May, 1981…

By the end of May, sleeping with Remus in his bed had become quite regular for Elphias. It had started out simply as a way of comfort for both of them after Mrs. Lupin had died. Elphias would rush to Remus's side every time he heard the werewolf screaming and whimpering from another horrible nightmare, and try and calm him for all it was worth. Sometimes, it wasn't Remus, but just Elphias's loneliness that made Elphias tip-toe bare feet into Remus room and burrow under the covers.

What made sleeping together comforting most of all was that they were really just sleeping together. Shocking as it was, Elphias was complacent with just that. For the first time in his life, he would wake up beside a warm body without a raging hard on or the need to have sex with it. Not that he wasn't still turned on by Remus or didn't want to snog him senseless at times, but Elphias was happy this way. He was happy to have someone who actually listened to him when he talked, and needed him, and cared for him, and didn't complain when he snuggled close during the nights despite Remus having enlarged the bed.

Evenings and nights were the only times they saw each other anymore nowadays. Remus had taken Dumbledore's advice seriously and given up missions for a while. It had raised many questions within the Order, but they were duly ignored as Remus got himself a job that went on till seven in the evening. It wasn't a proper job because no one in the magical world would hire a werewolf, not during these times. It was a Muggle one in which Remus worked on weekends in exchange for having a few days off every month for his transformation. Elphias didn't know the specifics but it involved carrying a lot of heavy boxes without magic and healing a lot of splinters after. It wasn't too bad; it paid well and Elphias often got to see Remus shirtless and glistening in a heavy layer of sweat.

When Remus returned home in the evenings, Elphias would badger him with all sorts of tales and stories about what happened at work over an early dinner, and Remus would smile and laugh in all the right places so that it left Elphias feeling very important. What Elphias didn't understand though was Remus's insistence on doing the Daily Prophet's runic translations every day. Remus claimed it was to keep his mind fresh and to Elphias's utmost horror, even called it fun more than once. Elphias still struggles to forget that statement.

Remus was solving them again now, sucking on his quill contemplatively. Elphias vowed to buy Remus some sugar quills as he climbed into bed beside Remus and pulled the sheets up to his chin. It was Remus's quiet, thinking time, so he kept uncharacteristically silent and closed his eyes, preparing himself to fall asleep quicker than usual because he'd had a particularly hard day.

'Remy?' Elphias asked sleepily, his voice sounding muffled because of his pillow.

Remus laid a hand on his head as acknowledgement to show he was listening.

Elphias turned to face Remus, still engrossed in his puzzles and crosswords. 'Would you ever hate me?'

Remus cocked an eyebrow but said nothing, choosing to fill out a blank box underneath symbols that looked more confusing than Chinese to Elphias.

'Wha' if I told you I did somethin' bad?' Elphias asked, remembering what he'd told Sirius. It still haunted him sometimes: the anger and jealousy on Sirius's face and the pain that came with the punch. 'Somethin' really, really 'orrible that you migh' never forgive me for?' He shouldn't have said those lies about Remus, he knew, but he'd been so angry and Sirius had been so hurtful. Elphias felt he deserved a lesson; at that time, Elphias felt Sirius should have had his worst nightmares thrown back at his face. Elphias still thought Sirius deserved to be riled up that way, but only felt guilty because of Remus.

Remus set the paper down on his lap. 'Okay, who have you murdered?'

'Nobody!' Elphias exclaimed with wide eyes making Remus chuckle.

'All right, have you broken anything?'

Elphias took some time to think, wondering how Remus would react if Elphias told him. How hurt would Remus be? Elphias didn't want Remus to go through anything too awful, not after he was finally starting to get over Mrs. Lupin's death. 'Not yet, I don' think,' Elphias replied finally.

Remus tilted his head to the side. 'Are you experiencing a moment of low self esteem and needing me to stroke your ego a bit?'

'I'd rather you stroke somethin' a lot bigger,' Elphias purred, brushing his hand over Remus's thigh.

Remus snorted and pushed away Elphias's hand. 'Another bad pick up line like that and this bed is off limits, am I clear?'

Elphias noticed that while Remus never quite objected to his touches, they were never reciprocated either. Remus never sought out Elphias during bad nights or tried to hug him when he felt like one. It hurt just a little bit, especially after being told by Mrs. Lupin that Remus once used to be very affectionate. Elphias crossed his arms behind his head and looked up at Remus contemplatively, wondering how much Sirius Black had changed of Remus – how much had he broken and ruined?

'So what is this horrible, horrible thing that you've done?'

Elphias bit his lip, still unsure of whether to outright say it or not. 'I-' He didn't want Remus angry with him. More so, he didn't want Remus to get any more upset than he already was. 'I wanked on your favourite sheets.' He said the first, silliest thing that came to his mind and turned bright red when he realised exactly what he'd just said.

Remus was too busy laughing to notice how Elphias slid deeper under the covers to hide his face.

'Also, I think you should tell your frien's about your mum,' Elphias said in a small voice, peeking from beneath the covers for the awaited explosion or breakdown. To his surprise, none came and Remus's laughter slowly quieted down to chuckles.

'If that's what you think, mate,' he replied, smiling still.

'I think,' Elphias continued boldly, 'it would make Mrs. Potter less worried 'bout you, an' it would help. You, I mean.'

Remus gently held Elphias's chin between his fingers. 'I'll tell them this week. I think I can now.'

'Really?' Elphias asked, clasping Remus's hand in his and giving the knuckles a swift kiss.

'Sleep, Elf,' Remus insisted, taking away his hand to get back to his ever important puzzle. 'And keep the wanking out of my sheets next time, alright?'

