A/N: Thanks to Ellie for the beta and to all of you for the reviews. They've really been beautiful to read so far and I'm so grateful for the support this story is getting. I hope you guys enjoy this. I know this story is taking awhile but I've never been a fan of just throwing LP together...I'm a sucker for the build up. (oh and off topic, but isn't BP adorable this season? I swear they're my favorite pairing on the show...more so than LP)

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH.

Chapter Eight: Heart

The heart is without a doubt one of the most complex notions in a human being's vocabulary. The word itself represents two different concepts that over the years have twisted and twined together. On one hand, we have the literal heart, the strongest muscle in the human body. It lurks in our chests, keeping us alive with a steady and soothing thumping.

On the other hand, we have the figurative heart, the lock box which compartmentalizes all our emotions and feelings. Fear, anger, joy, humor. All of these emotions are divvied up in the storage place that is the heart. Most of all, though, the heart is the symbol of love, the greatest force on earth.

It is only natural to believe that both these versions are indeed connected and not only by name alone. For instance, when you lose someone you love, it's more than common to experience a clenching and tightening in your chest, right where your heart is. Scientists, for years, have been trying to explain why it happens.

There is no logical explanation for why your chest would hurt because of figurative "heartache." The most these scientists can come up with is that humans have made the subconscious connection between the physical heart and figurative heart, and there is no way to tell how deep this connection has come to be.

And thus, it begs the question, is it possible that if heart break runs deep enough, it could literally break your heart?

"Is it possible that New York is bigger than I imagined?"

"You seriously have never been to New York?" Peyton said, as she paid the vendor for her pretzel. She offered Jake a bite but he shook his head.

"Nope."

"Well you'll get used to it. I have a feeling you'll be seeing a lot of this place."

"Lovely," Jake muttered.

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with New York."

"Yeah, well, I'm just not a big city kind of guy," Jake replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. His eyes darted around the street as if looking for an exit back to Savannah.

"It's not like you're going to have to move here or anything," Peyton said, softly, "You'll just probably be going on tour soon. You're going to see a lot of big cities, not just New York."

"You think we'll get to see Chicago?" Jake asked, holding the door open for her as they slid into One Astor Plaza, otherwise known as MTV studio.

"Eventually," Peyton smiled.

Lucas stared at the blank computer screen in front of him. His book has only been out for a few months and yet he was already feeling the pressure to start the next one. It was as if he had something to prove. He had taken to holing up in his study, only the glow of the computer shedding any light in the room.

Lindsey didn't say anything of it, but they were treading on thin water as it was. The news that Lindsey couldn't have children had struck Lucas to his very core. The one thing he'd always wanted in life was a family, a handful of kids running around and a dog and a white picket fence.

Then again, he'd always wanted to marry Peyton Sawyer and play professional basketball with Keith cheering him on from the sidelines.

Life never worked like you planned it.

Lindsey had immediately suggested adoption, and Lucas wasn't sure how to respond to that so he had opted for a maybe. Whenever he thought of adoption, he thought of Peyton, and the look on her face when she learned the truth about Ellie. Would they be honest with their child about being adopted? If they did, would she/he want to find her birth parents?

The questions had kept him up all night, and brooding all day. Lindsey had tried to pull him out of his shell, offering him distractions that for the most part kept his dark thoughts away, but always lurking in the shadows. It felt sometimes like he was on the brink of a midlife crisis about two decades too soon.

"Lucas! Come quick!"

He sighed snapping shut his laptop. Maybe whatever distraction Lindsey had in mind this time would actually do him good. He padded out into their living room where Lindsey was curled up on the couch watching MTV of all things.

"What is it?"

"Look," Lindsey said, patting a seat next to her. Lucas settled on the couch, his eyes focusing on the Nike commercial.

"What are we watching?"

"TRL."

"Any reason why?"

"You'll see."

Lucas just nodded, the sound of shrieking throng of fans alerting his attention to the show's return. He had to blink twice when he recognized who was standing next to the host.

