Order meeting…

Sirius sipped his tea quietly as he studied the names on his assignment sheet, his eyes occasionally drifting to watch the people around him. It was a rare occurrence – Sirius and silence didn't always make the best of couples, but the job at hand was his first for the Order, and he wanted to make sure he made a good first impression, however tedious and simple it might be.

Sirius's first Order meeting turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment really. He had expected it to be darker, perhaps a little more secretive, maybe even some glitz and glamour while they were at it. Sirius shook his head. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe he has been watching too much television.

Still, even James seemed a bit…well, put off, especially since there had been liberal amounts of sunshine in the conference room instead of being dark and dangerous. Not to mention, the meeting seemed more of a political discussion over biscuits (homemade) and tea. Black family dinners had been more menacing.

The meeting had its upsides of course. Dumbledore had elaborated on some of the finer points of the war and Voldemort, and it turned out that the Daily Prophet was concealing more than it was reporting; the war was a lot further ahead than he had initially thought. It was juvenile of course, but Sirius had never been more eager to fight before now. Not only because he saw himself as valiant and victorious, but also because he truly believed his presence could make a difference and Dumbledore had clarified it.

Sirius had also had the fortune (and misfortune in some cases) to meet a handful of new people. The Weasleys, for instance, who had always been infamous back in Grimmauld Place for their breeding habits and love for muggles. It came as no surprise that they were irresistibly nice people, well Arthur Weasley at least. Sirius didn't like Molly too much, and she seemed only happy to reciprocate his feelings. She was too overbearing and molly coddling for her age; not to mention, she kept glaring at Sirius's hair as if it was the second biggest abomination on Earth after Voldemort. It was quite unfair, he concluded, especially when Remus's hair was a lot longer and at least two inches past his shoulder.

Sirius looked at Remus - who was sitting beside him and talking animatedly with Hagrid - through the corner of his eyes. It explained things really, why no one ever glared at the Remus. He had the cute factor – it was irresistible, at least according to Sirius. It probably made Molly (mothering as she was) want to sit him on a high chair and feed him home cooked meals all day.

Then there was Shaklebolt, who Sirius had met at work and thought was quite decent up until today. They'd all known about Remus being a werewolf of course, John Lupin was unabashed and open about it in the Order. Yet, when Dumbledore had introduced Remus to everyone for the first time, he'd been the only one to object with a vocal 'ridiculous!', that neither the Marauders nor John appreciated. It takes some getting used to, Remus had said with a soft smile when Sirius had wanted to retaliate, he's not prejudiced, just surprised. Remus was right of course, as always.

Then, there was Dung, whose name clearly expressed his sense of style and his attitude towards most things quite graphically. That didn't mean he was dislikeable by any means; Dung had his own brand of charm. He was very well informed about slums and dumps of the wizard underground and had the most notorious and amusing stories to tell. He was a thief, undoubtedly, but one that did very little harm except when he tried to steal all their tea spoons. That was a bit inconvenient. He was currently in rapid conversation with Peter, who was trying to get a few of his belongings sold, namely that horrid orange couch in his living room.

Then there was Frank and Alice Longbottom – blissfully married and sickeningly in love. Both were two of best Aurors in DMLE, incredibly smart, nice, old school friends, and recently, very good friends with James and Lily. Sirius didn't like them either, only because they were stealing his best friends.

Lastly, there were the Prewett brothers; bright blond hair, blue eyes, tall and well built, and though they weren't identical, they were equally good looking. Especially Fabian, whom Sirius couldn't help but glance at every so often. He wondered briefly if he was being unfaithful to Remus, but shook it off. It wasn't like he cared for Fabian Prewett or found him attractive enough to actually do something about it. Besides, the man was married with a child.

'Nice, isn't he?' whispered Remus in his ear. Hagrid had just left to talk to Dumbledore.

Sirius closed his eyes and smiled contently. 'I hadn't noticed.' A hand rested at the back of his chair, applying subtle pressure to the back of his neck.

Remus chuckled and leaned back into his chair. 'I prefer Gideon to be honest.'

