Disclaimer: It's not mine, it's all J. K. Rowling's.

A/N: Annie Talbot and Machshefa are the lovely ladies who beta-read this fic! : :hugs: :

Chapter 19: Hanging Out

Severus had been very quiet since she'd been back in London. Hermione was used to their daily letters now and missed them very much. What could have caused this silence? Hermione tried to recall what she'd said in her last letter, but she couldn't remember anything in it that could have offended him.

Maybe an offence was not what Hermione should be looking for, she realized and blushed. Could he be aware of the real nature of her feelings for him? Could he know that she'd been thinking about him as more than the friend he wordlessly agreed to be?

Hermione sighed.

She hadn't intended for this to happen, but as her mother always said, there are some things that just can't be helped. Love, infatuation, passion, whatever it was that she felt for Severus was amongst those things. She just couldn't help it; she'd fallen for this mysterious, intelligent, surprisingly funny man; a complicated wizard whose history was intertwined with that of their world. A wizard she wanted to understand, and care for, and protect, and love….

Hermione had come to terms with those feelings and was happy with them, but Severus had no clue about how she felt. It was too soon, they were still getting to know each other, and she couldn't simply Apparate to where he was and kiss him.

The thought of kissing Severus distracted her from the problem at hand. She'd bought chocolate truffles for him on her last day in Bulgaria, and she couldn't stop thinking about his lips closing around the candy, making it melt within their warmth...

Hermione wet her lips that had gone suddenly dry with the thought. This fantasy wouldn't be happening anytime soon if she didn't figure out what was wrong with Severus, why he hadn't written a letter in two days. Conjuring every possible reason was a futile exercise. She left the couch and went looking for parchment and quill instead. She would write to him and see what he would say – hoping that he would say something.

o0oOo0o

Dear Severus,

I've been in London since Monday and work is taking most of my time. What have you been up to? I haven't heard from you in a while. I miss your impossible explanations for your survival, your recommendations for books, the accounts of your miserable days. I miss you.

I'm looking forward to our meeting this weekend. I don't know where we could go, though. Was there some place you wanted to visit? You could show me that wizarding museum you told me about, or if you don't want to go too far from the castle, we could have lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Do you have something in mind?

Did the defense drills I suggested work? I hope your seventh-years are all fine and healthy.

I'll be waiting for your answer.

Love,
Hermione

Severus traced the last two words of her letter, like he did every time the owl found him somewhere private. He sighed.

I missed you, too, Hermione.

He'd tried to stay away from her, he'd tried to believe that now that she was back near her friends she wouldn't even realize he'd stopped writing, but Severus was apparently wrong. She missed him; what were the odds of that? Hermione Granger would be the end of him.

"Damn!" he cursed.

o0oOo0o

Hermione,

I'm afraid I won't be able to meet you this weekend. Hogwarts is at its full capacity, needing its Heads of House to keep the castle from imploding. We can keep communicating through letters until we can find a better date.

Did you finish reading my last recommendation? If you liked it, I have more to recommend along the same line.

The defense drills were a success, a very good idea.

Severus

Hermione felt a pang in her heart by the end of his letter.

He's avoiding me again. She sighed.

She knew there wouldn't be a better date, he would keep coming with excuses, and as far as excuses went, the possible implosion of Hogwarts could not fool Hermione. It hurt, and there was nothing she could do about it.

His letter was a confirmation that Severus knew how she felt about him, and this was his gentle way to say "no, thank you". He was keeping her away, trying to be kind and say they could continue with the letters, but being kind was not Severus' best skill, so….

If that was his decision, she should respect it. She would stay away.

Hermione folded the letter and placed it gently over the book she was reading – one of his recommendations – and took her aching heart to bed.

o0oOo0o

"The toast is offending you again, Severus?"

"Can't you just drop it, Minerva?" he said without giving her much attention.

