practice.

The world was calm and peaceful…

…except for one thing.

The violin screeched.

The practicing was proving more difficult than Akaashi had anticipated.

Every day for the past week, Akaashi had practiced nearly six hours every day. The joints in his hands were stiff and the muscles in his arms were sore. After not playing for five years, getting back into the swing of things had been tiring.

Akaashi sighed as he tried the simple scale again, his fingers trailing up the strings. His fingers shook as the muscles strained to move, and he struggled to get the right pitch. The strings squeaked every so often when his bow quivered.

His arms were exhausted.

He lowered the violin and rolled his neck to relieve his stiff shoulders. His forehead had a light sheen of annoying sweat that would, every so often, drip into his eye. It was frustrating. The whole thing was frustrating.

Akaashi glanced over at the clock, deciding it was probably time to call it for the day. It was nearing the time for him to head to Fukudoroni anyway.

He sighed and walked over to the coffee table and lowered the violin into its case with trembling arms. It fit snugly in its case, just as he had remembered it. He glanced at its sleek design, the few scratches on the surface.

His finger ran over a particularly long scratch on near the side, and he furrowed his brows in confusion. When had his case gotten that scratch?

Akaashi thought back to his college days when he had carried that violin around like a lifeline. He remembered that scratch always being there, though…

His eyes suddenly widened, the memory clicking into place.

That's right. He had gotten that scratch the first day of rehearsal his first year of college…

Akaashi ran as fast as he could to get to the auditorium. He had rushed from his afternoon class, which the professor had let out late.

Of course the professor had to let out late on the day Akaashi began his orchestra career at university. It was just so typical.

He ran into the music building and practically sprinted down the hall, dodging other students who were milling about. He only slightly envied their lack of busyness.

When he reached the end of the hall, Akaashi turned sharply at the corner, ready to climb the few steps to get to the auditorium doors.

But before he could even fully make the turn, he ran right into another person, taking them both crashing to the ground. A pair of violin cases scattered from their hands and skidded across the hard floor, and Akaashi nearly had a heart attack. His father would kill him if he messed up that violin!

He sat up and rubbed his sore elbows, glancing over to see who he had run over.

The first thing he noticed was smooth black hair that was pulled up in a ponytail.

Akaashi paled.

He had totally knocked over a girl!

"I—I'm so sorry!" Akaashi apologized, scrambling to his feet. He extended a hand down to her. "Are you okay?"

The girl looked up at him, and she took Akaashi's breath away.

She had the most beautiful navy blue eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I'm totally fine," she said, taking his hand and giving him a small smile. "I was running late for rehearsal so I was in a hurry, but I forgot my rosin in my car."

"Oh! I have some extra if you want to use it," Akaashi said, pointing to his violin case.

"I can use some?" the girl asked.

Akaashi nodded. "Of course."

The girl smiled, and it made Akaashi's heart somersault. "Thank you!"

Akaashi nodded. "We should hurry, though."

The girl nodded back. "Right."

They both hurried over to pick up their violins, and Akaashi frowned when he saw a fresh scratch in the black case. His brows pinched, feeling a little peeved that it had happened. But as long as the violin inside was okay, then the case did not matter. It did its job.

They both rushed into the auditorium where other orchestra members were still warming up and getting their instruments together. Akaashi breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he was not late.

After he had gotten his instrument out, he hurried to the stage where the section leaders were assigning seats for the incoming freshmen. He waited patiently for his name to be called, and when it was called, several eyes laid on him at once.

"Oh, so we have Akaashi-sama's son with us! That's amazing!"

"That's crazy. He'll be better than us in no time I bet…"

"Don't be so discouraged! The orchestra will sound good now."

Akaashi tried to remain calm as he took his seat, his heart thudding against his chest. He could hear other names being called but he could not register exactly what they were saying.

Suddenly, he felt someone sit next to him and he turned his head sharply to see who it was.

His heart fluttered again when he saw that it was that same girl.

"Oh, hi, Akaashi-san. I guess we're stand partners, then?" she said.

Akaashi stared at her, swallowing thickly. "How… did you know my name?"

The girl giggled, raising a brow. "They kinda announced it, remember? And you're some kind of celebrity around here."