XxxxX

Remus has never looked this handsome. Never, as far as Sirius remembered, did Remus look so beautiful that he looked called upon from the heavens. It could have been the haircut: short, choppy honey-brown hair that was no longer as straight as it used to be. Somehow, without the weight of its length, Remus's hair now curled at the ends; not messy despite being uneven and longer in the front than at the back, but just perfect.

It could have been the haircut, but that didn't explain why Remus's skin looked so soft and untouchable; a nice healthy colour to his usual pallor as if he'd been exposed to just the right amount of sun. He still had tired bags under his eyes, but they seemed insignificant almost when compared to the rest of him.

The new hairstyle didn't explain the hard muscles flexing underneath Remus's thin t-shirt. He had always had a great body, Sirius thought so at least, despite being skinny, but there was more definition to his angles now. It especially didn't explain the way Remus now confidently bore his bite scar, barely flinching when the bartender stared at it a bit too long. Sirius remembered a time when Remus had been too ashamed to show it to his best friends.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.'

Sirius wasn't really listening to Remus as much as just watching his mouth move. He had caught on the gist of the conversation; he had understood that Remus's mother had died over a month ago and he had understood that not many people currently knew which was why Remus was telling him all of this. He understood it, but found it hard to believe. Delilah Lupin was dead? How? Why? It wasn't a Death Eater attack; Remus had confirmed so much. Then why would such a sweet, wonderful woman meet an early demise? Hadn't he seen her recently? Hadn't he seen her alive and well?

'Remus,' Sirius said softly, wanting to reach out for Remus's hand and clasp it within his own, but remembering that they were in the Leaky Cauldron and people were watching. 'Why didn't you tell me this before? Why now?'

Remus looked down, his hands fidgeting in the way Sirius remembered so well. For a second, he felt a wave of unknown emotion towards the werewolf, and without Sirius even asking, Remus looked up into his eyes, as if reading into Sirius's mind. 'I wasn't ready,' Remus replied softly, 'to talk about it. I just…' He trailed off, not knowing what more to say.

Sirius's heart clenched. He didn't think about it, didn't look around, but just laid a hand on Remus's shoulder and squeezed, trying to show that he was there. Sirius wanted Remus to know that no matter how much had come between them, Sirius was still human and Remus was still a friend. It was true that Sirius got angry a lot at Remus; it was true that most of the time he was caught between a limbo of love and hate when it came to the two of the them; it was also true that James had been wrong about Remus not changing because in Sirius's eyes, he had, drastically so. In the end, however, Sirius found he could not hate Remus or be cruel to him when Remus came to him with large amber eyes, a heavy heart, and news of the last of his family finally falling away. It just wasn't done.

'I haven't told James and Lily yet,' Remus confessed. 'Do you think they'll be angry?'

Sirius smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. 'They'll be fine. They might be a bit upset, but they'll understand…' Remus nodded and Sirius let his hand fall from Remus's shoulder. 'Look, if you're done with your drink, how about we go out for a bit of a walk, eh?'

'Okay,' Remus said, standing up. Sirius tossed in a few coins before Remus had the chance to pay for it. 'You didn't have to-'

Sirius cut off his protests with a sharp wave of his hand. 'Prongs tells me you haven't been to the last few Order meetings. How come?'

Remus shrugged. 'Dumbledore asked me to lay low for a while; not do any missions. I keep up to date with the proceedings, but that's all I'm allowed to do.'

Any suspicions about Remus that might have quelled during Sirius's intern trip to Ukraine rose yet again. Dumbledore had asked Remus to stop participating in missions? Why? Did he suspect something? Was Remus not as trustworthy anymore? Hundreds of questions plagued his mind, and Sirius quickly shook his head, remembering that this time was supposed to be for comforting Remus. He'd dwell on everything later but now, Sirius would concentrate on Remus and how make sure he was all right.

Remus turned towards him, eyes reflecting the gold and pink hues of the evening sky and making his face glow with ethereal beauty. 'I really appreciate you taking your time to listen to my nonsense, Sirius. I know we haven't been the best of friends lately and I know it's mostly because I-'

Sirius cut him off with a fierce hug, damn if anybody was looking. 'Don't talk,' he whispered, keeping a firm hand on the small of Remus's back so that he wouldn't be able to pull away. 'Don't say anything. It just makes things worse between us.' He felt Remus stiffen against him and inhale shakily.

'I-' Remus choked on his words. 'That's not what I was trying to do,' he replied, his hair slipping between Sirius's fingers as he moved away. Sirius felt as if he'd experienced a heavy loss as he looked at Remus's hurt face. 'I didn't-'

Sirius closed his eyes, hand rising up to massage his temples.

'I'm sorry,' Remus said softly, 'How many times do I have to tell you that to get you to forgive me? Why can't you-'

'I don't want to argue, Remus, please.' Sirius looked around and then finding the streets somewhat deserted due to the upcoming curfew, cupped Remus's cheek with one hand. 'I'm sorry about your mother. I can't tell you I know how you feel, but she was really wonderful, and I'd like to visit her grave once if you'll let me.'

Remus nodded, his cheek brushing against Sirius's palm – it really was as soft as it looked.

There was an old man staring at them quite openly, so Sirius let his hand drop. 'Look, I'll be going over to visit Harry now, so if you'd like to…'

Remus shook his head, moving so that there was a great big space between them. 'Tomorrow. It's almost curfew, and I promised Elf I'd pick him up from the shop.'

Sirius felt his anger suddenly rise. 'Elphias is here?'

