A/N: Written because manga Minami needs a story of his own. Dedicated to those who reviewed or pm-ed me that they were awaiting a new chapter. Thank you.

Warning: Remember my stories are strongly manga based (until chapter 10.1)

Disclaimer: Gokusen isn't mine but this story is.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

It was John Gray who coined the sentence "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". For all this talk about the differences between men and women, it is surprising to see men (as well as women) planning trips to such inhospitable planets. Blame it on the gravitational pull each body exerts on the other, on Mars eagerness to crash into Venus' orbit, or Venus' willingness to conform to the other... Ah, but I'm mixing my analogies here!

The point is that no matter how much we fail to understand the opposite sex, we (men and women) still seek each other.

At the school rooftop...

"Look, ya guys! There she is again." Minami motioned to his three friends to come over.

"Who d'ya think she is?" Noda asked.

"I don't know but she's a looker." Minami said eying the young woman dreamily.

"I wonder who she's waiting for." Kuma said.

Shin approached his four friends who at this particular time seemed to be engrossed watching... well, he didn't know what they were watching...

"Hey guys!" Shin was uncharacteristically ignored by the four.

He followed their gaze, for a brief moment, to a lovely young girl waiting by the school gate. Setting his eyes back on them, he sighed inwardly.

He should have known that his friends' diffused attention could only be focused by (aside from, possibly, the world coming to an end) a woman. Though he wondered where would their attention be focused if the world were coming to an end and a pretty girl passed by them. Would they forget about their doomed fate and try to see who could get a date from her?

He looked at them on the sly and rolled his eyes. They would most definitely spend their last dying breath trying to get that one last date.

"Carpe diem!" Shin muttered sarcastically.

"Hn." One of the four finally said in acknowledgement of Shin's arrival to the rooftop.

"That's Asami-san, Tsuruta's younger sister." Shin said as he sat down on one of the two benches of the rooftop.

Kuma mumbled something in response.

Now, Shin's practiced ear was trained to understand Kuma's mumblings when he had food in his mouth much like a dentist could understand you even though he injected you full of novocaine, shoved gauze into your (now numb) mouth, asked you to keep your mouth nice and wide while sticking three fingers and a drill in it. Yep, Shin's ability to understand Kuma while he had his mouth full was as close to a skill as it could get. However, Kuma mumbled out of shock. And this kind of mumbling was incomprehensible even to Shin.

"Huh?" Shin asked puzzled. He looked at his friend only to be met by four pairs of eyes which were blinking nonstop as if their brains were trying to reboot to expunge the corrupted data that had just being received.

Ucchi, with his propensity for opening his mouth before thinking things through, was the first one to recover from the shock

"Tsuruta's sister?" He asked while he (and the other three) slowly set their eyes back on the lovely young girl still waiting by the school gate.

"Uh-huh", was Shin's bored reply. Thereby a full minute of silence fell on the rooftop of Shiroken Gakuen.

Surely, Shin-chan must be mistaken. Then again, we were talking about Shin-chan here. And it was this particular thought that nudged Kuma into breaking the silence as he rephrased the intend behind Ucchi's previous question.

"You sure about that?" Kuma tilted his head as if the different angle would show the hidden family resemblance. Shin-chan did not answer. He lay down on the bench, his arms folded behind his head, waiting for the bell to ring to indicate the end of the school day.

"Maybe she's adopted." Noda retorted, still blinking. "She don't look like Tsuruta AT ALL!"

"Thank God for that." Minami said under his breath, his gaze never wavering from the young woman. "Though it's gonna be hard to approach her knowing Tsuruta is her brother."

Noda eyed Minami curiously and said, "Oi, you thinkin' of goin' after her?"

Ucchi, seeing Minami's apprehension, said "Don't worry. I'm gonna help you with that." Ucchi's mind was in planning mode.

Shin carefully opened one eye at Ucchi's offer.

"Well, I was thinking-"

"Always a worry." Shin grumbled under his breath. Kuma, being the one standing nearest the prone form of his too-cool-friend, was the only one who heard him.

Ucchi cleared his throat to try to gain Kuma's attention before he continued, "First thing you need to do is talk to her."

"But Tsuruta-" Minami was about to protest when Ucchi raised a palm to shush him.

"There's no problem with Tsuruta. You know that he's as tame as a kitten now." Ucchi explained.

