5 Five Gold Rings
"Jack, stop it!" Ianto snapped, moving to the other side of the kitchen, around the man still kneeling on the tiles with a hopeful look. He hooked some tissues from the box on the table and blew his runny nose, totally fed up with the head cold, the stupid team and most of all … the man making advances he knew he would regret later.
He walked into the main hub and groaned as he found Owen moving towards him with that look on his face and he placed a hand up to create space "Owen! No!"
Owen's face fell and he changed course, moving to Toshiko instead like he wanted to talk but then they had a weird dace-like tousle before she kneed him in the groin and approached Ianto.
"I know … Jack's doing it now as well" Ianto sighed, "has to have something to do with that orb that they got out in the …. Oh for fucksake!"
Tosh was slowly sinking to her knees, her face one of total adoration and Ianto sneezed, turning away as his head cold made his head pound. Gwen rose from her desk "Toshiko? What the hell are you doing?"
"I know, I think she…" Ianto started to speak then let it fade out as Gwen's face became territorial, walking over to face-off with Tosh who was rising to her fullest height, almost face to face with Gwen as they argued about who was best suited to Ianto.
"Christ almighty" he muttered as he escaped from the main Hub, "This is worse than the bloody sex spray thing. At least it was only Jack wanting to rub against me like a horny dog."
He had the orb in his hands and sneezed again, cursing as he rubbed it on his sleeve and then dropped it into a bucket of water. He then put the entire bucket in the deep freeze and closed the door, the large walk in freezer giving a whoosh as it slapped shut.
He moved to the monitors where they all seemed to be looking for him.
"Why me!" he muttered, then sneezed again. That walk-in freezer had not been a good idea. Another sneeze and he sighed, walking over to the large chest freezer, reaching into it to pull out a frozen chicken which he placed on the trolley that was waiting, a watermelon and small pumpkin already on it.
He started to push the trolley along, humming softly as he rounded the corner and hefted the watermelon into a cell, the large rhino-man grunting as he caught it and sat to devour it. Then he came to Janet "Hello love."
He slipped the frozen chicken and the pumpkin in, she chose the pumpkin first and was about to bite into it when she froze, then looked at him with wide eyes.
"Don't' tell me its turning. Damn, I knocked it too" Ianto assured her, "Sounded solid."
Janet continued to stare at him, then she stepped closer and sniffed.
"Really? You too? Wait… I don't have the orb ….huh" Ianto slipped off his jacket and stared at the splotch of mud on the back. Jack had slapped him on the back when he and Owen got back.
The mud must have something in it like a pollen or something the orb was making …."God damn it! I like this one!"
With annoyance he checked his pockets and then went down to the furnace, flicking the jacket in with woe.
"Whatcha doing Tiger?" Jack asked softly, his hands full of reports Ianto was sure was supposed to be getting read, not…. In they went.
"Well, you proposed marriage then a shag, Toshiko proposed marriage then a shag , Owen just proposed a shag then marriage and Gwen proposed an orgy then marriage… the best part was Janet telling me what the problem was." Ianto huffed, "I could have had four rings in one day, how about that!"
"Four?" Jack leered, "Oh Tiger, you forgot one!"
Jack motioned down at his crotch and Ianto went to groan then realised the orb and mud were gone, this was not a proposal, just a proposition.
"Ahhhhhh, does it need … shining?"
"Yeah, I could polish your nob too" Jack said with a cheeky grin and Ianto laughed as he finally accepted an offer.
The winner takes it all.