Connie and I sit together at lunch time. The winter sun shining through the kitchen. She sits, eating a sandwich Walter made her. She eats it happily, her cheek rosy, and she smiled as she ate. Humming a little cowboy song her father would sing to her. I just watch her, nervous, not because of her, I wonder when Samuel would call. My hand on my stomach as I bounce my knee. Sam should call by 5, at the latest. I look down at Connie, a give her a smile. I wonder if I should tell her now, or when Sam comes home. I wonder how she would react if she knew she was going to have a little brother or sister. Since she had always been an only child, I'm sure her ability to share love and attention would be very poor. At least at first.
"Mommy, as dad called?" Connie asks. I blink.
"No, he hasn't, but i'm sure he'll call tonight. Want to stay up with me?" I ask her.
She nods happily. "Okay." I smile, resting my hand under my chin. My elbow rests on the metal table.
She finishes her meal, and pushes the empty plate away. "I'm full." She tells me.
"What would you like to do?" I ask her.
"Can I color in the library?" She asks. I nod, taking her by the hand. I lead her to the library, taking her to her little table she uses to draw and color. I sit on a brown recliner, watching her, my arms across my chest. She draws a tall man, black hair, I assume it is her father. I shut my eyes, and tilt my head back, I feel tired. I start to feel a nap creeping in and consuming me. I drift off into a twilight sleep, the clock that hung on the wall, ticked in my head, over and over, still keeping me on the edge of consciousness. But before I could completely fall asleep, Connie's voice echoed in my mind.
"Mommy!" She exclims. I sit up, blinking.
"Yes dear?"
"Lookie! Lookie!" She says, hoping on my lap, she shoves a piece of paper in my face, I take it, and look at it closely. Oh, no. No. No! I put it down on the arm of the chair, giving Connie a blank, defeated expression.
"What was your inspiration for this?" I ask the little girl.
"My dreams!" Connie says, "I see this in my dreams," She looks down, a slight smile on her face, she twinkled in delight as she told me this. "He comes to me in my dreams."
Rage fills me, and I am shaking. I want to smack you, and to spit at you. You stupid dog!
"Do you see him, in real life?" I ask, trying to sound kind.
She shakes her head, and I am in relief. But why are you in her dreams, servant? What are you doing?
"How about a nap, hm?" I suggest to her. "Are you tired?" I rub her shoulders. She nods, and yawns
"Yes, mommy." She says, leaning on me. I grab her, taking her to her room, laying her down on her bed before kissing her on the forehead. "30 minutes." I says. She nods before closing her eyes. I leave, taking her picture with me. I go to my office and sit down, I call in Walter.
He soon comes, hands clasps in front of him, his face pleasant.
"Yes, sir?" He asks, approaching my desk.
I push the paper on my desk to where he could see it, he leans down.
"What's this?" He asks, curious, giving me a puzzled look.
"It's Alucard, drawn by my 6 year old daughter."
His mouth gaps open slightly. "Oh." Is all he could say. "Well, in defense of Alucard, Connie does roam at night."
"Apparently, She sees him in her dreams." I say.
"Maybe, she can sense him, children, are sort of attune to the supernatural."
"I wonder if she could sense Seras is a vampire as well if that is the case." I say. My irritation ceases, but I am still upset.
"Maybe, but Connie certainly doesn't know they exist."
"Maybe it's time to tell her." I say.
"Can you trust her?"
"I'm not sure."
"Seras," I say, looking at her, her back turned to me. My arms crossed. "Look at me Seras."
She turns to me, blinking. "Sorry.." She says weakly. Her hands behind her back. "Yes Sir Integra?"
"Have you been doing anything 'unhuman' in front of Connie?" I ask, trying not to sound accusing.
She shakes her, giving me a concerned and confused look. "No, not at all." She tells me. "What's wrong?" She asks.
"Nothing, just being sure." I uncross my arms.
"Ok-ay." Her voice slightly off, and she looks off to the side, then back at me. "Is there anything else I can help with?" She says with a smile, her smile making me less tense. t
"No," I smile slightly back. "Sorry, I just need to distract myself." Which wasn't a lie exactly. I did need a distraction. But I still wanted to know why Connie was drawing pictures of Alucard.
She gives me smiles eyes, "You're worried about him, aren't you?"
I sigh, a little upset with myself, "Yes, I am." I say. "It's 3:30 and he still hasn't called."
"It's only mid morning over in the states, isn't it? Just give him time." She continues, "You'll be fine, i'm sure he'll call right before you're going to sleep." She smiles brightly, and it made me oddly reassured.
"I suppose you're right." I releant. But, to my debtrement he did not call, and he did not call that morning. I try again and again to call the number he gave me, but nothing. It lead to nothing. I had Walter do thorough research into the situation, but nothing. Nothing to come. I kept giving Connie Excuses, but I could only do that for so long, I was running out of them. I sit in my office, the day, cloudy. But it did not smell of rain. The sky looms over me, the heaviness of the sky brings pressure to my head and neck.