Minami wasn't that convinced, and frankly neither were the other two.

"We're talking about his sister here!" Noda said.

"Uh-huh. You may be able to poke him all you want now and he will quietly take it... but his sister..." Kuma's grimace acted as the end of that sentence. It was Minami who vaguely expanded on Kuma's unfinished thought.

"That's just another story all together."

"I'm surprised at you, Minami." Ucchi said appalled. "Are your intentions less than honorable?" He furrowed his brows in disapproval.

"N-n-n-no, of course not." Minami said more surprised at Ucchi's use of the words 'intentions' and 'honorable' than at the actual question itself.

Ucchi's mood suddenly changed, in true bipolar fashion, to a full blown grin.

"Then, there's no problem. You go talk to her then-"

But the skeptical looks on his friends' eyes stopped his train of thought, making the grin falter until it died.

Ucchi, in a moment of uncharacteristic insight, said, "You guys have no faith in my genuis." Slightly dejected, he added "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

The three boys exchanged incredulous looks before cocking an eyebrow then looking back at their friend. Shin couldn't help but smirk at his friends' reaction.

"Weeell..." Ucchi adopted a defiant stance, hands behind his back, eyes intently on them.

"I'll prove it to ya."

And as if having been slapped square in the face, Shin's smirk faded. He sat up abruptly.

Ucchi continued his train of thought. "If you're so worried about Tsuruta, we can just keep an eye out for him and if he comes we'll give you a signal."

Waggling his eyebrows, he said "Eh? Eh? Whaddaya think? Whaddaya think?" A self-satisfied grin graced his face as he continued, "This one is fool proof!" He stretched his hands in front of his face, figuratively admiring said plan.

Three pairs of eyes looked at Shin followed close behind by a fourth pair.

He really couldn't say that it was such a bad idea. It wasn't like Minami was trying to take advantage of Tsuruta's sister. And though it was true that Tsuruta had mellowed out a bit, Shin was not too sure about how mellow Tsuruta would be where his sister was concerned. Thus, keeping a respectful distance from him when approaching his sister was wise.

If Ucchi wanted to try to get those two together then so be it.

He looked at his friends. Three boys waited expectantly on his every sigh while Ucchi's eyes silently pled for Shin's approval.

Shin couldn't believe what he was about to do. Letting a groan escape his lips, he shrugged.

"You guys do what you want." He waved a hand at them dismissively.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement but that was as good a go ahead as they were going to get from the red-headed one.

"So, what's the signal?"

Ucchi thought for five seconds before saying, "Coo-Coo-Kachoo".

"What kind of a signal is that?" Noda managed to ask before noticing Shin move.

"Aw shut up and just do what I say." Ucchi complained.

Shin had had enough of this particular conversation and unceremoniously stood up.

"I'm gone. Later." He said as he slung his schoolbag over his shoulder and put the other hand in his pant pocket.

"Fine, fine!" Kuma, half annoyed, quickly agreed with Ucchi's plan. He turned around and called out after the red-haired one. "Hold on Shin-chan! I'll come with." He said as he huffed and puffed towards his friend.

"Great!" Ucchi clasped his hands together before sprinting towards Shin and Kuma. "Wait for me!" He called out.

Minami had lagged behind. He was still watching the girl by the gate.

A smile bloomed on her lips as she saw her brother approaching.

Minami couldn't help but smile himself as he daydreamed of possibilities.

"C'mon lover boy!" Noda put a friendly arm around Minami's shoulder and guided him out of the rooftop to try to catch up with the other three.

-o-

Now the problem begins when trying to make that very first move.

This is where the whole 'Jimmy asked Timmy to ask John to ask Lucy, who is Mary's best friend, if Mary is interested in Jimmy'. Which turns to bartering as each try to get the other to admit it FIRST (in a like-like sort of way, of course). All because Mary instructed Lucy to tell John that she (Mary) is interested in Jimmy ONLY AFTER John admitted Jimmy is interested FIRST. And in a sick, twisted, God-must-be-laughing sort of way, Jimmy gave similar instructions to John. Definitely not the pinnacle of human evolution there but when you are still trying to understand social interactions, that is the best you can do to guard yourself.

