Chapter 7: Southerner's love racing!
After hearing the news that Nami found a way to raise money, all T.J. had to say was:
"Sweet! We might not hafta embarass ourselves again!" To which Val responded with a smile,
"Puh-lease T.J. You know you loved gettin' up on stage and shakin' yo thang!" We all stood up and followed the bartender who led us to a secret door. He opened the door and led us inside to a place with no lights.
"Hey, i-is this where you kill us with an axe or a chainsaw?" Grant asked. I mentally agreed. Hey, it seemed familiar from a horror movie I saw. Guy brings people into room, guy comes out alone with blood all over him. The bartender just laughed and said,
"Why would I want to do that? Now hurry inside and shut the door behind you." Omigoshhe'sgonnakillusisn'the? I don't wanna die! There are too many things for me to do! I need to see next week's episodes of CSI and Heroes! I need to tell kilnorc about Dusty's past! I need to read his next chapter! I need to update my fanfictions! I'm too young to die Lord!
"I take is that this is a bad time to say that I hate the dark." Fort Knox mumbled to himself. The bartender just rolled his eyes and lit a lantern and handed it to Zoro. With the light we could clearly see that we were in a tunnel.
"Echo!" Rick-James shouted only to hear his voice echo back multiple times.
"Hey, it's pitch black here. Can we get another light?" Ussop asked nervously.
"Just keep walking straight ahead. You'll get where you want to go from there." the tall man explained.
"Sugoi! This is gonna be fun!" Luffy shouted with excietment in his voice.
"Hey ya'll, I found my lighter!" Chuck announced as he light the small handheld lighter.
"Oh yeah, that's really gonna help us Chuck. We can't even see our hands infront of our faces with that damn thing." David complained.
"How'd ja get it past the museum security?" Jessica asked quietly. Chuck got a shifty look in his eyes.
"That's for me to know and you to never find out."
"In other words, he has weapons of mass destruction somewhere beneath his clothes and plans to kill us all." Grant said sarcasitcally. Chopper looked scared and quickly hid behind Zoro. It took about five minutes to convince the poor thing that Grant was just being sarcastic.
"Hey wait a minute! You haven't told us anything about how we get the money at all!" Nami accused. "She's right!" Ussop added.
"This is as far as I can go. You'll understand when you get there." The man stated bluntly.
"So we found a way to make money, only we don't know HOW to make the money...ow, my head hurts." Randy said as he rubbed his head.
"Ok then, lets go!" Luffy said with a smile only to be tackled by Ussop and Al.
"Dumbass! You're gonna trust this guy?! For all we know he's a part of the Navy or police who wants to kill us all!" Al stated.
"Yeah! This is way to convinient, it's gotta be a trap!" Ussop agreed.
"If you don't want to go, then just quit. At least this way I can sleep easier tonight." The bartender said.
"Sorry, but none of us quit when somethin's this excietin'." Bobby-Joe told him.
"Except with Pete and his puppy...poor thing never had a chance." Bri said sadly.
"I had a puppy?" Pete asked.
"I seem to recall last month where you came dancing to school chanting, 'I gotta puppy! I got my own puppy!'" Ana recalled.
"I dunno about you, but I'm going! This smells like a big adventure!" Luffy stated with that weird smile of his stuck to his face.
"Now you're sure that we can make some money here, right?" Nami asked again.
"If my sweet Nami-san wants her money, then we shall get it!" Sanji said as his eye turned into a heart.
"For some reason, Sanji reminds me of Ernest Hemingway..." Maggie said.
"Who was that?" Chopper asked as he tucked at the hem of her jeans.
"He was a famous author where we're from who had four wives; all of which he cheated on." Gabbie explained. The bartender coughed, making us pay attention to him again.
"As for the money, I don't lie, but I can't tell you the details." The bartender let out a sigh. Ussop curled into a ball and said while shivering,
"My chronic 'I-shouldn't-go-through-this-tunnel' disease is acting up again."
