Momentum

by Children of the Shadows

An epic tale of Remus and Sirius's lives, starting from the very beginning. A love that carries on through trials, tribulations, and war. R/S

40. Through The Glass

January, 1981…

Elphias didn't believe in miracles; he believed in fate. He believed that everything in this world happened for a reason and nothing came out of coincidence. Which is why, when Remus had come to his rescue on a cold January night when he was being beaten within an inch of his life, he thanked whoever it was up there who wrote their fates because no one could ask for a better saviour.

'Remy!' Elphias cried, receiving another punch in the stomach for his struggles. Two of the muggle boys were pinning him against Queen's walls, while the other took the pleasure of hitting him wherever possible. 'Remy!'

'Shut up, you little bastard!' The hold on one of his hands tightened so painfully Elphias was sure his circulation had been cut off. He struggled, but it was ridiculous to do so. The boys outnumbered him; to add on to his misery, while Elphias was a top notch dueler, he had no physical strength so to speak. The streets he'd lived in all his life were chiefly magical and hardly anyone ever resorted to fist fights.

Elphias didn't understand what he'd done to these boys to deserve this; they seemed to be angered just by his presence. They'd caught him by surprise when exiting from the club, bashing him against the wall and causing his wand to fall out of his back pocket before he could reach for it. It lay now, not too far from their feet, in danger of being stomped into pieces.

'Elf, is that you? Elphias?' Remus called out, and Elphias knew that the boys had backed him so far into the alley that it was hard for anyone to see anything from outside. 'Oi! Leave him alone!'

The boys took their attention off of Elphias momentarily as Remus's footsteps grew louder and more hurried. His wand was lit to a minimum, making part of his face fall into shadow while the rest glowed eerily. He looked beautiful and somehow incredibly dangerous, at the same time, the hard angles of his face looking sharp and fierce.

'What do you think you're doing?' Remus asked, arms crossed calmly, but eyes glowing brightly in the dark.

'Back off, mate,' one of the boys warned, 'this isn't any of your business!'

Remus advanced closer, and Elphias noticed with confusion that he was slowly dimming his wand. He must have realised they were muggles, because he was discretely pocketing his wand into his jacket, hand still firmly holding it. 'Look, let him go, and no one gets hurt.'

The boys laughed. 'You hear that, Ben? Jesus, I'm scared now!' One of them cried mockingly. 'We got ourselves a two man army here: some scrawny bastard and his little shirt lifting dwarf!'

Elphias looked at Remus desperately through his swollen, beaten eyes, and Remus nodded at him in acknowledgement but said nothing. He was as infuriatingly calm as ever, moving closer to the small gang of boys tactfully as they laughed amongst themselves.

'The fairy boy's mine though,' the one called Ben said once their laughter had reduced to chuckles. He brought his face uncomfortably close to Elphias's and Elf had to turn away from the putrid stench of alcohol. 'He likes it up his arse, doesn't he, the little cocksucker.'

It was when a hand slid down the front of his trousers that Elphias couldn't control his tears of helplessness any longer and let them fall. It didn't last long, however, because he heard an enraged yell from the other side and promptly felt himself crumple to the dirty ground. The hands on him had left, and Elphias, through the darkness and his puffy eyes, could barely make out Remus's shadow fighting all three of them in a fashion that Elphias could only describe as superhuman. He wondered if this was the display of werewolf strength that people often talked about. What was most terrifying about Remus right then was that he seemed to be enjoying it; as if he'd been waiting to channel his frustration through someone else and was glad for the opportunity to do just that.

Elphias closed his eyes, waiting for everything to be over. A large lump had lodged itself in his throat, and he found himself fighting back tears yet again. He hated it; hated crying like a little child; and as he heard the grunts of pain that came from the fist fight before him, he was glad Remus had decided to forgoe his wand and his sanity. For the first time in his life, Elphias wished those boys would die, that Remus would kill them.

'Are you okay?' Remus's voiced asked from above him. He'd lit his wand again, but Elphias's eyes had swollen so badly, he could hardly make out Remus's face beyond a blur. 'Elf?'

'I'm fine!' Elphias snapped when Remus touched his shoulder. He got up on his feet unsteadily, ignoring the pain that shot up his chest and stomach. 'You don' need to 'elp me with every thin'!'

'Elf-'

'Where's me wand?'

Remus held up what remained of his wand: bits of wood and unicorn hair frayed and barely hanging together.

'Fuck, me wand!' Elphias cried, cursing his voice for breaking like a little child. He swiped at his eyes, feeling ashamed and more vulnerable than he was comfortable with.

'Elphias, it's okay,' Remus tried, but Elphias shrugged himself off angrily.

'No, it's not okay! Tha' wand was me dad's! It was untraceable! I can' get one like tha' in fuckin' London!' Elphias rubbed his face furiously, aggravating the bruises there. 'Fuck, I hate this city!'

'Elphias, hey,' Remus held him by the shoulders gently. 'Hey, it's okay. They're gone. Come on,' he pulled Elphias by the arm slightly, moving him towards the open streets and away from the dark alley. 'Look, I can heal most of your wounds with my wand, and I'll take you home after that. Where do you live?'

Elphias shrugged, feeling tired, and sore, and angry, so angry. 'No place. I lost me job at Mrs. Richards, so I stay on the streets some days and oth'r days at Marlene's.'

'Merlin,' Remus exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. 'What did you do? Shag her daughter?'

Elphias couldn't help but let out a weak laugh as he shook his head. 'Her son.'

'We'll take you to my place then, come on,' Remus offered kindly, pulling Elphias by the arm. 'You're not too hurt, are you? Because it takes a while to disable the wards.'

Elphias shook his head, moving closer to Remus on instinct as he was apparated side-long. He didn't realise until much later, but he was still clutching on to Remus long after they'd apparated and Remus had pulled down the safety wards on the cottage. Remus, for his part, didn't complain about Elphias's more than usual need for affection, but simply kept a hand upon his head for comfort.

'My aunt comes over quite often, so the guest bedroom should be nice and clean. Ignore anything frilly that you might find. She has a strange fascination for things like that,' Remus said idly, as they entered the house.

It was a nice place, Elphias thought, as Remus made him sit on the couch and started on his injuries. Very homely; with a lot of muggle photos hung on the wall, comfortable sofas and a television, a nice wood–brown theme to the entire living room, and tasteful decorations to complement it. Everything was neatly kept and cleaned to a point where you could see your reflection on the most opaque of things. Elphias had never had an actual home of his own, but thought if he did, he wouldn't mind having one like Remus's.