Once you realize that you have to put yourself on the line of fire (so to speak) for any progress to be made, then the approach changes. On the shier ones, that first move is triggered (mostly) by a good amount of alcohol or by a series of encouraging shoves from well-meaning (if not sometimes misguided) friends.

Two days after the plan was forged, at the end of the school day, several yards from the school front gate...

"What are ya waiting for, Minami?" Noda gave him a little push.

"Don't know." Minami hesitated, looking from left to right as if at any moment Tsuruta would jump out from a bush.

"I'm telling ya Tsuruta's as sweet as honey. Don't worry so much." Ucchi pushed the reluctant Minami in the direction of the front gate. "I'll keep an eye out for him" Leaning towards Noda and Kuma, he whispers "You guys make sure Minami talks to Asami-san." Directing his attention back to Minami, he grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

Noda and Kuma crouched down behind a bush to watch Minami and make sure he actually talked to the girl while Ucchi, a few yards away, acted as the lookout.

As Minami approached the young woman, he kept trying to come up with topics of conversation. The problem was that the only thing he could come up with was 'Hi'. He supposes it is a good place to start as any but then what?

What's your name?

He rehearsed while walking.

Nah... too forward.

He scratched the back of his head.

I've seen you around.

He stopped his approach for a second then rolled his eyes.

Nope, he'd sound like a stalker if he said that.

He resumed walking at a ridiculously slow pace.

Nice weather we're having.

He closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side.

Lame. Really, really lame.

He paused for another second.

What's a good looking girl like you doing 'round here?

He slapped his forehead, repeatedly, with the palms of his hands.

Ugh! Utterly cheesy, royally stupid and totally pathetic. Did he mention stupid? Yep. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

He kept on slapping his forehead as he resumed his approach to the school gate.

...with Noda and Kuma

"He doesn't seem to be doing well at all." Noda whispered. He was referring to the fact that Minami had not stopped slapping his forehead once he reached the school gate and poor Asami-san had witnessed his self-assault. This, of course, caused her to try to surreptitiously edge away from Minami.

"For the love of all that is sacred, why doesn't he stop slapping himself?!" Kuma whispered a bit aggravated.

As if having heard Kuma, Minami (thankfully) stopped but what followed was a series of stolen glances by a fidgetting Minami and an uneasy Asami-san who kept a nervous eye out for her brother.

"Asami-san looks like she's about to bolt." Noda shifted positions.

"Hey!" Kuma elbowed Noda to move to the side to give him more room behind the bush.

"Geez, sorry!" Noda shifted positions again making the bush shake in the process. For a minute or two, both of them remained still, hoping that the shaking bush would not attract any attention. Once the bush's shaking subsided, they directed their attention back to Minami and the girl.

"Hmm... What the hell are ya doin' Minami?! Talk to her!" Noda hissed under his breath.

"D'ya think we should do something? We're supposed to make sure he talks to Asami-san." Kuma looked at them. "He clearly ain't talking."

"And what are we gonna do? Throw rocks at him?" Noda asked sarcastically.

"Don't be stupid. Not rocks... pebbles." He picked up three small pebbles from the ground and was about to fling them at Minami when Noda stopped him.

"What are you doing? You might hit Asami-san!" Noda swatted the pebbles from Kuma's hand.

"I don't think I can watch, Kuma." Noda turned around to face away from the scene, making the bush sway from side to side. "Tell me when it's over... or at least when Minami does something other than look at the ground or stare at her from the corner of his eyes."

A few silent minutes passed before Kuma gasped in surprise.

"He's actually talking to her!" Kuma grabbed Noda by the arm and shook him to get his attention. "Man, he's got balls." Noda turned around slowly to prevent from shaking the bush too much.

"Yep," Noda whispered shaking his head up and down as he looked at the two. He added as an afterthought, "Tsuruta's gonna kill 'im".

"What did I tell ya? Fool proof, guys! Fool proof!" Ucchi said smugly as he put an arm on each of his friends' shoulders.

"Hey, hold on a second. If you are here and we are here and Minami is there..." Noda paused and with a very confused expression on his face added, "Who's keeping an eye out for Tsuruta?"

The three boys looked at each other, panic slowly settling in. Of course, who should show up at this precise moment but none other than Tsuruta himself (coincidentally a few steps behind Shin) making their panic increase exponentially with each approaching step.