Remus nodded, walking away even further from Sirius. 'It's nearing Quidditch season, so he's had to work late this week.'

Sirius scowled. 'So he can apparate himself, can't he? What does he need you for?'

'Elf likes riding in the car sometimes,' Remus replied, frowning and stuffing his hand in his right pocket where Sirius assumed his car key was. 'He does a lot for me, so I let him have a bit of fun sometimes.'

Sirius snorted derisively. 'How typical of you to put it into such polished and careful words…bit of fun indeed.' If Elphias had been here in front of him, Sirius would have taken the pleasure of wringing his neck with his bare hands.

Remus grimaced, his lips pulling downwards. 'Sirius, what's your problem? One minute, you're fine and then you're suddenly throwing a tantrum for no reason. What the hell is wrong with you?'

'There is nothing wrong with me,' Sirius replied through gritted teeth.

Remus threw his hands up, exasperated. 'You know what, fine. Have it your way. I just, I don't know why I bother coming to you anymore. You obviously can't stand the sight of me and I just keep trying to-'

Sirius grabbed Remus tightly by the wrist before he could get too far. 'Remus, that's not it. That's not…I just...I don't like Elphias. I don't like that he stays with you. There's something not right about him. He-'

'He doesn't hurt me,' Remus spat, glaring daggers into Sirius.

Sirius recoiled, but didn't not let go of Remus's hand. Vaguely, he could feel Remus's pulse quickening beneath his fingers. 'Remus, does he…' He wanted to ask, to know for sure. '…have you two…' He could, he could say it, yet the words refused to form into coherent sentences.

'Look, Sirius,' Remus said quietly, extricating his hand from Sirius's grip. 'I'll see you around, okay. It's getting late and I don't want Elf getting into trouble.'

Sirius moved away, walking backwards with a scowl upon his face. 'Fine' he spat to Remus's retreating back. When Remus didn't answer or even look back, he screamed with all the built up rage in him, uncaring to the few people around him or the streetlights flickering due to uncontrolled magic. 'FINE!'

'We fuck, Mr. Black.'

XxxxX

'Happy belated birthday, Harry!' James handed Harry over to Remus, who promptly hoisted the child up on his shoulders. 'Look what I got you,' Remus cooed, rummaging in his jacket pocket and producing a small golden ball the size of a walnut. It slowly unfurled, revealing its delicate wings after an insistent nudge from Remus's thumb.

'Merlin, it's my old snitch!' James cried, shuffling in for a closer look. 'I didn't know you still had it!'

Remus grinned. 'I fixed the wing a bit and modified the charms so that it moves slower for Harry and keeps to the house. Do you like it, Harry?' He bounced Harry a little, handing him the snitch to play with. Harry liked it so much that he promptly put it in his mouth.

'Harry, no,' James scolded, 'spit it out. Come on, lad. No eating birthday presents.' Harry obviously didn't believe in the rule because he turned his face away defiantly when James extended his palm up for the ball. 'Remus, help me out, will you, mate? You're a bit too tall for me to reach.'

Remus brought Harry down from his shoulders and James, after a lot of pulling and struggling, finally got the snitch out of his child's mouth. 'Moo!' Harry yelled and clutched at Remus's shirt, before he burst out crying.

'You're child is speaking cow, Prongs,' Remus laughed, as he patted Harry on the back soothingly.

James thwacked him on the head. 'He's trying to say your name, and you know it,' he replied, steering Remus into the dining room. 'Lily's making us practice "tough love" on him, so he knows he'll only get his way if you or Padfoot are around.'

'Pads!' Harry screamed through his tears when he noticed that Remus wasn't getting his new ball back. "Pads!'

Remus chuckled, ruffling Harry's hair. 'Smart little bugger.'

'Hm, your gift goes with Harry's new broom. He's been zooming around on it since yesterday and it's driving Lily up the wall.' James's tone was proud, clearly saying that he didn't have any problems with Harry's little escapades with his broom. 'Padfoot's make up birthday gift apparently.'

Remus winced slightly at the mention of Sirius's name, not hard but noticeable by James. 'He missed Harry's birthday? Really?'

James shrugged. 'Except for Peter, all of you did. It was a working day, I know, I know,' James waved off Remus's apologies before he even said it. 'Lily and Harry went around a little, and I took them out for dinner later, so we had fun.'

'Remus, you're here!' Lily enveloped Remus into a tight hug as soon as she entered the room, squeezing Harry in between. 'I was afraid you'd call last minute and cancel. Dinner's nearly ready, so just sit and chat for a while, okay?' She scurried off as quickly as she'd entered, Remus not having the chance to say a word in between.

James laughed at Remus's gobsmacked expression. 'She's been cooking all day. It's Harry's first birthday celebration, you know.'

'Haven't seen her this enthusiastic since your wedding,' Remus replied, letting Harry sit facing him on the table, his legs swinging happily. 'How come the others aren't here yet? I thought you said we weren't to be late.'

James looked at Remus a little guiltily as he sat across from him. He hoped Remus wouldn't be too angry. 'It's just Padfoot left really.'

Remus's eyes widened. 'What about Wormtail?'

James looked at Harry. 'We didn't invite him. Lily and I thought that maybe you and Sirius could-'

Remus stood up abruptly, sending his chair toppling to the ground. 'Prongs, you cannot be serious.'

