My Class Meets One Piece: Restoring the Faith
"Warum hältst du nich einfach mal die klappe! Warum kriechen Sie in einem Loch nicht nur und sterben?! (1) Pete shouted as he attempted to kick David in the chest. David glared at Pete before grabbing the attacking foot in his hand and yelling,
"¡Yo no tengo ninguna idea lo que usted dice, pero tiene que ser un insulto usted bastardo!" (2) Pete made a punching motion with his hand, but David was surprised to see that Chip was in the air, ready to attack. He let go of Pete's foot and tried his hardest to get the monkey off his head.
Alex and Nami weren't physically fighting, they were just using words. You know that old saying, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?' Bullshit. I've gone through people hurting me mentally in Middle School and you could never pay me enough to go back. After all, girls can be the most violent of all people. The phrase does go, "Hell hast no fury like a woman scorned', isn't it?
"You don't always have to be so hardcore and heartless Nami! When we're stressed, we always try to make a joke up to lighten the mood, it's what we do!"
"Joking around isn't going to help us get money for a new boat Ana!"
"Yeah, but if people just keep on working and not take a little time to calm down and have fun, people go insane!"
Needless to say with all of the arguing, I was developing a headache bigger than Alaska. And when I have headaches, I get REALLY irritable. And my right eye was twitching like mad.
Shut up goddamnit...shut up...can't they just be quiet...Jeez, I feel like I'm in the middle of my parents 'Once a month argument'...
"Hey Zoey, can you do a little crowd control so I can knock some sense into them?" Bri asked as she pushed her red rectangular reading glasses up her nose.
"Don't need to ask me twice Bri." I cleared my throat "...SHUT THE F&#K UP!" I shouted, making it louder with my new powers. Everyone got real quiet real fast.
"What the hell are we doing? Fighting about money? So what if it's not enough to get a new boat? We're smart, we can figure it out!" Bri said.
"I know you guys are smart, but I don't know about them." Ussop said bluntly as he pointed his thumb towards the fighting duo that was Pete and David. Sanji took care of them by kicking each of them in the head.
"OW! Que era- I mean, what was that for?!" David asked as he, Pete, and Chip the monkey rubbed their new bumps forming on their heads.
"You shit-heads are making the girls angry." He replied as he lit another cigarette.
"Yeah, but Monkey-boy over here insulted me and my family. No one does that and gets away with it!" David complained as he put Pete and Chip the monkey in a choke hold. Grant hit him in the head, releasing the now blue Pete and pet monkey. Once Pete had oxygen in his lung, he scolded David,
"Oh yeah, you called me a bastard! I outta punch your face in!" I sighed.
"Ashley, can you separate the fighting couple?" Val asked. The Canadian just rolled her eyes and used her powers to move them away on different pieces of earth.
Ah yes, gotta love them Devil Fruit powers. Dear Devil Fruit powers, what would we do without you? Oh! I know! We'd be boring! I don't like being boring, it's no fun at all! Yay for being weird!
"So what if he called you that?" Maggie said boldly, "We're family dumb asses. And right now, we need a boat to win this race. And Bri's right, it's stupid to fight about something that we can easily fix if we calm down and talk about it." I'm pretty darn sure we were all shocked. Maggie never said so many words in a sentence!
"You're not just family," Luffy said with a smile, "You're our nakama, and we're even closer than family." I smiled.
He many be a complete idiot, but he has his moments, just like in the manga and anime…that's it, Luffy must have A.D.H.D.
"Hey ya'll, we gotta lead on who made the ship go BOOM!" We heard Fort Knox shout. The trio was back with a little boy dressed to work in a boiler room.
"This is Anaguma. He was going to stow away on our boat, but saw someone load dynamite in it." Brian introduced us.