So, Ucchi jumped out of the bush like the proverbial headless chicken, flailing arms over his head as he tried to scream (at the top of his lungs) the agreed upon signal.

Of course, having been taken by surprise, it was understandable that he forgot what the signal was. All he could remember was that there were a lot of o's. So, there he was running in circles, his legs spread out like a monkey, arms flailing about while he screamed...

"Ooga Booga! Ooga Booga! Ooga Booga!"

Shin and Tsuruta stopped on their tracks at the sight before them, so did a few onlookers. Slightly concerned, they wondered what was Ucchi's problem.

A nearby bush shook and a chubby hand emerged from within the bush to slightly part its branches. Shin blanched. He just knew that the chubby hand had to belong to Kuma who, in hushed tones, said...

"Psst... Psst... Coo-Coo-Kachoo... Coo-Coo-Kachoo" like the director in a damn school play trying to remind the students their forgotten lines.

Of course, Ucchi's 'Ooga Boogas' were so loud that he couldn't hear Kuma feeding him the correct signal so it was up to Noda to say it a bit louder while still keeping it hushed,

"Coo-Coo-Kachoo!... Coo-Coo-Kachoo!"

The forgotten signal was heard by Ucchi a bit too late, seeing as Tsuruta had grabbed him by the shoulders to stop his manic stampede. Ucchi silently cursed.

He smiled weakly and said "Coo-Coo-Kachoo?" in a last ditch attempt to warn Minami.

"Coo-Coo-Kachoo!" He repeated. His eyes darted from left to right not really knowing what else to do and really hoping that Tsuruta had not gone back to his old self.

Tsuruta released him, sending a wave of relief through Ucchi's body. Ucchi patted himself down as if trying to assess if he was all there and in working order. Within this self-assessment, he became vaguely aware of Tsuruta asking Shin a question.

"What's wrong with your friend?"

"He's an idiot" Shin grumbled but Tsuruta didn't hear it.

"What?" Tsuruta asked slightly concerned.

"Nothing. He's fine... a bit on the weird side but fine." Shin grabbed Ucchi by the collar and shook him a little. "See?"

"If you say so, but I think he needs to go to the nurse's office." Tsuruta said a bit concerned but left him in Shin's hands (literally).

With Ucchi's collar still firmly clutched in one hand, Shin pinched the bridge of his nose with the other and sighed.

"Where's Minami?" He asked. Ucchi's hand, as well as two hands coming out of a nearby bush, pointed towards the gate.

Minami, having heard the commotion, had shyly stepped back (though not before Tsuruta saw him). Giving Minami a wary look, he started leaving with his sister. Asami-san had taken a few steps before she turned around and politely bid Minami good-bye.

-o-

Things get complicated once that first move is made (regardless of how successful or lame it turned out). The reason being that understanding the opposite sex is crucial at this point, specifically trying to decipher the subtle signs of attraction (if any) given by the opposite sex. And though this search for understanding has always been the source of many a conversation, men (and women) tend to seek advice on this particular subject matter from members of their own sex as if trying to decipher an ancient language or more to the point an encrypted message by the enemy. Of course, this leads to frustrating anecdotes and personal jokes with the advicee and adviser half drunk, cementing a quagmire of misinformation as to what the opposite sex is really saying. The blind leading the blind... some might say. It would be more pathetic if it wasn't so puzzling and comical.

Now, this decryption phenomenon has three basic stages -though at times they overlap- with alcohol and emotional state of mind adding sub-stages to the three basic ones (but we won't worry about those in this particular story).

Stage one: Overanalyzing the event.

A few seconds after Asami-san waved good-bye...

"Guys! Didcha see that?" Minami asked nervously, half-worried half-gleeful.

"Uh-huh" Three boys agreed while the red-haired one just watched them. This did not give Minami any indication of what his friends' thought. Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing? What was it?

"Whaddaya guys think that meant?" Minami asked his friends hoping they would reassure him.

"Didcha see the way she moved her lips when she said good-bye?" asked Kuma trying to decipher what she meant.

"Yeah, and she lowered her eyes a little bit" said Ucchi analyzing every move.

"Yep." Minami started pacing around while he scratched his head. He was beginning to get nervous. "What does it mean?" Minami asked again.

"She was clutching her school bag pretty stiffly." Kuma recalled frowning.