'They your cousins?' Elphias asked, once his vision was clear again. He pointed towards a nearby picture of Remus, another woman, and a child no older than two held between them.

Remus frowned, looked at the picture, and then laughed. 'No, that's me with my parents. You'll meet my mother tomorrow during breakfast probably.'

'Blimey! You look just like your ol' man! I thought 'e was you!' Elphias cried, surprised and intrigued, as he leaned closer to the picture. 'But 'is eyes are blue, innit? And you was blond as a pup, too!'

Remus fingered his long, brown hair consciously. 'They got darker as I grew,' he explained, rolling up Elphias's sleeve and healing the myriad of bruises there. 'My hair turned completely brown by the time I was six or so. It got my mum very upset; she was hoping I'd look like her at least a little.'

'You look sexier as a brunette,' Elphias said as a matter of factly and loved the way Remus's cheeks tinged pink. He took off his shirt as Remus began healing his chest and stomach, a large portion of which had turned a disgusting shade of purple-black. Elphias flinched at the sight of them, but Remus seemed immune, working on them like a professional.

Elphias turned away to continue looking at the pictures that lined the walls. There was one of Remus's friends and him – Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter. They looked good together; happy, but then again, that's what Elphias had always thought about Sirius and Remus.

The first time he'd seen Sirius, Elphias's first impression had been that of a rock star. Sirius had those qualities – the sleek, black hair, smoky and sensuous grey eyes framed with eyelashes so dark they made his eyes look like they'd been lined with kohl. He had that leather jacket and that wicked, wicked motorbike which could even fly. Not to mention, Sirius Black also had the most perfectly angular features that Elphias had seen put together on a man.

The first time he'd seen Remus, Elphias had wanted to fuck him; nothing less, nothing more. He'd already known by then who he was and what he was, and there was nothing more thrilling to Elphias than bedding a werewolf. It helped that Remus had the most radiant smile and kindest eyes to complement it. It made Remus incredibly desirable and Elphias incredibly hard.

The first time Elphias had seen Remus and Sirius together, he knew. He knew mostly because he'd seen them at Queen's once, but passed them off as just another random couple. That memory resurfaced, however, when he'd seen them again in the Order, and he knew that this was more than just a 'desire' thing. There was love amongst the two of them; love that Elphias always thought would last them forever, until today…

'Remy?'

'Yes, Elf?' Remus asked, exasperated with the nickname.

'Would it be rude to ask what 'appened between you an' Mr. Black?' The minute Elphias asked the question, he knew he'd stepped over the line. Remus's body went completely rigid and his face paled. 'I'm sorry,' Elphias said quickly, hating to be the one to upset Remus. 'You're helpin' me out, and all I'm doing is makin' you upset. I shouldn' have-'

'It's all right, Elf,' Remus interrupted, giving him a tight lipped smile. 'Sirius and I weren't getting along too well, so he decided this was the best way.'

Elphias noticed that Remus had said 'he' instead of 'we', but didn't question it. 'Are you upset wit' 'im 'cause of it?'

Remus shook his head, looking slightly miserable and handing back Elphias's t-shirt. 'Sometimes relationships don't work out, Elf. It's nothing uncommon, and we weren't any different.' He stood up, tucking his wand into the seat of his trousers. 'Come on, I'll show you to the guest room. You can stay here until you get a proper job, but don't expect to get away with slacking around, yeah?'

Elphias grabbed Remus's hand, unnecessarily using it as leverage to pick himself off the sofa. 'I'm good at 'ousework. Can wash dishes, an' cook, an' even clean.'

'It will do.'

Elphias grinned and then shifted his feet uneasily. 'Remy, 'bout earlier-'

Remus smiled. 'You're welcome, Elf, but it would be really great if you could let go of my hand now.'

XxxxX

Harry's yells interrupted their conversation and Lily got up, groaning. 'Well, that's the end of nap time.'

Remus caught her by the arm and smiled. 'It's okay. You sit down, I'll get Harry.'

'You're a sweetheart,' Lily said, beaming. 'I'll go prepare his food while you bring him down, yeah?'

Remus nodded, glancing back slightly at Sirius, James, and Peter before making his way up the stairs to Harry's bedroom (that was no longer pink, thank the heavens). Lily watched him for a while before shooting a warning glare at Sirius and leaving for the kitchen. She had a feeling Sirius would follow Remus, being the suspicious git that he was, and was relieved when James placed a calm but restraining hand on the man's arm.

Lily smiled to herself, for that one moment, loving and respecting her husband, as she pulled out a jar of Big Feasts for Little Wizards from the upper cabinets. She sang to herself softly, glancing at the kitchen clock compulsively for no reason.

She didn't know why, but as she prepared Harry's bowl of apple flavoured mush, Lily kept glimpsing at the door to see if Remus had come down yet. An uneasy feeling built up in her stomach when Harry's cries completely stopped, leaving deafening silence and nothing but James and Peter's chit chat to listen to. Lily's grip tightened on the spoon as she willed herself to not move; to not let Sirius and Peter's nonsense get to her.

She spent what felt like hours, unnecessarily stirring Harry's bowl. When there was still no sign of Remus, Lily guiltily went up the stairs, not quite running but her feet moving too fast and frantic to be called walking. Her heart pounding, she stopped at Harry's open door only to find Remus kneeling in front of Harry on the floor. His face was hidden behind his hands, and Harry was watching him with wide eyes, cheeks still tear tracked from all the crying.

'BOO!' Remus cried, and Harry burst into peals of childish laughter, nearly falling over as Remus caught him gently by the wrists.

'Didn't know you played peek-a-boo,' Lily said, feeling sick for having ever thought that Remus could be…

'Me neither,' Remus replied, grinning and picking Harry up. 'Sorry I got you worried.'

Lily shook her head a little too hard, cursing herself again and again. 'I wasn't worried,' she lied, trying to fake a smile. 'I thought I might talk to you while we feed the brat.'

'Do you hear that, Harry?' Remus asked Harry in an exaggerated voice. 'Your mum calls you a brat.'

'Ma!' Harry squealed, giggling, apparently unperturbed at being called a brat.

'He can say 'ma'!' Remus exclaimed, rewarding Harry by flinging him high into the air and catching him again.

'That's not the only thing he can say,' Lily snorted, sitting down on the floor and beckoning Remus to do the same, so that she could feed Harry. 'He picked up a few things from James, too. Here, I'll show you: Harry, Chudley Cannons!'