Sirius turned, an eyebrow raised. 'Oh?'

'Hm, Fabian's nice if you're looking for the boy-next-door kind, but Gideon…' Remus growled softly.

Both of Sirius's eyebrows shot up. 'You're doing this just to freak me out, aren't you?'

Remus pretended not to hear. 'He's available too.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and smacked Remus up the head. 'Yes, he's just waiting for us to jump on him.' Sirius blinked. 'And am I talking about a potential threesome here? What did Molly put in our tea?'

Remus laughed but went on. Sirius wasn't sure if Remus was just making fun of him or actually serious. 'Think about it, he's gorgeous, he's over twenty five and he isn't going out with anyone. If that isn't an indication, I –'

Thankfully, that's when James decided to interrupt. 'What are you two faggots talking about, eh?' He leaned on both their shoulders amiably.

'The recent abandonment of our so called best friend,' replied Sirius pushing James's elbow out of his face.

'Aw, come on you guys, it's not like I was having fun.' James pouted hopefully.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other. 'Uh-huh. What do you think would be the nicest china pattern, darling?' Sirius mocked, fluttering his eyes at Remus. 'The blue or the yellow?'

James cuffed them simultaneously 'It was Lily's idea, I swear. She thinks we should hang around with more couples.'

'We're a couple!' Sirius huffed, gesturing between him and Remus who quickly swatted his hand away, looking around to see if anyone had heard.

James rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair beside them. 'Hardly, I overheard you guys talking about Gideon there. You might want to keep it down…'

Remus had the decency to look abashed, but Sirius just grinned. 'Jealous, Prongs?'

'You wish.' He reached out for Sirius's assignment paper and looked over it carefully. 'What have you got then?'

Sirius snatched the paper back and folded it into his front pocket. 'Suspected Death Eaters. Supposed to look through them in the Ministry records. See what I can find out…me and Alice Longbottom.'

James scrunched up his nose. 'Sounds like a right bore. I got paired with Moody, street patrol.'

Remus shrugged. 'That isn't much fun either unless something actually happens. I got street patrol too…with dad.'

James grinned and pinched Remus's cheeks. 'Aw, isn't that cute! Daddy's little angel off to save the world!'

'Leave him alone, Prongs,' said Sirius, smiling slightly. He knew Remus had actually opted to go with his father willingly. Something about a learning experience from a trained professional and what not. Gobshit. Sirius knew Remus better than that.

Remus smiled back and squeezed Sirius's thigh underneath the table as a small thank you. He glanced at the wall clock and swiftly got up. 'I should get going. Mum will want dad home by midnight. I'll see you tonight, Padfoot.' He nodded towards James. 'Prongs.'

James nodded back, taking over Remus's seat. 'You won't believe some of the stunts I learned at the pitch today. Our captain's got these…'

Sirius tuned James out as he watched Remus walk to stand beside his father. It wasn't that James' story was boring. Au contraire, it was quite interesting the first fifty times but now, Sirius had other things in mind, namely Remus. He had been hoping that whatever task they'd be assigned, the Marauders would get it together as a team. That way they all looked out for each other, just like in Hogwarts. It wasn't that Sirius was the worrying kind. He was all for action and the thrill of something dangerous, but there had been a nagging feeling at the back of his mind ever since he arrived here. Maybe it was animal instinct or maybe just friendly concern. It could even be jealousy over Remus getting the more active job. Either ways, Sirius opted to ignore it and simply watched Remus for the pleasure of it.

Remus was standing beside his father, chatting to Dumbledore when it caught Sirius – the likeness. Merlin. It wasn't that Sirius had never seen them together before, but he had never actually seen them stand this close to each other, in line. It was like looking through some odd mirror caught between the past and the future. Remus and John Lupin were identical in nearly every aspect – the same hair, the same chiseled features, and even nearing to the same body build. They were so alike that it seemed they were only different versions of themselves. Sirius could already see Remus twenty years from now in John Lupin. It was erotic in the most absurd of ways and Sirius found himself completely unable to look away.

