I'm so, so sorry! –pounds fist into desk- I know lots of people blame real life when they don't update… but screw that, I know I don't have a life. There's no pretending. The truth is, I was fending for the life of myself and my family against a hoard of blood-chillingly evil sexy Vampires ...yeah, I was watching TV.

Special thanks go to Glaurung II. Who gave needful prodding and advice:)

Warning: Description of morbid violence. …surprised myself with that one. And Kadaj being a manipulative bastard.

Disclaimer: Soon I'll be changing the name of 'Square Enix' to 'Last Trojan Enix' in order to emphasize the fact that I own it and I'm making LOTS of money off this fic! That way I won't have to put up anymore of these annoying 'disclaimers'. Yay:D

……………………………….

Dear, Counselor

"Wake up." Sephiroth shook the remnant in his arms. He frowned slightly at the disturbingly angelic expression on the little demons face. There was something so wrong about that.

"Umph…tired…" Said demon refused to so much as open his pretty green eyes --from his mother's side of course--.

"I guess that means you don't want any supper…" Sephiroth remarked, turning away from the kitchen.

"What?! Where?" Kadaj's head jerked up, smacking his older brother's heretofore unmarked face in the process. "I need food. Let me down." The hunger driven teen squirmed.

Sephiroth was more than happy to release him; quite over anxious actually. There was a slight yelp heard before those famed reflexes kicked in and preserved the youth from any sort of injury that wouldn't have allowed him to reach the kitchen in the shortest amount of time possible.

With a small cry of victory and the underfed remnant pounced on some neatly wrapped leftovers and settled on a chair at the kitchen table.

Loz watched in awe, looking the tiniest bit jealous actually. "Wow, Kadaj. I didn't know you could eat that fast. I'm impressed."

If Kadaj recognized anything his brother had said, he didn't let on. There were so many more important things in life. The foremost of which had a distinct taste of garlic and basil…

"Careful Kadaj…" Yazoo had quickly divested himself of any apparent concern for the silver youth and immediately put his able talents to the use of snarking. "…if you keep eating so much, you may grow or something."

Unfortunately, Kadaj didn't have the opportunity to unleash the bloody mayhem Yazoo so well deserved as he had to focus on the miracle of spiced salmon before him. Once he had violently chewed a few bites however, he found time to pose a question:

"Why doesn't your food taste this good Yazoo?" He cocked his head to the side in 'curiosity'. The incendiary teen was able to realize almost immediately, and with some disappointment, that it wasn't Yaz's cooking. While it was good, especially considering his famished state, he recognized the standardized ingredients and cooking. Definitely the work of a caterer.

"It isn't made with love, Kadaj." Yazoo explained. "No Love."

"The spices are so evenly and balanced!" The little brother exclaimed, quoting one of Loz's cooking shows. "It's absolutely mouth watering!"

"Also, the absence of poison may make it seem to taste better." Yazoo added.

The oldest remnant blanched. "W-what?" Loz clutched his stomach as intense psychosomatic pain spread through his entire well defined abdomen.

"The flavor is very light." Yazoo smirked, informing his older sibling. "But I've found a way to lace even the soy sauce with an undetectable edge of deadly toxins."

The pain began to spread though Loz's arms and legs as his expression changed into that of horror.

"I can apply it to just about anything." The long haired remnant continued. "So not even the food we order-out has to go completely untainted."

Loz felt a terrible constricting in his throat and breathing became difficult. He watched in bewilderment while Kadaj happily ate the poisonous food, unconcerned for his life.

"I've never tasted salmon like this in my life!" Kadaj continued praising the work of their caterer, blissfully moaning at certain moments.

"Why would you do that?!" Loz became teary eyed and greenish colored, wondering whether it was worth risking his life to take Kadaj's food away from him. He'd thank him later right?

Yazoo absently wondered if it were possible to physically harm someone through hypochondria.