'Fuck!' Harry replied, elated and bobbing up and down on Remus's lap. 'Fuck!' Lily took his open mouth as opportunity to shove his food in.

Remus's eyebrows shot up. 'He learned to say 'fuck' before 'daddy'? James must be pissed.'

Harry's joyous cries of 'fuck' were muffled by Lily's insistent feeding. 'Not much. He took Harry to practice the same day the Cannons were there. You can imagine.'

Remus laughed, and Harry laughed along with him, not quite understanding the joke but finding glee in Remus's amusement.

Lily watched him for a while, watched him laugh and play with Harry and found it to be strangely empty. It was as if a large part of Remus was missing, like someone had dulled his contours and colours. He was still the same kind, loving Remus, but Lily found that old glint in his eyes fading too quickly.

Lily laid a hand on his softly. 'I never asked, but how have you been? After…'

Remus shrugged, still smiling. 'We're still friends.' He used the bottom of Harry's shirt to wipe the food dribbling down the child's chin. 'That's what matters, right?'

Lily tried to smile back but found it hard to. She tried busying herself with Harry, unnecessarily fussing over him like most mothers do. She wished their lives were as simple as a child's; wished they didn't have the complication of relationships and the war bearing down on them. Mostly, she wished they could be the family they once were not too long ago.

'My mother's ill,' Remus said, breaking the silence. He didn't catch Lily's eyes as he spoke, keeping his focus solely on Harry who had suddenly quieted as if realising a sombre moment. 'They say there's nothing wrong with her, but she looks terrible, Lily. She's weaker than I remember her being.'

Lily stared at him with a mixture of shock and sympathy. 'How-'

'I should have been there for her,' Remus continued miserably, cutting her off. 'I saw this happening a long time ago, since dad died, and I still abandoned her. God, I was so damn selfish…'

'Remus, you're being too hard on yourself. It's not your fault,' Lily protested, grabbing his shoulder tightly and shaking it. Harry nearly slid off his lap from her shaking, and Remus held him still with a firm hand on his side.

Remus moved her hand away gently. 'It's not my fault, but I could have prevented it. I just get up so caught up with myself that I forget the people who really need me. Sirius was-'

'You think Sirius broke up with you because of this?' Lily asked incredulously, not believing the words that were coming out of Remus's mouth; not believing that Remus was actually considering such things.

'Because of something I did. He was furious that day, Lily, furious at me specifically. I'd never seen him that angry.'

Lily took a sharp intake of breath. 'Remus, Sirius was angry becau-'

'I need him, Lily,' Remus said softly, looking out the glass window with sad, solemn eyes. 'I need Sirius's friendship; I don't care about love anymore. And I need my mother, and I know she needs me. I can't live without them, without any of you…'

Lily's words faltered. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell Remus about Sirius and his suspicions. It would break him and the illusion that he kept of them being his support crutches. She tried not to look at him in pity because there was nothing Remus despised more. Instead, she reached up, tucking errant strands of his hair behind his ear and letting her love for him show through. Lily wanted Remus to know that no matter what happened or who said what, she'd always be there for him; that she'd never make the same mistake she'd done only a few minutes ago. Remus, didn't discourage her, but didn't respond to her either.

Fuelled by the morose look on Remus's face and the lack of attention, Harry started crying, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them. Remus looked down at him, smiling and noticing that there wasn't a single tear on his face. Harry was simply throwing a tantrum, scrunching up his eyes and pouting viciously to get the grownups to look at him and play with him.

Lily got up, wiping all the mush that had spilled over her hands with a baby wipe. 'Come on, the others will be waiting for us downstairs. You can carry Harry if you want; he seems to have taken a fancy for you.'

'It's the peek-a-boo,' Remus explained, and to demonstrate the truth behind his hypothesis, he played with Harry again, receiving a giggly and surprisingly tantrum free baby. Surprising because Harry seemed to have inherited Lily's flaring temper.

The minute they'd all settled down in the living room again, James had dragged Lily a little away from the gang without much of an excuse. 'Did you tell him?' he asked her urgently, an unconsciously strong grip on her arm. 'Did you tell him about Sirius?'

Lily shook her head. 'I couldn't. James, it's too difficult. He's-'

'Damn it, Lily!' James shouted, dismayed. He looked back at the others to see if they'd heard him; luckily, they were all too busy with Harry. 'Sirius is up to something,' James said quietly, almost angrily. 'I don't know what it is, and I know he won't tell me, but I can feel it. He's being too nice to Moony.'

Lily looked back at the three Marauders, specifically Sirius who had transformed into a dog and was romping around Harry with his tounge lolling out. She noticed that Sirius kept close to Remus, sometimes brushing his flank against him and more than once, begging Remus to pet him. She would have attributed it to Sirius's Animagus, but realised that he had been staying quite close to Remus ever since they'd sat down to chat. In fact, Sirius had been friendly, had talked and joked around with all of them quite casually, and made every effort to keep things as less awkward and normal as possible. Lily didn't think it was potentially threatening in any way. Actually, she found it very thoughtful of Sirius to try and still keep their friendship intact.

'You're getting paranoid, James,' Lily said, turning back to him.

'I just…I'm scared Moony will get hurt, Lily,' he said softly, his expression momentarily sorrowful before being pulled together again.

'Then don't tell him,' Lily replied, taking his hand in hers. 'It will kill him, James. He thinks the world of Sirius, and it will kill him if he finds out what Sirius thinks of him.'

'But-'

'We wait,' she explained, 'we wait and we protect him, and we let him have at least a little hope. Maybe Sirius really is trying to restore their friendship. Maybe, in Sirius's mind, he thinks that if he does this, Remus will realise that being a Death Eater isn't worth it and come back to him.'

James looked reluctant to agree. 'Maybe…'

XxxxX

Sirius entered, uninvited, when he found the door to the Lupin cottage unlocked and the wards disabled. The living room was empty and not believing his luck, he began to search. He wasn't sure what he was looking for; a white mask maybe; anything that could serve as proof to Remus being a Death Eater. He looked underneath sofa cushions, pulled open the cabinet in the hallway, searched in drawers, making sure nothing fell out of place and keeping a sharp eye towards anything that might be suspicious or have a security spell.