So when Remus caught him staring and winked, Sirius blushed and tried hard to concentrate on James' mouth moving. He didn't think Remus would appreciate him having a hard on after looking at him and his father.

'…and then we got the Wronski Feint down…'

XxxxX

John looked at his son through the corner of his eyes and sighed. He fished out a pocket of cigarettes from his jacket and lit one. 'Smoke?' he asked, offering the packet to Remus.

Remus waved it away with his hand. 'I don't-.'

John snorted, blowing out thick grey swirls. 'Remus, I'm your father. There's very little you can hide from me.'

Remus smiled abashedly and took one, lighting it with his wand.

John pocketed the packet back. 'Don't tell your mother. She thinks I'm a bad influence on you.'

'Dad, you are a bad influence on me,' replied Remus, grinning and blowing out smoke.

'I taught you your first spell at the age of four, you ungrateful brat,' said John, waving his cigarette around indignantly. It was a show of course; he was just trying to get Remus comfortable enough to spill whatever was on his mind. 'Bet not many fathers raise their children to be that smart at an early age, eh?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Dad, you let me use your wand when I barely had the capacity to form proper sentences, and my first spell turned Gran's hair blue.'

John slapped his cheek lightly. 'That's because she told me I was a bad influence on you. Words like that cannot go unpunished.'

Remus laughed but quieted down quickly. John didn't say anything. It would come; he knew his son; and the trick to get him to talk was to let him take his own time and think things out. If it was important, he would tell. He always did, to John at least. He blew out his last puff of smoke and let the cigarette drop under his foot.

'Dad?'

The old man was never wrong. 'Hm?'

Remus stopped walking and bit his lip. 'How do you know mum loves you?'

John stopped as well. He hadn't been expecting a question like that. 'She told me over dinner, right before she told me I had to throw out the garbage tonight.'

Remus chuckled. 'No, I mean, before…you know…'

'Before we got married?' John smiled and started walking again, urging Remus to do the same. 'Well, she'd tell it to me quite often. Women – very in touch with their feelings and all.'

Remus gave an 'I wouldn't know' shrug.

'Besides, it was inevitable. She was the girl next door, my play mate since we were in diapers, and pen pals later on when I went to Hogwarts.' John's eyes took a faraway look to them as if remembering fond memories. 'We were bound to get together eventually.'

Remus turned to him. 'Did you?'

John broke out of his reverie 'Did I what?'

Remus shrugged. 'You know…ever say it?'

John shook his head. 'Not a lot. You know me - actions speak louder than words, and the fact that I couldn't wait to knock her up with you till we got married proves it, doesn't it?' He grinned slyly as Remus groaned.

'Dad!' Remus touched his ears checking if they'd been scarred permanently. 'I really didn't need to hear that.'

'What? It's not like you don't know. You asked me a question, I gave a frank answer.'

'Lewd's the word you're looking for.'

John stuffed his hands in his pockets as they walked in silence for awhile, giving Remus time to think things over. Finally, he spoke, 'Don't wait.'

Remus blinked. 'Huh?'

John ran a hand through his hair. 'It's what your mum would say. Don't wait till the last minute, especially with this war going on, you know. I'm not-'

Remus suddenly stopped and grabbed his father's forearm. 'Wait.' His body tensed and they both reached out for their wands simultaneously. 'Lum-'

'EXPELLIARMUS!'

Their wands flew out of their hands, and Remus suddenly found himself hurtling through the air, all the wind knocked out of him. He came to an abrupt stop when he collided into a nearby wall and fell to a crumpled heap on the sidewalk. There were stars dancing around his head, as Remus fought to gain focus. After repeated blinking, his vision finally cleared to reveal his father a few feet away from him, eyes clenched in pain.

Remus rubbed the back of head and struggled to his knees. 'Dad, are you okay?'

John gritted his teeth. 'My back.'

