Brotherly Love?
By wired2damoon
Chapter 19: Tantrums And Confessions…
A/N: Okay, I know I promised things for this chapter, but I actually changed it around a little, this was originally chapter 20, but I've made it 19 so hope you don't mind, actually you probably won't even notice! Ha! Enjoy! -wired2damoon- xx
"I don't care what anyone says, there's nothing better then Thai food and good company on a Friday night", smiled Seeley Booth as he and his partner Temperance Brennan settled themselves on the couch.
"I'd still love a plasma though…" he added as a soft after-thought.
"Then what would be the point of good company?" Brennan asked cheekily.
Booth looked sideways at her and laughed, "ah…touché!"
The room erupted in laughter at the last statement, Brennan shaking her head and tucking into her spring rolls.
Whilst she did, Booth sat back on his chair and admired her from a distance.
It was a rare moment of opportunity for him these days after everything that had happened.
She looked so…at peace as she leaned back, her leg fully supported on a futon.
Her eyes glimmered in the evening light that shone through the apartment. Her pale skin seemed to glisten and glow as it adjusted to the heat.
Booth's heart leapt as his attention was fully drawn to her lips.
Her tongue had sneaked out and wet her lower lip minutely, leaving a fresh, soft trail of moisture behind.
Just the mere sight of it was enough to make Booth go crazy.
Shaking his head vigorously he began to take bites of his own food when a notion suddenly struck him.
This amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman nearly died and it was all his fault…
"I'm sorry", he mumbled suddenly, startling both his partner and himself.
"For what?" Brennan asked utterly puzzled as she was aware that they had just had been sitting in utter silence for the last ten minutes.
"I nearly got you killed…" he whispered softly, his eyes adverted from her's.
Brennan frowned as she heard this, "Booth what-"
"-No!" he interrupted, "let me say this, I have to…"
Temperance nodded and watched as Booth sat forward on the armchair, leaning closer to her.
"Look Bones it's-it's my fault that you got shot. Harlan Kinney only kidnapped you to get to me, meaning it's my fault!" spat Booth, his voice deeply bitter as his mind scolded him for being repetitive.
Brennan began to shake her head in protest but Booth interrupted her.
"No, no, don't even try to argue Bones, you can't say it isn't my fault, because it is…I…I risked your life…" he trailed off, his head lowered.
Brennan's face moulded to pity as she murmured softly, "well really I risked my own life, I attacked him and his men and he shot me…so really, it wasn't your fault…"
Booth glared at her, she obviously didn't this.
"No Bones! That's not what I meant, I mean if it wasn't for me you never would have been in that situation in the first place! I put a mad man in the same room as you and got you shot!"
Brennan regarded him for a moment in silence, she seemed to be thinking over her response.
"Well…" she mumbled softly, "I guess we're even then…"
Booth stared at her in confusion, his mouth hanging slightly open.
"Bones what-"
"-Pam".
One little word and the partners were thrown into an awkward silence.
Brennan was now the one who gazed attentively at the ground, whilst Booth tried to catch her eye.
"Bones that's-"
"-That's what Booth? Not my fault? Of course it's my fault! That woman was unstable and found me a threat so tried to shoot me!" Brennan spat, realising this was the first time since it happened that they talked about it.
Booth leaned further forward on the chair and reached out, his hand enveloping her's.
Brennan stared at Booth's hand for a moment before continuing.
"It was my fault, I was the one who aggravated her, I was the one she was jealous of, the bullet was meant for me and you and your stupid duty made you take it for me!" she almost growled, glaring at his hand as if she wanted it to spontaneously catch fire.
"Bones it wasn't duty that made me take that bullet…" Booth murmured softly, squeezing her hand.
Brennan's voice caught in her throat as she waited for him to continue, but he didn't.
"Regardless as who's fault was when and how, I still am just thankful that you're okay Bones, I…I just don't know what I'd done if something happened to you…" he whispered, his hand reaching up and nudging her chin gently to get her to look at him.
Their gazes interlocked intensely.