Kadaj swallowed a 'tender, juicy, exquisitely spiced, mind-blowingly delicious' bite of salmon before finding it in himself to explain. "Because Loz, he's an ornery bitc—"

"Shhh!" Yazoo quickly shushed him. "You shouldn't be using language like that, Daj! Not until you're at least a few years older."

Kadaj picked up a knife, whose original purpose had been cutting meat and took careful aim. In a way, it would still be fulfilling its original purpose, Kadaj mused.

"Hey! Stop it or I'm telling Nii-san!" The crawling and tingling sensations which had been plaguing Loz lessened while he watched the fight begin. But as soon as the projectile entered the air he made good on his threat and went looking for the oldest would-be-destroyer-of-the-universe. He found him in the living room and tried tip-toeing in --it's the thought that counts.

Sephiroth had gotten straight to work with the cleaning on his sword. He polished the bright steel in an apologetic way, sorry that the artful creation had to be so contaminated. Like all exceptionally well crafted weapons, Masamune had a mind of its own and its own preferences; it was only content when being sunk into a blonde's shoulder, or better yet, a delicious blonde's stomach…

"Nii-san?" Loz interrupted the communion of the two familiar spirits.

"Hmm." Sephiroth never ceased his polishing. After all, swords didn't stay that shiny by themselves.

"Kadaj and Yazoo are fighting again."

"Has there been any collateral damage yet?"

So bright, so beautiful…

"You mean like broken stuff?" Contrary to the understandably popular opinion; Loz could comprehend four syllable words. He peaked around that corner to see that Yazoo had caught the knife by the blade between to artistic fingers and the two where now throwing it back and forth; a sort of variation on the game of catch.

"Not yet." The overly-hair-gelled remnant reported.

"Hmm, but I suppose it's time anyway." Sephiroth rose, musing to himself. Of course he wouldn't talk to anyone else when there was so much better company to be had.

He strolled into the kitchen and snatched the siblings' deadly flying utensil out of the air before the innocent dishes and the cupboard doors found themselves in mortal peril.

"Kadaj." He began by seating himself gracefully. "I believe it is time you tell us about school today."

"B-but I'm not done eating yet!" The silver trimmed youth gave whining one more try. It was worth it.

Sephiroth eyed his empty plate.

"I don't sleep well without desert." Kadaj explained.

"Ah." The ex-general took one look at the untouched triple layered chocolate cake and lifted it out of the teen's reach, twirling it easily on one finger. "This will be held in ransom until the story it finished." He informed the remnant coolly.

"What?! Haven't I suffered enough today?" Whining was worth at least two more tries.

"Teh! You know nothing of suffering." Sephiroth scoffed. "Try being disembodied in the Lifestream, God knows how many times."

"I know nothing?" Kadaj kicked the table leg irritably. "Try being incomplete your whole life and driven mad by an insane power-fetishist brother." The other still looked surprisingly unimpressed and Kadaj continued. "Do you know how many times I had to sleep in the same room with Loz and Yazoo?!"

Sephiroth's lip curled slightly. "You think you have it bad?" He growled as the countertops began to vibrate from fear. "Try being raised by Hojo."

"Hn." Kadaj let out a small huff and sat back in his chair. Nii-san really had him there.

"At least Mother treated you well..."

"Now, now." Yazoo patted them both on the shoulder condescendingly. "The sooner this story gets told the sooner you can have your cake back and the sooner you Nii-san, can get back to more important things."

Sephiroth gave Yazoo the look which reminded him of usual penalty for touching him: on-the-spot amputation. But somehow the middle remnant remained unconcerned.

"Start from when you got to school." Yazoo prompted.

With an extra expression of hatred and a huff of dissatisfaction, Kadaj began.

--

Chills ran up Kadaj's spine as he approached the dark, gothic looking complex. Near him birds twittered in their trees, careless of the unholy fate set out for those other, less fortunate inhabitants of Gaia. And of the screams emanating from within.