'Remus, Remus Lupin…'

Remus's blood ran cold. He recognised that voice. How could he not? Here, oh God, he was here. The hair at the back of his neck stood up in warning, his instincts screaming bloody murder, and just run, run as fast as you can!, but the rational part of his told him to stay. He would be dead faster the other way; and his father was here, wounded - Remus couldn't leave him here. This was what he had signed up for, wasn't it? This was what the Order was about…

'I was hoping we'd meet again.'

Remus moved towards his father, keeping a strong hold on him as he helped him to his feet. Apparate! Take dad and apparate! He closed his eyes and envisioned his flat – warm and cosy with Sirius there, waiting for him. But nothing happened. Apparition wards! When did this happen? Why didn't I notice? John groaned loudly beside him, and Remus realised that he was having a hard time standing up, even with Remus supporting most of his weight.

He pulled John closer, watching with growing apprehension and unable to run as the owner of the voice revealed himself.

Voldemort.

'You've grown since I last saw you.'

His voice was silky, deeper than Remus remembered it. His appearance had become more menacing – the once remotely handsome face was as white as chalk, his cheeks hollowed and his eyes now dark slits. Long black robes camouflaged him entirely with the night, illuminating only so often when he passed by a street lamp. Inhuman…there was no other word to describe him. With every step he took, warmth evaporated and dread took over.

Remus could feel his heart pumping wild with adrenaline, as Voldemort's face loomed inches from his and long skeletal fingers ran down his cheeks. 'I've heard so much about you.' The fingers moved to the back of his neck and traced every letter of the registry code accurately. 'Fenrir tells me you have refused his offer?'

Remus had been so frozen with fear that he hadn't noticed the lurking shadows apart from Voldemort himself. There were Death Eaters – three of them and a werewolf - Fenrir Greyback, whose scent stood out distinctly among all of them. He was concealed by shadows mostly, but easily distinguishable from the yellow eyes that looked at John with pure blood lust.

Out of instinct, Remus found his body moving forward, just enough to cover his father. 'I have,' he replied, sounding braver than he felt. He saw a shine of sharp, canine teeth in the dark, and he knew Greyback had smelled the terror off him.

Voldemort raised a skeptical eyebrow. 'Is the pay not good enough?'

Remus found it hard to maintain eye contact and tried his best to not let his eyes wander. He would not give them the satisfaction of his fear. 'It's fine. I just got another job.'

'At a muggle store?' Voldemort tutted. 'Not quite living up to your expectations, are you?'

Defenceless. He was defenceless without his wand. Every part of him was being stripped and torn apart under Voldemort's gaze. Inch by painful inch. His senses had magnified to detect even the smallest gasps and pained sounds coming from his father; or maybe it was him - he couldn't tell. He knew it was selfish for him to think so, but Remus was glad for John's presence and his silence. The wrong words could trigger a fight neither of them was prepared for. He just needed to think rationally; find a way to escape or at least, get their wands back.

Voldemort fingered the silver etchings on the handle of his wand. 'I've been asked to help you reconsider. Fenrir seems to think that I'm…very convincing…'

Remus's eyes moved around slightly, looking for an escape. 'I already gave Mr. Greyback my final answer.'

Voldemort smiled, slowly walking around them. 'And your reasons are purely professional?' he asked slyly, twirling Remus's hair with his wand and moving it away from his neck.

'My reasons are purely my concern.' Remus had finally spotted their wands - shattered into pieces beside one of the shorter Death Eaters. He could feel the little hope he'd had left deflate inside of him.

'Remus, Remus, you're a man now. It is time you set aside your grudges and embrace the power given to you. Fenrir's attack is an event of your past and while you must always learn from past experiences, you must not dwell on them, wouldn't you agree John?' Voldemort turned with a swish of his cloak and smiled cruelly.

John who had been silent all this while, simply glared and Remus watched admirably as he masked his pain. 'There is no power in taking innocent lives.'

Voldemort clapped his hands together and laughed. 'How heroic!' He brought his face closer to Remus, red eyes boring into him dangerously. 'You want to be like your father someday, don't you, Remus – strong, courageous, an utter fool…'

Remus said nothing, but his insides boiled with contempt and suppressed anger. They would not win; they would not stimulate a rash response out of him…

'Take him,' Voldemort drawled, his arm waving nonchalantly towards John as he addressed the Death Eaters.