"Hey welcome back," the host said, "We've got Jake Jagielsk with us. And if you don't recognize that name, it's okay. He's an up and coming artist whose debut single "Can't Get By" just cracked the top twenty on Billboard's single charts. His album is also well on its way to going double platinum. So basically, if you don't know his name now, you will soon enough. Right, Jake?"

"Right," Jake chuckled.

"So what was it like when you heard the album jumped twenty spots?"

"It was like an out of body experience. I seriously didn't know what to do. I think I wound up just hugging my daughter for a good thirty minutes while my wife talked to my record manager."

"The producers and I were talking about this over the break. Your label…we've both never of it."

"It's called Musicians w/ Benefits, and it was started by a good friend of mine named Peyton Sawyer. It's very grass roots. All about the artist and fans and making a product that will really please both."

"Sounds a lot more hands on than usual."

"Well it helps that Peyton and I have a history together. She's kind of become my muse," Jake shrugged, placing his hands his pocket. Lucas felt the urge to roll his eyes. If Peyton was anyone's muse, it was Lucas'.

"And you wife doesn't mind that?" the host asked, and Lucas found himself goading Jake along with the guy, only to realize he was being the world's biggest hypocrite.

"Honestly?" Jake laughed, "My wife and Peyton are almost as close as Peyton and I are."

"You know what? I'd love to meet this Peyton."

"Well she is backstage."

"Let's bring her out here then…why the hell not?"

From the entrance, Lucas could see a figure being poked and prodded up to the stage, her head ducked so that her straight blonde fell into her face, blocking those beautiful green eyes. Her outfit was not as professional as Lucas would have expected, but then maybe that was red-blooded male in him reacting to the short black skirt that showed off her smooth tan legs. She flattened her leather jacket before joining Jake, tugging at his hand, a friendly gesture that made Lucas's stomach twinge not quite from jealousy, but possibly from something similar.

"We don't have much time, Ms. Sawyer. We want to get in a song from Jake, but I have to say you look damn familiar," the host joked, dangling the cover of Jake's album in front of the camera.

"Oh God," Peyton muttered, burying her face in Jake's shoulder, "I so regret that."

"You shouldn't. You look hot, utterly depressed, but pretty damn hot nonetheless."

"Ha!" Peyton said, "Thanks."

"Seriously though, you've really done a remarkable job with your label. Most people never get here or if they do, they're ten or twenty years older than you when it happens."

"Well I can't take the credit for that. Jake's the one who got us here. I just found a way to make it come together."

"Indeed," the host said, turning to Jake, "All right man. What are you going to play for us?"

"What do you think, Peyton?" Jake asked, wry grin on his face.

"Someday," Peyton said, matching his grin.

"Okay," Jake smiled as he adjusted the guitar strap on his shoulder.

It's the biggest storm in years, they say

Couldn't take a plane so I hopped a train

Well I'd like to stay

In a stormy winter day

So I'll come back to you someday.

It was at this point that the camera panned to Peyton. Her face was tipped into a soft smile, one that seemed nostalgic, but that couldn't reach her eyes. Lucas stared, transfixed by the inner radiance shining through the television his very soul. A million words sprung to his mind but they were but soft echoes and nothing more.

"Even if only for a day," Jake sang, "'cause I'll come back to you someday."

If only it were that simple.

Lucas blinked. Those words had just rung clearly through his head, muttered by the husky baritone voice of Peyton Sawyer. Her face was still on camera, happy to the untrained eye, but painfully lost to Lucas who could read her like a book.

He stood up mumbling an excuse to Lindsey who was too wrapped up in Jake's performance to notice. Lucas wandered down the hall. His hands trembled and his breaths were being drawn quicker than usual. The voice that had echoed through his head had felt so real, as if he had been reading her mind.

If it were only that simple.

It wasn't the words themselves that got to him, but the tired voice behind them. The one filled with aching. He could hear the heartache more clearly than any words she had ever uttered aloud to him.