James quickly grabbed Remus by the arm, forcing him to sit down. Harry tugged on his sleeve for fun as well and was saved from nearly toppling off the table due to Remus's quick reflexes. 'Look, just listen to me, all right? It's just that you and Sirius have been getting on quite well-'

'Quite well!' Remus cried disbelievingly. 'Quite well? If by quite well you mean he blows his bleeding head every time he sees me, then yes, perhaps we're getting along extremely well. For the love of Merlin, Prongs, how could you-'

'He loves you,' James interrupted.

'Bullocks,' Remus scoffed.

'I really think this could work out, Moony,' James pleaded. 'Honestly. I mean, Sirius has cooled down a lot, and I think that if you talked a bit, you really have a chance of getting back together.'

Remus said nothing, but his breath came out controlled and suppressed as if fighting back some strong emotion.

'We miss you. Harry misses you. You're hardly there anymore and Harry calls for you every time he sees Padfoot.' James looked at Harry, knowing that he was playing the child card to his advantage; that Remus would concede if Harry's name was mentioned at all. 'He can't even grasp the concept of a Padfoot without Moony.' James slung an arm around Remus's shoulder, shaking him amiably. 'Just give it a try, yeah, for Harry…'

Remus never had a chance to answer because Lily entered right then, levitating Merlin knew how many dishes and setting them neatly on the table before sitting opposite to James. 'All done.'

'Smells delicious, Lily,' Remus said, smiling and James took it as a way for Remus to say, yes, to his suggestion.

'So, Remus, you never told me earlier, what's your secret behind the haircut?' Lily asked, reaching out to ruffle Remus's hair. Harry copied her movement, yanking on Remus's hair and laughing when James tickled him under his arms in an attempt to let go.

'There's no secret. Elf wanted to cut it, so I let him.'

James laughed. 'You know, in all the years I've known you, I don't think I've ever seen you with short hair. Hell, you had the longest hair amongst us boys even back in first year!'

Remus blushed, and Lily pushed James lightly on the shoulder. 'I think you look very handsome, Remus. Elphias did a lovely job of it.'

'Don't tell him that,' Remus warned jokingly, 'he'll take it as permission to grope you.'

'He seems very happy these days,' Lily commented idly, 'it's good of you to take care of him like that. I don't think anyone else would have taken him in even. Most of the Order still thinks he's a bit of a child really.'

Remus smiled. 'Would you believe it if I told you he takes care of me?'

'Oh?'

'He earns his way into the house, even though he doesn't have to,' Remus explained. 'He might be immature but he's definitely not a child. No one in the Order has given him the chance to prove that yet.'

James eyebrows rose in surprise. 'You seem close.'

Remus shrugged, but said nothing, leaving James to wonder if there was more to Remus and Elphias's relationship than what met the eye. He looked at Lily to see if she was thinking the same thing, but she had already started a new topic of conversation with Remus and the two of them were happily chatting away with each other. Not wanting to be left out, Harry joined in with his unintelligible babbles and James took it as an invitation to start talking as well, vaguely wondering where Sirius had gotten to.

In fact, it came to a point where the food was getting cold and they were all tired of waiting for Sirius to arrive, so Lily had suggested they put Harry to bed and start dinner while it was still edible. It was when James was in the middle of a particularly amusing story about Quaffles and Bludgers that the doorbell finally rang. James had reluctantly gone to answer the door and abandoned his punch line. He received the shock of his life when Sirius entered without so much as a hello, smelling strongly of booze and sex. He had another equally disheveled man strapped under his left arm.

It didn't escape James's notice that the man had exactly the same shade of brown hair as Remus.

'Sirius is here,' James announced gravely, as they walked into the dining room; or in Sirius's case, stumbled quite ungracefully into it. He had a very bad feeling about this and as James glanced at Remus through the corner of his eyes, he knew it wasn't without reason. 'He brought along a guest, it seems.'

'Philip Chapman,' the other man slurred, ironically choosing to introduce himself to Remus first.

Remus nodded stiffly, his face impassive and closed down. It looked an odd contrast to the smile he'd been wearing only minutes before. 'Pleasure,' he replied politely, before resuming his eating.

James mused at how in control Remus was. Had it been Lily in Sirius's place, James would have ripped the other man's throat. ''Why are you late? Harry fell asleep waiting for you.' James scolded, ignoring the warning glares he received from his wife.

'Got caught up,' Sirius replied distractedly, as he buried his face in Chapman's neck and sucked on the skin there, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Remus's grip on his fork tightened, but he said nothing. He kept a strong focus on his plate, and Lily shot a worried glance at him and James. 'Sirius, we're here for dinner,' Lily said in a low, dangerous voice.

'Mm, sorry,' Sirius replied back, not looking sorry at all and not ceasing his ministrations on Chapman, who seemed to have as much table manners and courtesy as Sirius. Sirius's hands were wandering under the table, and James really didn't want to know what they were doing or where they'd been previously.

'Sirius!'

Sirius smirked wickedly and moved away only slightly. The two of them were still sticking to each other sickeningly, and James couldn't stop his lip from curling in disgust at their display. 'Can't help it,' Sirius purred lowly, shooting Remus a daring look before resuming his staring at Chapman, who growled in approval.

Both Lily and Remus's jaws twitched, and then there was a simultaneous clatter of silverware as Sirius pulled Chapman into an aggressive kiss, tounge first and skill nonexistent. James stared open mouthed, completely taken by shock. He looked at Lily and saw her mirroring the sentiment and suddenly, James realised why. They'd never seen Sirius kiss a man before. As long as Remus and Sirius had been together, they'd never publicly shown affection for each other, even in front of their best friends. In fact, the most James had ever seen Remus and Sirius do was hold hands and exchange flirtatious comments.