Remus's hold tightened the same time they made to grab for John. He did not have a wand, but he had inhuman strength and there was no way he would let them touch his father. He fought against them, hitting them with one arm while holding on to John with the other who was fighting just as hard through all his pain. Remus was just about to deliver another blow when a warm floating sensation filled his mind, and a feeling of utter peace over took him.

A soft voice whispered in his ear. 'Remus, let go.'

I can't…

'You can,' the voice urged. 'Let go and you'll never worry about anything again.'

The prospect seemed enticing, the voice so insistent and trustworthy. Why couldn't he let go, Remus wondered. It seemed stupid to hold on, really.

It was his father's voice screaming his name that brought him crashing into reality. 'No' He told the invisible voice. 'No. No. I can't. NO!

There was blinding pain like nothing he'd ever felt before. Worse than his transformations, worse than the time he'd ripped off all the skin from his back. It was like hot iron needles trying to enter his skin - infecting him, cutting him - and all he could do was scream. Scream and scream and scream because it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop, oh god, please make it stop! I'll do anything to make it stop!

And just when he was sure his head was going to burst, it stopped and the pain immediately dulled away. Remus opened his eyes, unaware of when he'd closed them. His heart stopped when he saw John in front of him, only somehow standing between two of the Death Eaters, tightly bound and gagged.

'Dad!' He tried to move but felt himself held back by an invisible force. 'Let him go!'

Voldemort appeared not to hear as he paced elegantly between them. 'You see, Remus, I have ways of convincing people, but in the end, the choice is always left for them to make.' He licked his lips, forked tounge peeking out only slightly. 'Free will is very important when it comes to decision making, but your father seems to always make them for you. Do not worry. He will not be harmed.' He smiled nastily, revealing a different intent. 'All you have to do is listen.'

Remus eyed his father who had stopped struggling against his bonds to look back at his son, trusting him. 'If I do, will you let him go?'

Voldemort linked his fingers together. 'You're the first of your kind, Remus, to hold magical ability to such an extent - a combination of your own Dark Magic and one that you are naturally born with as a wizard. I'm sure you know that.' He did not wait for an answer to continue. 'What is it that you want, Remus? What is it that all your kind wants?'

Freedom, thought Remus. It was all that he wanted right now.

'Freedom,' repeated Voldemort as if reading into his thoughts. 'And you have the potential to give these werewolves what they rightfully deserve. What they were supposed to be born with but were denied by wizards who think they are higher mortals. You, Remus, could lead them to a better future.'

He'd heard it. He'd heard it a thousand times and it had been believable at first, but Remus had learned through trial and error. He knew these were simply words made to manipulate his mind. Voldemort was telling him what he wanted to hear, not what was real. His words were deceit, hand in hand with a lie – the wolf could smell it and the human could see it. Leglimency, Remus realised, like Dumbledore. Voldemort was using it to read into his mind, find out what he truly wanted and block out any possible means of escape.

Slowly, Remus began to concentrate on shutting down his thoughts. They'd learnt the basics of Occlumency in their seventh year, but Remus had known it better than anyone in his class - except Snape - and he had his father to thank. 'They'd be hunted down irrespective,' Remus said slowly, trying to buy time. 'My magical powers won't suffice against an army of Ministry Officials.'

Voldemort blinked lazily and smiled. 'It will if you have Lord Voldemort by your side. Therefore, I ask you to join me.'

Remus prepared himself for any sort of blow that might come as he replied in a single word: 'No.'

Voldemort shrugged. 'It is your decision.' He turned to the Death Eaters and Remus was sure they were going to kill him. 'Untie the bonds around his mouth.'

John's gag fell to the ground and Remus nearly sighed with relief, when Voldemort whipped his wand in a severe motion and Remus saw more than heard the words Crucio! form on his lips.

His father screaming was the most horrifying thing he'd ever heard, and Remus struggled desperately to be free of the spell binding him. 'Stop it!' He screamed, blood rushing to his face, making it burn with rage and desperation. 'Stop it!'