Behind the closed gates, Kadaj could see the lurking shadows of satanic educators, waiting for the newest prey to enter their foreboding lair…and never return again. Their fingers no doubt itched for such an attractive victim to spread out on their demon worshiping alters…

--

"Kadaj, please. Cut the crap." Yazoo demanded in a bored voice.

"Okay, okay, Geez…"

--

Kadaj walked into the plain, intensely boring looking school building, strutting as he did so.

This was a new place which he would have to take dominion over, just as he had planned to do to Gaia (with sadly limited success, he had to admit). This however, was a completely new scenario and one with many more possibilities, he encouraged himself. He could take control of the school.

Kadaj had the vague idea that he should go to the 'orientation' desk where a friendly looking middle-aged woman sat. Her brown hair was mildly frightening in it's poofiness but it wasn't quite enough to scare high schoolers off. In a middle school it might have been a different story…

"Yes? And what's your name Deary?" She smiled benevolently (not that Kadaj believed her façade).

"Kadaj Jenova." The silver youth responded.

"Okay, here we are then." She typed into the computer. "I'll get your schedule printed up in a second. I'm sorry you can't choose your schedule this year but last year we had so many problems with getting the number of students somewhat balanced that we just had to make them out ahead of time. It can get so confusing with the students wanting to switch classes all the time so that they can be with their friends. I understand though. When I was younger, I remember being so devastated to learn that I couldn't be in the same class with my girlfriend. But then again, I understand the school board's decision too. They have to do what is most efficient, that's what Mr. King is always trying to impress upon me: Efficiency. And oh I know he's right. Do you want a cookie while that print's?"

Kadaj shook his head. He had fought valiantly to keep his mind from lapsing into a state of preverbal catatonia but he still didn't trust himself to speak. Mostly he just stared at the hair in wonder. How did it get that big?

The desk lady didn't seem to mind staring. "Are you sure you don't want any. My sister makes them. Well, these aren't the ones made by my sister but they taste just like them. It's all in the about of molasses you use and the ginger. My sister uses much more ginger than the recipe calls for and that's what makes them so delicious.

"You really should try some. I know I shouldn't though. I should be watching my weight, or so my doctor says and my mother-in-law. But they're just so tempting! And I don't eat large amounts, just a little taste now and then. But of course you don't have to worry about things like that. You're so young and thin. My, but you're very, very thin! You really must have a cookie, I insist."

Apparently the desk lady didn't mind the growing snarl on the teen's lips or the look saying 'I want to decorate this counter with you brains'. She offered the box of cookies again with good natured insistence, completely forgetting the long ago printed schedule.

"The print has finished, Mary!" An assistant girl called from across the room, unknowingly saving her older coworker from one of the most gruesome deaths imaginable.

"Oh-oh it is! Thank you, Janie. These new printers are so fast! Here you go, Honey." She handed that paper over. "And so pretty too! Not that long ago, all printers where black and white. I don't really think we need all these colors but— Oh, I guess he was in a hurry to get somewhere, Jane. It is the first day of school and he probably wanted to get oriented. This is a big school and it takes a while to—"

…

Kadaj felt it was now safe to let go of the grip on his head without having it fall off completely and slowly lowered his arm. He noticed himself getting a number of strange looks from the other disorderly inhabitants of the halls. But a sadistic smirk was usually enough to make his audience produce tiny 'eep!'s and turn away. That was satisfying in itself.

Glancing down at the decree of the school board, he saw that his first class was English and that it was held in room 212. It was during this class that he learned the general laws of the schoolroom.

The idea seemed to be to whisper with your classmates quiet enough to be dismissed but just loud enough to be irritating to the teacher. Also, when asked anything, one was to give the vaguest answer possible and when asked to read it was essential to speak in the least intelligible voice that could be managed. Kadaj caught onto these key principles quickly.

"Okay!" The strangely cheerful English teacher chirped. "Let's see. Today I want to introduce a new student! Please come up here Kadaj…" She beckoned. "…and tell us a bit about yourself!" Kadaj suspected pot addiction.

Said youth got up as called, easily converting the center isle into his own personal runway en route to the front of the class. And feeling vaguely satisfied that there were so many eyes locked directly on -some part of- him.

