Chapter Four: How about a nap?
Disclaimer: I do not own KOTOR.
Note: Is it just me, or does anyone else get the feeling that the Exile is really the only one on the Ebon Hawk who likes Atton?
Other Note: Sorry this chapter took awhile, but I've never really been the biggest fan of the Ravager, so…
The Exile, Atton, and Visas were about to make their way to the Ravager when Mandalore and two Mandalorians suddenly appeared in front of her.
"Ah! Ghost!" yelped the Exile. Everyone stared at her. "They just turned off their stealth generators again, didn't they?"
Atton nodded. "Why do you guys have to keep doing that, anyway? You know she'll never get used to the idea and it's getting kind of embarrassing."
Mandalore shrugged. "Sorry, but we are Mandalorians; you've got to expect a certain degree of sadism."
"Is there any point in asking how you got here so quickly?" Atton asked.
"No, not really," Mandalore answered.
"But I assure you that we weren't stalking you," one of the other Mandalorians blurted out.
"Well, as long as you weren't doing that," the Exile said cheerfully.
"Exile!" Atton protested, aghast.
"Hm?" she looked over at him.
"I—Nothing. Let's just get going," Atton said, resigned.
"We're coming with you," Mandalore declared dramatically.
"B-but you can't!" the Exile protested, wide-eyed.
"And why not?" Mandalore demanded, annoyed at the Exile for ruining yet another one of his dramatic declarations.
"Because," the Exile huffed. "I'm not allowed to have more than two people in my party and there are three of you."
"But we're the only chance you have at blowing up the Ravager!"
"Well, I do like explosions," the Exile said, considering. "But, no, I'm sorry. Rules are rules."
Thinking quickly, Mandalore said, "Well, these two were never in your party, so they probably won't count, then it'll just be me and you can still bring either the creepy Sith girl or the drunk."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Atton wondered aloud. "I swear, I haven't touched a drop since Nar Shaddaa!"
"I must be there when you confront my Master," Visas said quietly, effectively ignoring Atton.
"Uh, that's great and all, but I'm not entirely sure that I want you there, since you can't seem to wrap your mind around the fact that he's not your master anymore, he could very well order you to kill me, and T3 told me how Mandalore has a history of literally not caring if his comrades live or die," the Exile told her.
Meanwhile, the two Mandalorians accompanying Canderous were looking at him with something akin to fear. Normally, that would be a good thing, but that was so not the time.
"Oh, give me a break, it was only Jagi," he snapped.
"Oh, that's alright then," one of the Mandalorians said, clearly relieved, and the other nodded his agreement.
"I must be with you when you when you confront my Master," Visas said again. That was Visas's usual strategy in an argument with the Exile: repeat a phrase or string of phrases constantly until the Exile caved.
"Why?" Atton quickly asked, lest Visas have the opportunity to repeat the statement yet again. The Exile could never resist anything when it was said three times. Try as he might, though, he could never get the full story out of her, only that, as with everything else in the galaxy these days, it could be traced back to Revan.
"Only I can understand him," Visas told him smugly.
"Look, we don't need to understand the guy, we don't have time to redeem him, we just need to kill him," Atton said, preparing himself for an argument about how 'everyone deserved the chance to redeem themselves.' And they did, of course, it's just that Atton often felt that people shouldn't have to be talked into returning to the light and should put forth some effort themselves, like he did.
But Visas shook her head. "You misunderstand; I am the only one who has any idea what of what he says."
"Bad accent, huh?" the Exile asked sympathetically, having came across quite a few cases of that during her exile.
"…Yes," Visas finally said.
"Well, I wouldn't want communications difficulties to get in the way of our fight," the Exile said, thoughtfully.
"We don't need to talk to them, we just need to kill them," Mandalore pointed out.
"That is not the Jedi way," the Exile said prissily.
"Didn't you say something about how if no one was going to treat you like a Jedi then you weren't obligated to act like one?" Mandalore asked.
"Well, yes, I did," admitted the Exile. "But that was when taking that position would support my actions. Now, taking the other opposite position is much more advantageous." She turned to Atton. "Sorry, guess you'll just have to stay here."
"Like hell," Atton said frankly.
"Sorry, Atton," the Exile said apologetically. "But you know how it is. Only two at a time."
