Connie and I sit at the breakfast table. She's eating pancakes, smothered in syrup. She continues to put more on them.

"That's enough dear." I take away her syrup. She frowns.

"But they taste bad mommy." She says. I sigh.

"Then don't ask for them." I say.

"I want eggs and bacon." She protests. I look down at my plate. Scrambled eggs, and bacon. I couldn't let the child starve. I put some of my food on her plate.

"Yay!" She cheers, she eats the bacon with her fingers, getting syrup everywhere. I take a napkin, and wipe away the mess. She chuckles, her cheeks rosy. Her little square teeth showing.

"I'll have to tell your father about how messy you are." I smile, stroking her cheek.

She whines, before seeing my smile, she then smiles at me back. "You won't!" She laughs.

"Oh but I will!" I tease her, "I'll tell him when he gets back!"

She shakes her head. "Nuh uh!" She folds her arms. She then pauses. I raise my eyebrow.

"What are you thinking about dear?" I ask her.

"Dad, have you talked to him?" She asks, her green eyes twinkling. I shake my head, I haven't talked to my husband in 3 weeks. But I did get a letter, I haven't opened it yet. Connie's twinkling eyes vanish. "Oh." She hangs her head.

"He'll call soon, I promise." I say. Rubbing her shoulder. She smiles weakly.

I am not worried, but just a little put off by the fact he has not called. He, however, did write. I would read it once I got to my office. It has been close to two months, it's almost time for him to come home. I wonder how his first night back will go. Probably lots of sleeping. I have missed him in our bed. It seems so empty without him. It still smells of him, even after a good wash. I suppose it is just my mind playing tricks on me. Later on that evening I sit at my desk, reading the letter Sam had sent me.

Dear Integra,

I'm sorry I have not called, it is getting to the point to where I can't without causing a security concern. The bill is being very close to pass, and I have been in my hotel room for a few days now, and I am only allowed to leave when I am heavily guarded. I feel as if I am going insane. I miss your voice, I miss your smell, and I miss your touch, I miss your hair, your skin, your laugh, it's been quite the struggle over the past to months. But I will be home soon, the 15th of February. I hope Constance is doing well, I am sure she misses me, I miss her little face, I can't wait to hug her so tight, and tell her I love her in person. I hope she hasn't given you much trouble. I know she can be a pout at times. But, to make this short and sweet, I miss you, and I love you both, I'll see you the 15th.

Yours forever

Sam

I hold the note close to me, reading it over and over again, savoring the lasting words. I hear footsteps down the hallway, they sound of you, clunky taps against the stone floor. I hear a soft knock on my door. I can sense you behind that door, I don't want to see you, but oddly enough, I give in.

"Come in." I say in a low tone. You enter. Walk over to me slowly, each step an agonizing echo. "What do you want?" I ask, not turning to you.

"Your thoughts are troublesome, my master."

I sigh. "You say that a lot."

"Then, stop having troublesome thoughts." You retort. I finally turn to you. Furrowing my brow. "You miss him." You state.

"Well of course I do." I say, folding my arms. I see you grin.

"He'll be home soon."

"Have you been rummaging in my thoughts again?" I ask, not offended.

"Even if the bond is broken, there is still our Master and Servant connection." You say, I nod in acknowledgement.

"That doesn't make it okay." I say.

"Well, I can't help it." You say, "It's not like I want to. It's not like I want to invade your thoughts. Do you know how many times I would rather not? Quite plenty. Every time Samuel touches you, or lays with you. Your mind explodes into a million fragments into my cursed ears. It's like you want to watch me suffer." You sneer.

"I don't like to watch you suffer, it's not my choice, I can't stop thinking all together. I'm not some sadistic witch you paint me out to be. I will continue to have thoughts of love and lust until the day I die!" I exclaim. You sigh.

"Integra." Your eyes soft, and sad. I almost feel sympathy. I approach you.

"What?" I ask.

"You are transparent."

I roll my eyes. "I suppose I am."

"If you didn't want me in here," You say, reading my thoughts. "Why did you tell me to come in?" You cock your head.