And now…

James blinked, trying to dispel the sick feeling in his stomach and turned his focus to Remus instead, only to find that Remus had left. Lily seemed to have noticed this before he did and was about to go after their friend, but James stopped her with a hand of her shoulder and ran out as fast as he could.

'Moony, wait! Remus!'

Remus whipped around, his face livid and his hair flying above his head from the slight breeze in the air. 'What, Prongs? What more could you possibly want from me?'

James stopped, hands on his knees as he panted out his concern. 'Just…are you alright?'

Remus laughed bitterly. 'Am I alright? Bloody hell, Prongs, no!' he cried, his voice echoing sorrowfully in the relatively empty neighbourhood. 'I'm not even close! I'm a wreck, is that what you wanted to hear?'

James approached him slowly, cautiously resting a hand upon his shoulder. 'Moony, look, I know you're upset. Fuck, I would be too, but just stay for dinner. We'll-'

'No!' Remus screamed, looking so dangerous that even James had to step back. 'No, James, I'm not doing anything you ask of me, alright? So just stop it! Just-' He took a deep shuddery breath and James saw the beginnings of tears form in his eyes. 'Just stop trying to put me and Sirius together; stop all these ridiculous schemes and plots! This isn't a prank that you can just think up and have fun with, okay? This is my life! This is my life!'

James felt his throat close; this was his fault. All of this, it was his fault. 'Remus, I'm sorry. I just thought that if I-'

'If you what, Prongs?' Remus snapped.

James stuttered, 'If I-'

Remus moved away, hands fisting in his hair. 'He hates me, am I the only one who sees it? He hates my fucking guts, so just get it in your head that it's over.'

'Remus…'

'Do you know how I know this, Prongs?' Remus asked slightly more calmly. When James didn't answer, Remus choked out his answer, his tears falling freely down his cheeks. 'I can't feel him,' he replied, to James's utter confusion. It was when James noticed that Remus's hand was placed over his heart that he finally understood what Remus was talking about.

The bond – their special connection that deep down, both James and Lily had always envied slightly.

James looked up at Remus's face – wet and red from all the screaming, his eyelashes clumped together and his hair sticking to the corners of his face. It was the first time James was seeing Remus cry. He had come close once, after Sirius's deadly prank, but James hadn't allowed it then, and Remus had agreed and gathered himself together. But now, Remus, one of the strongest people James knew, was shivering and shaking from the weight of his tears, and James had indirectly been the cause of it.

'Please just let me be, James, please. I'm begging you,' Remus pleaded quietly, walking further away when James reached out to touch him. 'Just give me some time alone. Just let me breathe again, yeah?'

As Remus disapparated, James knew that their friendship was officially broken; that Remus would never come to him if he needed help or even just a friend. In fact, he didn't know it then, but neither James nor Lily would see Remus until mid September. James felt as if he'd officially managed to chase Remus away, crying, and the very thought sent such an unspeakable, all-consuming rage through him that he nearly shook from the pressure of it.

James had completely lost his mind after that, not even aware of how much pain he was causing as he marched back into the house and slammed Sirius roughly against the wall. 'WHAT THE SODDING HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU BASTARD?'

'James!' Lily cried, immediately pulling at his shoulder. James ignored her, but had the presence of mind to notice that she'd somehow gotten rid that bastard, Philip Chapman. It was a good thing, too because James would have killed him.

James's fists tightened on the collar of Sirius's shirt, raising him a good few inches off the ground despite being noticeably shorter. 'HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU JUST…'

'I CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE!' Sirius screamed, spittle flying out. 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO STOP ME?'

James felt as if his head was going to explode. 'YOU'RE RIGHT! WHO THE FUCK AM I? JUST SOME CRAZY OLD CHAP LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, YEAH? WHY WOULD YOU NEED SOMEONE LIKE THAT?'

Sirius struggled, his nails digging into James's skin as he tried to pry off James's hands. 'LET GO OF ME, YOU BASTARD!'

'James, stop it!'

'NO,' James yelled, pushing Sirius hard so that his head collided with a wall painfully. 'NOT UNTIL YOU LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I'VE WARNED YOU BEFORE! NO ONE, SIRIUS, AND I MEAN, NO ONE FUCKS WITH MOONY, YOU GET THAT?'

Sirius looked at him incredulously for a while before bursting out into hysterical laughter. Shocked at Sirius's manic behaviour, James nearly let him go. 'Too late, James,' Sirius spat venomously, 'because that cockney slut already has his dirty hands on him.'

It took a very long time for James to understand what and who Sirius was talking about; and then it clicked. Elphias. James shook his head to himself, unable to comprehend the lengths Sirius would go to, to prove a point, to exact revenge. 'I can't believe you, Sirius. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU! You're jealous! After all you've done, you're jealous?'

Sirius's nostrils flared. 'I'm not-'

But James wasn't listening anymore. He was sick, and tired, and so very angry. There was a limit. There was a limit to how much brotherhood could do and there was a limit to how much he could stand of this nonsense, and both of them had been crossed today the minute Remus had shed a tear. 'You spread your legs wide for everybody thinking you'll get a replacement for Remus, and when there might be the slightest indication that Remus might have found someone else, you can't stand it, can you? You can't stand him being happy! Fuck you, you sick bastard!'

'James, just calm down.'

James let Sirius drop, wiping his hands on his trousers as if he'd been touching filth this whole time. 'Get out,' he whispered dangerously, jaw set and eyes steely as he glared at Sirius, disgusted by the stink of alcohol emanating from him and the entirely unrepentant look on his face.

