Francine once shared a painful memory with Manuela. She would later find a modified version of it in Francine's outline, after her passing. Manuela wept for her friend as she wrote…

Chapter 20: Dream in a Dream

Mommy said she had to go outside while she and Daddy talked. Francine wanted to stay because she hardly ever saw Daddy, but she didn't like how loud her parents got when they talked, so she let Nanny lead her to the garden.

Outside was a little bit cold. There was hardly any green, now. Everything was orange and yellow and brown. Francine was proud of herself for learning the names of the colors. She could even write them out! Nanny told her few children her age could do that. But Nanny wasn't talking to her, right now.

Nanny let go of her hand to talk to Gardener. Francine got bored while the grown-ups smiled and laughed, so she left Nanny's side to run up to the tree and get a better look up at the branches. There were a bunch of red things…

Oh! They were apples! What were they doing up in the tree? Silly apples. Francine tried to reach for one, to see how it was holding on to the tree, but she just couldn't get one, no matter how far she stretched her arms. Come to think of it, didn't Mommy like apples? She should get one as a present!

Francine looked back at Nanny. She and Gardener were still talking. Their faces were getting close to each other, and Nanny's face was almost as red as the apples. Francine called her, but she wasn't paying attention…

Francine pouted, but she was used to being ignored. She didn't really need Nanny. She was a big girl, and she could get an apple all by herself! She looked back up at the tree and reached…

This time the apples got closer. She pulled one of the bigger ones off a branch. Her chest felt like a feather as she laughed. She did it! The apple was bigger than both of her hands. Mommy was going to love this one! It smelled really yummy…

"Oh my god! Miss Kane what are you doing?!"

Francine looked down at Nanny, who finally stopped talking to come over to the tree. Francine held up her prize and said, "Look! Apple!"

Nanny nodded, smiling and somehow not smiling at the same time. "Yes, that's an apple. I can see that, Miss Kane, but just… Just come down, now, alright? I'll catch you, so please come down." She held out her arms as though to pick Francine up, still not-smiling.

Confused by the not-smile, Francine wasn't sure if she wanted to get any closer. What did "catch" mean? But Nanny said "please," so she had to. She turned her body toward Nanny and focused on her. She had to go to Nanny…

Arms wrapped around her. Nanny was shaking as she said, "Oh thank god… Miss Kane you can't be doing that! You could have been hurt if you stopped floating, all of a sudden!"

"Frrr… foo-oat-een?" Francine knew a lot of words for a girl her age but not all of them. And some were still hard to pronounce. Mommy said it was because she was a baby, but she wanted to be a big girl! Mommy said she'd spend more time with her when she was bigger! She wanted to see Mommy more…

"What are you doing?"

Nanny gasped, turning around to face Mommy as she walked toward them. Francine was put down on the ground so Nanny could curtsey. Francine smiled as she ran up to Mommy, holding out the apple to her.

"For you!" she said happily.

But Mommy didn't smile. She looked down her nose at Francine, whose smile faded as she started to feel bad. Why wasn't Mommy happy? Didn't she like presents? Mommy focused on Nanny and said, "What are you doing, picking apples for my daughter? You know her appetite will be spoiled."

Nanny was looking down at her feet. Mommy didn't like it when the help looked at her. "I-I-I… I'm sorry, Madam. It w-won't happen again…"

Mommy's eyes narrowed. "You're fired. Pack your things and leave this house. I will not have liars living under my roof."

Nanny looked at her, eyes wide and sad. "What did I lie about? I swear I won't spoil the little miss's appetite again!"

Mommy not-smiled. "You are lying by insinuating that you picked the apple when I just watched the girl pick it herself. And don't think I don't know what's going on between you and the gardener. You know the servants of this house are forbidden to form such… relationships. So leave. Now. Before I have you thrown out. And as for you…"

Francine was scared as Mommy turned angry eyes on her. Her chest felt tight and it was like her insides were being poked all over by the rose bush. She tried to offer the apple again but her hands were hit and it fell to the ground. Mommy's hand wrapped around her arm. She was being pulled as they walked quickly back to the house. Francine eyes started burning because her arm was up high and it hurt, but they didn't stop.

"You've always been an unnatural little freak, but this time you've gone too far," Mommy said. "Floating in the air in front of god and everybody… You're just lucky I know how to snuff this nonsense out of you! Otherwise this charade would end and then where would I be? You're the only reason I get to keep the position I have, and I will not let you ruin it!"

She didn't understand. What did she do wrong? Francine just wanted to know why apples were in a tree and give one to Mommy, but now Mommy was mad and her arm hurt! She sobbed and was shaken for it, making her shoulder hurt, too.

"Stop that, right now! For the love of god, grow up already."

They were at the stairs. Mommy opened the little door that went under them. She pushed Francine inside the little room, finally letting go of her arm and allowing her fall onto the hard floor. Her knees hit first, then the rest. Francine managed to get her arms under herself before her face met the floor. Before she could get back on her feet Mommy was talking.

"You're staying in here until you learn your lesson. I never want to see you floating, again."

