Lupin Cottage…

Sirius's slim body was pressed back against his, water pounding down against them. The tiles were cold under his hands, and Remus breathed deeply as he felt hot breath against the wet skin of his neck. His hand fisted tightly, nails digging painfully into his palm as their thrusts got deeper, and Sirius's moans got bolder, louder, echoing off the tiles in the bathroom, sending shivers down Remus's spine.

Hot breath in his ears. 'Remus…'

Remus jerked awake, his legs trapped in a tangle of sheets and his heart beating at a furious pace. He was drenched in a heavy film of sweat and as the sunlight hit his face through the crack of the curtains, he realised he was also achingly hard beneath his pajama bottoms.

Remus closed his eyes and ran a shaking hand over his face. These dreams seemed to be getting clearer and bolder with every passing day, and he couldn't seem to do anything to stop them. Ever since their kiss back in Hogwarts, Remus woke up almost every single morning almost shaking at the intensity of each dream. Part of him didn't want them to stop but this wasn't about his wants. This was about being loyal to Sirius and to himself.

He got up painfully and walked towards the bathroom, ignoring his need to brush his teeth first and directly stepping into the shower. If he thought this was going to be any sort of consolation, he was sadly mistaken. The dream came back stronger than ever, and he could almost see Sirius's naked, writhing body in front of him.

Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold tiles. 'Oh God. No. No. No.'

'Remus…'

Remus turned the tap to freezing cold. What was wrong with him? Only a few months ago, Sirius was like a brother to him and all of a sudden, they were kissing, leaving Remus with a mad urge to do it again.

Black hair sticking to the sharp contours of his face…

'Someone, please kill me,' whispered Remus to no one.

A hot wet tounge running over the base of his neck…

He shivered and got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. He walked to the sink. The cabinet was open as usual, and he picked up his brush and toothpaste before making the mistake of closing the cabinet door. His reflection was staring back at him with more disdain than usual, jeering and mocking.

'You're not queer,' he told his mirror image firmly before swinging open the cabinet again. 'Sirius is a friend…and you? You are a werewolf.' He took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. He really didn't know whom he was trying to convince. 'And there are complications,' continued Remus softly. 'Even if you were attracted to him, which you are not…you can't have him. Not now, not ever.'

He nodded and started brushing, thinking things were going to look up now that he'd set his thoughts straight. He'd even come to the point where he'd managed to get his teeth clean and switched on the tap to rinse off all the paste, when a stream of hot water shot out into his hands.

'Argh!' His grip immediately loosened and his toothbrush fell - right into the toilet. 'Oh, fuck!'

This was obviously not going to be Remus's day.

He couldn't be bothered to retrieve his toothbrush and decided to just get dressed. His stomach growled relentlessly as he trudged down the stairs with his head still halfway through his shirt. All he needed was a large bowl of cereal, and Sirius or not, things would definitely get better. He'd almost made it to the kitchen door when the doorbell rang.

'Remus, baby, can you get that?' His mother's voice rang out from the kitchen.

Remus leaned his head against the door and groaned, or maybe that was his stomach.

The bell rang again. 'Remus!'

'I'm coming, I'm coming,' he muttered to no one in particular, as he dragged his feet to the door. 'Bloody- who the hell visits at this time of the day, anyway?' He swung open the door to see the least expected person in the world at his doorstep: Alastor Moody, who was failing miserably to hold up a very disgruntled John Lupin while trying to keep his errant grizzly hair out of his face.

'Don't just stand there, boy,' he growled out, shifting his weight to the other leg. 'Help me. Your father's no daisy.'

Remus shut his gaping mouth and immediately reached out for his father's free arm, letting it rest on his shoulder for support. He thanked his werewolf strength, as he felt his father's weight upon him. Moody was right. John Lupin must have weighed a good few stones.

'What happened?' asked Remus, trying to pace himself with Moody so that they didn't trip.