"Sir?" Walter's voice itches in my ear. I look up, phone in his hand.
"Yes?" I say, plainly.
"Samuel's brother called, he's wondering if you had heard from him?" Walter asks.
I shake my head. "No. I haven't." I say.
"Oh, dear." Walter leaves my office. I didn't even notice he came in. Hm. I stand up, and I go to the small din downstairs, looking out the window as I sit in the chair. The sky seems to become heavier upon me.
"Master." I hear your voice coming from behind me. I turn to you, not saying anything. I turn back to look outside. "Such a warm welcome." I hear you say. I turn back to once more.
"What is it? What do you want from me, i'm quite busy?" I state, folding my arms.
"Busy with what? You don't look busy." You say, stepping forward. I look out the window.
"With my thoughts, Alucard, i'm busy with thoughts."
"Are they troubling you?" You ask, kneeling down by my side.
"Well, i'm sure you can tell pet." I spit out. I can feel your grin. I roll my eyes.
"You troubles you master."
"You." I snip. You back off, I ease.
"Surely that is not the case." You caress my forearm, I jerk it away.
"If you must know," I exhale out of my nose. "My husband hasn't called, and it's been almost a day." I say. Readjusting in my chair. "I'm worried, naturally." I blink, trying not to show any emotion. "And you have some explaining to do."
"It's not my fault!" you exclaim.
"No, no, It's.." I trial off. "Connie, she drew a picture of you today, and I can't figure way she would."
"She has only seen bits and pieces of me, you know, I can't always control it. But children have an extra sense, it's like they know, without knowing. I'm sure she knows about Seras as well."
I sigh. "Just be careful." I put my hand on your forearm. I look down at your hand, then your shoulder, and up to your face.
"I promise." You say, your hand over mine. "I'll be more careful."
"Good." I say, looking out the window again.
"Master, if I may be so bold, do you think Samuel is hurt?" You ask. I tense.
"I don't know." I admit. "It is possible." I squeeze your forearm. "I told him not to go, I told him not to go, and he did anyway, he told me it would be dangerous."
"You need to understand, master, he has a duty, just like you. You must understand he is your equal. You love him, you want to protect him. Now, imagine, if your father was like that, how far could you have gotten?"
I swallow, you're right. You're always right. No matter how hard I try to deny your right, you always are.
"I suppose your right. I shouldn't hover." I state, turning to you. I see your eyes flicker with surprise.
"Sir Integra?" You question.
"Yes?" I say, with a gentle smile.
"Are you okay? You're heart is beating really fast."
I slowly inch away. "Uh, i'm just nervous is all."
You didn't know. You truly didn't know the tiny life grow within me.
"Oh," Your hand rubs the top of mine. I can't help but move closer.
"Well, it's not that, it's something, nevermind." I shake my head. You give me strange look, you open your mouth you speak, but Walter comes bursting through the door.
"Sir Integra!" Walter exclaims. Both you and I jump up, turning to Walter. "It's about Samuel." He says urgently, a phone in his hand. I grab it, going into my office for privacy.
"Who is this?"
"Hello, is the Integra Hellsing?"
"Yes, this is her."
"I'm calling about your spouse, Samuel Leigh Zimmerman? Is he your spouse."
My heart drops, sweat beats on my brow.
"Yes." I swallow.
"Well you're husband is dead, he's been shot." The male voice tells me. I blink. What? No, no, no, Impossible! My heart falls out of my chest, my eyes stare widely out the window, a drop of rain hits it, and slowly drizzles down. No, this isn't possible.
"What happened?" Is all I can mange.
"He was going into a meeting, and someone got past security." The voice explains.
"I see," I stiffen.
"We are currently investing the sittion, Ma'am, I am terribly sorry." The voice says.
I swallow hard, then ask, "And just who am I speaking with?"
"Detective Bradley. My apologies." He pauses. "Anyways, we are currently contacting family members and friends, so you don't have to, I know it can be hard relaying the message, but we got it covered." He says.
"All right." I say, almost robotic.
"All right, now, the body will be sent home after the investigation is over with. I'm terribly sorry, Ma'am, is there anything my department can do for you?"
"No." My voice hollow, and empty. "I have to go."
"Okay, ma'am, again, if there is anything you need, please, let us know. Goodbye."
"Goodbye." I hang up.
I feel my stomach, that life within me, will grow up without a father, he got me pregnant and left. Without a warning, he is gone, just gone. Oh god, Connie, what's going to happen to her? How can I tell her, her father is dead? How I am going to raise this child without him?
I begin to feel sick, my head spinning, I go back to the din, sitting in the chair, the rain hitting the windows hard. Making hard, tiny tings.
You are still there, giving me a worried look.
"Integra are you all-" I cut you off.
"Samuel dead." I blurt out. I hear a tiny gasp come from you. "And I'm pregnant."
A long pause falls between us.
"I'm sorry, Integra."
The End.