Remus's room. Of course! Sirius cursed himself for wasting so much time in the living room when Remus's room upstairs should have been the target all along. Remus kept everything important in his room, specifically, in the third drawer in his cupboard, locked and secured from most kinds of magic. Remus had told Sirius and the others about it a long time ago, Sirius couldn't quite remember. All he knew was that it was important and no one had been allowed to see it to date.

He made a move to go upstairs to check, when he heard the chink of plates noisily clattering against each other and a few well chosen curse words from the kitchen. Sirius quickly moved away from the stairs, hoping he didn't look too suspicious. He wondered if Remus knew he was in the house and against his better judgment, decided to postpone the search and join Remus. It had been a while since Sirius had seen him anyway and sometimes, Sirius miss-

Sirius found Remus in the kitchen, washing dishes. He remembered how much Remus hated it when they lived together, always making Sirius help him out to get the work done faster. Back then, they would put on the latest records or turn the TV on very loud as they sung to the music blaring across the room. It was a long time ago. Now, Remus seemed quiet, almost lost in his task. For just a nanosecond after Sirius entered though, Remus stopped as if contemplating something, but then simply reached out for more dish soap and resumed back to his work.

Sirius stood there, expecting the werewolf to turn and tell Sirius how he knew he was coming; how Remus had felt him the minute he'd apparated. He should have known better than to expect it; Remus had been doing it less frequently since…he couldn't remember anymore. It was as if Sirius was slowly being erased out of Remus's life and heart.

Not that Sirius cared. He repeated this to himself until he was nearly convinced and tapped Remus on the shoulder.

Remus whipped around, startled. 'Oh, Sirius! You scared me!' He wiped his wet hands on his trousers, leaving long fingerprints to darken the light material. 'What brings you here?'

Sirius shrugged, smiling. 'Can't I come to visit my friend anymore?'

Remus beamed, his amber eyes shining. The same amber eyes that still haunted Sirius's dreams at nights, and left him sometimes feeling sick and other times feeling sticky, and wet, and sick. 'Of course! Why don't you sit down, and I'll make you some tea.'

'No tea, Remus,' Sirius declined, pulling up a chair. 'Maybe a beer or something.' Sirius tried not to hesitate too much when Remus passed by him to the fridge. 'Do you know your wards are down?' The casual way that Remus said 'yes' made Sirius feel distinctly uneasy. Of course, if Remus was a Death Eater, safety was hardly an issue. The wards would be useless.

'I've been researching and experimenting a bit; I was planning to cast new ones just before you came.'

With his back turned, Sirius couldn't tell if Remus was lying or not. 'Where's your mum?' he asked, trying to divert himself with tablecloth patterns and not how Remus smelled like dishwashing soap.

'She took Elf out for a drive and to pick up groceries,' Remus replied. Sirius could hear him rummaging the contents of the fridge distractedly.

Sirius stiffened. 'Elphias? He's still here? It's been almost a month now, hasn't it? He hasn't found a job yet?'

Remus shrugged. 'He has, but it's not enough to pay London rents. He's saving for a place, though, that's what he says anyway.' He brought out two bottles of butterbeer, flipping the caps open with his wand. 'I don't mind much. He's good cook and he keeps mum company. She tires faster when she's alone.'

Sirius suddenly found it very hard to swallow his beer. 'He's still the same, I take?' Sirius asked, remembering Elphias and his outrageous and promiscuous ways.

Remus chuckled. 'Obnoxious as ever.'

'I see.'

'How's your work then?' Remus inquired before gulping down the remains of his butterbeer. 'Any progress with the Death Eater search?'

Sirius wondered if it really was a purely casual question. 'It's fine,' he replied, shrugging and tilting the bottle to his mouth. 'It's hard work, but it's doing something.'

'Moody still has you guys on module missions?'

Sirius felt Remus was being unusually intrusive regarding his job and stuttered for a while, not sure what would be the right thing to say without revealing anything.

'Sirius?'

It was becoming slowly impossible for Sirius's mind to talk to Remus without getting paranoid or suspicious. He didn't know if there were any underlying meanings behind Remus's words; didn't know why everything Remus said was starting to sound awry and wrong. Was it Sirius's paranoia acting up or Remus trying to pry information out of him?

So, Sirius decided the best way to avoid answering was to leave before he said something important. 'Look, I promised James I'd stop by to watch the team practice for the finals,' he lied, getting up and not catching Remus's eyes. 'I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer, but I'll see you around, yeah?'

'Perhaps,' Remus conceded, walking Sirius to the front door. 'I might not make it to the next Order meeting…'

Sirius stopped just outside the door, his brows rising in question. 'No?'

Remus shook his head, leaning against the door frame. 'Full moon falls the day before.'

Sirius suddenly found it hard to take his eyes off the ground. He stared at his shoes for a while, wondering if they needed a polish, and if he was to offer to accompany Remus as Padfoot. 'Are the others coming?'

'I asked them not to. The garage is sealed tight and I put an additional thin coat of aconite on the door. It should keep me inside.'

Sirius felt his heart seize and unconsciously, his hand came up to brush against Remus, his fingers softly tracing the protruding veins on Remus's hand. He didn't realise what he was doing until he saw Remus's eyes widen in surprise, and Sirius immediately took his hand away, looking fixedly sideways. 'Goodbye, Remus,' he said softly, feeling his heart pound painfully, unwanted, too loud, and too fast.

'Sirius, wait!' Remus called, grabbing Sirius by the wrist to stop him. Sirius was sure his chest was going to explode at the contact. Remus bit his lip, his grip on Sirius hesitating but not loosening. 'Look, I know that I fucked things up a lot for us. I-I did everything wrong, and I know you're still…I just-'

Sirius wondered if Remus was going to apologise or maybe admit to something. He wondered if Remus was ever going to let go of his hand, because the sick feeling in his stomach was growing and his defences were falling. It was like a replay of the exact same feelings he'd had when he'd been on the verge of leaving Grimmauld Place; compassion towards people who needed none and hatred towards himself for feeling it.

'Maybe later,' Remus continued, having grasped a continuous stream of thought. 'Maybe, we could be the way we were…together?'

Sirius wasn't sure whether to laugh or to scream, but judging the colour draining from Remus's face, he must have done the former. 'I don't think, Remus,' Sirius said slowly, prying his hand away from Remus's grip, 'that there is anything left to salvage from our relationship.' He looked away to stop his insides from screaming, and twisting, and pleading. 'Good day.'

XxxxX

'So Elphias, you never told me what brought you to London to war in the first place?' Delilah Lupin said as they walked out of the muggle supermarket, arms full of groceries.