Severus had been glaring at his breakfast without touching it. It was Saturday, and it'd been two days with no sign of Hermione. He was so absorbed in his thoughts of her that he didn't take notice of how Minerva scrutinized him.

"What did you say to Hermione?" Minerva asked.

He looked sharply at her, startled by the unexpectedness of the question. He looked away and watched the first-years take their seats for the meal, trying to cover his surprised reaction. "What are you talking about?"

"Not toast, obviously," she said. "I know you've been exchanging letters with Hermione Granger for quite some time now, but it's been days since the last one. I can only assume it's your fault. What did you say? Did you finally tell her how you feel about her?"

He narrowed his eyes to look back at her. "How I feel about Hermione? Are you senile?"

"Hermione, huh?"

Severus cursed his slip of the tongue. Minerva wouldn't let go now; he was in for the whole sermon.

"Does she feel the same way?" Her smile was disconcerting.

He took a sip of coffee to warm his cold throat. "Feel what?"

"Oh, drop it, Severus. You're alive, she's alive. Contrary to what you like people to believe, I know that you have a heart. I can't see what's wrong with developing feelings for an intelligent, beautiful young woman," Minerva insisted.

His frown deepened. Can't she see the impropriety in her own words?

"We've been discussing some spells, that's all. As far as I know, this has nothing to do with feeling anything," he replied.

"You're too young to be this bitter, Severus. If you didn't say anything, what happened?"

Severus decided to ignore her. It became incredibly difficult after enduring her incessant stare. He sighed, looking back at her.

"She wanted to meet me this weekend, but I'm too busy. Now, can you mind your own business?" he asked, annoyed.

"Oh, Severus, dear." Her tone was so soft it scared him. "You could use some time away from Hogwarts from time to time, and Hermione is very good company. Take a break and go see your girl."

"Are you suggesting that I leave the Great Hall and go straight to shag your precious Gryffindor angel?" He hoped she would see the absurdity of what she was implying.

"Don't be silly, Severus." She patted his hand. "There are no angels in Gryffindor."

"Minerva!" he hissed, surprised. He couldn't hide his reaction to her words. He'd known Minerva since he was eleven, and never in all this years had she spoken to him like that, about that. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

Minerva chuckled, patting his hand a last time before saying, "Eat your toast, Severus. You'll need your strength."

That was too much. He stood up and left the Great Hall. Everyone around him had gone insane, and they were trying to take him with them. Severus prized his sanity.

o0oOo0o

Hermione paced her flat. From the hearth to the kitchen balcony, then to the window and back in front of the hearth again, Crookshanks following from the couch, turning his head to watch her. She'd cleaned, organized, read, but nothing could take her mind off of Severus, and pacing was making her even more restless.

It's hopeless!

She threw her arms in the air and fell to the couch beside her cat, tired of pacing. He stared at her for a moment before hiding his head in the cushions. It was past noon on Sunday, and she hadn't had lunch yet. Not that she cared. What she should do was eat enormous quantities of chocolate ice-cream and watch sappy movies. At least, that was how women coped with this sort of thing, right?

Chocolate….

That reminded her of the box of truffles she'd bought for Severus in Sofia. That would be just as efficient as the ice-cream, with the added bonus of depriving Severus of them. It was irrational, but Hermione was angry because he was pushing her away.

She stood up and went to retrieve the box. Back to the couch, she ripped the gift paper from the box, opened it, and popped one candy out. She bit into it, expecting some kind of comfort from the act. All it did was made her think about Severus biting it, humming in pleasure.

Oh gods!

She sighed. There was no way she would forget him with chocolate. She took another bite, now out of frustration. Why did he have to push her away? Why did he have to hide every time she mentioned meeting him? He couldn't deny that there was something between them, even if it was only friendship on his part. Friends should meet, too.

This is not working, she thought, glaring and then eating the rest of the piece of candy.

"What he's doing is wrong, Crooks." She petted the orange fur of her cat. "I can't go on like this."