"Yeah…I know the feeling…" Brennan replied before she could stop herself.
Booth's head twitched slightly at her words, "what do you-"
Brennan merely shook her head and hurriedly said, "it's nothing…nothing…"
Booth's hand tightened on her's and she let it, enjoying the feeling of his skin against her.
It seemed as if all the oxygen had left the room and they were all that were in it.
It was a nice, yet terrifying feeling, that Brennan, just wasn't ready to face.
It was at times like this when she wished she could just get up and walk away…
"Can you pass the rice please?" she asked, breaking their moment and slipping her hand out from underneath his craftily to point at the table.
Booth obviously realized what she was doing but didn't comment, handed her the rice and shifted back in his chair as if nothing had happened.
They really were getting better at playing their "just partners" roles.
After another hour of eating and playful bickering, Brennan found herself glancing at her watch.
"Don't you have Parker tomorrow Booth?" she asked, realizing how late it was getting.
Booth jumped and stared at his own watch.
"Yeah…" he muttered slowly, "but Bones you know I don't have to-"
"-Booth I'll be fine!" Brennan rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what was coming.
Booth was relentless however, "but Bones, Kinney is still out there I mean-"
"-Booth, go home. You need to collect Parker early in the morning and need your rest!"
The agent nodded slowly, a small smile forming on his handsome face.
Brennan frowned, she knew that look, he had an idea.
"Well…I could…always stay here tonight…." he mumbled softly, his gaze not fully meeting her's.
Brennan smirked, knowing well that she was not going to win this one, even if she was completely active, energetic and mobile, which at present she wasn't.
Rolling her eyes she sighed, "alright, alright, you can stay, I'll go make up the guest room…" she went to sit up.
Booth jumped off the chair as if he were scalded, "oh no you don't Bones! You don't move! I'll be perfectly fine doing it myself, there's no need for hospitality here, you're-"
"-Booth I have a damaged leg, I'm not dying…"
Booth inhaled deeply as she said that, and turned away from her, he did not wish her to see how effected he was by those words.
"I know, but I still don't want you to go to any trouble for me…I-I'll just sort myself out", he rambled, turning his back fully and walking down the hall to where he knew was the spare room.
Brennan's eyes narrowed as she watched him go, he was acting odd, odder than usual that was…
"Strange…" she mumbled to herself, before shaking her head vigorously.
After several minutes, her partner arrived back to find her reading a forensic journal.
"Is that what you read for fun Bones?" he asked jokingly.
Brennan looked up at him, "yes and no, I'd read anything substantial at this point, I've never been out of work this long…"
Booth smirked, typical Bones.
"Not even on special occasions?"
She shook her head.
"When you're sick?"
"I don't get sick."
"So you're super human?"
"There's no such thing."
"What about Wonder Woman?"
"She's a fictional character Booth."
"Like Andy Lister?"
"Exactly, I'm glad you're finally grasping that concept Booth…"
The agent shook his head and continued to stare at his partner, who still had her eyes planted firmly on her book.
"Not even when I died?" he asked softly.
A beat passed between them uneventfully.
Booth seemed to be holding his breath and Brennan's gaze on the book had become unfocused.
"No…" she whispered, "no I-I went into work the next day…"
Booth let out a surprise gasp. Angela had told him she threw herself into her work but he never would have thought…
"You never even took one day off to grieve for me?" he asked, grimacing as he heard the hurt in his tone.
Brennan didn't glance up as she replied in a mono-tone, "you weren't really dead Booth…"
"Yeah but you didn't know that!" he almost shouted.
Why was this bothering him so much?
"I-I had work to do…" she murmured, so softly that Booth had to lean forward to hear her.
"Work? Your partner just died and you went to work?" Booth asked confusedly, trying to make sense of it all.
Brennan merely nodded, she seemed to have lost the ability to speak.
Booth frowned, looking down at her, hoping for some reaction, but she merely kept reading.
"Bones…" he whispered, "Bones…"
She refused to look at him, her grip tightening until her knuckles turned deathly white.