Elphias liked living in Remus's house. It was homely, and Mrs. Lupin was the sweetest and most intelligent woman he'd ever met, even though she tended to get lost in her head often. The Lupin cottage was in a muggle suburban area, so there was very little magic going around and one always had to be careful with one's wand. Still, it was quiet, peaceful, and friendly much like Elphias's own home back in Stepney. It was better than London anyway.

'Dumbledore asked me if I wan'ed to figh',' Elphias answered, helping Mrs. Lupin stash the groceries into the trunk. 'I said I 'ad nothin' better to do, so I migh' as well.'

Mrs. Lupin laughed. 'So, this isn't a favour to him then?'

''S a mighty big favour if it is. Why'd you ask?'

She shrugged, moving into the front seat. 'Dumbledore knows his chess. Don't get me wrong, I think he's a wonderful man, but most of the people in the Order join because he's done something for them, and they feel indebted.'

Elphias raised an eyebrow as he tugged at his seatbelt. 'Is tha' why you think Remy's fightin'?'

Mrs. Lupin smiled sadly. 'I used to. Now, I'm not so sure.'

'How'd you mean?'

Mrs. Lupin played with the ignition for a while before starting to back out of the parking lot. 'Do you know that the day after Remus came into the house, he started taking charge of things? He fixed the roof, repainted the house, changed the plumbing, cleaned all the rooms, and redid the garage; without magic, mind you. And he also does chores for the neighbours on the days he's not busy with something Dumbledore's asked him to do.'

Elphias scratched his head, confused. 'I don' get it.'

Mrs. Lupin sighed heavily. 'As a child, there was nothing Remus hated more than doing his chores. Getting him to just do his bed involved a wrestling match and a four hour punishment. Do you see?'

Elphias scrunched up his face in thought. Either he was increasingly stupid, or Mrs. Lupin was talking in cryptic. 'E's learnt his lesson after nineteen years?'

Mrs. Lupin rolled her eyes. 'What I'm trying to show you is that Remus is overworking himself on purpose. He does these missions and all these chores not because he wants to, but because he feels he needs to.'

Elphias was now as confused as ever. Remus had mentioned that his mother was a muggle healer of sorts; perhaps that's why what she was saying sounded so complicated and foreign to him? 'Why would 'e do somethin' like tha'?'

Mrs. Lupin shrugged, taking a right turn that brought them in plain view of the Lupin cottage. 'John, Remus's dad used to do it sometimes; to tire himself out; to stop thinking; to forget…'

'Abou' Mr. Black, you mean?' Elphias asked, finally catching on. What Mrs. Lupin was telling him made more sense now that he'd thought about it. Remus did seem to work himself to death lately, and Elphias could often hear him switching off the lights and turning to bed at odd hours of the night. In fact, Elphias didn't remember the last time Remus had even spent time talking to either of them.

'I don't have the heart to blame Sirius,' Mrs. Lupin replied wearily. 'He's a nice boy with a good heart, and things like this happen all the time in every relationship.'

She absent mindedly parked the car on the street, a few blocks away from the house, and Elphias wondered if he should point it out. He figured it was best not to interrupt Mrs. Lupin's conversation and would remind Remus later to move it to the garage.

'I'm his mother though, you see,' Mrs. Lupin said, smiling as she unlocked the trunk. 'I can't help but take sides.'

Elphias didn't have anything to say to that, so he kept quiet, making sure that Mrs. Lupin locked the car doors properly and that all the grocery bags had been taken out. As they walked, both he and Delilah Lupin seemed to be lost in their own thoughts until Elphias spotted Remus crouched behind the fence, mouthing silently to himself through a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

'What in God;s name is Remus doing?' Delilah asked, having noticed as well.

''E looks rather constipated. D'you think tha's the problem?' Elphias asked as he smiled cheerfully and walked in. 'Hey, Remy!'

Remus's head whipped around in surprise to look at them, and his nose started bleeding almost immediately. Elphias hurried towards him. 'Shite, you o'right?'

Remus tilted his head upwards, swatting Elphias's concerned hands away. 'I'm fine. Just broke my concentration.' Elphias noted that he was sweating profusely as well, given that it was February.

Mrs. Lupin caught up with the two of them not long after, handkerchief out and ready to mop Remus's nose. 'Remus John Lupin, put that cigarette out this minute! You know how much I hate them,' she said sternly, standing on her tip toes and only being able to reach high enough to wipe his chin.

Remus let the cigarette in his mouth drop, and Elphias stubbed it out for him with his shoe. 'It's okay, mum. It's stopped,' he insisted as she continued to fuss over him. He brought his head back down again and used her handkerchief to wipe his nose. 'I'm fine. How was your trip?' Remus asked, taking the grocery bags from his mother.

'It was brilliant!' Elphias replied enthusiastically as they walked into the house. 'I's ne'er been in a car before, and Mrs. Lupin's a great driver! And there was these really lovely ladies in the market who offered to 'elp us find all our thin's and gave us free samples…'

'The store manager asked me to keep a leash on my son,' Mrs. Lupin supplied, making Elphias grin cheekily and Remus roll his eyes in exasperation. 'I've lived in this town for over fourteen years and those store girls have never so much as looked at me.'

'Merlin, is there anyone you haven't flirted with, Elf?' Remus asked, chuckling in amusement as he put the carrier bags on the kitchen counter. 'Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't started on mum yet.'

'I haven'?' Elphias cried in mock outrage. He slid to his knees, taking Mrs. Lupin's hand and kissing it. 'Delilah, me love…'

Remus whacked him on the head, but Mrs. Lupin laughed in the sort of way that told Elphias that she found him endearing. 'Get up and make lunch, you sod. Mum, you look tired. Why don't you take a nap, and I'll wake you later, okay?' Remus's tone quickly shifted from amusement to concern as he looked at Mrs. Lupin. Elphias hadn't seen it before, but Remus's eyes were very red, as if he hadn't slept for years or had spent the last hour crying.

Mrs. Lupin yawned lightly and nodded, giving Elphias a loving pat on the head and walking out of the kitchen with Remus.

'I like that boy,' Elphias heard Mrs. Lupin say as the door swung shut and felt his heart swell. 'You should date him.'

'Mum!'

Elphias chuckled and leaned closer to the door to hear better. He knew he was supposed to get started on preparing lunch, but he was a curious boy by nature and even more so when he was involved in someone else's conversation. He didn't care much about manners against eavesdropping. His father never thought him any and he wanted to hear Remus's reply.