She would never see him again if she didn't do something; she would never hear his velvety voice humming or laughing… and she should! She wanted to see him, and that feeling wouldn't go away just because he wanted it to. She had to do something about it, or she would die from frustration.

"I'm going to Hogwarts," she declared.

Decided, she leaped to her feet and went quickly to her bedroom. She changed clothes – she didn't want to look desperate, but she didn't have to look all beat up, either – pulled the box of chocolates close to her, and before she lost the courage, Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts. Without thinking twice about what she was doing, she took the path leading to the front doors of the castle.

The warmth inside was welcoming. A few students turned to see who was entering the castle. She strolled quickly towards the dungeons, away from their prying eyes. Now was not the time to feel like a third-year out after curfew.

She met more students on her way down the dark halls. Quickly – maybe too quickly – she reached the door to his office. She had to knock, she knew it. What would she tell him? What excuse did she have to be there?

Nice plan, Hermione, she mocked herself.

She took a deep breath and raised her right hand to knock and startled when the door was flung open.

"Hermione?" he said, obviously surprised with her presence there.

"Good afternoon, Severus," she greeted awkwardly. "I…." It was more difficult to come up with something to say now that he was staring at her. "I… was in Hogsmeade and I had these chocolates I bought in Sofia for you and I thought I could take advantage of my trip and bring them to you, but I know you're busy–"

"Hermione," he interrupted, still looking intently at her.

Gods, my name in his voice!

She offered the box, at a loss of what to do and certain that she should do something, say something.

He accepted it, and she averted her eyes from his, blushing. "I–"

"Come in," he said before she could say anything else.

His office was exactly how she remembered it. It made her uncomfortable to be there in such different circumstances. It was a bit unsettling, and Severus seemed to notice her uneasiness. He went to a shelf and pulled out a book. The shelves moved to reveal a concealed door, which he opened, stepping aside to beckon her. "After you."

Hermione entered the narrow space that soon opened to an ample room. The light was dim and cozy, a fire crackled from the hearth, casting shadows into the room. Hermione realized it was his quarters.

"Take a seat," he offered, pointing to the armchairs by the hearth. "Would you like to drink something?"

"Tea, please." She chose one of the chairs and settled in, looking around the room. It was filled with books on shelves that went from floor to ceiling. There were few items of decoration, but those few were enough, in Hermione's opinion. The desk on one side, covered with piles of papers and books, gave the room a feeling of being lived in that Hermione found most comforting.

Her contemplations were interrupted when a teacup appeared in front of her. She accepted it, sipping and watching Severus take the other armchair with his usual grace.

The silence was making her nervous. Things were much easier on parchment.

He observed her from the rim of his own teacup. "You didn't answer my last letter."

From all the things she thought he would say, that wasn't one of them. It was mostly unexpected.

"You were busy," she answered. "I didn't think you were expecting an answer," she said, letting some of her insecurity tinge her answer.

He raised an eyebrow at her, then placed his teacup on a table between the two armchairs. "I thought I'd said we would continue to correspond until we could meet."

"I'm here now."

"But you weren't yesterday, or the day before."

What is this all about? Hermione thought, frowning at him. "I thought you were busy, because you said you would be busy."

"To meet!" he said. "I could still manage my correspondence without any problem."

"Severus, this is ridiculous!"

That silenced him and gave her some time to try to understand what was going on. She was distracted when he rose from the armchair and seemed to be looking for some book on the shelves, except that he wasn't.

"I think I should go," Hermione said after the silence stretched for far too long. She stood and looked around for the door they had come through.

"Wait." His quiet word called her attention. He turned to look at her. "You're already here. Please, stay."

That warmed the cold feeling in the pit of her stomach; the fear she'd felt by his unexpected hostility dissolving into something bearable.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer the letter," she caught herself apologizing.

He sighed, walking back to the armchair. She sat on the one she'd vacated moments before.