Voldemort took away his wand and watched with sick satisfaction as John tried to catch his breath. 'I'll never understand this…this…emotion…' He waved his hand around airily. 'What do you call it again? Love, is it?' He chuckled to himself, tracing irrelevant patterns in the air with his wand. 'Tell me Remus, what hurts more? When I inflict pain on you – Crucio!'

The spell hit at the blink of an eye and oh god! Not again! His mind and body screamed in excruciating pain. There was no blood, but there were red spots forming behind his eyelids, his fists clenching till his nails drew blood from his palm, bitter bile rising in his throat.

And then it stopped and Remus never felt this wonderful his entire life…

Voldemort smiled as Remus's body sagged. 'Or is it more agonising to watch a loved one go through the same pain – Crucio!'

John was screaming again, and it rang in Remus's ears like a bad dream, echoing louder with every passing second. He felt a pull of desperation, a fist clench at his heart, and when the first few tears started leaking out of his father's eyes, Remus felt the corner of his own eyes sting hotly. He would do anything…anything to make them stop, as long as they didn't kill him; as long as he didn't have to watch his father go through so much pain...

'Stop!' screamed Remus finally, his resolve crumbling. 'Please, what do you want?'

Voldemort laughed and pocketed his wand. 'What I want Remus, is the world at my feet.' He glided towards Remus, lips brushing his ear as he whispered the last of his sentence. 'But from you…just one word.'

'Don't you dare, Remus!' John panted out, despite the pain he was in. 'You hear me, don't you fucking dare!'

Voldemort rolled his eyes exasperatedly and muttered a silent Crucio! against Remus's ears.' Quite a fighter, your old man,' he said, delighting in the screams that echoed throughout the streets.

Remus was close to tears now, and he closed his eyes unable to watch his father – the same man he'd thought invincible a writhing mass of pain. It hurt too much and he briefly wondered why no one was coming to help them. Surely, no one could stay awake through all that screaming. 'Stop,' he whispered slowly, and he would have fallen to his knees if it hadn't been for the binding spell. 'Just stop, I'm begging you.'

'Your choices are simple, Remus – black and white. If you say no, you leave your father in pain, perhaps even death...' Voldemort's wand lowered and Remus found himself breathing again. 'You say yes, I will guarantee the life you and your family has always wanted. You will have Lord Voldemort's protection and his word.'

Remus stared at John for a long time. He wanted to say yes, fuck, he wanted to say yes because he was sure he wouldn't survive another Crucio to his father. But he also knew how disappointed John would be; how much hatred John had for the Dark Arts. Most of all, he knew that John would rather die than have Remus convert to the other side.

'No,' he said firmly, head falling to his chest.

Instantly, Remus found himself falling to the ground. The body bind had been withdrawn and his body felt stiff from disuse.

Voldemort shook his head sadly. 'Then I have no purpose here. I have mentioned before, Remus that I believe in free will. By my own rules, this is the part where I leave you free to your own devices. Have it known that your defeat is unavoidable when you're fighting for Dumbledore. You are a pawn in his game while you are a king in mine.' He turned towards Greyback, who had been an uncharacteristically silent observer of the show all this time. So silent that Remus had almost forgotten about him. 'However, my friend, Fenrir has been of the utmost service to me, and I cannot deny him a favour. You see, Remus, Fenrir has opened his world to you as a father, a guide, but you have turned your back on him.'

Remus couldn't be bothered to listen to Voldemort. The Death Eaters had let John go and Remus rushed to help him before he fell and injured himself any further.

'You are now a potential threat to his noble work.'

'Are you okay?' asked Remus quietly and breathed a small sigh of relief when his father smiled and clung on to him hard. 'I thought-'

'I'm proud of you,' interrupted John.

'So I can do nothing but leave him to you to decide a suitable punishment.' Voldemort smiled cold-heartedly. 'Goodbye, Remus. Give my regards to my dead father.'