Akaashi flushed, bowing his head a little. "Oh, right. Sorry, but I didn't hear your name…"

The girl smiled at him. "Oh! My name is—"

Akaashi jolted, ripping his hand back from his violin case. Then he froze, his breath stalling in his chest and his limbs growing stiff.

It had been a while since he had thought about her.

Why did he have to have that memory come to him now of all times?

He did not need this. Not when time was going by so quickly.

He turned away from his violin and quickly gathered his gym bag and water to head to Fukudoroni.

She left you, remember?

Akaashi sighed angrily as the voice tried to provoke him again.

"Shut up," he whispered as he left his apartment.

You are delusional if you think you can master violin again!

Even she thought so!

She thought you were so pathetic that she dumped that kid off on you!

"Enough!" Akaashi said, yelling into the hallway of his apartment. He turned around, almost as if he were expecting the source of the voice to be right behind him.

But, as usual, Akaashi realized that the voice was stuck inside of him. Lurking and waiting to strike whenever he felt vulnerable.

He sighed, panting from his delirious meltdown, and hurried down the hall.

He put it far from his mind, thinking about only a loud and boisterous volleyball coach who needed his help today. He had to focus. Focus…

Focus.

"Uncle Bokuto told me to do it like this!"

"What? That's not what Daddy told me."

"Eh? He does it differently?"

"Yes. We need to do it this way."

Tobio watched as Shouyou stared down at the volleyball in between his hands with a puzzled look on his face. He looked up at Tobio and then tilted his head at him, his face turning back to normal.

"I don't get it," Shouyou said.

Tobio rolled his eyes. "You have to push out your arms! Like this!"

Tobio clasped his hands together and pushed his elbows up, making the insides of his arms face upward.

"You have to receive the ball with your arms like this," Tobio said. "If you bend your arms then the ball will keep hitting you in the face."

"It doesn't hit me in the face all the time!" Shouyou protested.

"It's like every day!" Tobio shouted back, making Shouyou pout. "Now toss me the ball."

Shouyou squinted his eyes at him for a moment before lightly tossing the ball up into the air and towards Tobio. Tobio bent his knees, just as his father had shown him, and he locked his arms together. The ball connected with his arms and tapped up and into the air. Shouyou stood amazed, his eyes shining and his jaw dropped.

"Wow!" Shouyou exclaimed.

"Oi, don't just stand there! Receive it!" Tobio barked.

Shouyou jolted out of his daze and scrambled to get the right position. He crouched down low and tried to receive it, but the ball hit his arm at an angle, causing it to fling to the side and roll along the floor.

"You dummy!" Tobio yelled, scowling at Shouyou. He hurried after the ball.

"At least it didn't hit my face!" Shouyou called after him.

Tobio picked up the ball and started back to his old spot. "But you're supposed to hit it back to me, Dummy!"

Shouyou stuck his tongue out at him and then got into position. "Well hurry up and toss it to me, then!"

Tobio sighed and got ready to toss it, but just before he could throw the ball up into the air, he heard Bokuto calling the players over to the net. Tobio stopped and watched as Bokuto and his father talked to the players.

"Nice work, guys! Now we need to toughen up for next week's game!" Bokuto said with a huge smile on his face. "Let's see some spikes!"

"Yes, sir!"

Tobio's hands gripped the ball as he watched as the volleyball players line up to start spiking. His eyes shined as each player ran up to the net and leaped high into the air to slam the ball down on the other side. He desired to learn more and more about volleyball as quickly as he could so he could catch up to them.

He also wanted to play with his father.

"Tobiooo! C'mon! Bump the ball to me!"

Tobio jolted and turned around. His face fell into a scowl when he saw Shouyou still standing behind him, looking impatient but energetic.

"Are you going to bump it into your face again?" Tobio asked.

"No! I'll bump it right back to you!" Shouyou said.

Tobio pouted. "That's what you said the last time. You need to do better."

"At least I'm not a grumpy pants," Shouyou muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tobio growled, his brows lowered.

"N-Nothing!" Shouyou said. "Just bump it! C'mon, c'mon!"

Tobio relaxed his face and nodded, his scowl turning into a determined frown. He threw the ball into the air and quickly placed his hands together as Bokuto had shown him. Then, he bumped the ball up and over to Shouyou, who eagerly awaited with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

Shouyou clasped his hands together, ready for the ball. It was getting lower, and—

"Shouyou!"