Wait a minute, doesn't 'anaguma' mean 'badger'? What in the world were his parents thinking when they named the poor child?! "Hey! Let's give our kid a lousy name so he can grow up to be all emo!" Well at least it's not as bad as the daughter of Governor Hogg. Poor Ima Hogg…
"Who was it?! Who blew up my sweet Kaya-chan's gift?! Who blew up the Going Merry?!" Ussop demanded as he grabbed the Anaguma's overalls and shook the little boy so hard I thought the kid's head would fall off.
"It was...it was a man who's part of the crew that my Grandpa an' I work for." Anaguma murmured after we were able to stop Ussop from killing the kid with all of his shaking.
"What crew is that? It sounds real scary." Chopper asked in a scared voice as he poked his head out from behind Zoro.
"Did that moose just talk?!" The boy asked in a shout. Chopper quickly changed into his big body builder form while yelling,
"I'M A REINDEER YOU STUPID HUMAN!" Anaguma hid behind Brian and shouted,
"THAT'S EVEN WEIRDER!" Chopper shrunk back to his normal, cute form and hid behind Zoro. Rick-James put both of his hands on Anaguma's shoulders and asked in a serious voice,
"But seriously dude, what crew are you on?" I raised my eyebrows and added today into my mental 'Remember this Day' list. It's not everyday that you hear Rick-James talk in a serious tone. I've only heard him should like this for three different reasons: Either he was playing basketball, really, really tired, or angry.
"I'm...I'm on General Gasparde's crew." Anaguma answered grimly.
Again with that name! First we heard it in that pirate place and now here! Who the hell is he?!
"Well then why don't we go around and ask anyone what they know about him?" Luffy asked.
"We already tried that, ya'll. But when we talked to people 'bout it, everyone we asked had the same answer." T.J. reported.
"What was the answer?" Sanji asked.
"'AAAHHH! AAAAAHHHH! AAAAHHHH! AAAAHHHH!' and then they would run away like a pig running from a butcher when it was its turn in line to be turned inta bacon." he answered.
Mmmmm…bacon…
"Not ta mention, all Anaguma knows is that he's mean, enjoys toying with people, and he's got a high bounty cuz he used ta be in the Marines, but he took over one of their ships and became a pirate. He also ate a Devil's Fruit like ya'll did. He don't know much more cuz he an' his grandpa work in the boiler room." Brian reported.
"Thank you for the information Storm-san, Bone-san, Cut-san, and Anaguma. But one question still remains unanswered: How are we going to raise money?" Robin asked us. Al's eyes lit up as a light bulb lit above his head.
Holy shit! Was that a light bulb doing off above his head? Hang on... AL HAS AN IDEA?! HOLY SHIZNAT, THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL!
"I don't see why we didn't think of this before! We're pirates for cryin' out loud! We don't listen to the rules, so all we hafta do is just steel a ship from a carpenter!" There was a long pause.
"THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA!" Luffy, Chopper, and Ussop shouted at the same time. Until the rest of us bluntly said, "No it isn't." Al seemed to be glowing in a magical spotlight that appeared from nowhere. But after hearing our reply to his idea, he got those anime comical tears flowing down his face and curled up in the fetus posistion.
"Hmph. I don't see why no one thought of it earlier." Zoro sighed out as he crossed his arms.
Gya! Now I remember why Zoro is one of the most wanted guys of One Piece by girls back home! He's got that 'I'm bad ass and I know it' air! Wait, I can't think of stuff like this right now! I need to concentrate on what's going on right now! Stupid ferret-long attention span! Hey look! A shiny coin! SHINY! Wait! Stop it Zoey! Jeez Zoey, you're such a baka! Baka baka baka baka baka!
"I thought of it before Merry blew up!" Ussop bragged/lied. Luffy and Chopper got stars in their eyes.
"Really?!" They asked with excitement.
"No way." We all said before he could answer and make up more stories/lies. Before Ussop could even begin to cry besides Al, Alison's quiet voice was heard saying,
"Hey ya'll…I think I may have an idea on how to get a boat."
Translations:
(1) Just shut your mouth why don't you! Why don't you just crawl in a hole and die?!
(2) I have no idea what you are saying, but it has got to be an insult, you bastard!