After so long, I finally got the time to update. Sorry...
but please update...I mean...review...right.
Sorry, i'm listening to music...
The day went by quickly, yet I didn't have a reason to complain. When I went to visit the Cullens the next day, Wednesday, I was anxious about seeing Edward. Things had been pretty awkward yesterday with Jacob, who had started calling every hour to check on me. Though, he has started to get more optimistic when I arrived.
"Hi, Bella," he called, sprinting gracefully to where I was getting out of my truck. There was a wide smile on his face and I returned it willingly.
"Hi, Edward," I answered, closing the truck door behind me.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked with an angel's soft, velvet voice. His eyes seemed to sparkle even though the weather didn't allow the sun to show itself. It seemed like he was looking at the sun and it was reflecting of his eyes. He was beautiful. Instantly, I frowned at my sudden thought.
He misunderstood.
"You didn't have a good night?" he suggested, frowning in worry.
"Oh, no, I did!" I hurried to explain. "I was just suddenly thinking of something…weird."
He stared at me with curiosity.
"It wasn't about you," I lied quickly. I grimaced when even I could tell it was a lie.
His face turned almost tortured.
"Alice is waiting for you," he said in a flat tone. Turning, he walked away without a backward glance and disappeared into the trees.
With a feeling of guilt, I walked up onto the porch. The door was open so I went inside where Alice waited for me. There was a worried frown on her face, too. It looked as if she was concentrating on something.
"Alice?" I said.
She looked up quickly into my eyes. They were a darker color than yesterday.
"Bella…" She didn't say more.
"Yes?"
"Where is Edward?" she asked.
The guilt came back "He went outside to greet me, but I think I must have said something or done something He looked unhappy and walked somewhere into the trees. I'm sorry."
I thought I heard her mutter "I told him so".
"It's not your fault. He's just been feeling real frustrated about something. One of those things is your friend, Jacob," she confessed. She waited and I guessed she was expecting me to say something.
"Yeah, they didn't seem to get along very well. I wonder why that is, they barely met each other. There isn't a reason for them to dislike each other so quickly," I said.
She narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"
Maybe… I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it and shook my head. "I don't know."
I spent the whole day with Alice. Edward still wasn't back when I asked to use the phone to call Jacob.
The phone rang one time before Jacob answered. It was like he had been waiting for it to ring.
"Bella," he rejoiced happily.
"Hi, Jake. I called to make sure you were still up for the trip," I said.
"There was silence.
"Yeah, I'll be there. When was it again? Friday?"
"Friday really early," I informed.
"Okay, but how about you come down to La Push so you can give me all the information," he suggested hopefully.
"Uh, well, I can't go today, but I'll be there tomorrow," I promised.
"Okay," he said. "Love you, Bells." This was unexpected. Would I know how to respond?
"Love you, Jake," I replied, smiling so he wouldn't hear the confusion in my voice.
When I hung up, I realized I wasn't alone. Edward was standing only a few feet away, and I realized he must have heard my conversation with Jake. His expression was worse than before. The hurt in his eyes was hard to look at.
"I'm sorry," he whispered before leaving me alone to feel guilty all over again.
Alice came skipping to where I was. When she saw me she frowned.
"What did the dog, I mean that Jacob guy do?" she asked.
"Nothing. Edward just got back," I mentioned, and her eyes widened.
"Oh, well, that explains it. I'll be right back," she said.
I walked over to the front door and stared outside. The weather seemed to capture how I felt completely. Though, I worried it would start to rain hard again. I didn't think I could spend the night here today.
Someone's hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned to find Jasper behind me.
"Oh, hi, Jasper."
"Can I talk with you for a moment, Bella?" he asked.
"Sure," I agreed.
We went to sit in the living room. He looked at me and I looked back, confused.
"Bella, I just waned to ask you something. It may be sort of personal, and I am sorry if it makes you the least bit uncomfortable. I wanted to ask you about your feelings for Edward."
My mouth fell open. "What do you mean?" I asked after I had recovered.
"Your feelings are sometimes very confusing, but I an tell you feel something for"
"Jasper," Alice interrupted from the stairs leading up.
"Sorry, I should leave," he apologized, getting up and heading upstairs.
Alice came to where I sat, then, and took my hands. "I went to talk to Edward and he wants to talk to you," she informed me.
"He's not mad at me, is he?" I asked.
"Of course not! Now go speak to him before you have to leave. It's late already," she mentioned.
Was I supposed to go up to his room to talk to him?
"Um, I'll be right back, then," I said.
Walking up the two fights of stairs to get to Edward's room seemed to take forever. By the time I got to his door I thought I was about to combust. I was about to knock, but through the door, I could hear sweet, beautiful music. A soft gasp escaped my mouth. I almost forgot what I was even doing.
Then, the door opened in my face; my right hand was still in a position to knock. Edward was standing in front of me, beautiful as always, taking my breath away.
"Bella." He spoke my name, and it sounded beautiful coming from his lips.
"I…Alice said you wanted to speak to me," I replied.
"I do," he agreed.
We stood there for a long time staring at each other, doing nothing until he finally spoke. "Come in," he said.
I was unsure about what I should do, but I walked in. His room was very nice looking. There was a large bed, too. I noticed the pile of music to one side of the room, too.
When I heard the door close behind me, I gasped. I turned to look at him; he looked confused.
"Do you want me to leave it open?" he asked.
I thought about it for a moment. This was his room…He had to tell me something…It was better if we had some privacy.
"No, I don't mind," I answered.
"Sit," he offered, gesturing toward the bed.
I went to sit on the edge of the bed. It was dark in the room now that I noticed. I could still see Edward come and sit on the floor by my feet, though. He sighed. He wasn't looking at me when he spoke.
"Bella, I…don't know how to say this. I've tried telling you, but I can't seem to find the right words. The three simplest words…"-He turned to look at me-"…and I can't say them."
"You can tell me anything," I assured him. Unthinking, I touched his hair, feeling its softness. He grabbed my hand, then, but he didn't push it away. Instead, he brought it to his cheek. It was cold and hard, but it was soft like marble. I felt my heart accelerating.
He kneeled on his knees now, his head almost as high as mine…and so close.
"Bella, I…"
The door swung open. "Excuse me, am I interrupting anything? No, well, just checking on you. It's late, and I was wondering why Bella was still here," she said, her voice sounded innocent, but I could tell she was faking it.
I looked at Edward and he looked annoyed.
"Thank you, Rosalie," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"No problem," she said, laughing as she left, leaving us alone again.
"I think it is pretty late, so I think I better get going," I said, getting up. He still held my hand and quickly stood.
"Now? Can't you wait a while longer?" he pleaded.
"I wish I could, but I don't want Charlie to get angry at me or anything, but what you had to tell me…can you tell me Friday?" I said. I really did need to leave, but I didn't want to one bit!
"Sure," he answered.
I bit my lip. "Thank you." I stood on my toes to reach his cheek, but in the dark, instead of his cheek, I felt my lips graze against his. I froze.
One more day...and a half...
breaking Dawn is going to be great...
I have to go to Northeren Canada to go get Jacob, though.
Sorry, again.
I''ve read too much Twilight.
But it's worth it!!