Delicate

.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Yay! I love reviews! Please keep them coming, they mean a lot to me, and the more reviews the more motivated I am to update quickly! If you haven't checked out my other three-parter Dasey story, Second Time's the Charm it's not too late, the third part is coming your way in a few days, so take a look! If you like my writing on this, you'll probably enjoy that story too, though it is more comedic and less angst-filled. The chapter title is a song by the Strokes. Hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter! Thanks for reading!

.

Chapter Four: Between Love & Hate

……

Things continued this way for a few weeks without anything much changing at all; Derek spent his days with Sally and his nights with me. Every day I saw him with someone else—laughing, tickling her, talking softly as he brushed the hair from her face, kissing—all when they thought I wasn't looking, but I noticed. He'd come home from a date whistling and humming to himself, unable to keep from smirking or laughing, as if there was a secret joke that the rest of us weren't privy to. I honestly hadn't ever seen him so happy because of a girl before; not even Kendra. So in a sick, twisted way I was glad for him… I was glad that someone was making him happy, even if it wasn't me. But a larger part of me was hurting though I fixed on a smile; I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

I had finally reached my breaking point one evening that Fall, after a particularly trying day. Well, that's not exactly true. It actually all started the night before.

We were in his bed, and I was completely out of breath from laughing so much. Derek had found the places where I was most ticklish early on in our newfound friendship and exploited them to the best of his ability on a nightly basis. Gasping for air, yet still grinning like crazy (Why wouldn't I grin? I'd just had Derek's hands all over me? Okay, I'm sick.) I turned to look at Derek. He was watching me, a satisfied smile stretched across his face. I thought bitterly to myself; what does he see in Sally? Can she make him smile like I can? But, of course, I already knew the answer to that question.

I couldn't help myself. I had to know. Before I had a chance to stop the words from overflowing, it was too late... "Are you falling for Sally?" I asked.

Confusion flickered across Derek's face, as simultaneously his smile disappeared. He sat up a bit in bed. "No." Relief filled me, and I tried to suppress the grin that was threatening to take over my face. "I don't believe in love," he said quickly, and looked away, almost as if he was embarrassed.

My stomach dropped. "You… don't… believe… in love?" I asked. It wasn't really a direct question; more of a perplexed statement, but Derek treated it as the former.

"To be honest, I don't think I do, Case," he sighed. "Think about it. Does anyone really stay together anymore? No, because divorce is legal and acceptable now, so why stay together if you don't want to? Love should be more permanent, don't you think? But no one stays married, no one stays together because they don't have to. So after the lust, the care, the obligation is gone, so is the relationship. If there was such a thing as love then wouldn't they stay together?" he rambled.

"I guess so," I said quietly, as I blinked. My brain was so clouded from his admission that I couldn't even think straight; let alone argue in favour of something I actually believed strongly in.

"I'm surprised," Derek replied, and to my relief laughed lightly. He reached out to place his hand over mine and grinned knowingly at me, almost as if he knew all of the things I felt for him and relished in his ability to make my heart race. "Romantic Casey McDonald. I'm sure you believe in love and destiny and all that junk, so why aren't you arguing?"

I was so tired of lying all the time, I decided to be truthful for once. Besides, this admission wouldn't expose me. I shrugged in response. "I guess I'm just tired of arguing with you, that's all," I replied sincerely.

If that at all bothered him he didn't let it show as he smirked his reply smugly; "Doesn't seem that way when you get on my case and pick fights with me."

"I only do it because it's important to you," I said genuinely, wanting to share a real heart-to-heart moment with him, but anticipating his response.

It was just as I expected. "And you're awesome for that, Case," he said with a grin as he began tickling me, laughter bubbling out of me uncontrollably, although the last thing I felt like doing was laugh.

……………………………………

Everything in life has a purpose. I truly, honestly believe that. Everything that happens to you is for a reason; whether to give you something, take something from you, or teach you something. Life is always giving you little lessons; especially teaching you that you can't really control what happens, and sometimes you have to go with the flow. Being a controlling person, that's a little hard to accept sometimes, but I've been getting better at it. It's become a little easier after dealing with Derek.

Now, the night that I discovered that Derek didn't believe in love had a very specific purpose. It was going to set off a chain-reaction, with a result I absolutely did not expect. But like I said, everything happens for a reason.