Oddly most of all he knew the sentiment had been directed to him despite the fact that she was listening to Jake. There was that look in her eyes, the one she saved for when he, and he alone, hurt her. The look of utmost betrayal.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back. Lindsey's sterility. Writer's block. Book reviews that attacked him as a person rather than his book. And now this, Peyton's reminder of the heart ache they both shared, the one he had tried so hard to bury beneath the surface of everything that was crashing down around him. He felt his whole body wretch in agony at the revelations, causing him to fall to his knees. He clutched at his heart, which burned and padded violently against his chest, twisting his insides. He wanted to hurl. He wanted to cry.

The sharp pain caused his eyes to snap shut, tears falling down his cheek. He felt the world go hazy, Jake's voice falling away and silence replacing it. As the dark encompassed him, he was only aware of his body hitting the floor before it all went blank.

His heart broke for her. Literally.

"You know, Jagieleski, if I didn't know you were married, I think I'd be all over you right now," Peyton mused.

"Excuse me?" Jake said, tripping over the words.

"Well it's just this is so incredibly sweet of you. It makes you like ten times hotter than you already were."

"Careful, Peyton, you're making me blush," Jake laughed, as they exited the elevator into New York-Presbyterian's neurology ward.

"Does she know?"

"Who?" Jake asked, distractedly.

"The little girl who you're surprising with a visit."

"Uh no," Jake shrugged, "Her mom does, though, but they wanted to make it a surprise for her."

"Wow."

Jake stopped suddenly in his tracks, turning around so he was face to face with Peyton. "This is weird. I've influenced someone's life. Someone actually heard my song and found hope in it. This thirteen year old girl…I…Peyton…"

She saw the tears forming in his eyes.

"It's okay, Jake," Peyton said wrapping her arms around him, "It's a lot to take in."

"Yeah well, I never thought this would happen. Never in a million years."

"But it did."

"Thanks to you," Jake smiled wiping away his tears, "God Peyton you're amazing." He hugged her again.

"Okay there chief," Peyton laughed against the curve of his shoulder, "I think there's a little girl waiting for you in there."

"Yeah," Jake sighed, pulling away, "Do you want to come in with me?"

"No," Peyton shook her head, "I'll just hang out in the cafeteria. Text me when you're done, okay?"

Jake nodded, and Peyton watched him slide into the room. She let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding. So far the past two days had been hectic, filled with so many overwhelming firsts for both Jake and Peyton. Yesterday's TRL had bolstered Jake's visibility along with Peyton and the label in unimaginable ways and now they found themselves being spotted everywhere they went.

Peyton was emotionally exhausted. She was learning that even if she was indeed cut out for this type of lifestyle, she still was getting used to it. She would have to call Brooke for some pointers on how to deal. In the meantime, she guessed the coffee would be the best way to get by.

Peyton headed down to the cafeteria, hoping to buy a magazine and sit out the time that Jake was busy. She could have opted for some sightseeing while Jake was busy here, but for some reason she felt the need to stay. She didn't dwell on it long. It had been a long time after her mom died before she could stomach hospitals again. But in Tree Hill, someone was always in an accident or on the brink of death, and she had learned to cope with the wretched places.

Sighing at the thought, she slid the clerk at the checkout a five. She spotted a free table in the corner where she could sip her coffee and catch up on the latest celebrity news in peace. She wondered briefly if they'd mention Brooke's clothing line in here. Now that would be something.

Flipping through the celebrity fashion pages, she took her first sip of the drink and nearly gagged. For such an amazing hospital, they sure had some crappy coffee. The magazine only kept her entertained for a few minutes and she found herself people watching instead. Everyone in the cafeteria looked so sullen, granted that made sense, but it still made Peyton depressed.

Then she spotted someone familiar, or at least, she thought the person looked familiar. She was so sure it was an illusion. After all, what would Lindsey be doing in a hospital? Unless…maybe her father was ill? Peyton frowned at the thought. She liked Mr. Strauss. The two of them had bonded in that short time they spent mocking Lucas. Even the thought still brought a smile to Peyton's face.

Peyton sucked up the courage to approach the woman. She knew deep down that this might mean a confrontation with Lucas, but Peyton felt ready for once. It was as if by coming here to New York, she had already accepted the possibility. She'd never be over Lucas, but she was learning that avoiding him wasn't going to make it any better, either.