"But how do you possibly expect me to get back to the Ebon Hawk all by myself?" Atton asked reasonably. "With Sith crawling all over the place?"
"Nonsense, we killed most of them," the Exile told him.
"And yet every time you come back through an area you've already cleared, you find out that they've instantly summoned reinforcements," Atton pointed out.
"Character building?" Mandalore suggested, smirking.
Atton sent him a withering glare and then turned back to the Exile. "And there is no way that I'm leaving you alone with two people who want to kill you," he said flatly.
"You don't have any choice, it's the rules," Visas taunted.
"Screw the rules, I have lightsabers!"
"You know, I'm fairly certain I've heard that before…" Mandalore said. "Can't remember where, though. Do you know where, Exile? Exile?"
The Exile didn't answer him, being rather occupied with standing transfixed with a horrified look on her face. "You have lightsabers? As in, more than one?"
"Um, yes?" Atton asked, hoping she wasn't going where he thought she was going.
No such luck.
"Eeew! And to think that I was considering sleeping with you?"
"You were?" Mandalore asked, horrified.
"You were?" Visas asked, horrified.
"You were?" Atton asked, thrilled.
"Yes," the Exile confirmed, irritably. "Wasn't it obvious?"
"No, not really."
"Not at all."
"Most of the romance got cut," Atton explained.
"Oh, well, I was." The Exile paused. "But not anymore. I mean, I'm open-minded, but I'm not that open-minded."
"But I don't-" Atton began.
"But you said you did," Mandalore pointed out, clearly enjoying this.
"That is true," the Exile nodded. "You could always get surgery, though."
Atton turned purple. "Surgery?" he managed to ask.
"Yeah," the Exile nodded. "I heard the scars are barely noticeable nowadays. Do something about that, and then we'll talk."
Atton mentally debated the merits of simply explaining that he had meant literal lightsabers and not any sort of sexual innuendo, but then nixed the idea, realizing that explaining anything of the sort to her would never be simple. Still, though, no reason not to make use of the misunderstanding while he was at it.
"Alright," he agreed. "But only if you let me go."
"The Exile looked imploringly at Mandalore and Visas.
Visas sighed. "Exile, you know we can't-"
"But my boyfriend can't be a freak!" the Exile whined.
"Isn't that Disciple kid interested in you?" Mandalore inquired.
The Exile looked at him for a second. "But my boyfriend can't be a freak!"
"Oh, alright," Mandalore grumbled.
"Yes, might as well bring someone to distract the Exile from my diabolical plottings." Everyone stared at her. "I mean, I think Atton's drunk," Visas quickly amended.
"Atton!" the Exile yelled.
- -
"Hey, look, we're right outside my room! Would you guys mind if I went and took a nap? I didn't really get much sleep on the ride to Citadel Station, what with Atris's constant death threats if you wouldn't let her out," Visas explained.
"Even though we're kind of in a hurry and only have so much time before the Ravager destroys Citadel Station, which will doom all future restoration projects and your master will suck the life out of everyone in this sector of the galaxy? Except me, of course," the Exile added as an afterthought. "Seeing as how I seemed to be immune from such things as logic."
"Will of the Force?" Visas suggested.
The Exile shrugged. "Ah, what the hell. On one condition, though."
Visas tensed, and with good reason. The Exile's 'conditions' were usually incredibly arbitrary and somewhat embarrassing.
"What in the name of the Force is you master's name?"
Visas relaxed. "Nihilus."
With that, she headed off for her nap and the Exile, Atton, and Mandalore sat outside her chambers, waiting for her.
- -
"So-" the Exile began.
"No," Mandalore said shortly.
"But-"
"No."
"Why not?" she whined.
"Because the entire Mandalorian chain of command and, in fact, whole civilization depend upon people not questioning orders!" Mandalore told her, exasperated. They had been having this conversation on and off for the past two hours.
"I'm just saying, you can't order someone not to kill themselves," the Exile tried to explain.
"Of course I can, I'm Mandalore."
"No, you CAN'T," she insisted.
"I don't see why not," Mandalore said a bit childishly, crossing his arms.