"Liar." everyone in my class said. Zoro put his hand on the liar's shouler and said,
"Give it up Ussop, Luffy already made up his mind to go."
"And don't forget that we need the money for a new boat. What choice do we have?" Sanji added.
"I've got a bad feeling about this..." Ussop and Al complained.
"Don't be such a wimp ya'll." Brian said.
"Luffy, is an adventure waiting for us up ahead?" Chopper asked with stars for eyes.
"Yeah!"
"Yosh!" Chopper said with sparkles around him.
"Let's go! To get my food money!" Luffy shouted.
"IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT?!" Everyone, except Robin, asked Luffy.
"Just show two 100 beli coins at the end. That's the password." the man told Nami. Geez, that's kinda lame. It should be something like, 'The raven flies at midnight' or something like that...
"Thanks a lot old man!" Luffy said before he began to lead us into the tunnel with Zoro holding the lantern next to him.
"Hey kid, can I ask you something?" The bartender asked.
"Can we hurry this us? It's moist in here and my hair's starting to frizz." Ashley complained. Some other girls nodded, but I didn't. I hate having my hair. It's always so flat and stringy and if I don't wash it every day i gets greasy. It's because of those things that I don't have a clue to how I'm gonna do my hair for the prom since I can't let it grow longer than my shoulders or it'll get even greasier. Don't question me, I've tried.
"I'll make it quick. Kid, why did you become a pirate?" He asked our captain. Luffy looked at the man and answered with a smile,
"To be the Pirate King. Besides, the sea is nice and free, right? Treasure hunting and adventures...besides, there's tons of cool stuff to do!"
"I have some advice for you: Stay alive." The bartender advised.
"Hey, c'mon Luffy! We can't be waitin' here for you forever!" T.J. said, who was slapped by Val.
"Be quiet midget!" As Zoro led us on, our eyes adjusted to the darkness. Al and Ussop were scared out of their witts while the rest of us walked on like walking through dark and creepy tunnels of doom were daily things. Actually, that is a daily thing, going to school with Rick-James, Bobby-Joe, David, Pete, and T.J. is hazardous to our health. Zoro seemed to make a face light he was squinting at something.
"What's wrong?" Sanji asked. Zoro turned his head so he could look at Sanji and answered,
"Eh, It's nothing." He turned his head to look hin front of him, only to come face-to-face with a glowing skeleton head. He, Ussop, Al, Nami, Chopper and all the girls and guys in my class (except me, I watch CSI and scary movies all the time making me immune to all the scary things in life except death) yelled in fear. Zoro tossed the lantern in the air and managed to catch it. Only, he was holding on to the glass part of the lantern. He shouted, 'OUCH', from the heat, tossed it into the air again, and fell down. Acting quickly, Sanji caught the lantern handle with his foot.
"Ohmygod. I thought that there was some serial killer or somethin'." Bri sighed out. Rick-James's eyes rolled to the back of his head and fainted. To tell you the truth, I think there was some foam at the side of his mouh.
"Oi Zoro! What are you trying to...oh?" Sanji scolded before we all noticed that there was a man standing in front of a door. Turns out, the skelenton head was his face luminated by his own lantern in his hand.
"Who the hell are you?" T.J. asked. All the girls in my class tackled him and shouted,
"DON'T ASK SOME SCARY-LOOKING GUY THAT!"
"Hang on Sanji..." Nami said before any of us could beat someone up. She walked forward and said while stepping over Zoro, "Zoro you're in the way. But there's no need to worry sir. We've got the password right here." She flashed two 100 beli coins in front of him. The man grunted and opened the door that he was guarding. Chuck grabbed Rick-James, who was still kocked out, by both his ankles and dragged him in while we walked inside. Our eyes widened and we all gasped at what we saw.