Shouyou whipped his head to the side at the sound of his name, and the ball promptly smacked him in the face, making him fall backward with a pitiful "bleh!"

Tobio stomped his foot once and pointed at Shouyou on the ground.

"Dummy Shouyou! You said you wouldn't let it hit you in the face!" Tobio yelled.

Shouyou sat up from the floor with his hand holding his forehead. He had a pout on his face as he tried to glare at Tobio.

"I didn't mean to! I heard someone calling me!" Shouyou said.

"Hah? Who was calling—"

"Shouyou!"

At the second call, both boys turned to see a woman with red hair walking into the gym. She had a baby carrier on her arm, a sleepy baby hidden inside.

Shouyou's eyes lit up like fireworks.

"Mommy!" Shouyou yelled, scrambling up from the floor to rush over to his mom.

Tobio watched from where he stood.

Mommy?

Shouyou collided into the woman's side and squeezed his arms around her legs.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her. "I thought you were at home with Natsu."

His mom smiled and embraced Shouyou in a one-armed hug, kissing him on the top of his mop of hair. She knelt down to him and tapped his nose with her finger.

"I thought we could go out to eat tonight," his mom said.

"Really?! We can?" Shouyou asked.

His mom nodded. "Of course! Natsu has been doing so well that I thought it would be a good time to try out a restaurant."

Shouyou grinned from ear to ear and scurried over to the car side.

"Good job, Natsu! You're making Mommy happy!" Shouyou said.

The baby cooed and reached up to grab Shouyou's nose, making the boy laugh.

"She got me, Mom!" Shouyou said.

"I can see that," his mom said with a laugh.

The two of them laughed and giggled while trying to make the baby smile.

The sight made Tobio's brows furrow. His chest suddenly felt strange and his stomach was doing weird flips. His eyes burned and his little hands curled into fists.

He suddenly felt… sad.

Why was he feeling this way?

The woman ran her fingers through Shouyou's hair and then she stood to her feet.

"Okay, Shouyou. Say goodbye to your friend. We're going to go now," she said.

Shouyou nodded and turned back to Tobio, lifting up a hand to wave at him furiously.

"Bye, Tobio! See you tomorrow!" Shouyou yelled.

Tobio barely lifted a hand to wave back, not uttering a word as Shouyou turned away to grab onto his mother's hand. Before they could leave, Bokuto came running over to squeeze Shouyou's mother in a tight hug, and then he turned his attention to the baby. They all looked so… happy.

What was is about this scene that made Tobio feel so uneasy?

Tobio stood frozen in the same spot, the volleyball abandoned on the side next to the wall. He felt his lips tremble a little, and he lowered his head to look at the ground sadly, unable to look at Shouyou and his mother any longer. Even the sounds of squeaking shoes and slamming volleyballs could not make him smile.

"Ah, is Shouyou leaving, Tobio?"

Tobio jolted when he heard a voice call out to him. He had been so distracted that he did not hear the sounds of his father's footsteps coming towards him. He glanced up at his father, who was standing in front of him.

"That's okay. You can come—" His father stopped when he focused on Tobio's face, his eyes widening a little in concern. He quickly crouched down to his level and put a hand on Tobio's shoulder. "What's wrong, Tobio? Did something happen?"

Tobio's eyes squinted, holding back the tears, and he shook his head. His gaze landed on Shouyou and his mother once more.

Tobio's father blinked at him a few times and then glanced over his shoulder to stare at Shouyou. He paused, his lips parting slightly and his eyes growing in realization.

"Is… Is that Shouyou's mother?" his father asked.

Tobio nodded, unsure if his father even saw his response. But his father stood to his feet and turned away from Tobio.

"I see," his father said.

His father's voice cracked and trembled, making Tobio whip his head up to look at him, startled. His father did not move for a moment, his eyes locked onto Shouyou and the woman.

Tobio tilted his head to look at his father's face, and his lips trembled when he saw the sad look in his father's eyes. He lowered his gaze to stare at the ground again, the shiny floor becoming blurry because of his tears.

Suddenly, there was a pat on his head, and long fingers carded through his hair. Tobio moved his head up, the hand staying on top of his head. His father was standing next to him, his eyes piercing yet unreadable as they stared at Shouyou's family.

"C'mon. Let's go on the court," his father said. "I'll teach you how to properly set."