"I don't know, loneliness? Boredom?" I say. "I am spoiled to your presence."

"I know you are." You say. "Use me, abuse me, whatever you wish."

"I won't do that!" I yell, my hands clenched in fists.

"I beg you." your voice quiet. "It would be a blessing." You bare your teeth.

"You sick puppy." I say, my hand stroking your cheek, my voice course. "So obsessed to the point of pain. It's like learned helplessness." I smile gently.

You purr underneath my hand, you take my hand in yours. "Please master, please?"

I sigh, step closer, I wrap my arms around your next, embracing you. I look at you with indifference. "You long for me?" I ask. You nod. I kiss you softly, your lips, soft and cool. It only lasts three seconds. I pull away. My heart fills with guilt. I turn away.

"Get. out." I sneer. I hear no protest from you, leave immediately.

_

Oddly enough, I wear a smile on my face the next day. I write Samuel. Hoping it reaches him. I am between apathy and guilt. What harm is a simple kiss? Bonding or not, I knew I couldn't escape from you. No matter how far I run, no matter how many times I bed with my husband, you will always be there, waiting, watching, like a vulcher. I don't hate you for it anymore, it is what it is. I'm done fighting. I'll let the wave of temptations and sin whisk me out to sea, and let me drown. Maybe one night the two of you could take turns, with me, or at the sametime. Or maybe I'll just be by myself, like I deserve. Maybe I could convice Sam to share, no, no, he would surely divorce me, take away Connie, and leave nothing behind.

Oh god, what am I thinking? How sick am I? MY husband is away on a dangerous business trip, and I am here kissing my servant. What is wrong with me? I put my head in my hands, and rub my face. I would need to tell Sam when he gets back. I feel nauseous, everything, dizzy, my own guilt consuming me, I barely make it to the bathroom in time to puke. I sit on the floor for awhile. Thinking of what it's going to happen when I see Sam next. Maybe I would be too cowardly to say anything, too afraid to lose the life I have built for myself. I swallow hard.

"Sir Integra?" I hear Walter's voice. "Sir Integra?"

"I'm in here." I call from the bathroom, still on the floor, Walter knocks.

"Come in." I say. He does so, very quietly. He quirks his eyebrow.

"Sir Integra?" he questions. "Are you all right?" He asks, kneeling before me.

"Yes, I just have an upset stomach." I smile weakly. Walter helps me up.

"I'll call the Family doctor, and see if he'll be here tomorrow." He says, rubbing my shoulder, I nod. "Anyways, Samuel is on the phone, and I put him on hold."

I perk up, my husband. I quickly go to my office, and pick the phone. Walter comes in after me.

"Sam?" I say.

"Hey Honey." I can hear his smile through the phone, and I couldn't help but curl the corners of my mouth.

"I got your letter." I say gently.

"Good, I'll be home soon just hang tight. I can only talk to you for a little bit."

"I'll take it." I say.

"Great, now, how was your day?" He asks. I swallow, the kiss, I would wait until he got home for that.

"It was fine, a bit quiet for my taste, but just fine."

"Heh, just fine hm? Well i'm glad you aren't having an extraordinary days without me." he teases.

"Oh? Is that's so?" I chuckle. "Well I suppose we'll have to talk about this later."

"I suppose we will." I pause.

"How is Connie?" He asks. I smile.

"She's all right. She misses you."

"Awe, well, I miss her too." he says. "How is her schooling?" He asks.

"She's been doing well, but she's been having a hard time paying attention." I say.

"Ah, she's just growing up." He says, "Sitting there in a library for 3 hours can't be fun for a 6 year old."

Hm. That's right, she is 6. She was only a toddler when I met her, now she is a young child.

"Maybe we should send her to an actual private school." I state, "if this keeps up, I'm not sure i'll be able to handle it. "

"Oh, she's just growing up." he waves me off. I sigh.

"Well, I'll see if the doctor can evaluate her, he's coming tomorrow."

"Wait, what?" He snaps. "Why is the doctor coming?"

"Nothing to do with Connie, I threw up. So Walter is seeing if the doctor can evaluate me, and i'll see if he can't evaluate Connie as well."