'Nothing happened,' snarled John. 'I keep telling Moody I'm fine, but-'

'Got a nasty shot in the leg during the patrol,' interrupted Moody. 'I would have healed it myself, but he'd have probably ended up with a transfigured duck for a leg if you catch my drift.' He grunted as he adjusted his shoulders. 'Can't walk two steps to save his life, and I couldn't trust him with his wand in this state. So I brought him home.'

'I'm fine,' said John through gritted teeth. 'Let me go, Remus.'

Remus ignored him and helped him into a nearby couch, lifting his feet up. 'Mum, can you get the first aid, please!'

John sat up on the couch, wincing at the pain in his leg. 'Don't be ridiculous, Remus, just heal it with your wand.'

Remus pushed him back down. 'I'm not allowed to use magic outside school, dad. Mum!'

Delilah Lupin burst through the kitchen door, peeved. 'What is it, Rem-Oh!' Her eyes fell on Moody. 'Hello, Alastor, what brings you here?'

Moody chuckled. 'I brought your husband back,' he said pointing towards the slumped figure on the couch.

John Lupin rolled his eyes. 'Can someone just bring the first aid kit before I decide to chop my leg off!'

'There's no need to shout, John,' huffed Del. She pushed open the kitchen door, pausing to look at Moody. 'Tea, Alastor?'

'If it's not too much trouble.'

'Pain!' growled John, looking pointedly at his wife till she'd disappeared behind the doors.

Moody grinned, his face distorting horribly. 'You're losing your touch in your old age, Lupin.'

John sat up again, shooing off Remus's hands which had started to roll up his trouser leg. 'I was outnumbered, and you know it. Five against one and that one shot me while my back was turned. Filthy, little-'

'Watch your language around Remus, John,' said Del, entering the room with a tray filled with tea, biscuits, and a first aid kit. She didn't notice the three different eye rolls or the hungry glances her son was sending towards the food. She passed over the tea to Moody while she sat herself on the couch. 'That's a nasty cut, John. How did you get it?'

'Death eaters,' muttered Moody, as he sniffed his tea and took a sip. 'Wreaking havoc in muggle pubs…think they can get away with it easily.'

'They would have too,' said John, wincing as Del cleansed the wound with antiseptic. 'If it wasn't for Dumbledore. He'd predicted from the start that something like this would happen, but the Ministry can never bother to listen. Did you see them today? They were trying to cover up the whole ordeal like it never happened. People have a right to know what's going on. They should at least get a chance to defend themselves.'

Moody grunted. 'Knowing them, they're not going to take any chances until those Death Eaters have us hanging by our ankles. It's just muggles now, but soon, it'll be the muggleborns, and then the halfbloods…'

Remus looked away from the biscuits, shifting his gaze to his father instead. He knew John Lupin was worrying over the same thing he was. Would the Death Eaters come here? Would they attack the Lupin cottage? Remus didn't want to think what would happen if they decided to attack his mother. 'Who are these people, dad?' he asked instead.

John scowled disdainfully. 'Call themselves Death Eaters, supposedly here to purify the Wizarding world. Voldemort's minions; always knew that man was no good, genius or not.'

Remus felt a sudden chill down his spine upon hearing Voldemort's name.

Remus, Remus Lupin…

'These people…they're purebloods then?' he asked shakily.

Moody chewed on a biscuit. 'What else can they be? Either that or they're in denial. For all their talk about pureblood supremacy, they run around wearing hoods and masks. Don't even have enough pride to show their face when they fight.'

Don't be afraid of the power you hold within, Remus. Embrace it, manipulate it, and watch as the world bows down to you…

The conversation continued but to Remus, their words were distant, a faded sort of sound and all he could hear was the frantic beating of his heart. Remus had realised right then what Voldemort wanted and it had nothing to do with the purity of the Wizarding world. These Death Eaters: they were just a tool; a means of getting to his goal. All Voldemort wanted was fear, complete control, and infinite power. And the worst thing was that, he was very much capable of achieving it.

