EXODUS
"So, the orders have finally come?" Paine turned lazily and nestled her head on his good shoulder, wrapping her arms around his chest and speaking blurrily against his throat.
"I should have waited to tell you. It's not fair you get information first just because we share a bed." Nooj paused to nuzzle her head and draw her closer. "But since I mentioned it ...yes. We leave in two days." He caressed her with the cold machina hand and she shivered deliciously before responding with her own wandering fingers.
Some time later he murmured, "We really should get up now and tell the others what's going down. Mustn't forget we're a team and shouldn't have secrets."
She stretched and stroked his face. "I think they're trying to keep a few secrets from us."
"Not very successfully, you think?"
She laughed softly. "Not successfully at all. And here I thought as the only woman in the team, I'd have to fight for my virtue."
"Disappointed?"
"Not a bit."
"Ready to get up?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Then move!"
"You first."
-X-
In less than a week the teams of candidates for the Crimson Squad had been landed on the desert shores of Bikanel and had begun their training for their future positions in the elite cadre.
Paine was accustomed to shifting from one location to another; her chosen profession had dictated that. Life since she had become independent had been a series of packings up and moving ons. What made this move different was that she had a companion on her journey.
She had been chary about entrusting her heart to anyone so the relationship with Nooj was both new and alarming. He was a puzzle to her, guarding as he did his emotions and being sparing in his conversation. The events of his life had made him cautious in his manner, always alert to whatever revulsion his half-machina body might engender.
No matter her efforts, Paine has been unable to convince him that he was not a repellent sight to her. She found his entire person to be so endlessly fascinating and so overwhelmingly attractive that she was continually bewildered by his attitude. It had become a constant challenge to force him to commit to a normal relationship and leave off being so defensive.
On a more practical plane, the rigors of training were mitigated by the growing ease among the four teammates. Shortly before they had left the mainland, Gippal had approached her.
- -
"Paine, we need to have a talk." He was always forthright in his manner so she was not surprised that he did not indulge in a long lead-up like many would have done.
"OK. About what?"
"We're about to get started on whatever it is they're planning for us to do and I'll bet we're going to be cooped up tighter than ever, sooo..." He drew out the word and took a deep breath. "Look, Baralai and I know you 'n Nooj ..." He paused and began again. "We know you and Nooj are, well, a pair like me and 'Lai." He shut his lips firmly and folded his arms across his chest, seeming to wait for her to say something.
"You just now noticed that?" She raised her brow and folded her arms in a mirror of his gesture.
"Not exactly. You and him were being very private about it and it didn't seem polite to mention it."
"Like you and Baralai were making out in public?" There was no escaping her mockery.
Gippal flushed, whether in irritation or embarrassment was impossible to say. "Well, anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to get it all straightened out and in the open before we started the hard parts."
Paine relented. "You're absolutely right. It's a good thing we managed to pair off like we did. Takes care of any friction in the team. Does Baralai know you've talked to me about this?"
"I told him I was going to. He's too shy to discuss things like this so I said I'd do it. You OK with everything?"
"No reason I shouldn't be. Nooj and I are fine and looks like you and Baralai are too. This shouldn't have any impact on the team. You won't have to worry that Nooj will try to protect me if we run into danger. I'm just the recorder and not on the front lines. Besides, he's a real professional. That's another thing, you know he's the natural leader for our team?"
Gippal nodded, his face serious. "I know and so does 'Lai. We've been treating him like the boss and it might be a good thing to make it official. I'm a good fighter but I don't know anything about strategy and regulations and that sort of thing and 'Lai's a former priest, a junior one at that."
"OK. I think we should elect Nooj chief at the campfire tonight. That'll get order established before we set out."
- -
She smiled when she remembered that conversation. It had set the tone for the rest of the preparations. She had told Nooj about the arrangements that same night, after he had been prevailed to accept the de jure as well as the de facto leadership of the little crew. He had kissed her and sighed, "I thought we were being so discreet."
The training on the desert range consisted of a series of exercises, each testing a different set of abilities and skills. The aspirants to the Crimson Squad remained divided into teams of three fighters and one recorder, separate but not isolated. After each day's trial, the leaders of the various teams would each take his recorder's sphere and deliver it to the commanders where he would receive the particulars of the following day's testing.
On this particular day, the test involved limited ammunition in an area swarming with fiends. Only the leader of each team knew that this was the test; the other two fighters were expected to notice the shortage and cope in some manner. When Nooj had told her about the arrangement the night before, Paine had thought it was bound to get dangerous until he assured her that the fiends in this area were mostly smaller and weaker than the average. It was a test primarily of resourcefulness, not courage.
Gippal and Baralai, fighting shoulder to shoulder as usual, found themselves running out of bullets at the same time and set themselves to managing the problem as best they could. Paine's recording captured their almost panicky voices on the sphere. Since they were facing somewhat smallish fiends, she had no doubt they would be able to handle the situation. She grinned rather cruelly at the thought of Baralai's soft hands clutching the scaly neck of a little monster and wringing it.