His father did not spare him a second glance as he walked out onto the court to grab a ball. He hesitated, not sure if he should follow. The look in his father's eyes was… strange.

After taking a moment to tug on the hem of his shirt, Tobio rushed out onto the court to stand next to his father. And while he watched and listened to what his father had to say, his mind was still stuck on that image of Shouyou's family laughing together.

The excerpt of music for the audition was incredibly difficult. It was a passage from a Mahler Symphony.

Akaashi had played the piece before, but that was during a time when his fingers cooperated better. Now, it was as if his fingers were disconnected from his mind, unable to perform any simple movements along the strings.

He hated this sluggish feeling. He hated being behind.

Akaashi briefly wondered if this entire thing was a mistake.

His fingers got jumbled on the string as he tried the faster passage. The notes were uneven, damn it, and his sound was so squeaky that it sounded as if he were an amateur who had no business playing such a difficult masterpiece.

Akaashi sent a silent apology to the heavens. Mahler would be ashamed.

He removed the violin from his shoulder, his arms beginning to tingle from overuse. He stared at the music, humming the tune over and over and wiggling his fingers to match each note.

What was even going on here? How had he gotten so rusty over the years?

This was frustrating.

After humming the passage, Akaashi panted, completely out of breath, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve. He huffed out an exasperated puff of air and lifted the violin back to tuck under his chin. He raised the bow and started again, his muscles aching all the way to his shoulders.

He had to get this right. He had to finish the passage and he had to get it right. No matter how long it would take, he just had to make it perfect.

Akaashi pushed down on the strings with his bow almost angrily as he started up the passage of music again. The sound was harsh and loud against his ear, but Akaashi was too concerned about getting it right to care. His fingers pressed hard into the strings, sliding along them and moving them as quickly as he possibly could.

You won't get it right.

Akaashi grit his teeth at the sound of that wretched voice, his fingers still moving along the strings with inaccurate speed.

This is such a waste of time.

Akaashi inhaled through his nose. He could feel drops of sweat sliding down his neck.

You will never be anything in this world!

Akaashi had almost beaten it, the fight against that voice. He moved the bow with more precision and slid his fingers along the strings.

He would win.

He could do this.

He could win that audition and—

"Goodbye, Keiji."

"AH!"

Akaashi winced and hissed as sharp pains attacked the tips of his fingers, causing him to nearly drop the violin from his grip. He panted, his entire body shivering, and he glanced down at his left hand.

His eyes widened.

The tips of his fingers had split open, causing trails of blood to start flowing down to his hand. He frantically glanced to his violin and sighed in relief when he saw that the blood had only coated the strings and not the neck or fingerboard.

Akaashi sighed as he placed his bow and violin down on the table. He had not built up enough calluses yet. His fingers were still new to practicing, and this was an obvious sign that he had not been pacing himself properly.

Keeping his hand upright, Akaashi hurried to the bathroom to patch himself up. He turned on the faucet and then looked to his hand, clicking his tongue when he had noticed that some of his blood had gotten on his favorite jacket. Of course, the sleeves had to be a light blue color where the stains would easily show.

With another heavy sigh, he rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, preparing to let the water wash it down.

But when the blood trickled down to his wrist, he paused, sucking in a sharp breath. He stared at the pale, white marks that etched into his skin, the blood sliding along the lines and falling to the tiles floor next to his bare feet. He glanced down at the drops of blood on the floor, his breath seizing in his chest.

He could hear the sound of a baby wailing echoing in the recesses of his mind as the distant memory started to come back.

The cool tile beneath his feet.

Tears on his cheeks.

Exhaustion biting into his bones…

…And a knife held to his wrist.

Akaashi gasped back to reality, almost crumbling to his knees. He held himself up by the bathroom counter, his arms shaking. The blood from his wrist... fingertips… spread out on the counter and slipped down the cabinets.

Failure.

The voice whispered wretchedly in Akaashi's ear, making him jump.

There's no way you can do this. You're a failure, Keiji.

His hands curled into fists, the tips of his fingers stinging as they pressed into his palms.

"No…" Akaashi whispered.

You're useless as a musician, just as you were useless as a father.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Akaashi said, his voice rising to echo in the bathroom.

You need to get rid of this stress. Just do what you used to do.

Akaashi inhaled sharply, his eyes moving to look down at his wrist. The white lines were enticing.

Just do it. Go on, you know how.