Inside was a HUGE room that was filled with pirates eating, drinking, and all kinds of stuff. Not only was it a room, but it had dozens of floors, each one with pirate flags hanging over the railing. At the bottom was a pool of water where two giants were drinking together. At the top was a boat hanging on a pulley. Luffy, Chopper, and Ussop were the most excited out of all of us.
"I changed my mind about this world. I've died and gone to heaven." Pete said with wide eyes as he eyeballed the dessert table. Chip 'eek'ed in agreement.
"Dibs on the beer!" Most of my male classmates shouted. Hearing the word, 'beer' somehow revived Rick-James from his unconscious state.
"What is this place?" Ussop asked in amazement. Zoro walked up behind us, finally after getting up saying, "Man that thing was damn hot."
"There were only a few ships in the port when we got here." Nami thought aloud. A perverted voice asked us,
"Hey cuties! Did ja come here ta bet? The bookmarker's on the top floor." We looked at the owner of the voice, who was playing poker. Dear Lord in heaven, not another pervert. Jeez, I really do hate them...Too many bad experiences with them to last a lifetime...
"Bookmarker?" Everyone asked.
"Don't tell me that you're here ta enter the race?" The man asked in disbelief.
"The race?" Nami asked.
"Are you kidding? Southerner's love racing! We're even from the home city of NASCAR (1)" Bobby-Joe shouted as he punched his fist in the air.
"All you see are ca-I mean boats sailing around a circle as fast as they can go. Nothing is exciting about that." I told him dully.
"Don't even think about entering the race! You'll just be wasting your lives away." he told us as he returned to his game.
"Ah, so this is the place. It's been a while, so I didn't remember it at first." Robin said.
Of course Robin knows about this... "Robin-chwan is so smart!" Sanji said while flying on hearts.
"So what is this place? Make the answer snappy 'cause I want beer!" David asked annoyingly.
"I was once here with the captain of the pirate ship that I boarded. It's not an anually even, but it's a big race held here once every few years."
"RACING!"
THWAP!
"SHUT UP! LET ROBIN TALK!" I shouted at the now bruised Bobby-Joe. While he rubbed his shin in pain, Robin continuted,
"It's the organized by pirates, for pirates, anything-goes Dead End Race. All of the citizens of the town were at one point pirates. The end is different every time, but the starting point is always here. Competitors sail there by using Eternal Poses given to them when they enter."
"What are the rules?" Val asked.
"I was getting there Fire-san. Whoever reaches the goal first wins. The winner recieves the prize. Whatever happens durring the race is your problem." Robin answered. Sanji lit another ciggarette as Zoro said,
"Sounds easy enough."
"It's about as simple as figuring out what's going to happen next." Sanji said as he took a puff from the poison on a stick.
"I dunno guys... this race has some weird bad mojo vide to it." Brian said.
"Yeah, I mean, it sounds too easy. There's gotta be something else behind it that we don't know about." Bri said as she rubbed her chin and her eyes moved to the upper right of her view, indicating that she was in deep thought. Fort Knox interrupted her thinking by saying,
"You think too much Bri."
"Yeah, it sounds too dangerous. On the other hand, it might not be so bad with a crew like ours. And it looks like Luffy's ready to join." Nami replied as she looked at the strange crew, "Hey, who else is entering the race?" she asked the guy from before.
"You kids really are gonna enter? Well, my guess is that about a third of the people here are entering."
"Wow...that's a lot of people." Ussop, Luffy, Al, Chopper, Rick-James, and Randy said at the same time.
"The two giants at the bottom are Bobby and Pogo. They're the third favorites." The man explained. One their names is Pogo? Like a Pogo Stick? Something is deffinetly wrong right there. Wonder what his mom was thinking when she named him...
"So there're giants entering!" Ussop said with a smile. I knew he was probably remembering the two giants he admired on Little Garden.
"I didn't think that giants exsisted." Jessica said as she peered over the railing.