"Lindsey?" Peyton asked timidly as she approached the woman, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Peyton?" Lindsey asked, eyes bulged, "Oh my God! What are you doing here?"

"Long story. One of my clients is visiting a girl here," Peyton said, "What about you?"

"Oh God, Haley didn't tell you?"

"Haley doesn't have my number," Peyton admitted, "Only Brooke does. Oh God, what happened Lindsey?" Her face dropped, as her thoughts drifted from Mr. Strauss to Lucas.

"Lucas had a heart attack."

"What?" Peyton whispered, her voice crushed under the weight of her own emotion.

"I don't know how it happened. He's been taking his pills. And I've been even watching what he eats," Lindsey let a few tears slipped, matching the ones that had already fallen from Peyton's eyes, "But I found him on the floor yesterday. We had been watching you on TRL, oddly enough and he just collapsed in the other room."

"Where is he?"

"He just got out of surgery. They put him the ICU, and now I'm freaking out because Haley flew in from Tree Hill to see him and I need to go get her, but I don't want him to wake up alone."

"I'll go," Peyton blurted out.

"You'll stay with him?" Lindsey asked, and Peyton's eyes flickered. She had meant to say that she would go find Haley, but suddenly the thought of staying with Lucas seemed so much more pertinent. Her heart ached for him, for the pain he was in and the fact that by chance, she had an opportunity to make sure he was okay. It was all too much to reject.

"Sure," Peyton said softly, "If you're sure, that is?"

"Definitely," Lindsey said, "I want someone he knows there when he wakes up."

Peyton nodded, before texting Jake to let him know she'd meet him back at the hotel. She didn't give him any of the details, but she figured this was something best left to explaining in person.

It was the strangest sense of déjà vu. She had been in this place, by his bedside, three times now, and each time, the fear was just as prevalent. Even though she hadn't seen him in almost a year, it was as though she was still looking at him through the eyes of a sixteen-year-old girl, afraid of losing the only person who had ever gotten her, her true love. It didn't matter how much he had hurt her, or how much they couldn't be together, her biggest fear would always be losing him for good.

Death. It was the only thing that guaranteed that she'd never see Lucas Scott again.

She reached up to smooth down the hair just above his ear. His skin was warm to the touch, still as soft as she remembered too. She picked up his hand, the heartbeat monitor hooked on his index finger making it difficult for it to hold. The only safe place in this world had been with that hand wrapped around her own, or on the small of her back.

"I love you," she whispered, kissing his hand. She settled her head down on the space next to him, listening carefully to the rhythm of the machine. Her eyes had only been shut a second when she felt rather than heard him shift.

She perked up right away, leaning over him so she could check his vitals. It was during this motion, that Lucas's eyes cracked open. The light from the drawn curtain cast a bright glow around the woman above him. Her blonde hair even brighter than usual and when her green eyes snapped to meet his, they looked even more beautiful than he remembered.

"Is this heaven?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. He was straining to speak, to be heard.

The voice caught Peyton off guard, even if she had noticed he was awake.

"I wish, Lucas," Peyton smiled, "If it were, this would be a lot simpler to explain, huh?"

Lucas frowned, not sure what to make of this if it wasn't heaven. If he hadn't died, then why was Peyton here? He moved his mouth to ask her, but she cut him off.

"I need to go," Peyton whispered. And she did. Every moment she spent with an awake Lucas was another moment she was closer to relapsing.

"Don't go."

"No, Lucas," Peyton said firmly, "It's not like that anymore." It was a lie, and they both knew that deep down.

Lucas looked away, his eyes focusing on the large bouquets of flowers encompassing his room. "It hurts…"

"I'll have the doctor check your scar on my way ou-"

"Not the scar…"

Peyton bit her lip at the words, but didn't respond.

"It always hurts. Every. Single. Day. There's no relief." Lucas turned to look back at her, their eyes locking. "It's always gonna be there, isn't it?"

"I need to go," Peyton repeated, her eyes brimming with tears she didn't want Lucas to see. Lucas frowned, lifting his weak hand to rub his eyes.

"I understand."