Nooj was also beginning to meet with trouble. He had abandoned his cane of a necessity, needing both hands to raise and aim his gun. Therefore his gait on the sandy terrain was more uneven than usual, particularly in those areas where the sand was not firmly packed. It was in just such an area that he, like the others, found himself out of ammunition. As Paine swung her recorder around, trying to collect all the information the designers of the exercise would need to evaluate the work, she watched in horror as her lover dropped his empty weapon and lurchingly advanced toward the monstrous fiend which confronted him.
It was a rare beast, a creature with huge claws and more teeth than she had ever seen, a grendel or a grothia, her mind stuttered helplessly, foolishly as she stood paralyzed for a long moment. Then she drew the pistol from her hip and fired. Either consummate skill or a lucky shot rewarded her and the monster fell. Her muscles felt lax and trembling with relief until she saw Nooj's expression. His face had twisted into a mask of rage. She had never seen him like that before and she did not understand. The violent words he aimed at her vibrated against her ears, the substance not making its way to her brain. It was as though she was hearing a language for the first time, hearing the sound but not the meaning.
Nooj forcefully shoved the sphere camera aside and turned to the other men on the team who had managed to bludgeon their targets to death and now stood openmouthed watching the drama before them.
"That's enough. The exercise is over. Paine, give me your sphere and I'll take it to headquarters and consult with the commanders. Get the orders for the next test. I shall assume we passed this one." He held out an imperious hand and Paine, without thinking, ejected the sphere and placed it in his palm.
When he had left on his self-imposed errand, the three remaining members gathered out of the heat and glare in the shadow of the tent.
"What was that all about?" Gippal asked of no one in particular.
"I can't understand," Paine mumbled, her head drooping. "He knew the trial involved a shortage of ammunition. Why did he wait 'til he was low and blunder into a place he must have know there were really dangerous fiends. He should have known better."
"He did that? That's not like Nooj." Gippal pounded a fist against the sand.
Baralai furrowed his brow. "I've heard rumours about something that might have a bearing here." He stopped and pressed his lips tightly together.
"Well, go on." Paine spat the words at him.
"Yeah. What d'ya know?" Gippal spoke over her. "Tell us anything you know."
The white haired man almost whispered, "There was talk in the temples about a heresy called 'Deathseeking'. I don't know much about it but the older priests used to whisper and laugh about a cult that exalted suicide. The members had to arrange to die in battle somehow and to not be obvious about it. I think that's what it was about but I could be wrong."
Paine's red eyes flared like internal flames. "You think Nooj is one of them? You think he wants to die? Why would somebody who's been though as much as he has want to give it all up now? He could just have laid down and quit before this. During the surgery to attach those prostheses for example."
Baralai spread his hands. "I'm just telling you what I've heard. Anybody got a better idea of why he did what he did and got so angry when he was stopped?"
"Exactly what did he do and you do, anyway?" Gippal asked Paine. "I didn't see the whole thing. Just got the impression he blew up at you for some reason."
"He ran out of ammunition like you guys and just dropped his gun and started walking into the jaws of that thing in front of him. I shot it - got lucky - and he exploded."
"Yeah. That I heard. I didn't know what you did to upset him." Gippal nodded and looked thoughtful. "'Lai may be right; he may be a Deathseeker. We've heard about those nut-cases too. In Al Bhed we call them Taydrcaagan. I don't know whether to trust him anymore or not. He's been a good leader so far, but ..."
"We can't be sure unless he tells us he's one of those ... nut-cases." Paine protested. "I say we try to paper over this and go on like it didn't happen. He has some odd habits and has had a lot of stress. We can't judge him by one incident; that's not fair."
That night, she was surprised when Nooj lay down beside her as though nothing had happened. He pulled her over to pillow on his broad chest as usual. Just as she was beginning to think he had forgotten the episode, unlikely as that seemed, he spoke.
"Paine, you must never again interfere with what I do in the midst of battle. I have my reasons for my actions and you must not get in my way. It could cause harm to come to you and I never want that. I am trained in the Warriors' Way and there are certain conventions which must not be broken. Do you understand?"
"No! I don't. Are you saying that I can't act to save your life like I did today?" She tried to move away but he held her firmly.
"That is exactly what I'm saying. I have to follow my own judgement and make my own decisions."
"Nooj, are you a Deathseeker?" She blurted out the question before she thought it through.
"Where did you hear that term?" He seemed shaken.
"Oh, I've been around and there's soldiers' gossip everywhere about all sorts of things." She did not want to implicate either Baralai or Gippal.
"It's a complicated issue and I'm not free to discuss it right now. Maybe later. Now, let's sleep. Tomorrow will be very busy and difficult. By the way, I brought back a fresh supply of ammunition. And, yes, we passed the test today - just by surviving. Now, you got the news before the others again." He seemed to laugh deep inside and turned his attention to her lips and breasts.
The night ended well and satisfactory, unlike the day. As she drifted off to sleep, Paine realized her journey to the heart of the mystery of Nooj had just begun.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
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