It hurt, the pain was shooting into my side before I felt the overwhelming feeling building in my stomach as I pulled away from Kevin and ran to the bathroom. My eyes focused on the round white toilet bowl, waiting for my insides to turn back out. Or come up, or whatever, just…the pain needs to go away this is ridiculous what is happening to me! Ow, fuck there it is again. That sharp pain…was god punishing me, or something!

"Nick!"

I felt him envelope me, over an over again as I threw the contents of my stomach into the round bowl in which my ass should be on not my hands, or me hovering over it. This felt so horrible. I felt pathetic, but the strength in my body was fading quickly, I felt like I had caught something, like the flu within five seconds.

"I love you." I heard the words, and my mind comprehended it before I began to see spots. Spots of light that began to fade into gray.

"I know."

The next thing I remember, here I am, lying on my bed. There was a heat blanket over like, I don't know five other ones, or was it under…I shook me head slightly trying to shake the sleep and drowsiness off only to cringe and reach a hand to hold my aching brain.

"Ow."

I felt like a complete moron right now…oh god. I let out a moan of embarrassment. I ruined the evening. I had the most intimate, love-sharing moment with my brother…with my boyfriend, and then I went and threw up. I wouldn't doubt it if Kevin thought I had second thoughts about what we did. About losing our purity to one another…Oh god, what if he hated me for leaving like that.

I sat up from the bed and swung my legs out of bed only to tumble to the floor with the massive mound of blankets. Well if my legs weren't so tangled in fabrics I could probably have gotten out of bed without tripping. Then again…

"Sweetie, are you alright?"

"Yeah…sorry I didn't realize how many blankets were on me." I pushed myself from the floor, shaking the blankets off and then reached down and tossed them on the bed, unplugging the heat blanket from the outlet next to my bed.

"Hey mom?"

No answer. I left my room and peered down the hall. No one. Hmm. I scratched my head as I left the hallway and went back into my room. I guess no one freaked out too much. Thank god, I really didn't want the attention drawn to me at the moment. But perhaps I should call the doctor, go for a check-up. I mean without anyone else…couldn't hurt right? I mean I'm 18; I can go if I want too!

The realization that I was 18 really wasn't settling in fast, not like I keep thinking it was going to. Every time something new comes up, something more independent falls into place, I realize I'm growing up. Sure I'm still a teenager, but I'm legal. I'm a legal adult. I can go buy cigarettes or a lottery ticket, or even go to my own doctor without parent permission.

I sat on the side of my bed and reached for my cell phone and dialed Dr. Murtz.

"Hello, Dr. Murtz's office. How may I help you?"

"Uh, yes. I'd like to make an appointment."

"Yes, name?"

"Nicholas Jonas."

"One second Mr. Jonas." And there was that familiar pause I usually heard when I waited for someone to go and do something. There, you sit and wait…and wait.

"There is an appointment next Tuesday at 10:15 am, would you like it sir?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Alright, Nicholas Jonas, Tuesday. All set Mr. Jonas, have a nice day."

"Thanks."

I hung the phone up. Okay, so that's like what, oh never mind. I don't feel like counting.

"Okay, so doctor…next Tuesday…" I stood up and threw some clothes on before leaving my room and trotting down the stairs, where Joe was sitting at the counter with a pear.

"Hey Joe."

"Hey…Kid…you feeling okay?" I could hear the apparent worry and hesitation in Joe's voice.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Um…because I found you passed out cold in Kevin's arms the other night."

"Wait…what?" How long was I out?

"You don't remember?" Joe lowered the pair to a napkin on the counter and furrowed his brow. I shook my head; I didn't know what was going on.

"You've been out for like 48 hours kid."

"Two whole days?" No…oh god, what happened to me?

"Yeah, mom said you had a fever, so asked dad, he said you probably had either food poisoning or a cold." Joe walked around the counter and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you positive you are feeling alright, because I don't want to see you passed out again, and you weren't even drunk."

"That's because you're the one who drinks." I smirked. "I'm fine Joe."

He nodded and returned to the other side of the counter, and his beloved pair. I only chuckled and looked into the living room where Frankie was playing video games.

"Hey Joe, where's Kevin?"

"I dunno, he's been out." He shrugged.

"He's with some girl names Anne."

I turned my attention to Frankie on the couch, walking in and leaning over the couch.

"Anne?"

He nodded. "I think it's his girlfriend."

"NO, he doesn't have one!" I frowned but quickly covered it up as Joe walked in with empty hands finally and shot me a strange look. "I mean…Anne's not his type anyway…"

"You sure your okay, Nick-o?" Joe asked one more time, hesitating his words because he was taken aback by Nick snapping at Frankie, who didn't seemed phased.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I nodded. Shit…what if I pushed Kevin away, what if I hurt him. Did I throw up on him? Did I say something offensive or do something offensive? Oh no…what if he felt disgusted by our actions. I moved through the door and left into the outside world. Maybe I just need to take a step back, I was rushing this too much. Oh god, only a day, not EVEN a day and we already broke our vow…but I wasn't lying, I couldn't lie, not about that. He would be the only one my ring would be given up for. He was the only one I wanted to share that experience with. And I did, and it felt perfect. But perhaps I may have not been fully correct in his feelings. Maybe he didn't want it…but he's the one who made the first move towards this relationship, as odd as this relationship is. I felt my pocket vibrating and I pulled out my phone. The screen lit up as I flipped it open. Casey. Well…maybe she could help. Talk.

"Hey Cas."

"Do you know you're horrible at answering your phone. I called you yesterday and no answer!"

"Sorry, I've been sick."

"You got a cold too?"

"Yeah." I lied. "Yeah, I got a cold, but it's gone now."

"Lucky, mine's been bugging my immune system for a few days!"

"Perhaps you gave it too me then, you were as my birthday party."

"Yeah, but you were like, hardly there at all."

"Yeah, yeah." I sighed as I walked the stretch of sidewalk down our street and gazed at the spackled pavement.

"Nick, what is wrong?"

"Nothing." Everything.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." NO! NONONONONO! I feel like screaming and crying and throwing something!

"Right…okay well I'll let you go."

"Do you know an Anne?"

"Anne who?"

"Someone who knows Kevin apparently."

"Oh, Annette!" Well she seemed perky today for being sick.

"I don't know."

"Yeah, I know her, why?"

"Oh, just…um, nothing."

"NICK!" I turned around to see Miley running out of her house towards me. "Um, Cas, I'll talk with you later, Montana is about to hit."

"Got, it. Later!"

I shut my phone as Miley Cyrus; my neighbor came running up to me.

"Hey Miley."

"Hey, what ya doing?"

I shrugged. I didn't really talk to Miley as often as I used to. Not anymore. She was turning 18 soon, and I probably would have seen her then. She and I used to do everything together, unfortunately when I decided I didn't like her judgmental attitude, I kinda stopped talking to her. Pity, she used to be such a nice person in my eyes. I used to have a crush on her, but it faded quickly.

"I'm just taking a walk…"

"Oh, well can I join you?"

Couldn't hurt.

"Yeah, yeah sure."

"Cool."

We walked for a long while in silence, and then we talked about a new song her dad wrote. Well, it wasn't the best of conversations, but it was enough to get my mind settled on something besides worry.