Marco gained a familiarity with Tom's ass. That wasn't a piece knowledge that he wanted to get out. He wasn't happy with the fact. He wasn't. He has heard the rumors about him. The myth mostly propagated after it was revealed that he was Princess Turdina thanks to his target demographic and their dirty shipping ways.

If he told it, he would have been clear that he was stuck with the guy's behind while he was in the completely last place he wanted to be. "Okay, we're here, laying in a bush when I have like a bajillion things to do."

"Like dude, you know that's an exaggeration." The tush laugh or at least Tom did. The demon boy stare out of the bush. "You have at most only a gazillion things to do. Come on, relax. Star has a whole kingdom of servants to deal with it. Besides all that junk is below a demon lord." Tom sat back, sitting on his knees as he turned back to Marco.

"Temporary demon lord." Marco corrected.

Tom waved him lazily. "Whatever, now check this out." Inching a bit to the right, Tom reached out and pushed away a branch of the shrub. The light poked through and Marco stared through it.

"Front gate, only two guards." True enough. There was the high walls of some type of fortress. In front of it on each side of iron bars was a heavily armored guy with a halberd. Monsters Marco could describe them, though he knew that wasn't the correct term. They were demons as Tom knew them. "Easy. Let's take them down."

"Or we could not announce that we're here." Marco quickly pointed out. "If we go knocking on the front door, who knows how many guys are will come and answer. We should circle around and scout out the area and you are already halfway to those goons aren't you?"

There was the sound of a jet engine. The soles of Tom's feet ignited. Arms wide, he slammed one guy right into the stone brick surface of the wall.

Marco sighed. "I could've sworn your name was Tom and not Star."

"Oh sorry, did that hurt?" Tom smiled as he began to lift himself up from his makeshift pillow. Said pillow tried to swipe at the prince with it's weapon, forcing Tom to let out a chuckle as he dodged swiftly. "Apparently not as much as I thought."

"Tom, you really couldn't wait a second?" Marco ran to his friend's developing brawl. In the time it took him, the other guard had time to ready himself and charged, making Tom to move back to face off against both him and his revived comrade. He didn't look too bothered.

One of them lifted they're halberd. As Tom turned to his friend, he casually caught it. "Hey Marco, I'm trying to save you a dude, but he keeps trying to draw aggro from me. You're gonna fight, cause I can take them both if you don't want to?" His opponent struggled with all his might to free his tool of death away from the young man. He got his wish and when Tom loosened his grip the soldier fell back. It did prove Tom's point. "Seriously."

Marco looked away from his friend to the other armored fighter. "I don't suppose you want to like talk it out." He offered.

His enemy gripped his weapon with both hands.

"Ya," Marco shrugged, "That usually doesn't work."

The blade cut the air where Marco's neck was just a second before. A fist flew forward and steel didn't bend but flowed. Whatever metal the demon's chest plate was smith from yielded to Marco's fist and the monster, a fish man bent over.

It was the perfect set up for the uppercut.

Both Tom and the other guardsman separated as a flying body flew in between them. It took a moment to register to the two of them, but when it did Tom smiled, silently bragging and taunting the guard. If Marco was going to end it quick than he could only return the favor.

He lifted his hands and the flames lit up his hands all the way to his sleeves. With a motion, pillars shot out drilling into the guardsman. Melting the joints of his armor, welding it unmovable.

Tom shook his hands like he was drying water of them and the flames dies out. He proudly looked over the downed guards "Okay. Good time, good time. That's why I named you Lord."

"I thought it was because you didn't have a choice." Marco didn't have to try hard to remember Tom admitting to having no other friends.

"You are being a real downer today." Tom whined but considering that Marco was doing him a favor he couldn't be much else.

"So how are you planning on getting in?" Marco looked at the gate. It was tall, so tall that standing next to it blocked the sun from his vision.

Tom thought about it and he had a solution. Reaching in front of him he gripped the air. The sky grew dark, filling with storm clouds where there was before an empty sky. There was a roar of thunder and then another and another before a single bolt fell like a drop of rain in front of them. The ground tore apart, opening like the mawl of a shark. Lifted from the open scar of the dirt, a axe, flaming and brimming with dark energy.

Tom held it, and after lifting his arms allowed it to drop as if he was cutting firewood. It sliced the gate the entire way through.

"Oh right." Marco had to admit that the problem got solved real quick.