The next day, the utterly craptastic day, I felt like nothing was going my way. I'd overslept after tossing and turning in Derek's bed most of the night, unable to turn off my brain. I couldn't eat breakfast so my stomach grumbled until lunch time, and even then I found out I'd forgotten my lunch. After only eating an apple, a thankful gift from Emily, I had a test in Chemistry to write.

I knew my stuff. I know I did. Granted, I hadn't been studying as hard as I usually did, because I was distracted by my own personal demons, but I had studied. Probably harder than most of the kids in that class. Unfortunately, I was just too distracted to do a half-decent job.

The entire time my mind was focused on Derek. I couldn't believe that he didn't believe in love. And what, I asked myself, did that mean for me? What did that mean for us? I had to believe that if Derek and I ever got involved that it was such a precarious situation that it would have to be more than just a silly fling, for us to risk it. It would have to be love. And if Derek didn't believe in it, then well… I thought my chances were slim to none before, but now it was all utterly hopeless.

Before I knew it the teacher cleared his throat, asking us to pass our tests to the person behind us, so that we could grade each other. I was aware that I was doomed from the moment I blushingly passed my exam to the tall freckled basketball player who sat behind me, but it didn't hit me until I'd gotten the exam back and saw the big red zero. I had failed. Not only had I failed, but I'd done worse than I'd ever thought possible.

Unable to hold it in much longer, I stuffed my books in my bag, and handed the test to my teacher who was collecting them all. I bolted from the room, and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half crying in the Ladies' Room.

When I finally arrived home, I caught Derek and Sally making out on the couch. Yeah, that was a nice surprise. Especially after the day I had.

Tearfully I said, "Sorry," and ran into the kitchen so that I could collect myself by grabbing some water. What I didn't anticipate was that Derek followed me.

"I'm going to talk to her. Meet me in my room okay?" he said to Sally.

"Sure," her voice responded, and she headed up the stairs while Derek made his way into the kitchen. After me.

"What's wrong, Space Case?" he asked casually.

"Nothing. Go away," I replied, my back to him.

"Casey… I know something's wrong so just tell me what it is, and stop moping like a baby about it," he said.

Without turning around, I responded. "I had a chemistry test today. I got a zero," I said matter-of-factly, hoping and praying the tears that were threatening to fall down my face would just go away. Or that Derek would go away. He'd never understand anyways. To him, school was a waste and I was just a keener who did well without trying. He didn't get how much work I put into it, how important it was for me to be perfect. I'd tried to explain it to him before, but it obviously didn't register.

But Derek surprised me. He was silent for a second or two, but when he responded, his voice was hushed. "I'm so sorry, Case," he whispered. And at that moment, I knew. I knew that he realized how important it was to me.

So I did what I probably shouldn't have done. I turned to my best friend, my face crumpled up in very un-pretty tears, and I cried. And he held me. He held me close while he stroked my hair.

"Shhh," he said. "Shh, it's okay Case. It'll be okay. This never happens to you. Ask to re-do the test or do an extra credit project to make it up. Your teacher will understand… they all love you. They'd do anything for you. Anything to make you happy." Although he was supposedly talking about my teachers, it felt like in reality he was talking about himself. And that made me feel so much better.

I hugged him then, long and hard, and whispered "Thank you," in his ear.

He leaned back, looking into my eyes and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. I smiled weakly and he grinned back, pushing me close to him again, we hugged once more. I realized then that his shoulder was damp. "Sorry, I got your shirt wet," I mumbled against him.

He laughed. "It's okay."

And that's when my parents arrived.

"We're home!" Mom exclaimed as they walked through the front door, and then it went silent. I'm thinking it's because they noticed we were hugging.

Derek and I moved apart quickly.

"We were just—"

"He was—"

"I thought she—"

I took a deep breath in and let it out. "Derek was just comforting me. I failed a test and I was really upset."

"Yeah and she wouldn't stop crying," Derek explained.

"And so he asked me what would make me stop crying," I continued.

"She said the only thing that would make her stop was a hug from her mom," he said quickly. "I told her you weren't home so I offered one instead. I was just trying to be… brotherly," he offered lamely.

"Oh, okay," Mom replied with a stiff smile.

"Sure, makes sense," George said.

But I could tell that they weren't completely convinced.

"So… Sally's upstairs in my room. Gotta go study," Derek said quickly, and before I could blink he was bounding up the stairs.

"Want that hug now?" Mom said as she set a bag of groceries down.

I nodded. "I could really use it."

………………………………………………

I didn't have much of an appetite, but I decided to sit through dinner for my mom's sake. She was worried about me, and I hated when she worried. She had so many other things to do; the last thing she needed was to watch over and check up on me.