"Hermione, I'm not good at this sort of thing," he said, looking fixedly at his hand, which played with the arm of the chair.

Hermione melted at the sight of his shyness. It was so rare to see Severus Snape vulnerable in any way. His ineptitude was kind of endearing, she thought.

"Severus," she called, and only continued to speak when he looked at her, "you're being silly." She smiled, unable to prevent her lightness of heart to show.

He made a show of rolling his eyes at her.

"You're not really that busy, are you?" When the little expression existent on his face disappeared under a mask of coldness, before he could say anything, Hermione anticipated, "I understand that you can't leave the castle at the mercy of the devil students pending risk of implosion and all that, what I'm asking is if you would mind my company. I'm good in Defense. We could make a good team. The students have no chance." She smiled again, this time less convincingly.

What if he rejects me? What was I thinking to propose this? Hermione expected the worst.

"Why would you want that?"

Better than the worst, she thought.

"We're friends, Severus, and that's what friends do. They hang around, spend time together, talk about nonsense," she explained, hoping he would buy that. She needed to be close to him, that was the reason, but she couldn't say that to him.

"Fine," he said.

She looked up from her hands, surprised that he'd agreed.

"On one condition," he added, and Hermione's smile never showed, "you'll grade my first-year essays."

"You can't help yourself, can you?"

He arched an eyebrow and his eyes danced with amused curiosity.

"Fine, but I'll be nice and give them all 'O's." She couldn't help but smiling. She was baiting Severus Snape and he was baiting her back.

"You'll only point out the errors. I'll say what the grades will be." He stood from the armchair and walked to the desk. With a murmured spell, a stack of parchments flew from his office to land neatly in the center

"I'll give them 'O's, and there is nothing you can do about it."

He took half of the essays and gave it to her. "You'll grade half, I'll grade the other half. If you give them 'O's, you'll be unfair to the half I'll grade."

"Slytherin bastard," she murmured, taking the pile of parchments and the quill and ink he provided her.

On the inside, Hermione felt light and silly, happy that he wasn't throwing her out.

o0oOo0o

Severus sat on his desk, a pile of essays to be graded in front of him, but little grading being done. He couldn't help but watch her when he knew she wasn't looking. She was an angel, putting herself through first-year essays because of him, because she wanted to spend time with him.

Angel….

Minerva's suggestive words came back to the forefront of his mind. There are no angels in Gryffindor. What kind of lover would Hermione be? Passionate, demanding fire, or like a delicate, tender flower? He could imagine her as both and that was doing things to his body.

"You're not grading your half," she complained, peering at him out of the corner of her eye.

Caught daydreaming, old pervert? Severus admonished. "Someone has to supervise your work."

She huffed and went back to work, and so did he. It'd been more than an hour of companionable work and furtive looks. He'd even made her laugh once. He'd forgotten how good this sort of joy could feel. When he'd suggested this task, he didn't know why he was doing so; it seemed a natural thing to ask of a friend. Now he realized why he'd felt that way. This was the kind of time he'd often spent with Lily, only they would write and discuss essays instead of grading them.

Severus concentrated on his share of the grading, content with Hermione's presence in the room. He lost himself in the task. That was why he stiffened startled when a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Relax," she said, and he tried to obey.

"What are you doing?"

"Have you ever noticed how tense you are when you work?" she asked, her hand moving on his shoulder, near his neck.

Merlin! His eyes closed when her move caused him pleasure. Her other hand jumped to his neglected shoulder to work there, too. He couldn't suppress the sigh that slowly escaped his mouth.

Everything was more than perfect until….

His eyes popped open when she made to undo the highest of his frockcoat's many buttons. He held her hand. "Hermione?" he asked unsure.

"I can't feel your muscles through all this wool," she justified.

This was dangerous. He was already very aware of her hands, as parts of his body could attest, and he wanted to feel them on his bare skin, but what would happen if he let her open his coat? He didn't know…. Lily had never done this to him; all his friendship parameters were useless now.

