"Oh, hey! So I've been reading a lot about philosophy, and it got me thinking… Consider the two sides of a coin. Are they aware of each other? Do they WANT to be aware of each other? What would the space in between look like to them? Would they be able to meet there, in a dream?" -Francine I. Kane, 201X-

Chapter 19: Stay Door-termined

As relieved as Toriel had been to know her daughter was fine, she still grounded Frisk for three days. Although leaving the tent had not been Frisk's idea, she should have known to turn on her c-phone if she was going somewhere with Sans. For that matter, she was not supposed to leave camp, at all! But if she was going to do so, anyway, she should have told someone she'd be going out, and who she would be with.

Frisk should have known better. Hence, she was not allowed to leave the tent without Toriel, and had her c-phone privileges revoked for the duration of her grounding. Frisk did not seem very bothered by that aspect of the punishment. In fact, she seemed somewhat relieved as she handed the device over. When Sans dropped by for tea the day after he absconded with Frisk, Toriel had some rather pointed words for him, as well.

Once properly chastised, Toriel had been more than happy to return to their usual joke exchange. It took Sans a few minutes to hit his stride, but she pretended not to notice. Frisk sat upon her sleeping bag, laughing every now at then and occasionally making contributions, but she mostly concentrated upon her sewing project for "Flowey."

It was sweet of Frisk to worry about it, but did a flower truly need a scarf? She was such a quirky child.

The only good thing about the entire ordeal was that she seemed more comfortable within her own skin. Toriel noticed Frisk had a tendency to seek distraction, in some form. Reading a book, doing her homework, volunteering for chores… If a wind-up toy's inner workings malfunctioned, she would take them apart in an attempt to fix them (many times with success). Frisk sought anything that would keep her from dwelling upon her own thoughts, and understandably so.

But when she returned she seemed… different. She looked the same as she ever did, and still preferred to stay busy, but there was something about the way she carried herself that changed. It was as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. That, or she no longer expected the world to deal her a blow and no longer prepared herself to endure it. Whatever the case, it warmed Toriel's soul to see the change.

Sans was coy about what he'd done to ease Frisk's worries, giving most of the credit to Undyne's impassioned speech about friendship (which, due to the volume she delivered her speech in, had spread through camp, easily). According to him, he merely took Frisk to a quiet place for a late afternoon nap, which came after a grand jape involving a wishing box inherited from his grandfather.

Toriel had forgotten such things were once part of their culture. The last time she utilized one had been while Asriel and Chara lived… and those bittersweet memories were probably why she put wishing boxes out of her mind. Especially as she allowed child after child to slip through her grasp…

She tried not to let such thoughts mire her, for Frisk's sake. Instead she thanked Sans for reminding everyone of the sentimental tradition. Again he was coy, saying it had been Papyrus' idea. All he'd done was move the box around and make some posts on Undernet.

Toriel learned something new about her friend, that day; first, that he was determined to stay out of the spotlight, no matter how much credit he was due. And, judging from the embarrassed cast to the magic staining his cheekbones as he credited others, he was flustered by praise. It was an endearing quality, though a peer as highly ranked as he should have been more accustomed to receiving it. Then again, most nobles she'd known would not have taken up permanent residence as far away from the capital as possible.

The house where the Gaster Brothers had lived in Snowdin was once Rockwell's vacation home. It had been his retreat from his responsibilities as High Judge, something he sometimes needed quite badly even before… things went wrong. However, as much as he needed to retreat, his permanent residence had always been the capital. Be it Home or New Home, Duke Asterisk was never far from its heart.

Or rather, the "Old Duke", as Rockwell was now known. He'd held the title for so long people felt a need to differentiate him from his successor. Sans said he didn't mind, because he was different from his grandfather, despite all the ways he'd followed in Rockwell's footsteps. It was curious, how he preferred to keep the general public from connecting the title to him, but Toriel didn't manage to ask him about it before the topic shifted away from himself.

Sans, still blushing, asked her how construction on the new house for herself and Frisk was coming along. It was a more blatant change of subject than usual, but Toriel allowed it, figuring he'd been flustered enough for one day. She told him the plans had been finalized, and construction would begin once the foundations were laid.

