Why was I such a god damned coward? I called and as soon as he answered I'd hung up. I was acting like a 12 year old girl and I knew it. Calling was THE WRONG thing to do. Fuck Kevin, why did you think it was a good plan? Why? I slammed my hand on the steering wheel of my Jeep commander. I just wanted to go up to my room but with the party in full swing what chance did I have of getting by un noticed? I just sat in my car and waited. I waited for people to start leaving, I waited until I thought I could make it safely in the house, to my room before I got out of my car. I made a beeline for the back door and I almost made it, too. "What's your problem?" Joe asked, standing in front of the door, blocking me from my goal.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him, lying again…badly.

"Our kid brother turns 16 and you disappear for 32 hours. He turns 18 and you miss his party and then try to sneak in to the house. What kind of brother are you?"

"Not a very good one?" I tried, hoping that would get me off the hook.

"No, it makes you a downright shit ass brother." Joe hauled back and punched me in the nose…which I probably deserved and I would have admitted it except ow…it hurt!

"Fuck Joe, how much have you had to drink?"

"Just a couple sprites…" he began to laugh. "Mixed with some rather questionable clear liquid which some people call vodka…though I prefer happy juice."

"If you don't move I'm gonna cause some serious damage to your happy juice." And I wasn't talking about alcohol.

"Wow…I'm scared," Joe feigned terror, which only pissed me off more.

"Just move ok? Go fuck some drunk chick," I snarled.

"Ok." He nodded and called after a girl in a pair of jeans and white t-shirt. "Hey Aileen, wanna go make out in Nick's tree house?"

"Ok," she called back, linking arms with him and walking over to it. Pathetic. Joe was pathetic, but I was worse. He may be drunker then a Jew on Purim, but at least he'd shown up. I watched as Joe and Aileen made their way to the tree house; Joe fell off of the ladder three times before he made it up. I sighed, closed my eyes for a split second, and disappeared into the house. I was almost to my room when I noticed something odd. Nick's light was on and his door was slightly ajar. I knew that he was probably out with the party, but I couldn't help my curiosity, he never left his light on when he was out, it was part of his scheme to single handedly save the world or something. I pushed the door open slightly and sure enough, there was Nick, slumped on his bed, sniffling slightly. I felt bad, no I felt terrible. He had seen me though, and there was no going back. I entered the room and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Nick, what's wrong?" I asked. He didn't look up, he just turned his phone over and over again in his hands. The phone I gave him after his old one died when he left it in his pants pocket while mom did the laundry.

"You should know," he said, glaring at me. "You're never here when I need you anymore. I turn 16 and you're gone. I turn 18 and you're gone. I could die and you wouldn't come to my funeral."

"Nick, that's not true!" I wanted to reach out to him, to hold him, to tell him that I loved him more then anything in the world, but part of keeping my feelings in was keeping my distance, and I couldn't let these feelings out.

"Oh yeah?" He asked. "Then tell me where you were tonight." He dropped the phone on his mattress and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for a decent explanation.

"I was…" I sighed. There was now way that I could spin this my way, not without admitting my feelings and that was out of the question. "I was out."

"You were with a girl," he snapped. "It meant more to you to make it with some chick then to show up at my party." Oh god, he did not look happy.

"It's not like that Nick!" I argued. And it wasn't. It wasn't like that at all.

"Then how is it Kevin? How is it that some girl's answering your phone and then the line goes dead when you were supposed to be here? I don't mean to sound whiney, but 18's a big deal and I was there for you Kevin, I was there for you."

"I-I know." I sighed and hung my head in shame. "Look, I swear that I had a good reason for being where I was instead of here, but I just can't explain it to you, you wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Nick looked at me defiantly, taunting me, teasing me without even knowing it.

"Nick, no." I shook my head. "I shouldn't have to explain my every move to you, I'm my own person and I never said I'd come to this party."

"You shouldn't have had to," Nick argued. "We weren't fighting and you're my brother! It should have been a given that you'd be here tonight."

"Well did anybody miss me?" I asked.

"I did!" Nick yelled. He looked at me exasperated. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die, I hated that I'd hurt him like this, I really needed to think of better ways to go about things in the future. "I want an explanation Kevin, why did you leave me high and dry?" I sighed. He looked so hurt, so angry…this was agony.

"I didn't come because…because of this." I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips against his.

Wow that was suspensful!