"So! You just moved here to Midgar a few months ago, Kadaj!" Mrs. Brady began. "Tell us something about your family and your life before!"

Kadaj considered his options. He could do as Nii-san said and invent some sort of story, or he could not do as Nii-san said.

Option B is was.

Kadaj locked eyes with the room, slowly shifting his gaze from person to person as his captivated spectators did their best to appear disinterested. Oh yeah, he could see through that.

"My early life wouldn't make sense to any of you. I wasn't conceived or born by normal human (his lip curled) methods."

At the mention of 'conceived' some of the boys looked up in interest 'cause that totally had kinky sexual implications. In contrast, the girls' eyes dilated. Oh god, what if there were ways to get pregnant that they didn't know about? What if there was something they didn't know and should be avoiding? Oh god.

"I have two brothers, created before me. They were unfortunate but necessary steps on the road toward perfection. The first had all of the strength he was designed for but no grace or intelligence and the second had serious personality flaws and no leadership capabilities." Kadaj slowly paced the front of the class, wrapping the collective attention of the room around his words and motions.

"At last however! As the scientists where just about to give up…I was created." He added one very well-timed shift of the hips. "Due to a vastly superior genetic structure, I matured at five times the rate of a human and as soon as I was able, I lead my brothers to destroy the lab where we had been raised and to bathe in the blood of our weak creators." His eyes narrowed to sparkling slits as tiny gasps scattered throughout the room. "With our captors dead and our freedom before us, I realized our true purpose…"

What was the purpose again? To hurry up, worship Mother and die? Okay, that plan had hit a couple of glitches in the past. Oh shit.

Kadaj paused dramatically. While searching for his new and grandiose goal, he made sure to walk the floor for distraction, twisting and turning to make sure every perfect angle of him was available for view. "…carnage was strewn in our path. Destruction followed in our wake. Fear clouded the eyes of our victims before their last breathes were choked in blood…"

Think, Kadaj! What the hell were kids into these days?

He tried to remember snatches of things he'd seen on television and wondered why Loz bothered watching MTV… That was it.

The leather clad remnant flipped around and faced the room directly. He stilled suddenly, body straight, arms upward, torso elongated. "They died so that I could become…" A seductive smirk just for good measure. "…the most powerful rock star in Gaia."

Okay, that was just weak. Kadaj swore at himself for not being able to think up anything better. But he couldn't let his doubt show. It was all about confidence he reminded himself and waited through the few seconds of stunned silence before the whistles and cheering and appreciative comments started.

Yes! This really did work on groups other then seven year olds.

Kadaj nodded and strutted in response to the applause. …actually this crowd might have been a little easier than the seven year olds… But it didn't matter. It was just nice to know there was something he was still good at.

If fact if he wanted to, the rock star bit might work out well enough too; he already had a room full of devoted fans. The only dissident being poor Mrs. Brady, who had the strangest expression on her face…

Later in the counselor's office.

Ms. Peel took off her reading glasses as Kadaj flopped into the very comfy chair in front her desk.

"Hello Kadaj, are you comfortable?"

"Mm-hmm." Kadaj nodded broodily like a good teenager should. "What do you want Mrs. Peel?"

Ms. Peel cleared here throat. "You may call me Alice if you like."

Kadaj tucked one leg under the opposite knee with his shoe on the cushy chair. Ms. Peel, aka. 'Alice' didn't comment.

"Mrs. Brady thought it would be a good idea if you talked to me, Kadaj. She said that you were telling some disturbing stories in class. Is that true?"

Kadaj reevaluated Alice. She had a tiny crease in her forehead and pictures of cats and bunny rabbits on her walls. He recognized her type; the kind who were scared of loud noises and kept there alarm systems on every hour of the day and night. Yes, Kadaj knew her kind well. Why didn't anyone tell him school could be so much fun? He should have tried it a long time ago.

"I was just telling them about…" His voice darkened and he looked out from behind fine bangs. "…my childhood."