'I'm not dating Elf!'

Elphias pouted, a little disgruntled at being rejected so brashly. He found that he wouldn't mind dating Remus too much. Remus was kind, sweet, bloody sexy, and Elphias liked to make him smile because Remus didn't do it much ever since he'd broken up with Sirius.

Elphias heard Mrs. Lupin huff. 'You're not dating Elphias, I know. That's why I said you should. He's such a sweetheart, and he helps around the house. God knows you need it.'

'I don't need any help; I'm fine.'

'Remus, it would be good for you to just let go once in a while. I know that after Sirius you're-'

'Please don't psychoanalyse me, mum,' Remus's voice sounded tight, as if barely controlling his emotions, 'you know I hate it. Sirius and I-'

Elphias found it hard to make out the rest of the conversation as Remus and Mrs. Lupin got too far away from the door. By the time Remus finally came back, Elphias had already had the stew on boil and was meticulously cleaning the countertop.

'You migh' hafta move the car later. She parked it wrong,' Elphias said casually, scrubbing at a particularly nasty and unidentifiable spot.

Remus sighed heavily and nodded, flopping down into one of the chairs. Elphias sat down beside him carefully, trying to look at Remus's face that hid behind his hands. Elphias brought his chair closer so that his shoulder touched Remus's as a sign of comfort.

'I found a wand for you, Elf,' Remus said from between his fingers. 'I talked to Aunt Nash, and she found this old lady's wand. The woman's dead, so it's no longer registered and it's a close match to your old one.'

'Really?' Elphias asked surprised. He hadn't really expected Remus to find one for him so soon. In fact, he'd been planning to floo one of his friends to get one. 'I…wow! Ta, Remy.'

'Hm, but the wand's not for free,' Remus continued.

'Oh, I-I have money to-'

'I want you to live here, Elf,' Remus cut off, looking up. Elphias found himself, for the first time in his entire life, speechless. 'I'll be taking up missions again soon, ones where I'll have to travel, and I need you to take care of my mother. She likes you, and you seem to be doing it anyway, even though you don't know it.' Remus smiled, resting his chin on his hand. 'What do you say?'

Elphias's face slowly split into a wide grin. 'Hell yeah!' he cried, kissing Remus on the cheek sloppily, before dashing up the stairs to tell Mrs. Lupin the good news.

XxxxX

Sirius kept his eyes tightly shut as he pounded into the foreign body held tight up against the lavatory wall of Queen's, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead and tasting bitter against his lips.

It was easy to forget Remus here; forget everything within the dizzying haze of alcohol, and smoke, and sex. Sirius tried to lose himself in this unknown face, this unknown body; he tried to tell himself that it didn't matter if Remus was Sirius's first and the only one he'd ever slept with; that it didn't matter if Sirius still had feelings for him; that it didn't matter that the act itself made Sirius sick to the stomach.

It didn't matter anymore because he wasn't cheating on Remus.

It was over between the two of them, and Sirius could damn well fuck whoever he wanted to.

It had been so easy. So easy to just say yes when another man had slid into the seat beside Sirius and offered to buy him drinks. It had been even easier to give in to the hand settled on his arse and another roaming up his shirt, as they danced together, too close and too fluid.

Sirius was sure there had been a name mentioned in between, but he didn't really care as he pushed the bloke into the nearest cubicle and proceeded to get what he needed. He hadn't bothered to take off any clothes more than necessary, didn't need to because there was nothing desirable about the man and everything fuckable about him.

There were sharp nails dragging painfully down Sirius's back, teeth biting down hard into his shoulder, legs squeezing hard enough to crack ribs; and Sirius was reminded again how different it was with Remus. How it had always been about each other; even back when they were fighting, sex had been used for apologies and feelings that were too deep and complex to be expressed in words. Sex between them had never been a tool.

'Fuck, you're hot,' the man beneath him cried, his voice throaty and rough and wrong, so Sirius put a hand over his mouth, growling 'shut up' as he continued to thrust into him, uncaring and unfeeling.

Sirius tried not to compare, tried to forget how Remus felt inside him, around him, against him, over him. He tried to forget how Remus would be passionate and aggressive, but still hold Sirius's hand as they made love; how they would always cling onto each other as they came, lips meeting in frenzy.

Sirius pushed the man further up the wall as he edged upon his orgasm. His head was pounding now, and he forcefully shut the images of honey brown hair and scars across shoulders as he came, spilling into the body beneath him. He tried not to look at the man against him, tried to tell himself that this whole incident had nothing to do with the eyes that lay behind this man's closed eyelids because those eyes might have been almost amber-gold, but weren't.

And even as he told himself this again and again, Sirius had to bite his lips hard enough to draw blood to stop from calling out that one name that kept resonating in his heart.

Sirius hadn't even bothered with the man after that, pushing him away and doing up his trousers and belt. Any attempts to conversation were duly ignored, as Sirius calmly walked out of the lavatory and then the bar. It would have been easier to apparate, Sirius knew, but it didn't stop him from walking. He didn't know how long he walked, hoping the fresh air would cure his upset stomach. It didn't, nor did it wash away the strong smell of cigarettes he had smoked all night. He didn't even like smoking that much, but the smell at that time had been familiar and comforting.

When Sirius finally stopped, it was nearly midnight and he still hadn't reached home. He didn't know if he was even close and his feet were starting to hurt and his calf muscles starting to protest. So he collapsed into a nearby bench, not wanting to look at the cold, damp grass, but not wanting to look up at the bright full moon over him either. It was how he'd ended up closing his eyes and then, finally falling asleep in the middle of the park.

Sirius woke up the next morning when an old, muggle woman sat beside his head to feed the noisy birds.

XxxxX

Dumbledore looked at Remus contemplatively through his half moon glasses, leaving Remus feeling very uncomfortable in his seat. 'Remus, my boy, are you sure you want to do this?'

'I'm sure,' Remus said, trying hard not to flinch under Dumbledore's piercing gaze. He wished the man would look away from him and stop trying to read into all his secrets. 'I understand that this is the last of the clans, and it doesn't seem right to leave my purpose in this Order incomplete.'

Dumbledore rested his chin on his folded fingers. 'You understand that it will be dangerous, life threatening even?'

Remus looked down at his lap. 'Yes.'

'We've already gotten a substantial following, you realise,' Dumbledore continued, his blue eyes shining mysteriously. 'They don't join us because of their hatred for the Ministry, but the werewolves are fighting back, Remus. They're fighting because they know that if Voldemort wins, he will kill them, too.'