She nodded at him, reaching over to briefly squeeze his hand before walking out. She paused at the doorway, mulling over whether she could say more to him.

"Hey Lucas."

"Yeah?" he croaked, straining to bring his voice louder than a dull whisper.

"You and Lindsey should look into adoption."

He sighed. "You heard about that?"

"Yeah. I think it's a shame because you'd make a wonderful father, but I'm sure there's a little girl or boy already out there who needs one."

Lucas smiled. "Thank you."

"Just do me a favor," Peyton said seriously.

"What?"

"Don't name them Sam."

Lucas' smile quickly slid from his face, replaced with a much more somber look.

"Never."

Flashback

"Hey Peyton, I've got a question for you."

"Can it wait one second while I put my laundry in the dryer?"

"Go for it," Lucas laughed.

Peyton just smiled setting the phone down on the washer while she maneuvered the load from one machine to the other. These phone calls had become a daily thing for the young couple, the distance between L.A. and Tree Hill becoming more and more prominent as each day passed. Lucas was only a half a semester into college and he already missed Peyton more than he ever thought possible. The feeling was mutual for Peyton.

"Okay," Peyton said, readjusting the phone on her ear, "What's your question?"

"Do you want kids?"

Peyton's jaw dropped, almost causing the phone to tumble to the ground and shatter. That question was entirely out of the blue. One minute they had been talking about the new Snow Patrol album and now…kids?

"Oh my God, Lucas, don't tell me you're pregnant," Peyton joked.

"Funny," Lucas laughed, "I was just wondering. But if it makes you uncomfortable-"

"Yes I want kids," Peyton said finally, cutting him off. She heard Lucas take a deep breath.

"I do too."

"Well thank God for that. Otherwise I would have to jump you in your sleep to get them."

"You think about having my kids?"

Peyton pulled the phone away to stare at it. What the hell was going on with her boyfriend, "Seriously, Lucas, what's wrong with you?"

"I've just been thinking about our future. About our kids."

"That's sweet," Peyton smiled, "So, what do you see us having?"

"A girl."

"Just one."

"No but she comes first. And then usually a couple of boys."

"Yeah?"

"And she's just like you. Curly blonde hair and bright green eyes. And she's a smart ass."

"I like the sound of her already," Peyton sighed. "Does she have a name?"

"No. Not yet."

"I always wanted to name my kid Sam," Peyton blurted out, her cheeks burning red in embarrassment. She'd never told anyone that before, not even Brooke.

"Sam?"

"Yeah," Peyton whispered.

"I think that's a beautiful name."

"Sam Elizabeth Scott," Peyton said, trying the name out aloud, like she had so many times in her head.

"One child down, four more names to go."

"Four?" Peyton squeaked, "Oh the agony…"

"It'll be worth it," Lucas chuckled.

"Sam Elizabeth," Lucas whispered, "I can still see her."

"Me too," Peyton sniffled, wiping the tears out of her eyes, and trying to smile.

"I'm tired, Peyton," he sighed, snuggling closer to his pillow.

"Go to sleep, Luke."

"I don't want to close my eyes. You won't be here when I wake up."

"You'll always remember it though," she promised, "Like you said, it'll always be there."

"I love you," he mumbled before his eyes fluttered close.

She waited until she was sure he was asleep before she tiptoed out of the room. She studies his features carefully, committing them to memory like she had so many times before. On her way out, she had the nurse station page the doctor to check on him.

She found Lindsey in the lobby with Haley. Both the women's heads turned to look at her, Haley in awe, Lindsey with concern.

"Peyton? What happened?"

"He woke up," Peyton smiled as much as she could, "But then he fell back to sleep. I had the nurses check on him, okay?"

"Oh my God," Lindsey cried, throwing her arms around Peyton who reluctantly returned the gesture, "I'm so glad he's all right."

"Me too."

Lindsey pulled away suddenly. "Did he say anything when he woke up?"

Peyton opened her mouth but no words could come out. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Well he was a little confused as to why I was there, but then he wanted to know where you were. I told him I'd send you up."