'James, there's no need to-'

'GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!'

XxxxX

Remus slammed the door shut so hard that the hinges shook and fell off. His fists were clenched so tight that they were threatening to draw blood and in some sick way, it felt good. It felt good to draw blood when you were angry, even if was your own. It felt even better to punch something, and Remus had never longed to get into a fight more his entire life. He needed to hit, to scream, to vent his anger off somewhere before he exploded. He didn't know who he was furious at more; Sirius, for so casually displaying his conquests, or himself for actually reacting so violently to it, despite his logical mind telling him that the two of them were no longer together and Sirius could do whatever and whomever he wanted.

It hurt. It hurt so much that for the first time, Remus was opting for Sirius's method and expressing himself through anger and rage. It was a lot easier than breaking down and surrendering to his emotions. It was a lot easier than just falling down on his knees and crying himself dry. The tears were useless, so Remus decided he would break the vase that lay innocently on the centre table.

That was when he noticed the blood on his floor and felt his anger get replaced by confusion, then concern. 'Elf?' he called out, even though he knew the young boy was supposed to be on a mission. 'Elphias?'

Elphias stumbled out of the kitchen door, wide eyed and holding a bloody hand to his shoulder. 'Remy! You're 'ome early! I'm sorry! I was goin' to clean up, 'onest! I'm makin' a right mess, but-'

'Merlin, Elphias, you're bleeding! Shut up and sit down, for God's sake!' Remus scolded, grabbing the boy by his elbow and forcing him to sit down on the couch, despite his numerous protests about staining, and cleaning, and other sorts of Elphiasian rubbish. 'What happened?' Remus asked, quickly and easily ripping the shoulder of Elphias's robe to get better access to the wound.

'S not as bad as rippin' my only set o' robes,' Elphias grouched.

A lot of the material of Elphias's robes had somehow fused with the skin and gathered inside the already deep cut on his shoulder. 'What hex is this?' Remus asked with his brows furrowed. Wizards rarely used physically wounding hexes; cuts and bruises were never as much as a symptom as pain or extra appendages.

'Couple o' them together, I s'pose,' Elphias replied, wincing as Remus tried to clean his cut with his wand.

When it didn't seem to be getting anywhere, Remus summoned a few potions and a pair of pincers. Remus only knew one person who had ever attacked anyone with hexes that cut, but that person was back in school and a somewhat distant memory. Sectusempra. Remus didn't want to think about it, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

Elphias hissed in pain and leant his head against Remus's shoulder for support, breathing heavily. 'Hurts,' he whined, clutching at Remus's shirt tightly and staining it with his own blood.

Remus put a reassuring hand on top of Elphias's head. 'Just a bit more. It's deep, so you're lucky it didn't get infected.'

Elphias nodded, his breath coming out in short bursts. 'I watched Ms. Meadows fall.'

Remus's hands stilled momentarily before he went back to work.

'The Healers ain't sure if she'll make it,' Elphias continued. 'Merlin, me ol' man woulda hexed me if he saw me today. Pathetic.'

'You're the best dueler there, Elf,' Remus chided softly.

'Wasn' payin' attention. Wasn' quick 'nough. Speed, tha's wha' I was taught, you know,' Elphias condescended himself, digging his face further into Remus's shoulder. 'Me ol' man use to say tha' a half-pint like me always has advantage of speed.'

'Hush, Elf, and test your shoulder to see if it's alright,' Remus said softly.

Elphias wiggled his shoulder slightly, making a keening noise where the wound might have pained him. He didn't protest however and used his newly healed shoulder to wrap his arms around Remus, his head adjusting to pillow more comfortably against Remus's chest. 'Need a drink,' he muttered into Remus's shirt. 'We could go to Queen's?'

'London's dangerous at this time,' Remus explained, feeling sudden fondness for this boy who so easily belittled all of Remus's worries with his pleas for affection and his troubled thinking. 'Tomorrow, I promise.'

'And you'll dance wit' me?' Elphias asked hopefully, looking up at Remus with bright eyes.

'Sure,' Remus smiled. 'And I'll even watch you pull. How does that sound, eh?'

Elphias nodded, settling his head back against Remus's chest. 'You smell nice,' he commented casually, as if talking about the weather. 'You was angry when you came in. Was somethin' worryin' you? Didn' the dinner go well?'

Remus sighed heavily and rested his chin on top of Elphias's head. 'I'm fine,' he replied, burying more of himself under the dirt where it belonged.

XxxxX

'Moony!' James didn't even give Remus the chance to get out of the floo before enveloping him in a desperate hug, causing soot and dust to rise above their heads and fall back again. Peter patted James on the back awkwardly as he got out after Remus, but James couldn't care less. They didn't understand. None of them did except perhaps Remus. 'I don't know what to do, Moony, I don't know…I can't go and…I-I-'

'How did this happen, Prongs?' Remus asked, his tone sounding calm and comforting to James's ears after listening to almost an hour's worth of crying, bad news, and uncomfortable silence.

James shook his head, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. 'I don't know. There are Aurors at the Prophet headquarters, but they reckon the explosion was caused by Muggles. There's no indication of magic whatsoever, but they're relocating just in case.'

Remus nodded. 'Peter told me.' He looked past James's shoulder, probably at Sirius who had been sitting there stoic on the sofa ever since he arrived to the Potter Manor. 'How is he?'

At the mention of his father, James felt a fresh wave of tears grip him. 'He's dying,' he choked out, and Remus pulled him into another embrace, patting his back reassuringly. 'After his last attack, the Healers had warned us something like this could happen, but we didn't think-'

'I know,' Remus whispered, 'it's okay. It's okay.'