Samuel sighs.

"I suppose. But are you feeling all right?" He asks, concerned.

"Well, I feel fine." I say. "But it's just a precaution."

"Okay, well, just don't overwork yourself? Okay?"

I chuckle. "I'll be fine." I say.

"Okay, well, I have to go. I love you, and tell Connie I love her too."

"I will, I love you too. Goodbye."

"Goodbye," He says, gently, "I'll call you." Then he hangs up.

I sigh. The quietness taking over before Walter speaks up.

"Is everything okay?" Walter asks me.

"Yeah, just call the doctor."

_

The next day, I sit in a small examination room on the first floor. I look at my feet, sitting on the examination My doctor checks my throat. then my temperature, Then my knees.

"Can you take off your jacket?" He asks. I nod. I take it off, he sticks his stethoscope down my shirt, checking my heart.

"Breathe in," he tells me, I do so. "Now breathe out." I breathe out slowly. "Good." he says. He then checks my kidneys.

"Everything sounds fine. But you're breath is a bit shallow, have you thought about quitting smoking?"

I roll my eyes.

"Okay, okay." he says politely. "Anyways, aside from your shallow breath, you sound fine, now, I want to take some blood." He say. I swallow. I hate needles.

"Okay, how long will this take?" I ask.

"Ten minutes." He answers me. I shrug. "I'll be right back." He says. I nod. He comes back moments later with a blue tray, 3 vials, and a needle with a tiny tube.

I relax, rolling up my sleeve. He disinfects the area, and pokes in the needle with blue, rubber gloved hands. I wince, but soon relax when the blood seeps in the vials, filling them quickly. Once he was done. He took them away, putting them in a tiny box. And put a thick bandage on my wound.

"Now, i'll call you back when your test results come in." he says.

"What are you going to test for?" I ask.

"Everything, Sir." he says. "Diseases, disorders, everything."

I chuckle. "All right. Thank you Doctor." i thank him, standing. I wobble a little. "Oh."
He goes to catch me, but then stops when I catch myself.

He puts on his coat. "All right, I'll have your results in a few hours."

"Thank you, good day." I wave to him.

"Good day." he straightens, then he leaves.

I sit in my office, awaiting for the doctor to call. I wasn't really sure why, he wouldn't find anything, I threw up because I was disgusted with my behavior. Today isn't a particular entertaining day. Nothing to keep my mind off of the obvious. I could call you up, but I dare not, I wouldn't want a repeat. Walter comes in. Will a tea cart. My eyes brighten.

"good afternoon, sir Integra, I got something for you." he smiles.

"And what's that?"

"I got you some herbal tea, it's suppose to settle the stomach."

I sit my chin up on my hand. "How thoughtful." I say, "Did you get it when you went into town today?"

He nods, pouring me a cup, and putting the tea bag in. The steam rising from the hot liquid, I take a sip, the cup hot in my hand, but I didn't care.

The phone rings, Walter stands, straight, looking at the phone. I sit down my cup, picking up the phone.

"Who is it?" I ask, deadpan.

"Hello, good afternoon, Sir, I have your results."

Oh, that was fast. "Yes, what are they?" I ask.

"Well nothing serious, but you are slightly anemic."

"Oh, I see." I say. "But I don't feel dizzy, or fatigue."
"Well, not all people who are anemic experience symptoms, I think it has developed quite recently."

"Oh? Why do you think that?" I ask.

"Are you sitting down?" He asks me.

"Yes."

"Okay, well because, you are pregnant." He says.

My mouth goes dry. What? How? How could this be? My husband has been away for two months, how did I not experience any symptoms?

"There is no way, my husband has been away for two months. And I'm one birth control."

"Some women don't experience any symptoms until later on, and birth control isn't 100% effective." he says. "Now, i'm filling you out a perception for the prenatal vitamin. Good day, sir." he hangs up.

I drop the phone on my desk, almost knocking over the tea cup under my chin. Walter comes to my side.

"What's wrong?" He asks, worried. I don't answer him right away.

"I'm pregnant." I pause. "A new one will be introduced to our family."