Akaashi swallowed as he lifted up his wrist to eye the old scars better. It had been almost four years since he had last taken a knife to himself. He remembered how he would struggle to find a job, and then the babysitter would call him in a panic saying that Tobio was crying too much and that she did not get paid enough. And when Akaashi would come home from a long day at his run-down job, he would try to put Tobio to bed so he could try to just get at least one hour of practice time in. Just an hour. But Tobio screamed and screamed and screamed, and it was all too much to handle.

The love of his life had reappeared just to dump him for a second time.

He was surprised with a child that he suddenly had to take care of.

His multiple part-time jobs were running him ragged, and Tobio's lack of sleep made him even more exhausted the next morning.

His ability to play had already begun to deteriorate.

Everything in Akaashi's world had spiraled out of control until his heavy body felt worn down and fragile.

And that was when the voice first spoke.

Go relieve the pain you feel. It'll take your mind off of everything that's happening.

It was frightening how controlling that voice was. It had Akaashi convinced that he needed to hurt himself to feel emotional relief. And while the self-mutilation and cutting and drops of blood worked for a short while, Akaashi would always end up in bed alone, those painful feelings still gripping at his chest.

And that voice would still speak, night after night.

Worthless.

She left you with this kid. Did she even love you at all? What kind of mother does that?

You hear your child screaming in the next room? Why don't you do something?

I bet she could take care of Tobio better. She is his mother after all. Why don't you call her and beg her to take you back?

You stupid boy. She never loved you and she never will!

Why don't you just kill yourself!

Then, one night, as Akaashi held a large pair of scissors to his forearm, little footsteps grabbed his attention. When he looked up to the doorway of the bathroom, he gasped.

Tobio was walking.

After weeks of falling and crying, Akaashi thought Tobio would never get it. But here he was, all of that hard work paying off right in front of Akaashi's eyes.

With a swell of pride, Akaashi threw the scissors aside and rushed to scoop Tobio up in his arms, proud that his little boy could finally walk.

Later that night, Akaashi vowed never to put a blade to his wrist.

Akaashi blinked back to reality, the images of his memories fading before his eyes. The blood was still running down from his fingertips, and the white lines of his scars were still visible.

He sighed and turned on the sink to let the water run over his hands. It stung briefly, but soon enough, the blood had washed down the drain. When the bleeding stopped, he patched up his wounds with bandages, wincing when he pressed down on each fingertip. Setting at volleyball practice would be painful today.

And maybe you deserve that pain.

Just like all of the pain she caused you when she left.

Akaashi sighed, ignoring the voice again. He walked out to the living room to clean the dried blood from his strings and afterwards, he put the violin back in its case. When the clasps were closed, Akaashi sat on the couch and hunched over, putting his head in his hands.

Maybe he couldn't do this after all.

"No, no! You're supposed to do it like this!"

"What?! I can't do that! I'm not fast enough!"

"Well, learn to move faster!"

"Huh?!"

For the past several weeks, Bokuto had been teaching the volleyball team new spiking techniques, to which Tobio and Shouyou were eager to learn themselves. Bokuto taught them the simplest way to do it: one person toss while the other person spikes. It was difficult at first, but the two of them found a rhythm. Shouyou was spiking the ball every few tosses, and Tobio was learning how to set the ball into the air.

Everything seemed fine.

Except for Tobio's temper.

Recently, Tobio felt more and more frustrated and bitter towards the redhead. His words were clipped and short, and he was quick to yell or start a fight. It was not unusual, but the fights were becoming more and more frequent. Especially whenever Shouyou talked animatedly about his household.

"I'll get it, I'll get it! I just couldn't sleep because Natsu was crying a lot. But Mom said that it's normal and that I even cried a lot!" Shouyou said after a failed attempt to spike the ball. He hurried after the ball and picked it up, his eyes shining with interest as he turned back to look at Tobio. "Does your Mommy ever do that?"

Tobio's brows pushed together, his hands anxiously wiggling by his sides as he tried to keep calm. He pouted and gestured for Shouyou to hand him the ball.

"I don't know who my Mommy is," Tobio said under his breath as he caught the ball.

Shouyou tilted his head and quirked a brow. "What? What do you mean?"

Tobio's brow twitched. "I've just never met her, all right?! Now go stand over there and let me toss to you!"