'I'd better be going,' said Moody, finally getting up from the couch and breaking Remus out of his thoughts. 'Thank you for the tea, Delilah.' He chuckled as Remus's stomach gave a large growl, causing the boy to go red in the face. 'And feed that boy of yours, won't you. God knows, he needs it.'

XxxxX

It was finally official. By the end of June, Sirius Black had come to the conclusion that he'd gone mad. Completely, off his rockers, prune-y old man, insane. He didn't even know when this madness had started but in Grimmauld place, alone and agitated, it seemed to be getting worse and worse. It rendered him utterly and completely useless.

Like right now, his parents were debating over what seemed a very heated topic, judging by their and Regulus's expression. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to listen or even give a damn about what they were saying. This was unusual by itself, since Sirius usually kept his ears open (in hopes of hearing about Andromeda or Uncle Alphard) during these discussions, which more often than not, concluded with him becoming quite an active participant in his mother's screaming matches. He was the one who instigated them after all.

But today, he was sitting with a perfectly good lunch in front of him and all he could do was fiddle with it. He was unconsciously watching his mother's mouth move but no sound seemed to be coming out of it. The food in her mouth, however, was a completely different story. To think, Sirius still got rapped on the knuckles every time he tried to pull something like that. He shifted his gaze to his father, who seemed to be nodding a lot, but otherwise looking disinterested. Sirius figured the conversation was still about that ridiculous clique Lucius had joined. He couldn't quite remember the name; just that it involved walking around in horrendously distasteful Halloween costumes.

But these weren't the only symptoms Sirius was suffering from. No, these were mild, compared to…whatever you called it. This thing was beyond cure; beyond madness; it followed Sirius everywhere he went – in the bathroom, his room, the library. He couldn't get away from it - it was haunting him. Which was exactly why Sirius was only mildly surprised when he came face to face with Remus Lupin, a good five feet shorter than when Sirius last saw him and wearing a pillowcase with the Black family crest on it. No, not again.

'Would young Master like anything else?' asked Remus in a squeaky annoying voice that sounded oddly familiar.

Sirius stared. 'W-What?'

Remus seemed to be trying hard to not roll his eyes. 'Is Master done eating or would he like a second helping?'

Sirius blinked several times, and Remus's face instantly dissolved to be replaced by Kreature's ugly one. He recoiled slightly and looked at his plate. To his horror, he saw that he'd actually rearranged his vegetables to spell Remus's name. He quickly rubbed it away with his fork and handed the plate over to the impatient house elf.

Sirius sighed heavily. This seemed to be happening a lot lately. Everywhere he looked, he saw Remus. Only yesterday, he found himself staring into his bathroom mirror, only to find Remus right beside him, smiling serenely. But when Sirius had reached out behind him, there was nothing but air. Later, when he had tried to trip Regulus down the stairs, he had seen Remus's face attached to the back of his brother's head and stopped. Needless to say, he had been heavily disturbed.

These feelings, whatever they were, seemed to be directly connected to Remus. The best solution seemed to be denial. Forget you have a friend called Remus. You know no one called Remus Lupin. There is no sweet, mischievous boy in Hogwarts with the name Remus Lupin. Sirius sighed again. It was no use. He couldn't just stop thinking about his friend, despite his firm resolution not to. Well, at least he wasn't thinking about the kiss, and how Remus's lips had felt so soft, and his skin so warm, and…

Sirius resisted the urge to bang his head against the table.

He was so occupied in thoughts of self harm that he'd hardly noticed his mother turning to speak to him. Regulus elbowed him roughly in the ribs, and Sirius startled. He looked at his mother who was staring back at him expectantly. 'I'm sorry, mother. I didn't quite catch that.'

Mrs. Black rolled her eyes at her son's impotence. 'I suggested that you join Voldemort after you graduate.'

Had Sirius been in his right mind, he would have casually ignored her but unfortunately for him, he wasn't. His was confused and agitated, and absolutely fed up with this Voldemort and his parents' conservative thinking. So, his answer had automatically shot out before he could stop himself. 'NO!'