"Because if they disobey you, there's really nothing you can do to punish them, so they have no reason to listen to you on that subject. Because it doesn't make sense!" the Exile shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Since when has that ever bothered you?" Mandalore asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about," the Exile said virtuously.
Mandalore snorted and Atton coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "Kreia."
The Exile dutifully ignored them.
Just then, Visas emerged from her room.
"What are you all sitting around for?" she asked, annoyed. "The Ravager is won't destroy itself, you know."
"Hey, you're the one who wanted a nap, sister," Atton pointed out.
"And now I'm ready to go and you're not," Visas countered.
Grumbling, they got to their feet and started walking.
"How are we supposed to destroy the Ravager if one of the charges detonated too early?" Atton asked.
"I don't know," the Exile shrugged. "Maybe we can just wander aimlessly and hope we happen to stumble upon one?"
"That's ridiculous," Mandalore scoffed.
"Oh yeah?" the Exile raised an eyebrow. "Well so is needing to have four different charges in four different spots to destroy one lousy ship."
"I suppose you had a better idea?" Mandalore asked.
The Exile nodded. "I did, actually. I suggested using the ship's self-destruct sequence."
"What would a ship have a self-destruct sequence?" Mandalore asked, confused.
"Beats me, but they do. They all do," the Exile assured him.
"HOW did we lose to you people again?" Mandalore asked.
"Revan is some kind of god," Atton explained.
"Ah, that's right."
Suddenly, the Exile froze.
"What is it?" Atton asked, concerned.
"I sense…"
"Yes?" he asked eagerly.
"A whiny minor character in need of redemption," the Exile finished.
Everyone groaned.
"We don't have time for this," Visas said.
"We had time for your nap," the Exile countered.
"And that's why we don't have time for this," Visas said triumphantly.
"Whatever, you guys go look for your bomb thingy and I will be off hoarding LS points," the Exile said, heading off in the direction of the minor character.
As Visas and Mandalore headed down a different hallway, Atton looked conflicted. On the one hand, he didn't trust Visas or Mandalore. On the other, it was generally a very bad idea to let the Exile go anywhere by herself. Eventually, his inexplicable crush on the Exile won out over his paranoia and he quickly caught up with her.
"Hello, I'm the Exile and I'm here to redeem you," she was saying brightly to a rather zombie-like Colonel Tobin.
"I know who you are, I'm not an idiot. Unlike some people." A very annoyed zombie-like Colonel Tobin.
"I didn't say you were," the Exile said patronizingly. "It's just that I'm a Jedi." Tobin stared at her. "Well, kind of, anyway. Enough of a Jedi that I'm not vain enough to assume that the entire galaxy knows who I am."
"Even though they all basically do," Atton added helpfully.
"Right," the Exile nodded.
"I get that, I really do," Tobin said, taking a deep, calming breath. "It's just that I've MET YOU BEFORE!" So much for that.
"You have?" the Exile said, trying to place him.
Knowing that if left to her own devices they'd be there until they all exploded, Atton quickly interceded. "Colonel Tobin, I see you survived that civil war. On second thought, I see your corpse has decided to go work for the Sith."
Tobin glared at him. "Very funny."
"Tobin, Tobin…" the Exile murmured, tapping her chin. "Nope, still doesn't ring a bell."
"He shot us down en route to Onderon and so we had to go that nature walk on Dxun, remember?" Atton prompted.
The Exile gasped. "Yes! Yes I do remember! That was you?"
"Yes, yes that was," Tobin affirmed, clearly pleased to have been placed so quickly. These things often took a while with her.
"I RUINED THREE PAIRS OF SHOES THERE!" the Exile yelled.
"Well, I would apologize, but seeing as how I was trying to kill you at the time, I doubt it would mean much."
"Grrr…" the Exile growled, looking murderously at him.
"Um, Exile?" Atton spoke up. "Not for I don't think he deserves it, but don't you think that that's just a Dark Side point waiting to happen?"
The Exile calmed down immediately. "You're right." She turned to Tobin. "Working for Nihilus is a really bad idea. He's a very bad guy who doesn't care if you live or die."
Tobin snorted. "You think General Vaklu did?"
"Hm, good point," she conceded. "But! He also doesn't care if ONDERON lives or dies."
Immediately, Tobin's eyes widened. "He…doesn't?" he whispered brokenly.