Shouyou pouted but obeyed, turning to walk back a few spaces. He hesitated, watching Tobio for a moment. And just before Tobio could toss the ball, he blurted his next words as if they just came to his mind.

"It doesn't make sense, though."

Tobio almost stumbled as he abruptly stopped his toss, the ball falling from his hands. He huffed and righted himself, marching over to grab the ball.

"What doesn't make sense?" Tobio scowled.

Shouyou put his hands on his hips. "How you've never met your mommy. That doesn't make sense. Everyone has a mommy!"

Tobio picked up the ball and shot Shouyou a vicious glare in warning, but the redhead still looked at him expectantly. Tobio pouted and turned away to walk back over to his spot.

"Well, I don't!" Tobio yelled after he turned around.

"But why?" Shouyou asked, tilting his head again. "Did she leave? Or is she sick?"

Tobio's hands gripped the volleyball hard, squeezing it with the intent to pop it.

"I don't know," Tobio sneered. "Daddy never told me about my mommy."

Shouyou put his hands on his hips. "Well, that's silly. My daddy goes away for work a lot but my mommy always knows where he is."

"So? Who cares? Stop asking me so much," Tobio fired back, his eyes narrowing. He glanced over at the players and then back to Shouyou. "We're running out of time. You need to learn how to spike the ball since you're so bad at it!"

Shouyou's eyes widened briefly before his brows came crashing down in a less-than-friendly scowl.

"Hey! Don't be so mad at me about it!" Shouyou yelled. "I was just asking questions! Mommy said it's how you get to know your friends!"

"Well, don't!" Tobio yelled. "I don't need friends! Especially someone as stupid as you!"

Tobio briefly saw Shouyou's shocked expression before he turned away to go back to his spot. Before he could turn back around, he heard feet rapidly tapping towards him, and suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around the volleyball and tugged hard.

Tobio snapped his head down to see Shouyou struggling to rip the ball from Tobio's grasp.

"You take that back! I'm not stupid!" Shouyou yelled.

Tobio's anger burned hot.

He tugged on the ball and glared at Shouyou in the eye.

"No! You are stupid! And you can't even spike properly!" Tobio said, ripping the ball away from Shouyou.

Shouyou's anger also erupted in a rush, and he lunged forward to wrap his arms around Tobio's waist in an attempt to tackle him to the ground in retaliation for taking the volleyball. Tobio dropped the volleyball and tried to push on Shouyou's head to get him away.

"You big, dumb, meanie!" Shouyou yelled.

"Get off!" Tobio shouted.

But the look in Shouyou's eyes was vicious. And he opened his mouth to speak.

"I bet your mommy didn't want to be your mommy because you're so mean!"

Tobio's anger turned white hot, the energy surging through his limbs and making him quake.

The rage built higher and higher until it was at its maximum.

And then, something inside of him snapped.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Tobio yelled.

Tobio grabbed onto Shouyou's hair painfully and yanked hard until the arms retracted from their tight grip on his waist. He heard a tiny yelp squeak from Shouyou's mouth but he ignored it in favor of shoving him roughly to the ground, the redhead landing hard on his face.

Tobio stood panting, the fury still coursing through his veins like a steady flow of lava. He just felt so angry and upset and… jealous. He just wanted Shouyou to stop.

He glanced down at Shouyou and watched as the redhead leaned up from the floor, his eyes filled with pain as he looked up at Tobio.

Tobio froze.

A trail of blood was running down from Shouyou's nose. When Shouyou felt his nose and saw the blood on his hand, his eyes widened.

A lump formed in Tobio's throat as panic began to set in because that was a lot of blood—

"Tobio!"

Tobio jumped and whirled around to see his father and Bokuto rushing over to them. Bokuto immediately crouched down next to Shouyou, helping him to his feet and checking his face for injuries.

Tobio's father crouched in front of him, a strange expression on his face.

"Tobio, what on earth happened?! Did you do that to Shouyou?!" his father asked frantically.

Tobio's lips wobbled and he averted his gaze. He nodded slowly in response, eliciting a small gasp from his father.

"What?! Why? Why do you want to hurt someone, Tobio?!" his father asked.

Tobio gripped the hem of his shirt and shivered as tremors began to wrack his body. He could feel the sobs starting to build, the telltale signs quickly emerging: the stinging in the eyes, the frog in the throat, snotty nose and the inability to properly breathe.