'I need to go, Professor,' Remus said slowly, still not daring to look up at Dumbledore. 'I need to make sure that I've done everything possible for this war. I need to…' He trailed off, unable to find words to express his feelings; to tell Dumbledore in not so many words that he needed this mission to feel as if he was doing something worthwhile; that he did have some sort of value to the people around him.

'I understand,' Dumbledore said kindly, saving Remus the humiliation of having to answer too many questions. 'You'll receive a Gringotts notice after two weeks with the necessary location and money for your trip. Don't rush; if they're expecting you or if they know you're coming by some method or another, it's best that you reach late.'

Remus nodded, getting up. 'Thank you, Professor.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Sherbet Lemon?' he offered, pushing a jar of yellow sweets towards Remus. When Remus shook his head, Dumbledore sighed heavily. 'Remus, did you know that I've always been somewhat partial to you?' When Remus shrugged, he took it as a sign to explain further. 'You were my first werewolf student, and I had high expectations from you. You've never disappointed me.'

Remus felt the corners of his lips tugging sideways as warmth spread inside him. 'Thank you, sir.'

'So, if it ever comes to a point where something is bothering you, I want you to know that I will always be there to help,' concluded Dumbledore, looking directly at Remus as if he knew something about him that Remus himself was yet to discover. 'How are you, my boy? We talk about so much ever month and yet, we never come to this, do we? How are you?'

'I-I'm fine,' Remus lied, looking sideways and finding Fawkes looking at him curiously through his preening. He doubted if Dumbledore would want to hear much of what he said anyway.

How would he explain about Sirius when it was supposed to be a secret? Remus knew that Dumbledore would never judge him, but would he understand him? Would anyone understand what happened if Remus told them, because Remus sometimes found it hard to comprehend it himself. Things had been so perfect between the two of them, and he still couldn't figure out when things had spiraled towards this, the present, so quickly.

'Are you sure?' Dumbledore asked again, not pressing, but inquiring politely.

Remus's hold on his chair tightened. 'I should go, sir, I have Elphias's wand to pick up.'

Remus had gone as far as the door to Dumbledore's office when the old professor spoke again, this time his voice sounding old, wise, and experienced. He wasn't even speaking directly to Remus; instead, Fawkes had flown to perch on the desk as Dumbledore stroked his head softly. 'Love, Fawkes, can sometimes ruin us,' he said, as if reading Remus's heart and mind, 'but it's also what keeps you going at the end of the day, don't you agree?'

Remus's throat clenched tightly, and he had to close his eyes and look up for a while to force the stinging in his eyes back. 'Yes,' Remus whispered to himself. 'Yes, I do.'

XxxxX

Elphias knocked the door before entering Remus's bedroom. 'Remy?' he said quietly, checking to see if Remus had fallen asleep. 'Your mum said it was okay to come see you now.'

Remus, who had been lying faced away from the door the whole while, turned to look at Elphias and smiled. 'Come in, Elf. '

Elphias hesitated for a while, wondering if he should, before he pushed down his cowardice and walked in. He didn't sit anywhere however and quickly handed Remus over a chocolate bar that he'd bought from the grocery without truly looking at him. 'How're you doin'?' he asked, shuffling his feet.

Remus raised an eyebrow and unwrapped his chocolate swiftly. 'I should be asking you that. Mum told me you fainted after you saw me.'

Elphias swallowed, fighting down the nauseous feeling that was rising up in his throat as he remembered the sight of Remus in the morning. Mrs. Lupin had unlocked the garage door after Remus's transformation to reveal the most horrific sight Elphias had ever seen. Remus had been lying there, naked and close to unconsciousness, bleeding from so many cuts, deep and shallow, that Elphias had lost count. It was bad on its own, but what had sent Elphias's mind reeling had been the Aconite burns. The wolf must have tried repeatedly to break the door and get out because the entire right side of Remus's body and face had been burnt raw red.

Elphias had taken one look at Remus, gone green, and promptly fallen to the floor. It was embarrassing enough that he had passed out; what made it worse was that Mrs. Lupin hadn't let Elphias anywhere near Remus until she'd done fixing him up. In fact, when Elphias was finally allowed into the room, it was only because there were some wounds that muggle medicine and left-over Mungo's potions couldn't heal.

'Sit down, Elf, I'm not going to break. Come on,' Remus, moving slightly to the side and patting the bed invitingly.

Elphias sat down gingerly, careful not to make the bed bounce too much should it brush against any of Remus's tender wounds. 'I didn' think it would be this 'orrible,' he confessed, reaching for the right side of Remus's face and running his thumb across Remus's cheek. The skin was overly smooth and slightly lighter than the left side. 'I-I panicked, I s'pose.'

Remus smiled kindly. 'It isn't always this bad, you'll see. The wolf was just aggravated this time. It's a new environment and its never like closed spaces.'

'Liar,' Elphias said harsher than he intended. 'You been in closed spaces before an' you never been this bad. I's been watchin' you for days. I ain't stupid; I know this is about Mr. Black.'

Remus sighed heavily, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back on the headboard.

Elphias took the silence as confirmation. 'I could talk to 'im, Remy, I could tell 'im about how you're-'

'No, Elf.'

''E would listen and 'e'd be able to help you. I could go to him right now an'-'

'I said no, Elphias!' Remus interrupted sternly. 'I don't want you badgering him for things I can take care on my own.'

'But 'e can help!' Elphias cried, 'you don' have to get 'urt as much if he-'

'Listen to me, Elphias,' Remus said, suddenly grabbing Elphias by the arms. His voice had gone dangerously low and his eyes sharp and focused. 'He. Doesn't. Care.' Remus was so close that Elphias could smell the chocolate on his breath and the myriad of potions on his skin. 'He doesn't care and it's not his obligation anymore.'

Elphias's lower lip trembled as Remus let go of him. He didn't say anything even though there were hundreds of questions and protests in his mind. He didn't think Sirius was cruel enough to leave Remus on a full moon. They might not be lovers anymore, but that didn't stop them from caring about each other, did it? Remus still loved Sirius, Elphias knew that, so surely, Sirius still had to have some feelings left for Remus, hadn't he?

He heard Remus sigh and shift beside him. 'Come here, Elf.' Elphias shuffled closer to Remus, whose face by now had relaxed into the serenity that Elphias was so familiar with. 'Look, I didn't mean to upset you, okay?' Remus put a hand on top of Elphias's head, ruffling it slightly. 'Here, why don't you finish the rest of my chocolate; it's too big for me anyway.'