"So, does it mean she likes me?" Minami was getting anxious by the minute.

"I don't know, earlier she was about to run away from him..." Noda added his two cents to the conversation.

"Yeah, but that's because Minami was being an idiot. Really? Who goes around slapping their forehead when they're about to talk to a girl?!" Kuma slapped the back of Minami's head.

Minami's mood lowered.

"And she had this nervous look on her face?" Noda added though Minami was still wondering if it was out of shyness or rejection.

"Yes, but does it mean she likes me?" He grabbed Noda by the shoulders and shook him.

"But let's not forget she stayed." Ucchi tried looking for the good in it.

"Maybe she only stayed because she was waiting for her brother." Yankumi, who had seen the whole 'Coo-Coo-Kachoo' incident (even before the Ooga Boogas started) asked though no one noticed it was her except for Shin.

Stage 2: Defending one's fragile ego by form of gross generalizations with a side of ignoring sensible advice

"Ah, but she did stop to wave at you." Ucchi completely ignored the previous statement.

"...and her hand was not totally open when she waved..." Noda did the best rendition of Asami-san shyly waving.

"There's no doubt about it. She's shy and she likes you." came Ucchi's quick (though mistaken) conclusion.

Really, Shin wanted to laugh. He would have too if Minami didn't have this goofy expression on his face. His thoughts were interrupted by a woman's voice.

"It looked more like a polite goodbye. You know? It's a sign of good manners." Four of the boys pondered for a few seconds while the red-haired one studied the teacher.

"Well, she did talk to me." Minami retorted watching longingly the path Asami-san had taken as if she had left an imprint in the air that only he could detect.

"Great! Everyone knows girls don't talk to you unless they like you." Ucchi explained.

Amidst 'oohs and aahs' coming from three boys, a soft snicker was heard.

Really it had taken all the strength Shin had to not laugh when he heard Minami's defense which is the reason why when he heard the soft snicker he thought it had come from him. One look to his left showed the source of the snicker had been Yamaguchi.

"What did she say?" She managed to suppress the laugh threatening to emerge.

"Hi. You're in my brother's class." Minami raised his voice high trying to imitate Asami-san's very feminine voice.

Yankumi thought he was kidding. Certainly, no one in their right mind would confuse someone being friendly and polite with actual interest. Her disbelief turned to mild amusement as she concluded that they really were still just children.

She looked at the five boys. Three of them were congratulating Minami while (on her right) Sawada was purposely ignoring the conversation.

"Ooh, she knew you were in Tsuruta's class!" Kuma said throughly convinced Asami-san like-liked his friend.

She shook her head as one would to a child saying the most curious thing.

"And what didcha say?" Noda asked.

"Yeeep." Minami's smile split from ear to ear.

"You mean, all that time and that's all you said?" Noda asked slightly irritated.

"Well, one has to ease into these conversations." Minami tried to explain himself.

"Good, good. You don't want to scare her off." Ucchi was pacing around. "Small victories are good victories." Ucchi grinned.

Shin rolled his eyes. Yankumi couldn't take it anymore. She headed home, doubled over, holding her stomach, trying to hold in her laughter like one tries to hold in one's vomit (and with as much -or as little- success). No one saw her leave, not even Sawada. The last thing she heard was Ucchi saying, "This is what you ought to do-", before she went out of earshot from her students.

-o-

Stage 3: Gross generalizations begets gross generalizations which begets ridiculous conclusions.

A week had passed since the "Coo-Coo-Kachoo" incident and the five boys were currently on the rooftop. Four of the boys sat on the floor, shooting the breeze, while one disinterested boy just lounged on the corner of the rooftop hoping to catch a nap before the following period.

"So, how goes it with Asami-san?" Noda elbowed Minami teasingly.

"I think I'm her boyfriend." Minami whispered as he blushed from the revelation.

"All ready! Wow, you work fast!" Noda and Kuma congratulated Minami. Shin couldn't believe his ears.

"Aw c'mon! You can't just think you are. You either are or you aren't." The only reason why Shin brought it up was because he didn't want his friend deluding himself. "There's no in between on this one, Minami!" He narrowed his eyes at them. "How can you be in a relationship and not know?"

"That's right! You know how girls are! If she finds out that you're not sure, do you know what's gonna happen?!.You're gonna be in da doghouse before getting that first kiss." Kuma mused aloud.