'He should have retired ages ago. He should have, but he never listens and he wanted to work. Remus, I can't-'

'Does Lily know?'

James shook his head, sniffing and hoping he didn't get Remus's shoulder too wet. He felt slightly ashamed for relying on his friend so much, especially when this friend has had nothing but grief from him and was probably in more pain than he was at the moment. 'She and Harry are visiting her parents…they live in a muggle area, so…'

Remus nodded, turning to Peter, who was standing awkwardly beside them and shifting from foot to foot. 'Peter, can you apparate there and fetch Lily, please? I'm sure she'd like to know.'

Peter nodded, walking out of the room without a word.

'How did you do this?' James asked, feeling sick; feeling as if he needed to kill himself to make all this stop. 'How did you…with your parents? How did you stand this, Remus?'

Remus smiled kindly. 'I had my friends and so do you,' he replied and James couldn't have been more grateful at that very moment. 'Anything you need, James…' He left the sentence unfinished, but James knew what he meant and that was all that mattered. 'Is Mr. Potter asleep?'

James shrugged, sniffing. 'I haven't had the courage to see him since the Healer announced there was nothing they could do. I don't want to watch my dad die, Moony.'

'Your dad doesn't want to die alone, James,' Remus replied softly, a firm hand placed on James's shoulder. 'He'll want you there for him and this isn't the time for you to be selfish.'

Remus was right of course, he always was, so James took a deep breath, pulled himself together, and nodded firmly. He received a pat on the back in return and as he left, Remus quickly wiped away James's stray tears with the back of his hand. 'You'll do fine,' he whispered, and James felt that the statement might not be entirely true, but it didn't hurt to try.

James had gotten as far as the door to the bedroom when he'd heard his father coughing and lost his nerve. He turned, practically running back towards the living room, promptly deciding that he'd wait until Peter brought Lily. Lily was braver than he was and would bring him infinite strength and comfort in a way that only a wife could. As the coughing grew louder, James quickened his pace, his heart threatening to explode and his eyes stinging from suppressed emotions. He was being a coward, he knew, but things were easier said than done, and this was his father, damn it. His father who had been a strong, powerful, and intelligent man; who had done nothing to deserve this. He had tried to bring justice to the wizard world, and this is what he'd gotten in return. His father had sunk with his ship, the newspaper he'd worked and given his life too.

James was about to burst into the living room when he saw something that made him skid on his heels and his jaw drop.

Sirius and Remus were in a tight embrace and there was an unmistakable tone of tears in Sirius's voice as he spoke, for the first time in months, to Remus. 'I don't know what to do anymore,' Sirius cried into Remus's neck, his voice muffled. 'I haven't talked to James in over a month, and I…I don't think they want me here, Moony.'

Moony. Sirius never called Remus Moony anymore. It had started even before their breakup, back when their relationship had gotten too impersonal.

'He's as good as your father, Sirius,' Remus said softly, making James wonder how much strength it took to be holding and comforting the man who had brought him to tears not too long ago. 'Maybe more because you actually loved him and James would want you here more than anyone else.'

Sirius sniffed, holding Remus unbearably tight, and James had to move back a little more to stay hidden. 'Fuck, I was so awful to him, Remus. I was just…I couldn't even comfort him. He was crying for hours before you came, and I didn't do anything. I'm just so-'

'Shh,' Remus soothed, rocking their bodies together and running his hair through thick, black hair. 'You were upset. It's okay.'

Sirius shook his head, looking up at Remus as he wiped his blotchy face. His cheeks and nose were red from all the crying he must have been doing, and there was an odd imprint of Remus's jacket beside his left eye where he'd rested his head. For a moment, it seemed time stood still and they were gazing as if they'd never seen each other before. As if it was the first time they'd met; as if they were falling in love all over again…

It was one of those moments that James and Lily often shared, when James couldn't believe how lucky he was to have the person he loved in his arms; when he found it crazy just how much he'd do for Lily and how much he'd give up just to see a smile on her face. It was one of those moments where no one and nothing existed beyond the two of them.

Sirius's hand came up to touch Remus's cheek softly, his thumb moving gently to the flutter of Remus's eyes. 'Remus,' he whispered low before leaning down to kiss him softly. James looked away after that, feeling like an intruder during an intimate moment between his two best friends. Inwardly, he couldn't help but feel tiny bubbles happiness burst through all his sorrow at the thought of his friends getting back together. Perhaps the Marauders weren't dead after all; perhaps Remus and Sirius getting back together was the start of all things good or at least a weld in the broken link.

'I'm sorry,' James heard Sirius say after a while, and he looked back at them to see Remus's arms fall from Sirius's waist. 'I shouldn't have…I don't know what I was thinking.'

Remus backed away, leaving a vast gap between them. 'It's okay. Don't worry about it. It was cheap,' Remus said resentfully, looking down at his feet, 'convenient.' His voice might have sounded mournful, but when Remus looked up again, his face had put on a brave front. Remus had gotten so good at hiding his emotions that for a second, James actually believed that the kiss had not happened; that maybe somehow he was imagining things.

'Remus, that's not-'

Remus turned his back to him, taking a deep breath as he said, 'Go to your family, Sirius. They need you.'

It wasn't until Remus had thrown the floo powder into the flames that Sirius, body trembling and fist clenching, asked the question James would always remember as a turning point, 'Why are you doing this, Remus?' His voice wavered, and Sirius scrubbed at his face angrily. 'Why are you always so good to me?'