She worried that things were proceeding too quickly, remembering how hastily Home had been built (and the later problems which arose because of it), but the people heading the construction projects knew what they were about. The head foreman had actually slowed progress, for the sake of double-checking all the architectural plans and ensuring as few mishaps happened as possible. There was little Toriel could fault in that.

After a pun-filled afternoon Sans took his leave. He paused for a moment to ruffle Frisk's hair before exiting, which the girl ignored due to her trance-like focus on her project. Toriel managed to snap her out of it so she and Frisk could perform chores around camp together. Afterward they had a nice, peaceful dinner before bidding each other goodnight.

That night was the first time Toriel ever saw her child have a nightmare.

Frisk murmured loudly enough in her sleep to wake Toriel, who grew concerned as the dream continued. It sounded like she was trying to say something, or perhaps protest, but the words weren't forming properly. Her limbs dragged on the ground in sluggish movements. Her brow was pinched, and her eyes moved beneath their lids in sweeps and flicks. But none of that concerned Toriel as much as what came when she woke Frisk.

She moved to Frisk's side to awaken the child as the dream refused to end. When she gave the girl a gentle nudge Frisk's eyes snapped open with a half-startled grunt. Her irises glowed as red as her soul, staring sightlessly at Toriel. The darkness of the tent only made the glow all the more frightening.

Toriel's heart plunged as she called out. "My child, are you well? Are you hurt? Please, answer me!"

Frisk said nothing, but the glow faded as her eyes closed. Her entire body stilled and relaxed as she fell back into sleep's embrace, leaving Toriel confused. After checking for injury and finding none she tucked her child back in, watching her sleep for a moment. Frisk seemed to be at peace so Toriel returned to her sleeping bag, though sleep itself eluded her for quite some time.

When they awoke the next morning she asked Frisk about her nightmare. The child said she did not have one, and was amazed that she'd woken up at all. She did not remember opening her eyes, nor did she feel that much magic coursing through her, again. But she said she felt fine, and there was no need to schedule an appointment to see Dr. Flat. Toriel tried to leave it at that, but the worry was difficult to push aside.

She continued to watch Frisk for signs of distress, but there were none throughout the day. They even made it through another magic lesson without incident. Frisk proved she could summon something besides "remembered" spear bullets by instead manifesting fire magic similar to hers and Asgore's. Frisk seemed proud of herself and, though Toriel was proud of her as well, she would have been more proud if Frisk had properly expressed her own soul, rather than her memories of how another's magic felt when utilized against her.

That night Frisk had another nightmare as she lay upon her side, facing Toriel. This time, however, her eyes opened before her mother had a chance to rise. Toriel lay upon her back, her head turned toward Frisk as those glowing irises moved, looking around the tent without moving Frisk's head. Their eyes met and, for a long moment, Toriel felt like she was looking at someone else. Someone heart-achingly familiar, and long-gone. The moment passed once Frisk's eyes stopped glowing and closed, falling back asleep.

The next morning Frisk still claimed to remember nothing, and still displayed no sign of the magic hurting her. Which was odd, because she'd certainly been hurt the last time she glowed like this!

Toriel grew concerned enough speak with Sans. He also confessed to feeling like someone else was looking out of Frisk's eyes the first time it happened. He suggested the feeling might have been because it was so unusual to see a non-skeleton's eyes glow in such a manner. It was not uncommon for a Boss Monster's eyes to gleam in a particular way, but having the entire iris illuminate was a unique characteristic of skeletonkind. It simply raised more questions on what was happening to Frisk.

Sans said he would speak with Alphys and Dr. Flat on the matter. He said Alphys had been working on a new diagnostic tool which could monitor Frisk's magic "in real-time", letting them see how it flowed through her over the course of a few minutes, rather than taking a snapshot of it at any given second. He assured her that it would be a non-invasive procedure, and she believed him. She just worried Alphys would go overboard in her attempts to "help" Frisk, the way she had with her human soul research.

After a third nightmare Frisk didn't remember, however, Toriel decided something had to be done. The last one had to be the most disturbing, because Frisk smiled in a peculiar manner as she slept. It wasn't her normal smile, and the glowing only made the sense of wrongness intensify before the expression and magic faded.

Frisk remained unaware of the events as they happened. Toriel made an appointment for the in-depth examination to take place as soon as practicable.