"Well, let's think about it logically. What makes you think you're together?" Ucchi, ever the problem-solver asked.

"I heard her talking to her friend and she was talking about me!" MInami leaned in as if he was telling a secret.

Shin shook his head from side to side. It really takes so little to give his friends hope, especially where the opposite sex was concerned. He sighed.

"Ooooh, that's good." Ucchi said, the other two boys nodded in agreement.

He knew he was going to regret it but he asked, "And?"

"Whaddaya mean 'and?'...?" Ucchi put an arm over Shin's shoulder. Shin scowled at the hand on his shoulder causing Ucchi to promptly remove said hand.

Not one to be deterred so easily, he added "Doncha see, Shin? She's talkin' to other girls 'bout 'im!"

"That means they're together?!" Shin knew he should not ask but a little voice in his head kept saying 'What the hell, you already jumped into this weird conversation, might as well stir the water.'

"Of course!" Kuma was the one replying.

"Everyone knows girls don't talk to girls about some guy unless there is something going on." Noda added, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

His friends congratulated Minami on his first girlfriend... they think.

"At the very least, it's sending a clear signal that he-" Noda pointed at Minami who at this point was sporting a smug grin "-is off limits to anyone else."

Shin had to sit up at the absurdity of their logic. "Sounds like you're just hoping. You can't just wish until it's true." Condescendingly, he added "Person A needs to ask person B and person B needs to agree before they are in a relationship."

"Nobody said nothing about wishing. You have to understand the subtle way women talk. See? I understand women." Ucchi jabbed his chest with his thumb.

"You do." It was more of a question than a statement, with a whiff of sarcasm which was lost on Ucchi.

"Sure!" Ucchi said without a hint of a doubt.

"You just don't know these things 'cause you're not that good with women." Noda said remembering Shin's expression when he was on that date with that girl.

"What!?"

"That's right, Shin. That's why we try to help you with Yankumi." Ucchi added quickly.

"I really don't need your help."

"It's sad really when people are in obvious need but they don't accept help." Shin rolled his eyes and tried to ignore them. He was gonna strangle that little voice in his head once this conversation was over.

"Well, that's why we're here. We'll save him from himself!" Shin's eye was beginning to twitch.

"You know I can hear you." Shin said threateningly.

"Of course, you can! Nobody said you were deaf." Ucchi said surprised.

Shin slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand before letting it slowly slide down his face. He decided, for the sake of his sanity, he needed to leave, NOW.

As he was about to open the door, it opened to reveal Yamaguchi.

"Ohayo, Sawada!" She eyed him. Noticing his mood, she briefly eyed his friends before returning her gaze towards Sawada. "What's going on?"

With a last glance at his 4 friends, he muttered, "You don't wanna know." Without thinking, he placed one hand on the small of her back and the other one on her elbow to guide her out of the rooftop.

She let herself be led, not before she took one last glance at the four boys left on the rooftop.

The hand on the the small of Yankumi's back did not go unnoticed by the four but it was when Yankumi leaned into Shin-chan that a sepulchral silence descended on the rooftop. The four nonplussed boys watched as Yankumi whispered into Shin-chan's ear. Though only Kuma saw Shin-chan involuntarily shiver as Yankumi's lips got threateningly close to the sensitive cartilage that was his ear. Surprisingly enough, he had enough self-control to lean in and whisper a response to whatever she had whispered, leaving the four boys on the rooftop looking at each other as the door slowly closed behind the couple.

It was Kuma who finally broke the silence.

"Hmm. Maybe he knows something and he's holding back on us." He whispered. The other three, mouths agape, nodded in agreement.

And there you have it, three stages to a whole lot of confusion.

A/N:

1) This chapter was inspired by real conversations I had with some male friends about the women they liked. Sad, I know. I won't go into details on it. Suffice it to say that they whined about what signal these women were giving them, disregarded my opinion because it wasn't what they wanted to hear, then made gross generalizations about what/how women think. Needless to say I spent most of the time trying not to laugh (though I did laugh... just a little... well... O.K., maybe a bit more than just a little).

2) I thought it was funny to have the count. You know? Three of them, two of the boys, four pairs of eyes... I hope it wasn't too confusing.

3) Carpe diem - Latin for 'Seize the day'.