My Class Meets One Piece Chapter 4:

We're gonna bring sexy back!

"Oh this is great. She'll never know that it was coming!" I heard a familiar voice say in my sleep. It came from above me, and it was someone I didn't want to hear this early in the morning. It was Rick-James.

"Dude, you do know that she's gonna kill you when she wakes up and finds out you poured syrup in her hair." I heard Grant say,

"Remember the time you accused her of getting it on with her cousin? I made a joke about it the next day and she kicke the shit outta me. I still have a dent in my shin, and that was two months ago!" A voice, Bobby-Joe's, said to my right,

"Good point, but I'm gonna enjoy seeing her all upset about her hair." Rick-James replied,

Rick-James, you die at sundown. I felt something disrupting the space above me, and I grabbed it with my eyes still shut and held on as tight as I could. From what it felt like, it was boney with some muscle. Probably an arm.

"SHIT! She's up! Run for your lives!" I heard Bobby-Joe say as he and some others ran away. I opened my eyes to see Rick-James above me with a bottle of syrup ready to pour on my head.

"H-h-hi Zoey." He stumbled out.

"Did you really think I wouldn't hear you Rick-James? You're the loudest boy in school. And don't you dare think that I forgot about you thinking I got it on with my cousin. And goddamnit, he's five years younger than me!"

Well, long story short, in Civics we were talking about laws that used to be illegal, and abortion was brought up. Someone, Pete to be exact, asked why anyone would have an abortion. My teacher said that it could be because of rape or incest. She asked if anyone knew what it was. Since I read fanfics online all the time, (incest not included. I found out the hard way was that was) I was the only one who knew what it was. So she made me tell everyone about it. They asked how I knew and I gave them the honest answer. Rick-James didn't listen to me and came to the conclusion that I got it going on with my cousin who hasn't even reached puberty yet, who lives on the opposite side of the country. He told all the guys in our grade. I got special permision from the principal to beat each and anyone of them who brought it up. I had a lot of fun beating Rick-James senseless with my biggest text book. Bobby-Joe was the next victim, who even though he ran as fast as hell, still didn't escape me and my 'Kick of Death'. I hope they both have dents on their bodies for as long as they live and that they never have kids.

After all, the last ting we want are a bunch of little Rick-James' running around the world causing chaos. If you ask me, I think I did a favor to the world.

"Rick-James, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be nothing but a spot of blood on the floor." I said in a scary voice as I pulled out my math text book, "Now then, DIE RICK-JAMES!" I shouted as I tried to hit him. He dodged and started to run around the boat. I followed with a killing intent surounding me. Nami came out of the cabin only to see Rick-James and I fighting. She sighed and said as she rubbed her temples with her fingers,

"I really should have stayed in bed today..."

"Oi, Sanji, I'm hungry. Make me some meat!" Luffy ordered as he sat on his special seat at the front of the ship.

"We're outta food Luffy. Someone's gonna hafta go fishing!" Sanji said from inside the kitchen.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BY STARVATION!" Al concluded. He's got a habbit of jumping to conclusions. He seems to not get the fact that assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

Well, with Al anouncing that we were all gonna die, anyone with only half a mind started to panic by running around in circles like headless chickens. Nami stopped the commotion by yelling, 'SHUT UP!' and threatend us by tossing us overboard. When everyone was calmed down, I started to kill Rick-James again while she said,

"Ok, there's an island up ahead, but we'll probably make it by noon. If any of you want food, start fishing." Chopper then made himself known by saying,

"Val's doing fine, she should be able to walk by next week."

"Be able to walk by next? Yeah right, try today!" A familiar voice said. Standing in the doorway of the cabin, was Val, with her bandages off with no scar at all.

"Val-san is ok!" Sanji rejoiced.

"Welcome back to the world of the living Val!" Gabbie said as she hugged Val.

"I'll never get used to your insanely fast healing rate." Jessica said as she joined in with Gabbie with hugging Val.

"You're just in time to witness Zoey murder Rick-James for the eleventh time this month." Brian said casually.

"What did you do this time Rick-James?" Val asked in a halfhearted tone. There was no answer, just him screaming bloody muder. She listened to him screaming before asking, "So you tried to pour syrup into her hair while she was asleep only she woke up?"

"How'd you figure that out? He didn't do nothin' but scream his voice box out."

"Deductive reasoning my dear Al."

"Anyway, when we're on the island, as much as it pains me to say this, we need to get a new boat. The bad news is is that we barelly have enough money to afford a row boat." Nami continued. Ussop hugged one of the ship's railings and said,

"We're never gonna replace the Merry! She was a gift from Kaya-chan!"

"Who's Kaya-chan, your girlfriend? Hey, what kind of name is 'Kaya-chan' anyway?" David asked in an annoying voice. Ussop blushed as he yelled,

"Her name's Kaya! And s-she's not my girlfriend, she's just a friend!"

"She might as well be. When Kaya got sick after her parents died, everyday he would sneak into her property and tell her stories to make her feel better." I explained as I continued to turn Rick-James into a pile of mush. Ussop had a shocked expression on his face.

"I know all about you guys, except Robin. Don't test me and my knowledge that I can blackmail you with."

"Ussop, we can still keep the Merry as a second boat that's tied up with this boat." Sanji said as he tried to pull the sharp-shooter off the railing. The long-nosed sniper let go, sending the two of them flying into a wall.

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Robin said as she looked up from my book, Roses are Red. I lent it to her last night and she told me that she was really enjoying it even though I had to tell her all about cars, computers and stuff like that.