It was the last declaration that caught Remus's attention and it took a while for him to register the true meaning of Voldemort's words. By then, Voldemort had already vanished and Greyback had sprung on him. Greyback's attack came as such a surprise that Remus promptly let go of his father, reeling back and falling down on his back.

'Remus!'

Remus screamed more out of surprise than pain, when Greyback sunk his teeth deep into Remus's shoulder - exactly where he'd bitten before. The wound opened and blood gushed out, staining Greyback's teeth and making him look even more maniacal. The old werewolf was feeding on the wound, sucking and biting, and Remus pushed him off in fear; but he clung. He clung, sharp nails dragging across his skin and digging into his flesh. He clung despite Remus punching and kicking at him frantically.

Remus could hear his father shouting through his own screams, and he knew in his mind that John was trying his best to just stand and help him. 'Get off my son, you motherfucker! Get the fuck off him! Remus!'

Even the Death Eaters just stood there, flabbergastered, watching with sick fascination as Fenrir tore at him like an animal. Remus's eyes rolled to the back of his head in pain and only through that haze did he realise that one of the Death Eaters had been looking directly at him. His eyes met with black glittering ones, filled with disgust and apathy, and Remus knew he'd seen them before; but his mind was too caught up in pain, as Fenrir clawed into him ferociously, eating at his flesh.

Remus screamed and screamed, almost giving up fighting, when he felt himself being pulled away by a larger force, Fenrir's nails dragging cuts across his skin in the process. He met the Death Eater's dark, intense gaze, before let his eyes fall shut. For the second time that day, Remus's head collided with a wall, followed by a sickening crack. He fell to the ground with such impact that he was sure he'd broken a rib. He could feel cool wetness creeping down his hair and neck, could even hear the sounds of it dripping on to the pavement.

He didn't want to move, he couldn't if he wanted to. He just wanted to die. Die and end it now.

'That's enough Greyback,' said a cold voice, and he knew it belonged to that Death Eater, because like his eyes, even his voice felt familiar. Remus tried to remember, but it hurt too much and he stopped, feeling disoriented and confused. 'Your displays are disgusting and futile. It is a well known fact that magic can cause a lot more pain.'

Remus opened his eyes but only saw a tornado of colours all blurring together. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus. The world righted itself for awhile and Remus saw the Death Eater raise his wand and his eyes promptly fell shut again. He didn't think he could survive another Crucio but prepared himself for it nevertheless. Maybe this time he would get lucky, maybe this time the pain would kill him.

'Crucio!'

He waited patiently for the pain but when nothing came, he opened his eyes in confusion and was met with his father's blue irises.

'Remus,' John wheezed out. Had his father taken the blow instead? 'Remus, I need your help…' John looked up and Remus saw the outlines of a weak Protego around them, just enough to keep the worst of the spell away. 'Remus, can you hear me?'

Remus stared as the protection shield shimmered when another Crucio spell hit and despite his daze, he knew this was a hoax. John was too weak to cast a strong enough shield for the spell to completely reflect, especially if it was strongly intended to cause pain. That Death Eater was helping them, buying them time and using their Protego as an excuse to not hurt them.

'Remus, focus!' His dad shook his shoulders and Remus's whole world shook out of center. 'I'm going to combine our magic to send for help, okay? Give me your hand.'

Half understanding, Remus let his father hold both his hands tightly. Things were getting groggier now, his vision pulling in and out of focus. There was a slight pulling sensation in the middle of his chest, and Remus was about to let his eyelids drop from exhaustion when he felt the pain. It wasn't as bad as the Crucio but excruciating just the same. He felt as if his soul was being pulled out of his body by hook and thread, and he tried to pull his hands back, but John kept a tight hold.

'Dad, it hurts,' he cried almost childishly, still fighting to get free. Why was his father hurting him too? What did he do wrong?

'I know. I'm sorry,' said John squeezing his hands tightly in reassurance. 'It'll be over soon, but before that can you do your old man a favour? Can you think of happy memories? Can you do that, lad? As many as you want.'