"Answer me, Tobio!"

His father grew impatient, waiting for answers. But Tobio had no answers to give. All he could explain was that he was sad.

With that sudden realization, the dam broke.

"I… I… I don't know!"

Tobio's voice came out in a wail, and his little hands released his shirt in favor of covering his eyes. He could feel hands on his shoulders and the sounds of soft voices talking to him, but he could not hear a word.

All he could hear were his own cries.

It had taken what seemed like ages for Akaashi to calm Tobio down.

He had been so startled by Tobio's sudden outburst of tears that his anger immediately flushed out of his system. Even Shouyou, who still had blood running down his face, was staring at Tobio with a small sense of concern on his face.

When Tobio had calmed, he clung to Akaashi like a koala, his head buried in his father's chest. They sat down with Shouyou to try to get the story, and Akaashi frowned hard at his explanation.

It all revolves around you, doesn't it? Akaashi thought, his mind drifting wearily back to his ex.

She had caused so much trouble for them. But Akaashi could not completely blame her. He was also part of the blame.

And Bokuto, gracious and wonderful Bokuto, was the one to explain to Shouyou's mother—his sister—everything that happened. She looked a little concerned at first, but Shouyou wasn't crying. If anything was off, it was just that he was oddly subdued and quiet.

Akaashi bowed several times to Shouyou's mother but she patted his shoulder to make him rise, telling Akaashi that "kids will be kids."

Akaashi smiled politely at her words, grateful for the forgiveness, but his stomach was in knots. The reason behind Tobio's cries was still fresh in his mind, searing into his heart like a sharp knife. He never wanted Tobio to ever feel abandoned. He wanted to protect Tobio from ever feeling this way.

But, Akaashi supposed, that it was bound to happen one day. And fate chose today to let it run its course.

Akaashi pulled Tobio close to his chest as he got ready to leave, the tips of his bandaged fingers still sore from over-practicing. He leaned over to grab his gym bag, his arm dangling as he tried to hold Tobio upright. He fumbled a few times, the strap of the bag falling further and further from his grasp. He sighed in exhaustion, the emotions still swirling around.

"I got it," came a familiar voice, and suddenly Bokuto was there to grab the bag. He smiled softly at Akaashi as he tossed the bag over his shoulder. "Ready?"

Akaashi sighed. "You really don't need to carry that for me."

"It's all good," Bokuto said, waving him off with his free hand. "Let me walk you home."

Akaashi winced, letting out another tired sigh. He nodded and hummed, giving in to Bokuto's blinding smile.

"All right."

They walked towards Akaashi's apartment in total silence, the sounds of their footsteps the only noise echoing in the darkened streets. Bokuto kept glancing over at the still child in Akaashi's arms. Akaashi wondered if Bokuto was just walking them home to see if Tobio was okay. Bokuto had looked pretty frightened himself at seeing Tobio cry like that.

When they reached his apartment, Akaashi, as he usually did, invited Bokuto inside. And just as he usually did, Bokuto accepted, coming inside and shuffling out of his shoes.

Akaashi walked straight to Tobio's room and laid him down on the bed. All of the crying had worn him out, his eyes obviously puffy and swollen. Akaashi winced, running his fingers through the boy's hair.

"You want anything, Tobio? You hardly ate any dinner," Akaashi asked, patting Tobio's belly.

Tobio sniffed and shook his head, the light from the hallway reflecting off of the tears in his eyes.

Akaashi frowned. "Not even milk?"

Tobio shook his head, looking pitiful. His answer made Akaashi frown harder, the worry obvious on his face. He took a quiet breath and patted Tobio's belly one last time before standing to his feet.

"Okay. Well, I'll make sure you have a nice breakfast in the morning, okay?" Akaashi asked.

Tobio nodded wordlessly and moved to cuddle with his plush fish. Akaashi pulled the covers up and over both Tobio and his fish before leaning down to kiss his son's forehead.

"Goodnight, Tobio," Akaashi said, and he turned to leave the bedroom.

"Daddy?"

Tobio's voice made him pause by the door and he turned back to see his son sitting up in bed, squeezing his fish to his chest.

"Yes?" Akaashi asked.

Tobio's eyes shimmered slightly.

"Do I have a mommy?" he asked.