"But the real problem is how we're gonna get the money when we still need food and new clothes for you all. I mean, lets face it, you all look out of place. I could lend some of my money to you..." Nami said with a sly look on her face. Zoro woke up from his nap just to warn us,

"Don't borrow money from Nami. She'll make you pay her back with three hundred percent intrest!"

"Speaking of which, Zoro you still owe me money from your new swords."

"Lay off it woman!"

"Don't you dare talk to Nami-san like that you shitty-marimo!"

"No one asked you love cook!"

"You wanna fight?"

"It's on!" YOSH! I get to see one of the Zoro vs. Sanji fights in real life! Kilnorc, Super Nanny and DJ Paynter will never believe this! I'd better get my cellphone out and record this for evidence! While I was recording the fight on my cellphone to post online when we got home, an idea introduced itself by smacking Bri in the head with a mallet.

"I know how we can raise enough money!" she announced.

"How?!" Nami asked with Beli signs in her eyes.

"Hey ya'll, it looks like we're gonna hafta re-enact the School Concert of Spring '06. It's time ta bring sexy back!" Everyone in my class cheered, while the Straw-Hat pirates looked confused.

"What's a concert?" Luffy asked.

"A concert is when a bunch of bands come together to play their music for people Captain-san. Reader-san told me all about the things that they have in their world." Robin explained.

"MELLORINE! Bri-chan and Robin-chwan are so smart!" Sanji said as he twirled around on hearts.

"So what's the plan?" Zoro asked. All of us girls got an evil look in our eyes as we looked at Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro.

"Boys, get Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji ready to bring sexy back. We'll take care of Nami and Robin. GET 'EM!" Ashely ordered as the dressing began. Let's just say that when we were done with all of them, they could make anyone drool or faint from blood lose. The guys managed to get Zoro into green swim trunks with black sides, revieling his scar from his fight with Mihawk. Sanji had blue swimming trunks on with white sides. Luffy had red trunks on that had a blue stripe on each side. We managed to get Robin and Nami into their skimpiest swimsuits. By the time we were done, land was in sight. Needless to say, the guys and Sanji were drooling at the sight of Nami and Robin while some of the girls in my class (I won't lie, I was included) were drooling at the sight of Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy.

I had no idea that Luffy had a six pack! Oh happy day! I must take pictures! And Zoro's so sexy with that scar! But Sanji-hentai is real pale and scrawny. Well, that's what he gets for always wears that suit.

"Ok, here's the plan: ya'll stay here until we come back with swimsuits and clothes. Then, Ashley will make a stage and Zoey will pull out a stereo and a turn-table from her backpack. Then, we bring teh sexy back!" Val told all of us. I stepped foward and said,

"Val, more people are gonna be out at nighttime, we should wait until then. You guys can put clothes over your swimsuits for now."

"Good idea. You guys can go and do what you want, just meet us at..." Nami looked at the docking site to look for a place to meet, "how about that place right there!" She said as she pointed to a resturaunt that probably go down into the basement for the sitting area.

"Looks good. Lets dock this ship and explore!" Luffy announced.

Later

"I'm not wearing it!" I shouted at all of the girls in my class from inside the dressing room.

"C'mon Zoey. It's not that bad!" Anna comforted. I poked my head from inside with my arms covering my torso and said,

"It's a skirt. I'm fine with it as long as I can put shorts under them. But this one is PINK and it's a mini skirt. You guys know I hate pink. And the last thing I want is Sanji-hentai flirting with me. Jeez, I hate that guy and his perverted ways sometimes..."

"But you look great in it!" Gabbie said as she tried to hand me a pink shirt with red hearts all over it.

"NEVER! I HATE PINK!" I shouted as I tossed the skirt to them and it landed on Maggie's head. I came out in my normal attire (Fadded jeans, converse black sneakers and a purple t-shirt) and walked to a rack.

"These are my kind of clothes. Easy to move in, comfy, non-prep, with a heck of a lotta pockets." I said as I held up a pair of tan cargos.

"NO! You need something nice and frilly!" Val declared.

"NEVER!" I said as I grabbed some clothes that I liked and ran out. "COMFORT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!

"Hey, get back here!" The manager shouted as he tried to follow me. Ashley sighed as Val stuck out her foot, tripping the manager as I made my escape.

"Can't she go one day without going crazy?" Jessica asked. Bri put her arm around the new student's shoulders and said,

"Poor naive Jessica. You haven't even seen her get to the top level of crazy yet."

"She can get crazier?"

"Not as nuts as Rick-James though..."

"Thank God for that..."

After tracking me down, we all went to the meeting spot, an underground resturaunt that was full of pirates. Much to our suprise, everyone was already there and pigging out as Nami was crying over the loss of her much-loved money. We grabbed some seats and sat down.

"How are we gonna get a new boat at this rate? Just about all our money goes to feeding everyone." Nami complained.

"Oi! As your captain, I demand that we stop spending so much money." Luffy said as he stuffed some more meat into his mouth.

"Hey! Give it back Luffy! I had it first!" Fort Knox said as he tried to get back a drumstick that Luffy grabbed. Luffy just streatched his neck and ate the drumstick. Fort Knox started to cry over the loss of his beloved food, but got over it when he saw another drumstick.

"MOST OF THE MONEY IS BUYING FOOD FOR YOU!" Everyone shouted at Luffy. Robin must have seen something because she said,

"Navigator-san, maybe you could ask the bartender if there is a way to earm more money around here. I looked at the bartender. Not much of a guy, he looked like all the other bartenders that I've seen. Nami got up and talked to him for a while before walking away with a smile.

"Ok guys, follow me. I found a way to make more money!" Al paled at hearing this and moaned,

"Oh boy, no good can come from this at all ya'll."