"Would you like to tell me something about you childhood, Kadaj?" Alice laced her fingers on the desk and leaned forward with a subtle look of interest and concern.

Kadaj almost grimaced at the overuse of him name, but at least it sounded good. Not like 'Sephiroth' of some other freaky word…

"It was great!" He broke into a rare grin, composed of pure evil. "My mom was a wonderful…individual!"

The conscientious Ms. Alice seemed to be missing the evil look, for now. "But your mother is gone now?" She asked delicately.

"Yeah." Kadaj looked appropriately abashed. That was one way to put it.

"But you have two brothers whom you live with?" She glanced at the folder under her nose.

Either Ms. Peel really couldn't read without her glasses or Sephiroth wasn't listed as his sibling. Kadaj felt like enlightening her. "Three." He clarified holding up the same number of fingers, just in case. You never did know how dense a person was.

"Oh yes, the oldest is also your guardian." She squinted at the file.

"Uh-huh. So they say." Kadaj glared at the wall and put his feet up on the other chair. Again the older lady refused to comment.

"Tell me Kadaj, how do you feel about your brothers?" Ms. Peel ignorantly opened the gates for the convenient invading and pillaging of the Gaul's

Kadaj began casting furtive glances around the room. "Which one?"

"Well how about the oldest one?" The experienced counselor hadn't failed to notice the teen's derision at the mention of Sephiroth's status as guardian.

Kadaj cast a glance behind his shoulder with a childishly fearful expression. "Do you mind if I lock the door?"

Oh Dear… Ms. Peel decided that she was most certainly dealing with another troubled youth; just last month she had had to walk little June Cartwright through her parents divorce. And right away here was another one.

She nodded sympathetically. "If it makes you feel better."

Kadaj got up and snapped the lock in place, smirking to the door. Alice was concerned for him already, perfect. He slowly sunk back into the chair letting his hair obscure most of his face.

"Does it bother you to talk about your brother, Kadaj?" Mrs. Alice asked with soft curiosity.

"No." Kadaj let a tiny smile creep into his face. "But, Ms. Alice?"

"Yes, Kadaj?"

"…is it wrong that I fantasize about killing him?"

Little warning bells went off in the counselors head; or maybe it would have been more accurate to say blaring warning sirens.

She cleared her throat twice and swallowed before answering, falling straight back to the book. "I don't think that makes you a bad person."

"Really?!" Kadaj beamed. "Does it make me a good person then?"

Ms. Alice Peel's laced fingers where a little less than relaxed as she dug up the appropriate answer from her years of professional training. "I think you are a good person. But just your thoughts aren't a clear picture of who you are. It doesn't mean that that way of thinking is healthy for you."

"But Descartes said 'I think therefore I am'." Kadaj proposed. Ha-ha, snooping through Yazoo's boring books was worth something after all! "So if I'm a good person then the thoughts I have, must be good thoughts. Right Ms. Peel?"

In the time it took the good counselor to hesitate, Kadaj slinked out of his seat to hover near the desk.

"S-sometimes even good people get impulses w-which…" Counselor Alice twisted her glasses frames dangerously hard. "…which it wouldn't be right to carry out." She explained.

"But it feels good." Kadaj rested his hands on the desk and leaned forward; he locked eyes and stared down, trapping his sadly disturbed counselor. "I can imagine every little detail." The evil delinquent cooed with relish, preparing for a classically florid description. "It would use a blade that was perfectly sharp and smooth; it could cut through his skin like water. I can even feel the little bit of resistance against the pressure when I slice deeper."

Kadaj licked his lips in appreciation at the same time as his poor counselor's glasses snapped. He ignored her to continue the narrative which he was actually getting quite wrapped up in. "The incision would be small and clean so it would take forever for him to bleed out. I suppose I would have to twist the knife just a little. And it would be terrible painful."