His mother looked at him, her face reddening slightly. 'Someone has finally taken the initiative to purify the Wizarding world, Sirius and it would only be an honour to take part in Voldemort's cause. Joining the Death Eaters is not an option, it is a duty.'

'You needn't worry, mother,' cut in Regulus smugly, looking at Sirius through the corner of his eyes. 'I assure you, I fully intend to join once I've finished Hogwarts. I've already talked to Severus Snape, and he shares my sentiments.'

Sirius stood up, the palm of his hands slamming down on the table. 'You'll do nothing of the sort, Regulus.'

Regulus stood up. 'I'll-'

But he was interrupted by Orion Black, who had quietly gotten up from his seat and strode towards his eldest son. He put a hand on his son's shoulder. 'Sirius, library, now.' His stern tone held no arguments.

Sirius shot a nasty look towards his mother, who glared at him with barely controlled rage. If it hadn't been for his father interfering, he was sure she'd be screeching like the hag she was by now.

Sirius followed his father into the library and casually seated himself on one of the chairs, watching as his father paced restlessly on the expensive Persian carpet.

'I don't understand what you are trying to prove, Sirius,' said Orion Black, looking up at him. 'But it must stop, do you understand me?'

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but his father held up a hand to silence him.

'You never used to be like this. I don't know where you learn these ludicrous theories from, and your mother and I are hoping that this is just a phase…'

Sirius stood up. 'It's not-'

'But if this constant rebellion from your side does not stop, then I will have no option but to shift you to Durmstrang instead. Either that, or you will be home tutored. I'm sure Harad will not mind it the least.' Orion Black's dark eyes had gone hard. 'The decision is yours to make,' he said, finally turning away to sit on a nearby chair.

There was a battle raging inside Sirius's head, but he finally elected to ignore it for the time being. Sirius knew he was right, and he knew that this pureblood mania was as ingrained in his parents as religion was in a priest. He didn't dare say a word against them. Hogwarts was his only sanctuary right now, and he wasn't about to throw it all away. Not when he had friends, and pranks, and Remus. He'd just have to keep his opinions to himself until he was old enough to get away from this God forsaken house. So, despite all his beliefs, he nodded.

He looked at his father who seemed satisfied with Sirius's reply. 'Good. You may leave.'

XxxxX

Serpent91; You're welcome. Hope you like this chapter, and keep reviewing! BlackMercifulFaerie: Unfortunately, I love the part with Voldemort. It was just so…I don't know. Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and it's really not as incoherent as you think. moonshine and mustard seed: It's amazing how sadistic fanfiction readers are. Everyone actually love the fact that Remus tried to push Sirius out of the window. Not that he would have let him go…but you know. But then again, who am I to complain? I like that part too. And as usual, your review truly made my day. jean kitsune: Actually, there's only one of us. Shaggy Dog's not exactly part of this story, despite my screen name being plural. Thanks for reviewing though, I enjoy the cheering. iHEARTxDRAC0: Maybe Sirius should have just pounced him. It would save me a lot of trouble…but t hen again, that no fun, is it? Sesshomaruhasafluffytail: Aw…don't worry. They won't be poor for very long. Well, Remus will be broke in the future, but I'm speaking in rhetoric, so it doesn't count. Lady Molko: Well, your begging worked beautifully. Lol. Thanks for reviewing. Leafyaki: no, Lily never really did forgive Remus, and though their friendship was sweet, it kind of fell in that one night. I'll explain all that in the next chapter, so you'll have to wait a bit. Rapunzelstiltskin: Thanks. I kind of like evil, but young Voldemort. He's so much more hotter when he's not bald, and actually has a nose to spare. Obsessed-with-random-theories: Cookie hits author in the head. Ow…thanks. I like the part with Voldemort too. Keep reviewing! Woodgie: well, here's the update. I don't know about large quantities. My chapters are generally long, so um…thanks! snape'smistress-in-law: Lol. Thanks. The last chapter wasn't exactly supposed to make you warm and fuzzy, but hey, if rejection, evil overlords and throwing people out of windows makes you happy…keep reading!