"Nope," the Exile said cheerfully.
"Hate to break it to you, but your new Master is out to destroy all live everywhere. And Onderon is part of that," Atton told him.
"My whole life is a lie!" wailed Tobin.
The Exile rolled her eyes. "You don't need to be so melodramatic. And it's only been a few weeks."
"How can I ever repent?" Tobin continued to cry.
"Um…I've got nothing," the Exile admitted.
"Well, whatever you want to do, let's hurry up and do it so we can get back to that Sith girl and Mandalore," Atton told her.
"Mandalore, that's it!" the Exile exclaimed. "That's what we'll do!"
"I don't follow," Tobin told her.
"You can go and help the Mandalorians set the charges to blow this ship up," the Exile explained.
"And then Onderon will be safe and free to prosper forever and ever?" Tobin asked hopefully.
"Um, sure," Atton said.
"Great!" Tobin cried, running off.
"Does he even know where they are?" the Exile asked.
"No," Atton answered. "But that's probably for the best. After all, he looks like a Sith, so they'd probably shoot him on sight."
The Exile suddenly looked worried. "You don't think that will affect my Light Side points, do you?"
Atton sighed. Sometimes, it seemed the only reason the Exile ever did anything was to get Light Side points and avoid Dark Side points. "No, I'm sure you'll be fine."
"Good," she said, visibly relieved. "Let's go find the others."
-
"Well, this is it," the Exile said.
"Yep," Atton agreed.
"My Master awaits," Visas added.
"Will you guys just come on already?" Mandalore demanded. "We've been standing out here for half an hour. I can literally FEEL my men considering challenging me already! Any longer and I'll have a bloody mutiny on my hands."
"Oh all right…" the Exile said reluctantly and slowly pushed open the door to the bridge. She wasn't quite sure what she expected, but she knew that she expected something. Instead, she saw that no one in there seemed to realize they were there, not even Nihilus, who was standing all the way on the other side of the room.
She walked over to one of the men stationed at the consoles. "Hi, I'm the Exile, why aren't you trying to kill me?" she asked.
No answer.
"Poke…" she poked him. He fell over. "Guys," she called to her friends, who hadn't moved from the doorway. "I think he's dead."
Atton came over and took his pulse. "Nope, he's still breathing."
"Is he a zombie like Tobin was?" the Exile asked.
"Further along, but yes, I think he is."
"What are you two doing over there?" Mandalore asked, coming over as well.
"Making sure this guy's dead," explained the Exile.
"Oh, that's easy," Mandalore said before taking out his repeating blaster and shooting him in the head. "If he wasn't before, he is now."
"Isn't there a joke about that somewhere?" Atton asked.
"Beats me," Mandalore shrugged.
Meanwhile, Visas was throwing herself at Nihilus. "Master!"
Atton groaned. "You know, he didn't even realize we were here! That would have been a great time to just start shooting at him…"
Nihilus turned around to face the group. He didn't waste any time on chitchat, unlike all their other opponents, and simply started trying to eat their life-force.
"I feel like I'm dying," Mandalore complained.
"I feel like I'm home," Visas sighed.
"I feel like I'm hung-over," Atton groaned.
"I feel a little dizzy," the Exile said. "And I must say, Mandalore, that I can't believe that the leader of the Mandalorians thinks THIS feels like dying. Guess you Mandalorians really went to hell after we kicked your guys' asses. And Atton, let me just say right now that if this is what a hangover feels like to you, then I totally hate you."
"…I think, maybe you're being affected by it less that we are," Atton suggested.
The Exile blinked. "Really? Weird."
"Aren't you going to tell him that I had no part in this?" Visas asked.
"But…you DID. You lead us straight to him," the Exile countered, confused.
"I know that, but you're not supposed to tell HIM," Visas said irritably.
"Sorry, I always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth," the Exile declared.
"We noticed," her three followers muttered.
Sure enough, Nihilus fell to his knees and stopped sucking everyone's energy.
"Oh! This must be why Kreia let Atris bring Nihilus here! So he could try and feed on me but fail and it would weaken him and we wouldn't have to go chasing after him ourselves! Isn't she great?" the Exile gushed.