"Come on." Tom bounced the hilt of the axe off ground, treating it like an extra long, extra pointy walking stick.

Marco eyes grew wide, "Wait Tom, wouldn't there be more guys-" He hurries after his friend and very quickly discovered that there was a boat load of knights in the joint. "Ya, that's what I thought."

Marco stepped back. He didn't travel as much as he wanted but it was still enough to avoid the sword aimed at his face. It didn't take long to realized what had stopped his retreat. He was back to back with Tom who was busy with his own laundry list of foes. Marco could think of worse times to start a conversation. "So who's house are we crashing exactly?"

"Just some guy named Er-" Tom did a 180 spin, switching places with Marco as he halted someone's dagger with the hilt of his axe. "Ernie? Ernest?" He twisted and the knife was quickly dropped. He head butted them. "Dunno just some guy who always complaining to my folks about tradition this and tradition that. Always seemed to have it out for me."

Marco backheaded a axe away from him. "Guess you do things different."

"Nah. That's not it. I trampled his garden a couple centuries ago," Tom reeled back a foot which he planted into a giant sized man's gut. "Anyway, the guy has a big dumb face and he looks weak so it'll be smooth sailings."

Marco lifted his next enemy and the duo traded places once more as the karate kid flung him away. "You call this smooth?"

Tom scoffed. "Please, you've haven't even broken a sweat."

There was some truth in that. As they traded back and forth neither had to pay much attention to the fight itself. Marco was acting automatically. "Doesn't matter, it's not like I want to risk my neck just so you can show up some grumpy old man."

"You say with a smile on your face."

"Shut up." Marco said, breathing out as he tried to reset his expression.

"Who is causing a ruckus on my front lawn." A shrill voice broke the conversation. It was from above. The actual castle itself had a balcony with twin doors that probably entered a bedroom or a dining area. Either way there was someone looking down at them.

Tom knew it was the target. Marco could figure it base on the small description given to him. A big face, a really big face. Marco didn't think it was possible to survive with like 90% face but it must be, because the lord of the castle was standing and talking like it was natural.

The face glared at them and Marco realized that he was staring back. He coughed, "That would be us, just two ruckus causers."

The man was looking past the earth boy however, straight at the prince. "Tom."

"Hey, lord." Tom wanted to speak smugly, but stopped as he pondered, "I want to say 'Error.'"

"It's Lord Erta. Erta Ale." The man tried to rant but his voice was too cartoony to take seriously, "Now what do you think you're doing here you? Do you honestly think you would be welcome back to my humble abode after you wrecked it?"

"Huh" Marco turned to Tom. "He really is holding a grudge against you just for a garden."

"Well to be honest it was only a century ago-" Tom rubbed the back of his head. He smiled nervously, "-and a decade ago. Also Star and I, the other day, egged his house, but that was really really funny." He relaxed remembering a particularly good time.

"Enough" Erta Ale interrupted the memory, "Take your friend ruffian and get off lawn."

Tom snorted, "Way to sound like an old man."

"Off." The talking head pointed behind them to the broken gate.

"Sorry can't. Came here to kick your ass. Gotta get my princely duties cleaned up, it's a chore really." Tom tried to sound bored, maybe even cocky but instead he sounded excited.

"Taking thing seriously." For a second it looked like the giant face considered giving the prince a sliver of respect. That moment passed quickly. "Doesn't matter. Not like you'll actually make it all the way inside. It's better if someone like you never takes the throne." With a spin of his heels the lord of the castle waddled back inside.

"Hey Marco." Tom eyes followed the retreating figure.

So did Marco's. "Ya Tom."

"Let's kick his ass." The demon glared at the form he could no longer see. His voice low.

Marco considered it and then shrugged. "Sure."

"Empty." The main entrance was light. Light, enough that Marco was able to push it aside as he pokes his hand in. Scanning wall to wall for danger he couldn't see much. It was poorly lit, with lights scattered sparsely, but what he could see looked impressive enough.

Smooth stone, banners here and there. A lord definitely lived there.

Tom pushed passed him. The door creaked as it opened wider. "Everyone worth beating must've been outside."

"I'm dunno. Guy was pretty sure we wouldn't make it to him."

The two wandered down. The halls was very lineral. There was no getting lost. Marco stopped and so did Tom who chest bounce off the kid's back. "See, there is someone." Marco whispered.

