T'was the morning of Christmas and all through the House (Well hub but that didn't rhyme)
Ianto was roaring as at five am Owen did rouse
All from their beds, still half drunk and leery
Looking at the little shit who was surprisingly merry.
.
The gifts under the tree were mostly still there
As well as a hank of Gwen's long hair
The reminder as she stared at the long lock
Reminded her of which little shit had drunkenly cut it off.
.
"For the love of Coffee, sit and fucking open!" Ianto screamed
Everyone sat like school kids about to be reamed
One by one he retrieved the trampled and waterlogged gifts
Owen gamely trying to blame it on the Rift
.
As if he didn't know Ianto's mind was still sane
Knew who had started that fucking drinking game
The one with the largest gift in his lap
Was overdue to take a Ianto 'love tap' (A headbutt for the great unwashed)
.
Tosh was delighted as she opened hers first
Found lovely earrings and a silk purse
Gwen made a comment about purses and swine
Then said grumpily "Where is mine!"
.
She took the gift and knew straight from the wrap
It had been chosen by her favw secret Santa … Jack
She tore at the wrapping with childish glee
Then sat looking with confusion at the bonsai tree
.
"Wait, that was for Tosh, Gwen gets the one in pink"
Jack pointed to one still in the drink
Tosh accepted the Bonsai with a look of quiet delight
Gwen opened her real one and then stared at the night light
.
"Cos you got scared of the dark when you lost your torch"
Jack pointed out like it made sense, of course
The unicorn night light turned from pink to blue
Gwen smiled weakly as her temper almost blew
.
Jack opened his, made a noise and slammed it shut
Looked at Owen and frowned, then opened it back up
Ianto looked over and saw the reason for the start
Those red stilettos will make him look a right tart
.
"Wait, that was for Ianto" Owen said as he swapped
The box and another from the water he slopped
Jack opened this one with a flouncy flair
The Ianto roared with mirth as the present was laid bare
.
"Why Owen this might be for me too"
Ianto chortled as he watched Jack try to sort what to do
Myfanwy sorted the problem in a jiff
Flying down to seize the dildo and she gave it a hiff
.
"Oi, that cost good money," Owen gasped
The big leather bird turning to give him a blast
Clacking her beak and making her talons rake
She told him off for the fat rubber snake.
.
"Next year it is at Tosh's flat" Ianto muttered as he put things away
He always hated Christmas Day