The Exile's companions did not deign to respond, but Nihilus did. Unfortunately, he sounded rather like a Kinrath and so no one could make out what he was saying.
"Visas?" the Exile prompted. "Translation?"
Visas shrugged. "Force, I don't know what he's saying."
"But you said you were the only one to understand him," Mandalore pointed out.
"I didn't say I could understand him well. All I do know that he's cursing Kreia and about to try and kill us again."
"Well, if he's going to attack first…" the Exile trailed off as the battle began again. It was far easier than she'd expected. He was clearly out of practice with a lightsaber and kept pausing in his attacks to try and drain some of their life-force. He really might not have even bothered with her as it had very little effect.
Suddenly, right when Nihilus seemed to be losing ground, Visas fell to her knees and gasped out, "It's impossible! He's too strong!"
"What's impossible?" the Exile asked, puzzled. "Defeating him in under five minutes? Yeah, he is a bit strong for that, but we should be able to do it in under ten."
"No, I mean, he is too powerful and we cannot win!" Visas clarified.
"Visas, if you're trying to use Battle Meditation to save your lover over here, it would probably help if you stopped talking and went over to, you know, meditate a little," the Exile suggested.
"I don't want him to win; I just know that he will!" Visas insisted.
"Are you feeling okay?" the Exile asked her, concerned.
"Well, except for the sense of impending doom, yes," Visas nodded.
"I think you're delusional. We're totally kicking his ass," the Exile said bluntly.
"No, we're all about to die!" Visas cried.
"Well, I tried. You guys have anything?" the Exile asked, looking to Atton and Mandalore.
"I suggest we ignore her and just keep killing this guy," Mandalore piped up.
The Exile rolled her eyes. "Okay, let me rephrase that. Do you guys have anything helpful?"
"I might," Atton allowed. "Visas, you and your Master are…linked…right?" Visas nodded. "Could you try and, um, disrupt that link?"
Visas considered for a moment and then nodded. "I can try."
With that, Atton, Mandalore, and the Exile went back to killing Nihilus.
Twenty seconds later, Visas cried out again. "I can't hold him much longer!"
"Did you even try?" Mandalore asked her.
"Yes! I tried very hard," Visas said offended.
To forestall yet another argument, the Exile quickly jammed her lightsaber into Nihilus's…heart-ish area. He fell backwards, spouted something incoherent and died.
"Did you catch that?" Atton asked.
"Yes, he said, 'And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you kids and your meddling…'" Visas translated. "And then he died."
"That is just SO depressing," the Exile sighed.
"What, the clichéd last words?" Atton asked.
"No, the fact he didn't even get to finish them," she responded.
"Well, to be fair we don't exactly have a dog," Mandalore pointed out.
"True, I guess…Now we've wasted enough time, let's get out of here before this whole thing blows," the Exile said, heading towards the exit.
"WAIT!" Visas cried, running towards Nihilus's body.
"Oh Force, now what?" the Exile groaned. "Couldn't you have worked out your issues with your lover earlier?"
"He's not my lover!" Visas protested. "He was my Master."
"Well of course he's not NOW. He's dead," the Exile said. "And I really don't need to hear about you guys and your experiences in the wonderful world of bondage."
"But…" Visas trailed off, speechless.
"Forget it," Atton advised.
Visas nodded wearily and made her way to Nihilus's prone body. Kneeling beside it, she removed the mask and finally, FINALLY stared into the still eyes of her tormentor.
The moment was broken by the Exile's voice. "Hey," she called. "Bring me that mask, will you? I'm sure I can get at least 5000 credits for it…"
"Is money all you ever think about?" Atton asked.
"Until you decide to help me pay G0-T0…"
Visas picked up the mask and went back to the group. She handed the mask to the Exile wordlessly.
"So…um…did you find peace or whatever?" the Exile asked lamely.
"Yes."
"What did he look like?" Atton couldn't resist asking.
"Like a man and nothing more."
"Is it just me or is that, like, the worst answer ever?" the Exile asked. "But whatever, let's go."
As they turned to leave, a red cloud materialized over the fallen Sith Lord's body and zapped him with red lightning, completing destroying him without leaving a single trace.
The Exile just stared at the spot. "What the hell was that?"
To Be Continued…
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