What did that word mean? "Fwoh-teen?"

Mommy covered her eyes with a hand. "Of course you don't understand." She sighed. "You know what 'up' means, yes?" Francine nodded. "Well then, up is bad. Say it."

"Up is… bad?"

"Again."

"Up is bad?"

"Again."

"Up is bad."

"Good. Now think about what you've done."

The door closed, leaving the room even darker than nighttime. Francine still didn't understand. She hurt. The floor was cold. Mommy was mad because Francine tried to give her a present but why? Was it because it was an apple? What was "floating?" She still didn't know what that was!

Francine got to her feet. She stood before the door. Everything hurt, inside and out. "Mommy…?" She reached up high, even though it hurt, to try and turn the knob but it didn't want to move.

"Mommy!" She was getting scared. She pounded her hands on the door and kept calling but nobody let her out.

She cried until she got a headache, but nobody came.

She became cold and started shivering, but nobody came.

After what felt like a long time her tummy started rumbling…

…but nobody came.

The door creaked open and Francine -Frisk, her name was Frisk!- threw herself back out into the corridor. She still felt sick, and cold, and she was crying, again. She huddled on the floor as she tried to stop, but she couldn't. She couldn't stop because she remembered.

That had been the first time she'd been punished, but it hadn't been the last. Not until she learned what the word "floating" meant, and how she felt inside her chest when she did it. The only way to stop it from happening was to weigh down her feelings and stop being happy. After denying herself happiness for a while it became hard to feel much of anything.

She hid what few feelings she had left behind a face of stone, her first line of defense. She stopped letting herself hope for better days. While her inner wall made it difficult to be compassionate some would slip through the cracks, for what little good it did. But that eventually dried up, too.

In the end all she was left with was a will to live. Not because of, or for the sake of anyone else, but to spite those who never wished her life in the first place. It wasn't a good reason to live, but she didn't want to roll over and die merely because someone else wanted her dead.

Remembering the way she used to be hurt. Living amongst the monsters had rekindled things she'd thought long lost, and it hurt to relive memories she never wanted to have. Frisk's chest ached and she wished her horrible dream would end.

She wanted her mother. Her real mother, the one that truly cared about her. She wanted a hug with enough soothing intent behind it to melt this pain away. She wanted to go home!

Frisk pushed herself up off the floor and slapped her own cheeks, hard. She had to wake up! She pinched and pinched and pinched, but nothing was working. She cajoled and castigated herself, but still the dream went on.

She was alone in darkness just as cold as that tiny closet. As she began to panic the back of her mind whispered to her, again.

*You are alright. You are going to be fine, it said. *Despite everything you are still you. Despite everything your parents did eliminate the magic within you it remains. You are stronger than they ever knew. You are stronger than YOU know. But you must permit yourself to feel it.

"Why?" asked Frisk. She ignored the quavering of her own voice as she said, "Why did I have to remember that? Why did you make me remember? What purpose could remembering possibly serve?!" After a moment of what could only be called shocked silence, the back of her mind answered her.

*It was… necessary. Your subconscious suppressed your magic because of what that woman did to you. Now you remember why. Now you can reach your full potential sooner.

"Why is that so important?" The back of her mind didn't answer, and Frisk continued. "Why would I want to use those bullets, again? The pencils… and especially those knives! I didn't truly feel like I was in my own mind, right then. Why would I want my soul to feel that way, again? Why would I want to put my family through something like my hospital stay, again?

The back of her mind remained silent, and Frisk raised her face to the ceiling (if there was one) to interrogate the dark. "Flowey told me about how his best friend used red knife magic and kept it secret. Why would my soul be doing the same thing when we're different people? Why is it that, whenever Flowey speaks his best friend's name it's covered up with mine? It happened as I watched those old recordings of Asriel and his friend, too!"

Frisk bared her teeth as she shouted, "How!? What force could possibly do that to my perception? Who are you?!"

Frisk huffed, catching her breath after her outburst. She didn't know if she'd get an answer but there'd been far too many questions in her mind to ignore any longer. She had no patience left for ignorance after her own memories tried to flay her soul until it was raw and bleeding.

A soft sigh came from somewhere behind Frisk. "That crybaby could never keep his mouth shut for long. I suppose covering up my name was too obvious. But I had a reason for that."

Frisk looked down, seeing that the corridor had disappeared, leaving her near the two floating buttons. She turned around to find a child standing in the dark behind her, just as visible as she was despite the lack of light.

They couldn't have been more than ten or eleven years old, with brown hair and reddish-brown eyes half-hidden by their straight-cut bangs. Their complexion was fairer than her own, with a light dusting of color on their cheeks that didn't seem to be caused by any emotion they may have been feeling. The clothing they wore was similar to her own, except the base color of their sweater was dark green with a pale yellow stripe, and it wasn't a turtleneck like hers. Their gold locket was formed in the shape of a monster's soul, just as Frisk's was the opposite shape.

The apparition looked down at her, smiling in an almost friendly manner as they said, "Greetings. It is nice to finally meet you. My name is Chara."