Remus smiled bitterly. 'You just don't get it, do you?' he asked, one foot already in the fireplace. 'Sirius, I love you. There is no reason.' Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes, ready to disappear into the flames when Sirius ran and caught him by the arm.

'I can't do this anymore,' he cried, pulling an astonished Remus to him. When Remus struggled in his embrace, Sirius only held him tighter, effectively locking his arms together. 'I can't. I don't care what they say. I don't care if you're a Death Eater. I don't-'

Through Sirius's babbling, everything spilled out: how Sirius thought Remus was the spy; how his suspicions were still there stronger than ever; how Peter and so many other people and the Prophet kept talking about werewolves and their disloyalty. Sirius cried through his inconsistent explanations of how he had fought against all these accusations, but came to believe them when they threatened to overwhelm him and Remus got too distant to talk to anymore. Sirius told him everything, even the people he'd slept with in his attempt to forget Remus; how he'd pretended to be friends with Remus to spy on him; how he'd punched Elphias and got into fights over Remus and deliberately wanted to hurt Remus on Harry's birthday to make him feel what he felt.

The truth leaked out of Sirius uncontrollably and in a rush of words, like water from a broken dam. There were things even James didn't know and through half of it, he wasn't even sure who Sirius was anymore. If Sirius was truly the same boy he'd called his brother all these years; if he'd been that blind to the conflicts in Sirius's head and unable to solve anything or help his two best friends. In the end, James wasn't even sure if he hated Sirius, loved him, or just felt sorry for him.

Towards the end, James couldn't even stand looking at Remus; couldn't bear to think of what he had to be going through as he was locked in Sirius's grip and forced to listen to everything that had been done against him. James made the mistake of trying to get a glimpse of Remus as they disentangled and immediately regretted it as he saw nothing but flotsam and devastation. Remus looked as if something inside of him had just simply shriveled up and died, leaving him a shell of an empty human being. James wanted to scream, to yell at everyone and especially God for making things so difficult all the time, for seemingly putting all of them through every single tragedy possible. He wanted to hit Sirius and hug him at the same time for having finally come to his senses or lost it enough to confront Remus, to admit to everything he'd done and finally feel sorry for it.

Mostly, he wanted to run after Remus as he turned a deaf ear to Sirius's cries for him to come back and please just talk to him, or look at him, or anything, and tell him that he hadn't just made a big mistake spilling all these secrets. He wanted to grab Remus by the shoulders and pull him back as he walked almost pale and zombie-like into the fireplace. Remus's voice came out hoarse and dry as he muttered 'Hogwarts' before disappearing into the flames.

Sirius was breathing hard from the constant wave of tears he seemed to be submerged in, and James hesitated before walking away to let Sirius gather himself up on his own and retain the little dignity he had left. James sat outside his father's door for half an hour listening to his mother's soothing voice as she talked to his father about everyday things. He sat there until Sirius had entered with Lily and Peter on either side of him.

And when Sirius looked at him, frightened and hesitant, James smiled weakly. Sirius nodded, placing a firm hand on James's shoulder and guiding him into the room.

XxxxX

ALASTOR MOODY'S SUCCESSFUL DEATH EATER RAID!

Theodore Wanes, Daily Prophet Reporter

'Our tactics are being revised, our forces being retrained. These attacks will end and that is my promise to you.'

These were the determined words of Alastor Moody when questioned last month about the escalating rise in Death Eater assaults on muggle born and half blood wizards. The promise has apparently not been forgotten as the DMLE marched into the Pettigrew residence last night for a full house search after receiving reports of suspicious Death Eater activities from an unnamed source.

Sources report that the aurors found many stolen documents from the Ministry itself, Dark equipments, and the signature mask of Voldemort's followers all underneath a well concealed trap door in the basement. Peter Pettigrew was arrested at 2:15 AM, 18th of September, 1981.

Mrs. Donna Pettigrew, Peter Pettigrew's mother, denied all accusations and continues with the firm belief that her son is being set up. Whether she has been actively involved in Death Eater activities remains to be questioned, and she is being held in court until her innocence is confirmed. The Pettigrew trial is scheduled for the 19th of September, 1981.

Bartemius Crouch, Head Judge and candidate for the next minister commented on the matter, 'Pettigrew's capture should be taken as a warning to all the other Death Eaters out there. Our forces have tightened and we are fighting back.' When asked if they have managed to gain any lead on the ongoing Death Eater activities, Crouch has this to say, 'We have offered to lessen Pettigrew's sentence in exchange for information on Voldemort and his followers, and have full confidence that Pettigrew will agree to help us.'

For more information on the Pettigrew trial, turn to page 5.

XxxxX

Melissa: Thank you. I admit, it's sad, but look; this chapter has a sort of happy end. Don't you think? I hoped you enjoyed reading this. Michele: Thank you! No, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm thrilled and I'd love it if you have any suggestions to give me on improving my writing or anything really. A person: Lol, sorry about the birthday thing. I actually just picked a random date. If it helps, my birthday's on the same day as Hitler's which is infinitely worse. Jono: Okay, so I'm not sure if your review was a flame or hate mail or what, but since I make it a point to reply to each review. Mrs. Lupin's death was foreseen really. The books mention that Remus doesn't have a family and I've been dropping hints almost exactly after John's death. Um, Peter didn't get sent away to Pluto, but I was hoping Azkaban would suffice. The temperature's almost the same I think…and no, it's 1981, so the boys are 21. Elf was 16 when I first introduced him in 1979. So, hope you enjoyed the new chapter, even if I didn't head on to the bedroom scene. Cheers to you all!