Seriously, when he thought about it, this wasn't a half bad idea. Sephiroth had been annoying lately and it's not like he would die or anything. He might have to try stabbing Nii-san a little if he could catch him off guard. Yeah, good luck with that one… Kadaj sighed to himself and went on.

"I can see the channels of blood pouring…" Kadaj paused, were people supposed to look like that? The sad confused Ms. Peel was blinking widely. And were his eyes playing tricks, or was she swaying back and forth? The silver youth shrugged it off and continued. He really hoped she didn't pass out yet because he hadn't even gotten to the punch line.

"Have you ever experienced the taste of flowing blood, Ms. Peel?"

Later in the superintendent's office.

Kadaj sat properly in his chair and waited for Mr. Superintendent to get off the phone. He seemed to be talking to the person now 'in care of' Ms. Peel.

"Tell Alice she can take her two weeks vacation now. No I insist. I don't want her here in that condition. Well, maybe she shouldn't be driving yet… Have her rest on the couch in the break room for a little while and give her some aspirin. Maybe it's stress… Don't leave her alone with any sharp objects either. No. Better safe than sorry. Thank you."

Mr. Superintendent hung up and immediately scribbled something on a piece of paper with a heavy sigh. Kadaj looked around the room carefully, noting the name on his framed wall-hanging diplomas well. The other decorations of the empty space were pictures of dogs and what looked like a wife and kids.

This one, the remnant surmised, wasn't going to snap as easily and if he freaked him out, the man would probably just go the higher ups. Kadaj didn't really want take on the whole school board at this point, so it was time for a different strategy. Thankfully, versatility was a virtue, which meant that Kadaj certainly had to possess it.

"Mr. Jeffery Jefferson?" The remnant ventured.

Jefferson cleared his throat. "Just Jefferson will do."

Kadaj wondered if everyone around here was sensitive about their names and took note of this for future use. "What did I do Mr. Jefferson?" His eyes could actually get very wide when he wanted them to.

"Well I was hoping you could tell me, Kadaj." Jeff relaxed back in his chair in a practiced non-confrontational-yet-authoritative way. "No one was able to understand much of what Alice, em, Ms. Peel said, but Mrs. Brady told me that she sent you to see her for some rather disturbing, antisocial remarks…" Jefferson left the statement open-ended to see what the kid would say.

Kadaj furrowed his brow. "Is Ms. Peel going to be okay?" Concern. Concern. Concern.

"I don't know." Jefferson's eyebrows wrinkled, but not at Kadaj. "I've been worried about her…health for a while already, so I can't say I'm surprised. But I'm sure something must have provoked this. What exactly did happen?"

"I don't know Sir." Kadaj shrugged helplessly. "She looked agitated from the time I walked in. Then she told me to tell her about my family and asked me about my brothers, and, and, then she started rubbing her forehead and snapped her glasses and screamed for me to get out."

"You can't think of anything that could have upset her?" Jefferson shook his head vaguely.

"No, Sir." Kadaj shrugged again, now in confusion and bewilderment. "I don't know."

"Don't worry about it." Jefferson waved it off, muttering something very quietly about 'shrinks'. "So how about in English class?"

"Oh yeah…" Kadaj twisted his hands and the side of his mouth quirked up self-consciously. "I-I kind of got carried away with that…"

"Yeah?" Jefferson prompted.

"Well, I was thinking about the Creative Writing project that I had planned while I was introducing myself. It was going to be a biography of my alternate self; about what I would be like if I had grown up in a whole different world and turned bad." He laughed nervously. "I guess I started telling the wrong story… I really hope I didn't scare Mrs. Brady too much." Kadaj wondered if he could lay it on any thicker without Jefferson starting to suspect.

"Huh, that actually sounds like a very interesting project." Jefferson remarked with slight surprise. It wasn't everyday that you found a kid who worked at their schoolwork and invested themselves in it. Oh yes, he wasn't supposed to encourage the kids to allow themselves to have lapses from reality…oops.

"Thank you, Sir." Kadaj said sweetly. "I didn't mean to upset the teacher though…" He dusted off the puppy-dog eyes.