"Hermione, I'm more relaxed now than I've been in over twenty years."

"You have no idea what relaxed means, do you?" she asked, but didn't seem to be expecting any answer. "Where is the chocolate?"

"I put it away. Why?"

"I think we've graded more than enough essays for now. I'm going to teach you how to relax."

Dangerous again. Chocolate and Hermione was a very dangerous combination, but of course, she didn't know that.

You survived Lily; you can survive Hermione, too.

"I iam/i relaxed, Hermione," he tried one last time.

"Nonsense," she dismissed, and Severus was happy that she did.

She stepped back from his chair and went to area in front of the hearth, looking around for something. "Severus, do you mind if I Transfigure your furniture?"

"Go ahead."

He watched her wand work and his armchairs turned into a large sofa. Sofa and Hermione was an even more dangerous combination.

"What are you still doing there?" she asked. "I need you over here."

He looked suspiciously at the sofa. She came over him to take him by the hand.

"Come on. I promise it won't fall when you sit on it."

What about when you join me? he thought and immediately wanted to change his mind about this crazy idea.

"Hermione, this is not a good idea."

"Where is the chocolate?" she insisted.

"Hermione…."

She looked critically at him, biting her lower lip in the most enticing way. "Shoes off. Coat off."

Her words lost impact when she proceeded to take off her own shoes. Severus could only watch in horror what was quickly becoming his downfall.

"Severus?"

She has no idea what she's doing. He unbuttoned his frock coat and thought that he would be damned if he was going to be the one breaking the news; not when she was the one who wanted him to relax. Merlin forgive me….

"Chocolate?"

"Accio chocolate," Severus called, and the box of candy flew to his hand. He handed it to her. The delight in her eyes was almost too much.

"Sit down."

She helped him take off his boots.

"Lay down."

"Bossy," he complained, but acquiesced all the same.

"Close your eyes," she commanded next.

He looked intently at her upon that request. He was suspicious by nature.

She placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot in a mock show of impatience.

"You really are bossy, Hermione," he told her and closed his eyes. "Prank me and beware of the consequences," he warned her.

"Quiet now," she told him, her voice closer to his face than before – she must have kneeled. "Open your mouth."

"Hermione…." She couldn't be doing what he thought she was doing.

"Open it," she commanded again, more softly this time.

He opened his lips slightly, and felt the warmth of the chocolate touch them. He almost moaned at this dream coming true. He darted his tongue out to taste it. He'd died and gone to Heaven. This couldn't be real. Then she spoke.

"Take a bite."

Merlin….

He closed his teeth, taking a chunk of the candy, and couldn't hold his hum of pleasure. He chewed happily, enjoying every second. He opened his eyes then. Hermione was staring at his mouth with her own lips slightly parted.

"Take a bite," he told her.

Her eyes came up from his mouth to his eyes.

"Go on," he insisted.

She did as she was told, her eyes never leaving his. He watched as she closed the bitten candy in her mouth and chewed. iPerfection./i

He reached for her hand and pulled it to his mouth, darting his tongue towards the remaining candy. She gasped, and he realized what he'd just done. He released her hand at once and averted his eyes, ashamed of himself. He had known this wasn't wise from the beginning, but couldn't stop him or her from getting this far. She must be horrified.

"You should go now," he told her, moving into a sitting position and holding his head in his hands.

"Severus…."

"It's late, Hermione. I have to finish my grading."

"Severus, I'm sorry. It's all my fault–"

"Leave, Hermione."

He heard her move around, collecting her shoes and putting them back on. He could see the shadows her movements cast in the firelight. Suddenly, the movements ceased. He didn't dare look up; he knew she was looking at him. Then there were footsteps growing farther and farther away, until he was unable to hear them, leaving the crackling fire as his only company.

He'd ruined it. He'd lost Hermione just like he'd lost Lily.

Coming next… A happy ending?