"Yo." The man, as the got closer they could see looked like he had a bat head. That wasn't a 'bat's head'. His head looked like an entire bat, wings and all, though it was definitely attached to his neck like a normal head. No worries about it flying out without his body. The man looked bored, greeting Marco casually like he wasn't an intruder. He brought his gaze up to the other guy and did the same, "Lord Tom."

"Yo, dude." Tom tapped Marco's arm as his voice grew excited. He pointed at this particular guard. "It's Sangay, how you doing buddy?"

"Who dis?" Marco could only ask.

"Sangay works here. He's pretty chill. Usually just lets me do whatever." Tom waved his arm as to empathize 'whatever'.

Marco looked at the guards. Unlike the other knights he wasn't wearing any armor just plain brown clothes. "He sounds bad at his job.

The man started to palm the wall.

"Ya, it's awesome." Tom turned his head. "Yo, hey what're doing?"

Sangay, had his hands on a lever just right by his head. "Erta made me walk down here. He wanted me to like pull this thing whenever you guys step right there."

"Right here?" Tom pointed to his feet.

"Ya." Sanjay confirmed. He started to tug.

Tom nudged Marco and the two walked slowly to the side. The guard dragged on the lever, barely trying to bring it down.

About half the floor made a click and a obvious slit appeared. As he pushed it down more it began to open up slowly. With a small grunt Sanjay had the switch all the way down and in the center of the hallway was a gaping square. "Got it." The man confirmed.

"Huh" Marco looked at the trap they had been standing on top of minutes before. "That was kind of disappointing."

"Ya, that wouldn't had worked even if Sanjay told us about it." Tom laughed. "Did the guy forget I could fly?"

Marco turned away from Tom and strolled over to the gray skinned demon. "So hey, you're gonna like, try and stop us?"

"I was just told to pull the lever. I pulled the lever." Sanjay leaned back against the wall. "I'm done for the day."

"Great" Tom clapped his hands, before pointing further down the hall. "Wanna hang while we trash the rest of big head's castle?"

Sanjay looked at Tom and after muttering "I don't have anything better to do." He shrugged.

Erta Ale sat on his throne, surrounded by guards. Any moment one of two things would happened. Sangay would come in to report the containment of the invaders or the attackers would barge in. He had no doubt that his brilliant stratagem had worked, but he wasn't a true demon if he was careless.

There was a knock at the door. The lord of the castle. His eyes focused on the wooden and before gripping his throne, waved his massive chin through the air in the general direction of his guards.

The knight backhanded the door with her gauntlet. "Who is it?"

She got an answer. "Delivery."

"Boss, it's a delivery." She lifted her head and relayed the message.

"Are you serious. We're being invaded" The face couldn't believed that he had to spell it out. Then again. He thought for a moment. "and I definitely didn't order anything."

The guardswoman nodded and brought her ear back to the door before barking, "We didn't order nothing."

"It's, um. A promotional thing?" The voice on the other side explained/asked.

"Oh, really?" The guard blinked.

There was a long pause before the door reaffirmed. "Yes."

"They say it's a promotion thing." The guardswoman explained. "What you handing out."

"Knuckle sandwiches." Her skull met the combined force of a freight train mixed with the primary hand of a teenage boy who has spent many nights alone. It was safe to say that it was an instant knockout as it reduced the door to splitters.

Two boys stood at the sawdust remains.

A three figure wasn't far behind them "Erta, they got in."

The worst thing about having a giant head was that you suffered from giant migraines. "I can see that Sangay."

"Hey, Erta. Remember when I said this was a chore?" Tom let out a big toothy grin. "Cause I'm about ready to take out the trash."

"You're about a millennium away from even thinking about it." The face lifted his nose at the pair. "Guards, seize them."

Marco looked at Tom. Tom looked at Marco and the two flew into action. Marco went high with the jump kick and Tom assisted him with a low fiery tackle. The two assaulted the middle of the guard's formation until all of them melded into a giant tornado of violence.

The lord looked over the chaos to his servant. "Sangay, aren't you going to help."

The man rolled his eyes before resting his shoulder on the door frame. "Stop, halt, freeze."

Erta looked just a tiny bit miffed. "I don't know why I keep you around."

"Isn't it because of my fantastic personality?" The bat faced man broke into a smirk.

"Touche."

"I'm going to destroy you." A man brought his hammer down only for it to be caught by a foot of all things.

Marco stood balanced on one leg, and with one motion pushed the maul back, unbalancing the adversary. "You can try."