"Oh God, I should get up there, huh?" Lindsey said, "Thank you so much for sitting with him. Haley, I'll give you a minute with Peyton. You know the room number right?"

"Uh yeah," Haley nodded.

And without another word, Lindsey ran back inside leaving Haley and Peyton alone.

"So," Haley said, awkwardly shuffling her feet.

"Yeah," Peyton said, scratching her head.

"What are you doing here?" Haley blurted out, then sighed, "Sorry."

"No," Peyton laughed, "It's okay. Umm, Jake was on TRL yesterday-"

"I saw that."

"Yeah well while we were in New York he wanted to visit the neurology ward here. There's this little girl whose mom wrote a letter to us a month ago right after the record came out. Jake's been trying to arrange a visit. But it's just been so crazy. Anyways, today we just happened to be here, and I ran into Lindsey in the cafeteria. She asked if I could sit with Lucas for a bit while she found you."

"Wow. Talk about coincidences."

"I know…"

"And the fact that he woke up while you were in the room…"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Peyton whispered, then realizing she said it out loud she sighed closing her eyes, "Forget I said that."

"I can't," Haley said slowly, "Just like I can't forget that you're probably the reason he woke up."

"Haley-"

"No. It's okay," Haley nodded, "You two connect on levels that no one, not even Nathan and I, ever could understand. There are these times…he and I will be on the phone and it will go quiet. And I'll ask him what's up and he'll mention something random like the burning boat ceremony where he stood up to Nathan or the day he came back to school after his heart attack. And I won't think anything of until that night when I talk to Brooke and she'll let it slip that you talked about the same thing that day."

"Haley-"

"You're soul mates. And I don't know if you'll ever get to be together again, but you need to know that it won't go away. You ran to Savannah and he ran to New York, but it doesn't matter how far away you two are from each other because that connection will always follow you. And that's why you need to come home to Tree Hill because living in a different city is not helping. And people in Tree Hill need you. Brooke needs you."

"Brooke?" Peyton said, furrowing her eyebrows, "What's wrong with Brooke? I just talked to her two days ago and she was fine."

"Victoria left the company."

"What?"

"She didn't want to tell you because she knew you'd want to come back to Tree Hill and she figures you need to make the decision on your own. I've tried to help her through it, but she and I aren't on the best terms right now. Plus…you're her P. Sawyer."

"I can't believe she didn't tell me," Peyton sighed, closing her eyes.

"She thought it was best."

"For me, maybe, but not for her. She's sacrificed everything for me," Peyton whispered, "It's about time I return the favor."

There was an awkward silence that followed, one that had plagued Peyton and Haley's conversations ever since Lucas and Peyton had gone their separate ways.

"I should go," Haley said, "I've only got a little time with him before I need to fly back."

"Right."

"Hopefully, I'll see you back in Tree Hill, then?" Haley asked as she backed her way into the closest elevator.

"Yeah," Peyton nodded watching her friend go. What a strange day indeed.

When she got back to the hotel, Peyton found it hard to explain what kind of day she had just had. It didn't help that Jake was overly excited about how his meeting with this young girl had went. Peyton just smiled as he explained the whole interaction to her. She figured her news could wait. When Jake finally did stop, it was only to take a shower, and Peyton took that time to reflect on her day while packing.

It would have been easy to say she learned something from the experience, but she hadn't. She still loved Lucas. Lucas still loved her. Everyone around them knew it. It wasn't anything newsworthy and nothing she hadn't known before.

But from that knowledge, she learned she couldn't fight it, but she could learn to live with it, and that's what made going back to Tree Hill, plausible.

And part of her was starting to get the idea that fate would always keep the two of them connected in strange ways.

"Hey Jake," Peyton sighed as she closed her suitcase, "What was the name of that little girl who wanted to meet you?"

Peyton heard the water from the shower taper off, and Jake yell back, "Huh?"

"The little girl from the hospital. What was her name?"

"Oh," Jake said as he came out of the bathroom, towel tied around his waist, "Sam."

"What?" Peyton said, her eyes snap up to meet his.

"Her name was Sam."

Yeah, destiny definitely had a strange sense of humor.