"Nick…" I took a deep breath. "I…you…I mean…"

"You're hesitating, why the hell are you hesitating?" The look in his eye was slightly panicked and I was worried that he was taking this the wrong way. "That's a bad sign…Kevin…"

"Nick, baby, breathe…"

"Breathe? Kevin, you said that you loved me! If you loved me then you wouldn't have had to hesitate! It's a simple question, yes or no! I love you and I'm always going to, now do you feel the same way or not?" Nick looked at me, still panicked and I sighed.

"Nicky, you're about to go into surgery, you're only asking me this because your afraid that one or both of us isn't going to make it out." I took a deep breath. "I do love you, so, so much, more than you could ever imagine, but…Nick, we can't get married." The look in his eyes when I told him this practically killed me. He looked so sad, so disappointed, so…heartbroken.

"W-why not?" He bit his bottom lip ever so slightly and I felt as though he was going to burst into tears at any moment…which, come to think of it, he probably was.
"We're brothers." I shook my head slightly. "We're both guys AND we share DNA…and blood, that's why I'm allowed to give you this kidney, this is why I'm one of two best matches for you. Don't cry baby, please…I want you to know right now that under practically any other circumstances I would say yes, I would whisk you away, marry you and make love to you for the rest of my life, but we're young, we're famous and we're related…I'm not sure that it will ever be possible for us to marry."

"B-but you would i-if you c-could?" He gulped and I could tell that his potential tears were getting closer and closer.

"Of course Nick." I smiled at him. "I love you now and I plan on loving you every single day for the rest of my life and longer." I longed to pull him into a kiss but the situation that we found ourselves in now didn't really allow for that.

"What if today is the rest of our lives?" Nick spoke what I knew he had been fearing and I couldn't deny that I hadn't thought about it a little bit myself.

"Nick, these things…they have fairly high success rates, we're going to be fine, ok? Just fine, both of us…and while recovery is going to be a long process, more for you than me, we'll be together, right?" I smiled at him. "But in all seriousness if something does happen to one or both of us…" I took a deep breath." At least we found love, at least we got to be together for whatever time and I just want you to know how much I love you, how much I care about you and I will fight as hard as I can to keep you."

"I know." Nick nodded and saw one glistening tear roll down his cheek. "You wouldn't be on that bed right now if you didn't love me, if you didn't care for me." Nick let out a shaky sob. "And I love you just as much as you love me, maybe more…and thank you for doing this, I need it and you know that, but still, it's a huge risk and as twisted as it sounds, I'm glad that it's you taking it because…well…I want to have a part of you with me always." That was enough to get me crying too.

"Nicky, we're going to be fine and you know that I would NEVER let anything happen to you, right? I will do anything in my power to keep you alive…all of us would, mom, dad, Joe, even little Frankie…you mean everything to us."

"You're the one who really counts when it comes down to the line, Kev, because you're the one who loves me as family and as more…so I'm just…I'm so lucky to have you and I want you to know that, alright?" Nick's brown eyes pierced my hazel ones and I nodded.

"This isn't the end Nicky, it's not even goodbye, it's just surgery, people go through it all of the time, we'll both be out on a few hours and we'll be doped up as hell, but it'll be worth it because you will be alive to see a lot more of me."

"I've seen all of you," Nick smiled, attempting a joke.

"You know what I meant you little pervert."

"Who's a pervert?" Joe came into the room, a weak smile on his face.

"Joe, what are you doing in here?" I asked. We had already said what was needed to our family, they were supposed to stay in the waiting area until we were finished.

"Did you guys really think that I would let two of my brothers go into life altering surgery without telling them how much I love them and wishing them luck?"

"Young man, you're not supposed to be in here…" a nurse came in and frowned at Joe.

"No…I suppose not." He smiled at us. "Good luck bros, I'll see you on the other side, alright? Nick, hang in there, I love you both." Joe nodded at us and I could see that, as brave as he was trying to be, he was just as scared as I was. He turned and left and I gulped, hoping that we'd all be able to be on stage with him again…no illness, injuries or problems.

"Alright you two, it's time for the anesthesia, are you ready?" I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to go under and potentially never see Nick again. Was I scared for my own life? Yeah, a little, but more than anything I was afraid that Nick wouldn't come out of this. As I drifted off all I could think of was Nick and how much I loved him.

AFTER THE SURGERY

When I woke up, it took me a bit to remember where I was, but once I heard the beeping of machines and things, I opened my eyes and saw the hospital room. There were balloons and cards from fans and such, the usual for after surgery. I looked around, expecting to see a second bed next to mine, but the only other person in the room was my father. "D-dad…where's Nick?" I spoke shakily, not sure if I really wanted to hear the answer.

"Son, he's in intensive care…he wasn't as lucky as you…"