Frisk stood in the same darkness that surrounded her before her fight with Flowey. She figured she was having yet another lucid dream, the fourth one in a row. She'd been coming here a great deal, lately.

Her mother told her of the things that'd been happening while she slept… but she was always here when they happened, wherever "here" was. She was never in distress, never trying to fight or escape. She simply stood or sat in the dark, waiting for the dream to end. Trying to wake herself up the first time didn't work, so she quickly learned not to bother. If she got bored she would walk around for a while, or doodle onto the "floor" using her magic pencils (since she was dreaming, she could make different colored pencils.)

However, this time she could see something besides her own body. This dream was the first time she faced a choice. The words "continue" and "true reset" floated before her, just like whenever she had to choose between fighting and showing mercy. Frisk chose "continue," but she didn't wake up right away.

She had to admit, if only to herself, that she was curious about what the "true reset" was. But, according to Flowey, being hauled back in time to her last recorded memory was a "reset," like knocking over dominos only to set them back up. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know what adding the word "true" to it meant.

She sat upon the "floor" and waited for the dream to end, wishing she could talk to Flowey more. The fact that she was grounded meant she couldn't sneak away for a chat with her friend, and she didn't have enough privacy to talk through the wall while he sat outside to bask in the sun. Not with her mother watching her like a hawk. The guards watching her every move made talking to him difficult enough! And-

The sound of rushing air intruded her thoughts, making Frisk turn away from the options floating before her. Doors had appeared, lining up on either side of her to form a corridor.

*Well, this is new, Frisk thought to herself as one eyebrow rose. Looking around, she saw that nothing else had appeared, or disappeared. Figuring that she was still dreaming she shrugged to herself and rose to inspect the doors.

Many of the first she came across looked familiar. They bore a resemblance to the doorways she crossed every day in her waking life. The flap of her tent, Sans and Papyrus' temporary home, and Grillby's were all present, among others. Many of the doors were open, allowing her to view scenery that played like the "videos" on Undernet.

Except… it wasn't "scenery" at all, but memories she held of particular days. Farther down the corridor the doors changed to resemble what she'd seen in the Underground. The arch leading to the surface, her bedroom in the castle, the Last Corridor… They and the memories went farther and farther back until the very first archway whose threshold she crossed, all the way back in the Ruins.

The corridor went further. Frisk saw doors from her uncle's ranch. Most notable were the basement door and the one to the stable. They were all closed tight. She hurried past them, only to walk amongst the doors of the Kane Estate. She thought she'd never see them again, and they were shut just as tightly as the ranch's. After deciding she'd seen enough she turned to walk back to the floating buttons, only to run face-first into a brick wall. Her nose stung a bit…

As she rubbed her aching face Frisk's bad feeling grew. Was she supposed to be able to feel pain in a dream? She didn't think that was supposed to happen. She supposed it was possible the book she'd read on the subject was based on mistaken or outright false information, but she couldn't dwell on that right now. It seemed like the only way she could go was forward…

Trepidation shortened her stride as she clutched her locket. She walked past the doors, not wanting to open them. They had to be closed for a reason, seeing as how the doors resembling things back at camp were all open. If they led to memories there was no point in forcing herself to remember something.

Farther and farther she went, trying to ignore the darkness. It wasn't really trying to crawl across her skin with icy fingers. The dark wasn't really trying to smother her. She was just dreaming! This was all in her head. Frisk told herself that over and over until she came to the last door.

It was the double-door to her human parent's garden. Though paned with glass, She couldn't see through it. Only more blackness lay beyond. At a guess, based upon how far she'd traveled through her memories, this was probably the very first one.

Looking over her shoulder Frisk could see that the brick wall had followed her, silently blocking the path back and to all the other doors. It was as though her mind was telling her this was something she needed to see. Something she needed to remember.

*No turning back. You might as well open it, Frisk thought to herself, though it felt strangely detached. Like the thought had been whispered into her ear, rather than originating from her mind. It was a bit concerning, but Frisk felt like she didn't have a choice. She'd become completely unnerved by the dark and didn't want to sit on the floor for however long it took until she woke up. She reached for the handles…

…but they turned without her having to touch it. The doors spread open, sunlight pouring through the crack and blinding her as the smell of apples hit the back of her throat.

She remembered…