Sally stayed for dinner. It had become a tradition the past few weeks. She'd sit beside Derek and shoot him little smiles and laugh at everything he said. I was convinced that underneath the table she was either playing footsies with him or else touching him in inappropriate places. To be honest, the last thing I wanted that night was to see her at my dinner table sitting beside my Derek, but what else could I do?

"So, Casey," Sally said suddenly, as Mom and George were distracted discussing a new TV show with Lizzie and Edwin. "What's new with you?"

That was an annoying habit of Sally's. She always tried to make small-talk with me, even though I really had no interest chatting with her. She was nice enough, of course; which made it all the more annoying. She was too perfect to dislike.

I hated her like poison.

"Not much. Same old, same old," I mumbled.

She smiled stiffly at me. "Come on, Case. You must have some exciting news. Any new love interests?" she asked eagerly.

Before I could respond, Derek cut in. "Ha, like anyone would go out with Train-wreck McDonald over there." He stabbed a portion of spaghetti and stuffed it in his mouth.

I sighed and pushed the food around my plate. I really wasn't in the mood to verbally spar with Derek tonight.

"Come on Derek," Sally rolled her eyes, but she was smiling in spite of herself. "I know Casey's had boyfriends. I met Max at the prom, remember?"

"Max hardly counts though," Derek replied with a smirk. "Nothing up there," he lifted his hand to mock knocking on his forehead. "So naturally he'd go for Casey."

I shrugged, avoiding the bait.

Derek seemed to take that as a challenge, and continued. "To be honest, Casey has infamously horrible taste in guys."

For some reason that really bugged me. Maybe it was because I knew he was right, and I didn't want to admit it.

"I do not!" I exclaimed, irritated. "I dated your best friend, remember?"

"Yes, and what a mistake that turned out to be," Derek smiled, satisfied that he was finally starting to rile me up.

"Whatever," I mumbled as I reached for my glass of milk.

"In fact, Casey just has horrible luck with guys. All of her relationships only seem to last a couple of months. Even I've had longer relationships than her, and I'm supposedly a Ladies' Man," Derek explained to Sally. "It's sad really. One day the guy likes Casey… for some inconceivable reason, of course… and the next day she's driving him crazy with her whining and nitpicking and nagging. Then they break up."

Just ignore him, I said inwardly. Just ignore him and maybe he'll stop.

But he didn't stop. "If I was in their shoes, I'd dump her too."

"Stop it!" I exclaimed angrily, my eyes filling with hot tears. "Just leave me alone, Derek," I said quietly.

"You know better than that," Derek scoffed.

"Casey, are you okay?" Sally asked softly. Damn her for being so nice and concerned when in reality I hated her.

"I'm fine," I lied, as I took my paper napkin in my hands and started shredding it into little tiny bits out of frustration. "Can I be excused?" I called over to my mom, but she was saying something to George and didn't hear me. I continued the shredding process, keeping my eyes anywhere but on Derek's face.

"Ha, you're not fine," Derek said. "Casey's upset," he explained to Sally. "Because she got a zero on a test. And her keener self can't take it. Her world is falling apart," he said dramatically. "The zero will bring her mark down to a B+ and throw off her whole school average, and then she'll never get accepted into the college she wants—it only takes straight A students, you see. Her life will be over, just because of one little zero."

Without meaning to, my eyes went to him. He was smirking, self-satisfied. He knew the right buttons to push; the right buttons to destroy me. And that smirk sent me over the edge.

I stood up quickly, pushing the chair out behind me with a loud screech. "Yeah, and it's all your fault!" I screamed angrily.

Bursting into angry tears, I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking it behind me. I slid down to the floor in frustration, bringing my knees up to my chest.

How could I feel so much hatred for the one person I thought I was falling in love with?

……………………………………………………

Next Chapter: How will Derek react to Casey's hurt? And how will this incident change their relationship? Which result does Casey not expect as mentioned; "Now, the night that I discovered that Derek didn't believe in love had a very specific purpose. It was going to set off a chain-reaction, with a result I absolutely did not expect. But like I said, everything happens for a reason." Stay tuned to the next chapter to find out!

…

A/N: Sorry the chapter was a bit overly angsty again… this is sort of an angsty story but eh… the next one will be better, I promise. And as for those of you pining away for a Dasey kiss, just remember that the best things are worth waiting for! Please review! (I also accept anonymous reviews, fyi) Feedback is greatly appreciated and treasured.