"Then again, with such things as Devil Fruits and the shit that happens to us everyday, it's hard not to belive." Fort Knox told her.
"On the terrance in front of us is an old rival of Arlong, Grampus Mermaid Willy. He's the second favorite." The man continued. We looked ahead of us to see a large group of fishmen drinking grog.
"Even a merman!" Nami said with a fake smile on her face and her eye started to twitch rapidly. Everyone in my class looked confused, but I understood. Nami had a bad past involving a merman who killed her foster mom while the same merman forced her to work for him until she got 100 million beli to buy her villiage back.
I'll fill them in later... "An old rivial of Arlong's?" Ussop asked with a fake smile also on his face. Nami ran towards Luffy, who was skipping (yes, skipping) in joy with Chopper in his arms, and grabbed his ear while saying,
"Hang on Luffy! We haven't even decided if we're entering in the race yet! Besides, there's no point in taking part in a crazy thing like this!"
"How much is the prize?" Robin asked the man.
"I think it's 300,000,000 beli this year." he replied. Nami let go of Luffy's ear and declared,
"We are entering in the race!"
"AYE!"
While Nami signed us up, Zoro, Luffy, Ussop, Chopper, Rick-James, Bobby-Joe, Pete, Brian, Chuck, Gabbie, Bri, Ana, Val, and I went and found a table to eat at. Luffy might has well have been inhaling all the food in his sight. All the rest of us had forks and knives ready to stab his hands if they tried to steal our food. The guys in my class, along with Zoro, were getting drunk.
"Are ya'll sure you should be drinkin' like that? Ya'll are underage." Val pointed out as she slurrped some spaghetti.
"We're fine Val." Pete said as he put down his first bottle of beer down.
"Hey Luffy, weren't you full earlier?" Zoro asked.
"Nope! That was only around 60 percent full!" We all rolled our eyes and continued eating. I personally put my knife into the rare steak I'd recieved when I saw Luffy strech his arms and grabbed the food a waiter was trying to keep away from another man with a yellow sweater on. The man who was eating swallowed and glared at Luffy, who continued to stuff his face.
"Zoey, wasn't there a CSI episode where a guy died by eating ta death?" Gabbie asked. I nodded and recalled,
"It was the Thanksgiving episode of '06. A man was found in a dumpster with a smile on his face. COD (cause of death) was because the guy ate so much that his stomach was six liters in volume; the maximum of liters is four. He died from asphyxia, or suffocation. The guy litterally ate himself to death. He didn't stop eating beause he had a disorder that didn't send a signal from the stomach to the brain saying that it was full. Who knew?"
"Did we need ta hear that?" Ana said as my friends pushed their plates away. Luffy grabbed some more food from waiters and swallowed them.
"I swear dude, you're a living vacum cleaner." Chuck declared.
"What's a vacum cleaner?" Chopper asked. Before any of us could answer, Ussop said,
"It's a giant monster that eats everything in sight. It's bigger than a Sea King!"
"REALLY?!"
"Of course. I fought and killed one when I was only a year old!"
"USSOP YOU'RE-" Chopper started, but we all said,
"Such a liar."
"Don't listen to him Chopper. A vacum cleaner is a device from our world that is used for cleaning houses. It literally sucks all the dust away." Gabbie reassured the reigndeer.
"Hey, if a vacum cleaner sucks, is that a bad thing?" Pete asked.
"Gah! The retorical questions have returned to confuse me yet again!" Val shoutd as she cluctched her head. Suddenly, there was a loud 'CRASH!'
Goddamnit Luffy! What the hell did you do now?
(1) Well, that should tell you where we're from. But I moved in August, so can't find me! But the good part of living there was that at the local hospital, they filmed the hospital scene from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby there! One of my mom's friends was there for a check up and she saw Will Ferrell walking down the hall. When asked what he was doing there, he just said, "Oh, we're just filming a movie scene here." XD How awesome is that?!