Elphias broke off a piece but pushed the rest of the bar back into Remus's hands. He chewed thoughtfully on his chocolate, not really thinking about anything specific, but everything that was important. His silence must have bothered Remus though because after a while, he gave Elphias a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

'How about you tell me one of those amusing stories of yours mum talks so much about, eh?' Remus said, smiling softly. 'It would be a good mood breaker, don't you think?'

Elphias scrunched up his face. 'Did I ever tell you abou' me firs' duel wit' Hazard?'

'I'm guessing that's a name and not your description of the person.' When Elphias looked at him with a confused expression, Remus just shook his head and motioned him to continue.

Elphias grinned, popping the rest of his chocolate into his mouth and in his excitement, starting without swallowing completely. 'Well, this was back when I was only twelve, see? Still a beginner an' all, and me dad – 'e was still alive back then – 'e reckoned it would get a real good crowd if he put me up against one o' the big lads.'

Remus had his chin rested on his hand now, nibbling occasionally, but keeping complete focus on Elphias's tale. It made Elphias slightly giddy to know that he had Remus's attention after so long.

'An' I was scared out o' me shorts! Mind you, I was good back then, too, but I's always been a lil' on the short side and this bloke was taller than you even, and 'e'd been dueling for over ten years!'

'What did you do?' Remus asked, head cocked to the side and mouth slightly open.

'I fough'! Me ol' man forced me to!' Elphias cried, feeling the outrage that he'd felt back then bubble up within him once more. 'An' I was losin', too! 'Alf way through the duel, I finally caught him unawares and sent a stunnin' spell at him. Know what 'appens? It backfires and this big bloke lands righ' on top o' me!'

'Merlin,' Remus said, eye widening. 'Could you breathe?'

''Ardly, an' you know wha' the worst part was, Remy?'

'What?'

Elphias grinned. 'Through me suffocatin', I got the biggest woody on the planet!'

Remus blinked as if registering the information and then promptly burst out laughing. It was a sweet and carefree sound, and Elphias found himself laughing along even though he'd told this particular story at least a million times. As he looked through the corner of his eyes at Remus, Elphias realised that it was the first time he'd seen Remus laugh this loud or at all since he'd come to the Lupin cottage. It felt like a goal had been accomplished, even though he'd never set one in the first place.

'I'm sure he felt it,' Remus said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes and still letting out small chuckles.

''Course 'e did! Got him awkward enough for me to win the duel. Me ol' man was so proud!'

Remus was laughing again, his brown hair falling over his eyes and face in elegant waves. Elphias couldn't help it; he touched it and found it to be impossibly soft and clean. Remus either didn't notice or was too used to Elphias touching him to object as Elphias tucked Remus's hair back behind his ears.

'Let me guess, you slept with him as a part of your celebration, right?' Remus asked, eyes shining and lips quirked with amusement.

'No, sir. 'E's got a lovely wife an' kids,' Elphias defended himself, his arms automatically crossing in front of his chest. 'I migh' be a lot of thin's, but I ain't no home breaker.'

Remus smiled, patting Elphias's cheek affectionately. 'You're a good lad, Elf. Thank you.'

Elphias didn't know what Remus was thanking him for really, but he liked the fact that he could help. He liked it when Remus smiled and laughed; liked the way his cheeks dented so perfectly on both sides and his eyes wrinkled at the corners; he liked the rich sound of laughter reverberating in the room and liked how Remus's hair flew about his face.

Consequently, Elphias found himself telling more stories about his past and life back in Stepney, a lot of it true, but the most amusing ones not. Remus didn't have to know which ones were made up as long as they were believable and they made his amber eyes shine full of mirth. Elphias talked and talked for the next two hours because that was really what he did best (according to most people anyway), until Remus had fallen asleep and Mrs. Lupin had asked Elphias to be a darling and help her make Remus's favourite dish for lunch.

For some reason unbeknownst to Elphias, after they were done cooking, she had kissed him on the cheek and called him a 'lovely boy'. Elphias didn't mind it so much, not after being called 'street rat' most of his life.

And when Lily and James Potter had called by floo to ask how Remus was, Elphias was proudly able to say, 'he was fine, thank you very much'.

XxxxX

Ah, another depressing chapter, but look, it had a positive ending. See, I'm getting there!! I know you have a lot of questions about Elphias right now, so go ahead and ask. I'm not promising an answer though. Oh, and I'll have to make dedications to Truest of True Loves and Leafyaki, who both wanted to see a bit of Dumbledore in the chapters and inspired me to write a certain scene. I hope it was enough! Also, Truest of True Loves described the pups sleeping with someone else as "uck" and hoped I wouldn't put it in. Unfortunately, she inspired me to do exactly the opposite. Sorry, love. Oh, and to Purple Uranium whose constant questioning brought about the scene with Lily. Cheers to every one of you reviewers also because you all inspire me one way or another, and I would never get this far without any of you.

MUPPETMADNESSS: Ah, yeah, it's actually been ages since the Hogwarts era, hasn't it? I can't even remember half of what I wrote. Well, there are a good number of chapters left to write, but don't worry, the updates will be pretty frequent, or as often as I can write. I don't know if I plan to write any more stories. If an idea strikes me, maybe I will. Right now, I'm sort of caught up with this one. Alex: Thank you sweetheart. I'm glad you chose my fic to be your absolute first, and that I was able to do justice to it. I hope you keep reading and enjoying them as much. Katefish: Thank you! Lol, yeah, you're not the only one pissed off at Sirius, but he'll come to his senses eventually…I think. Well, the happiness will take a little time, but I promise it'll be good, so keep reading! A Person: Lol, you're about the only person who's felt bad for him along with me. Most people usually sympathise with Remus, but I wanted to put it out that it might be his fault to start with but he's suffering just as much. Purple Uranium: Well, you were close, so I'll take it as a compliment. James didn't confront Peter about it because, as I mentioned in the chapter itself, Peter wasn't lying. He was merely twisting the truth, bringing doubts into Sirius's mind about things that had already happened. And by then a lot of people were suspicious, so it wasn't that much of an unusual occurrence for him to mull over it. Besides, James was always the trusting type, wasn't he? Melissa: Well, I think this chapter's a little um…less sad. I hope you liked it! Kyshal: Yes, yes, yes, it's an AU. Completely, ridiculously, very happily ever after AU!