It wasn't hard to think of happy memories, not really. His mind was already reeling haphazardly; shifting from one thought to another. He'd already lost control of most of his body, at least he thought so, but what did he know? Maybe he never had control in the first place. Maybe this wasn't his body? Was it possible to have your mind in one place and your body in another?

'Remus, please!'

Remus's mind was playing a movie now but it was horribly edited. There was no organisation at all. It kept switching from the past to the present, sometimes even the future, or at least, what he dreamt of sometimes as the future. They would never really happen, his mind had told him that many times.

He saw the first time he'd ridden a two-wheeler without falling

Sirius holding him after sex, stroking his hair lovingly and placing the softest kisses on his temple.

He and his father shopping for supplies for his first year in Hogwarts.

The Marauders changing back from their Animagus forms – Wormtail, Prongs, Padfoot, and him – Moony. He liked that name, though he'd never admit it.

Biting into his mother's chocolate chip cookies after a grueling transformation. They were his favourite.

'Remus, say it with me okay? Expecto Patronum.'

Aunt Nash pretending to scold the stairs after he'd fallen off them and scraped his knees. She always made him laugh and he loved her a lot, even if she was a bit mad.

James and Peter telling Remus they didn't care if he was werewolf.

'Remus! I need you to concentrate!'

Remus was six and he'd just come back from the hospital, and daddy was always screaming. Not screaming at him, but about him, and Remus hated it.

'Remus.' John was squeezing his hands painfully tight now, and Remus blinked.

He was back on the hard pavement and his father's dirt streaked face faded in and out. His father needed help, he concluded. Remus would help him, that's what he'd do. 'Expecto Patronum,' they chorused together and it hurt so much that he didn't want to do it again.

John urged him to repeat it, again and again, and with every incantation, Remus's world got a little darker. The pain hadn't decreased but suddenly, he didn't have the energy to care anymore. He didn't want to do this anymore and he wished they would just stop. His head felt woozy, it refused to work; his body had already shut down a long time ago under all that pressure.

'Expecto Patronum.'

The little vision he had disappeared completely, and a small bubble panic welled up in Remus chest as blindness overtook him. 'Dad, I can't see…' He didn't even want to talk anymore. It took too much out of him. Just breathing seemed like a feat now.

One of his father's hands untangled from his and stroked his sweat and blood soaked hair. 'Just one last time and I promise, it'll be over. Just one more, please.'

Remus wanted to nod but gave up in the end when his neck refused to respond to his brain. He took a deep breath and mustered up the last of his strength.

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!'

Pain, unbearable pain, and Remus would have screamed if he had any force left in him. He could feel his conscious slipping away, and he struggled to gain control. His father needed his help and he wanted to. Wanted to protect him so bad, but he couldn't even see, couldn't understand what was going on.

'Dad,' he whispered, every word costing him his breath. 'I can't-'

John let go of his hands and pulled him closer until Remus's head was lying on his chest. 'I know. It's okay…it's over.' There were hands smoothing out his hair; a comforting warmth making him drowsy. 'Sleep if you have to. I'm here, lad, I'm here.'

Remus surrendered to the soft murmurings of his father and let the last of his conscious slide. The last thing he felt was the slight brush of feathers against his cheek.

XxxxX

This is a reply for those of you who were nice enough to review but didn't put in an e-mail address.

RaeAndRia: Well, hun, I'm sorry, but I can't answer your question. You'll just have to read and see, won't you? leafgreen: Thank you. Yeah, it's the way I imagined Sirius. I figured he should have been atleast a bit bratty at first. Glad you liked the story though. Not too much SBRL in this chapter, but there will be in the next one, I can promise you that. Michel1389: I must have read your review atleast five times, it makes me feel that good. And yeah, there wil be more, though I can't exactly say how much, and I might even tweak canon a bit, by popular demand. Jono: Guess I did find time to update. I hope you liked this chapter just as much, even though it takes more of a different route than that we've been going through so far. VG Jekyll: Lol, leather pants are so hot and yet so bloody uncomfortable. I'm not sure how Sirius drives a motorcycle and wears those at the same time.