"Ah…don't worry about that too much… You know teachers and so jumpy these days. I don't know how many times we've had ruckuses over a stupid comment or something."

Wow. Kadaj did his best to keep his expression from becoming evil, even though he was definitely feeling vast amounts of purely malevolent delight.

This was just too easy. The Ultimate Puppy Eyes of Doom only served to make Nii-san blink a coupled times before eventually deciding that, yes, he still did want to kill his youngest brother. But Jefferson on the other hand was buying every last bit. …come to think of it, he had heard something about all school employees being on the more perverted side of the spectrum. Now there was a theory to explore…

"Just try to keep your mind on what your doing next time, huh?" Jefferson admonished with a quiet smile.

"Yes, Sir." Kadaj cocked his head to the side and bit down on his lower lip innocently. "I don't know what came over me. Sometimes I get so focused on one thing that I forget exactly what's going on around me. It was such an interesting story…"

"Heh, sounds like a writer." Jefferson commented with a small laugh. "My sister was always like that. She'd get distracted and walk into the street without looking and stuff like that…completely oblivious."

"She didn't get hit by anything?" Kadaj made sure that his hair was brushing his neck like it should.

"Artists are lucky with everything except money." Superintendent dude smirked, then cleared his throat realizing it would be a completely remission of his duties not to say something classically inspirational now. "But talent like that is a wonderful thing to have, so don't waste it." That must be a quote from somewhere…

"Yes Sir." Kadaj resisted frowning. This guy was so not giving attention to his delicious waist.

Jefferson's duty to the Society of Euphemisms paid, he glanced at the clock. "It's almost noon. What do ya say you head to lunch and try to finish the rest of the day without getting into trouble?"

"I can try…" Kadaj smirked halfheartedly.

"Okay, good enough." The blatantly-impervious-to-suggestion Jefferson laughed and shooed him toward the door. "You can go now. Good luck with your writing."

"Thank you, Mr. Jefferson." The silvery youth nodded and left, now actually bemused for the first time today.

Outside Kadaj frowned deeply: all that time and the good superintendent hadn't make a single indecent overture to him. That ruled out blackmail and seduction as possible tools during his upcoming coup d'etat. With a resigned sigh, he determined to just overthrow the rest of the school and leave irritatingly decent persons such as this to their good citizenry…

…and was that disgusting smell coming from the cafeteria? Kadaj did an about-face and headed back to his locker where the precious and eatable lunch was stored.

Yes, he realized at times that there was a reason Yazoo had been born…em, created.

…

The rest of the day was so boring that he forgot what an amusing morning it had been. He got a satisfying amount of attention but in the end he did have to sit through the classes.

Yup, he just had to sit. He was going to kill himself. No, he was going to kill Sephiroth. Better yet, a murder-suicide; that would be very artistic…

Basically, it was getting very hard to keep his mind occupied. Then they shoved all these papers on him and said to do them at home. It seemed to be so that the teachers didn't have to sit around and watch you do it; they could have their own happy little lives somewhere else, content in the knowledge that their students where suffering. It all made sense looking at it that way.

Every so often, when moving from class to class people would try to socialize with him but thankfully most of them had good enough instincts not to cross that finite barrier into his space. A Death Glare and black leather worked way better than any 'do not touch me' sign could ever hope to; except of course, on the exceptionally dumb and the love sick (which happened to be the same thing). And Kadaj was just hated enough by fate to find one of the later.

He was squinting into the outside light, freshly escaped from the screeching halls and planning how to never go back inside ever again, when he sensed someone staring. Not that staring wasn't a normal response, but this was a tiny bit different. He turned and unerringly found its source.

The cute girl stepped out of lurking and waved. "H-hi! I'm Sandy."

Kadaj frowned. Exactly how did that help him? He nodded and kept walking.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be staring like that."

This was strange. He was walking and Sandy wasn't getting any father away. Definitely a bad sign.