Akaashi sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, almost choking on his spit. He cleared his throat and looked at Tobio, trying to keep his own eyes from tearing up.

"You used to," Akaashi answered, as blunt as ever. "But she went away."

Tobio paused, trying to process that answer.

"Oh," Tobio said. "Did I… make her go away?"

His question made Akaashi's heart hurt.

He rushed over to Tobio's bed and swept him up in a hug, squeezing him to his chest. He kissed Tobio's hair and rubbed his back.

"Not at all," Akaashi said. "You did nothing wrong, Tobio. Do you understand that? You did nothing wrong."

Tobio sniffed and nodded against Akaashi's chest, apparently more tears falling down the boy's cheeks. Akaashi rubbed his back until the sniffling diminished, and he pulled his son back and wiped the tears from his face.

"Better now?" Akaashi asked.

Tobio nodded, his wet eyelids heavy. Akaashi kissed his forehead one last time and then gently guided the boy to lie down.

"We'll talk more tomorrow, okay? Get some rest," Akaashi said.

"Okay, Daddy," Tobio responded in a tired whisper, his eyes closing as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Akaashi let a moment pass, waiting to see if Tobio was asleep, and then he tiptoed out of Tobio's room, softly closing the door behind him.

"Is he okay?"

Akaashi turned to see Bokuto leaning against the wall outside of Tobio's bedroom, his arms folded across his chest and a concerned look on his face. Akaashi sighed and nodded in response.

"He will be. After some rest he should be fine," Akaashi said. He walked down the hall and into the living room, Bokuto in tow. He sat down on the couch and let his head hang back on the backrest.

"Ah," Bokuto said as he plopped down on the couch next to Akaashi. He sat stiffly, his hand reaching up to nervously rub the back of his neck. "He seemed… really upset today."

Akaashi paused, glancing at Bokuto out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah," was all he could answer.

"And… what Shouyou said to him…" Bokuto started, sounding unsure of himself. "It was… about his mother."

Akaashi's hands curled into fists. He leaned up and glanced down at his lap, staring at his still-bandaged hands.

He wanted to talk to him about it. He wanted to tell Bokuto everything that had happened before.

But could he trust him?

What if Bokuto thought badly of him afterward?

What if Bokuto…

"If you think I'm leaving your side because of this, then you're wrong. I'm sticking next to you whether you like it or not!"

Akaashi's chest tightened with renewed energy. He stood to his feet, his legs wobbling with nerves. His whole body trembled at what he was about to do.

"Akaashi? Where're you going?" Bokuto asked.

Akaashi sucked in a quivering breath. "I'll be right back."

He did not look back to see Bokuto's strange expression and he headed to his bedroom. Once again, he got on the floor and searched under his bed, where all of his past seemed to hide.

Akaashi pulled out a cardboard box, the lid not taped or sealed. His hands trembled as he ran his fingers over the edges. He had not seen the contents of this box in almost five years. He had vowed to burn it or throw it away, but he could not bring himself to do it.

Akaashi got back up on his feet and stumbled down the hallway and back to the living room, where Bokuto was anxiously fidgeting on the couch. When he noticed Akaashi, his eyes immediately went to the box. But, thankfully, he did not ask any questions. Instead, he let Akaashi set the box down on the coffee table and open it himself.

The first thing Akaashi pulled out was a picture. He took one glance at it and sighed, his heart feeling as if it were ripping to shreds. He maneuvered around the coffee table and plopped down next to Bokuto, handing him the picture.

Bokuto took the picture and studied it, noticing four figures. One of them was Akaashi—Bokuto could see that right away. There was also two other guys and one girl in the picture.

"Who are they?" Bokuto asked.

Akaashi leaned over, his shoulder bumping into Bokuto's.

"This a picture from when I was in college. The four of us were in a string quartet together," Akaashi explained. He pointed to the two guys in the picture. "These two were brothers. One played viola and the other played cello."

Bokuto nodded in understanding, watching as Akaashi took his fingers away from the picture. He paused and then pointed to the girl in the picture.

"And who is she?" Bokuto asked.

Akaashi's chest tightened so hard that he thought he would suffocate. His heart was pounding madly in his chest, and the anxious butterflies in his stomach were enough to make him queasy. But he took a deep breath and looked at Bokuto with sincere eyes.

"That's Kageyama Mei," Akaashi started. "Tobio's mother."