"Did I hear trash talking?" Tom turned his neck to Marco. "I knew it. You are definitely having a blast."

"I'm." Marco started his defense, but figured that saving Tom's skin took priority. Grabbing the prince by the shoulder he moved him to safety before using that momentum to spin off him and shoot a heel right into some poor guy's third eye. "Watch out."

"Okay. Okay I see you beat up a few of my men." Either of the two realized until Erta had said it, but they took down all his men pretty quickly. "Impressive, but you must be remember that none of them are the lord of the castle. I am."

The demon began to glow with a malicious force. "Now punk. You shall see the the power that I have amassed over the millenniums as I shear your flesh from your bones and ow ow that hurts."

Tom pinched down on the bridge of Erta's nose and pulled. "Ah ah, those are your nails. Your nails." He had lifted his fingers into his nostrils scratching the inside of it.

Marco dropped his guard. "So does this mean we won?"

"You stretching my nosils out."

"Ya basically." Tom confirmed.

"I'll get you, you brat."

"Neat." Marco gave a small cheer.

"No. No. I refused to hand this castle over to someone like you." The gigantic mug started to thrash in Tom's grip. "This is a castle meant for real demons. Not whatever you are, you-"

He started saying more but couldn't as he kissed the flat of Tom's axe. The prince clicked his teeth as the force of his blow embedded the demon into the opposite wall.

Marco whined. "Ouch."

"Let's head out." Tom didn't ask, but demanded. His spine grew ridged as he turned back to the door.

Marco reached for him. "Hey Tom, are you-"

Tom turned back. He looked down on the downed bodies. "Oh, before I forget, Sangay is in charge now. Any of you guys who are still conscious, spread the word." The prince looked at the bat, "Yo, you can handle that, right? I didn't really ask."

Sangay considered it before nodding. "It's cool. I'll get this place squared away."

They didn't really talk as the retracted their steps. Super awkward, considering that Marco felt like he started this trip with a bad mood but the thing seemed to have spread over to his friend. "So hey Tom, do you want to talk about what happened there or-"

"Lord Tom. Mister Diaz, now isn't this a surprise." Perfect timing. Absolutely wanted to get interrupted right at that moment.

" ?" Marco cocked his to the side. "Aren't you supposed to back at Echo Creek?"

"Aren't you?" Marco flinched by the older gentleman smiled, taking any sting out of the question. Candle explained "I was stationed there as part of Lord Tom's wishes to keep a watchful eye on you and Princess Butterfly. No Star however means that my tenure there ended." Candle took a deep breath. "I do once again want to apologize for the career day fiasco."

"No problem." Honestly Marco had forgotten about it the second Tom let him back home.

"Garbage man. How ridiculous was that." Candle laughed. "Look at you now, a young lord. Moving up in the world, aren't you?" Candle eyes shifted a bit. "Lord Tom, while you were finishing your business with Lord Erta I made preparations that will help you, moving forward. I am prepared to demonstrate as soon as you are ready." The servant gave a bow.

"Great" Tom paused for a moment before smiling. "Thanks Candle."

"It is my pleasure Master Tom." He returned a grin of his own before turning, a portal opening in front of him. He stepped through.

"He's happy." Marco pointed out.

"Ya, he is." Tom nodded. "Guess we did good."

"So, I'm gonna head out." Marco reached out his pocket and lifted his scissors.

He didn't move an inch further before Tom hooked his arm around Marco's neck. "Wait dude. You can't leave yet. We still got like a ton of things to do."

"Well we took the castle." Marco pointed out.

"And we got a bunch more to go." Tom exclaimed. "Candle won't let me do this by myself and you saw how he was. We can't break his heart."

"Don't you got that Sangay guy on your side now?" Marco wondered out loud.

"You've seen him on the defensive. Can you honestly see him sieging with me." Tom raised an eyebrow and Marco had to concede that it was one hell of a point. Tom continued. "And besides, he's gonna be too busy in the former Castle de Erta to watch my back."

"Ya, I guess that makes sense, but I really do have to get back to Star." It was a weak protest, token in nature.

"Come on man, Star won't miss you for one day and it's not even the afternoon yet in Mewni." Tom opened up a portal of his own. "Besides you're a lord now. You're really gonna quit before you even experience any of the perks?"

"Perks?"

In retrospect once I reread what I wrote. I was so focus on showing that Marco was into the fighting that I didn't play up one of the best elements of Disgaea. The crack. Needs more crack. More crack next chapter.