"It's just, you're new here and so am I! So we kind of have something in common, right?" Sandy gave a hopeful smile, to which she received another nod. That seemed encouragement enough. "Actually I've been here a week. So…if you like need anything…or…I kind of know my way around pretty well."

The remnant looked at her this time, wondering if that had actually been a statement, a question, or something of the like.

"I just want you to know I'd be happy to help or…hang out or…whatever!"

Kadaj looked at her more closely again wondering if it was a bad sign when humans turned all red like that.

"And, and…"

Kadaj was becoming more and more positive that shade couldn't be healthy.

"And, I love you!"

Definitely not healthy…for him at least.

There was a blurring of girl and ponytail and then the sky flipped directions and something hard hit his back witch he later recognized as concrete.

"And I hope you do become a rock star! I'll be your biggest fan!"

Sandy successfully latched onto the remnants neck, maintaining the glomp for as long as possible. Kadaj's first instinct was to throw her across the yard but Nii-san had told him long ago to never, ever hit a girl, unless of course she was in the way of finding Mother (in which case they could be slaughtered like everyone else). But this one wasn't really keeping him from Mother so he had to be carefully with it.

If only he could breathe…

"You're such a wonderful person. I can tell! The glaring and leather is just a self-defensive façade! Can we just please be friends?"

The ponytail was starting to tickle his nose and (he grimaced) get in his mouth. Also, there was way too much skin contact going on with his neck. He tried griping her arms gently to pry them off but she apparently took the contact as confirmation and held on tighter, happily oblivious. Apparently love sick and dense as a post.

Gaia hated him.

"Okay, okay! We can be friends!" Kadaj growled in a manner so unfriendly even a desk-lamp should have understood. If he didn't get some oxygen supply soon there would be force involved in her removal, girl or no.

"Really?!" The cute girl finally let go in sheer surprise. She beamed; her hair flipping, still convinced of Kadaj's inner goodness. "That's great!"

"It's wonderful." Kadaj scrambled to his feet preparing for a hasty get away. He almost made it too, when she pounced and kissed him.

--

"That's what you're upset about?" Yazoo deadpanned. "A high school girl assaulted you."

Kadaj glared farther daggers. "You know I hate being touched."

The middle remnant turned to Sephiroth. "It really isn't safe for him there. The girls are brutal."

"You should try it some time." The younger snarled. "I can still smell her perfume on me. It's disgusting!"

"Ah, so that's where it came from." Yazoo nodded. "I thought you were just trying to make a statement."

Loz rubbed his chin thoughtfully, taking in all that had been said, or at least the important points. "Nii-san, can I go to school?"

Yazoo answered instead, already knowing that Sephiroth was in Ignore Mode. "Of course. You must go to protect Kadaj from the terrifying females there." Smirk-laugh.

Loz wholeheartedly agreed.

Kadaj suddenly began feeling the effects of all the day's and the night's exertion and completed the conversation with a small gesture of the hand.

"I believe this is yours." Sephiroth returned the hostage cake, snapping out to his Ignore Setting.

"Too tired to eat." The sad, bereft delinquent thunked his head on the table and went limp.

Yazoo poked him and the other didn't flinch. "I believe it's true. I guess Loz's gets the cake after all." Still no flinching from Kadaj. "My god, it really is true."

"He gonna be okay?" Loz leaned down for a better look at the inert Kadaj-like form.

"In about thirteen hours." Sephiroth surmised dryly. "Kadaj!"

The remnant looked up blearily. It seemed like Seph was yelling at him… Not that that would matter. Maybe he was yelling for him… It could be time to kill something. …or something to do with Mother… Maybe it was time to find Mother… Or kill something for Mother… Or kill Mother? …

"Kadaj!"

Damn, it couldn't be that important! But he managed to make a sound anyway. It sounded like: "Huuh?" Articulate, yes.

"I'm not carrying you to bed."

Kadaj managed to pull up just enough energy to snarl. And fell asleep on the table.

……………………………………..

Hmm, I think I've had my say already. Just pleased don't kill me in any way that's painful!