"Temperance…look at me…"
It was like gravity was pulling her head because before she knew it, her sea-blue eyes had connected with his brown and she was unable to look away.
"Do you want to talk about it? We never did get the chance to…"
She bit her lip before whispering, "there's nothing to talk about…"
Booth closed his eyes for a moment, asking God for patience.
"Bones…you-you shot Pam Nunan…."
Brennan swallowed roughly, watching intently, utterly glued to her seat as her partner walked over and kneeled down in front of her, taking her hand in his.
"Y-Yes…" was all she could manage.
Booth's thumb rubbed over the back of her hand gently.
"I-I'm sorry you had to do that Bones…I-I never wanted that to happen to you."
Brennan nodded, "it's not your fault…"
This time it was Booth who bit his lip.
"I left you unprotected, I-I couldn't stop her, you-you had to protect yourself, I understand that…"
Brennan placed her other hand over his and replied almost inaudibly, "Booth, I didn't just shoot Pam because she aimed at me…I-I shot her b-because she-she shot you…"
Booth inhaled sharply as her words sank into his brain.
His partner remained silent as he sorted through his thoughts.
"I'm sorry Bones…" he remarked, for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.
Brennan frowned, "for what?"
"I-I really did think you knew I wasn't dead, if-if I had of known I would have…I just…I never meant to leave you…"
Temperance eyes began to glisten, flashbacks of those horrid two weeks of her life when she thought her partner was dead, she never wanted to feel like that again.
"I've been on my own before."
Booth's head snapped up, that's not exactly the reply he was expecting.
"Yeah I know but-" he could feel his anger burn in his chest, "God Bones! Didn't you even miss me?"
The anthropologist merely stared at him as he stood up suddenly and began pacing back and forth in front of her.
"Booth what-"
"-I mean first you don't want to come to my FUNERAL, then when Angela CONVINCES you to go you don't shed one TEAR. Then, when you see I'm alive, there's no hug, no welcome back Booth, oh no…you PUNCH ME IN THE JAW! And let me tell ya Bones, that was no soft punch either! Then, you blame me and get mad at me for not telling you, you barge into my bathroom when I'm NAKED in the bath tub and yell at me, telling me that taking a bullet for you ONLY GOES SO FAR, then, when I tell you it was really Sweets' fault you still BLAME me and now you're telling me that when you thought I was dead you DIDN'T EVEN MISS ME?" Seeley finished, stopping pacing abruptly and whirling around to face her.
Temperance began to shake with fury, and even with her injured leg, she dragged herself up off the sofa, grabbed her crutches and stood in front of him, glaring up furiously into his face.
"HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed. "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT? WE'VE BEEN PARTNERS FOR THREE YEARS BOOTH, THREE DAMN YEARS! AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! I MEAN FOR GOD'S SAKE, I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT YOU WERE DEAD! MY FAULT! I FELT SO DAMN GUILTY, CONVINCING MYSELF DAY AFTER DAY THAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT I DIDN'T MISS YOU? OH COURSE I MISSED YOU! EVERY DAY I WOULD WAKE UP AND FEEL LIKE MY WHOLE WORLD WAS CRUMBLING DOWN AROUND ME! EVERY DAY THE PAIN IN MY HEART WOULD SUFFOCATE ME, KNOWING THAT I HAD TO SPEND ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT YOU, THAT ONCE AGAIN I WAS ENTIRELY ALONE WITH NO-ONE THAT UNDERSTOOD ME! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THAT FEELS? TO FEEL SO ALONE AND HELPLESS THAT YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITH YOURSELF? WELL…DO YOU?"
Temperance shook from head to toe as her shoulders slumped, she leant all her weight on the crutches.
Seeley was gob-smacked, he really had no idea what to say.
"Bones I-"
"NO! YOU HAD ABSOULUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH! I WATCHED YOU DIE BOOTH, DIE… I WAS COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD WHEN YOUR WERE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL. I WAITED FOR FIFTHEEN HOURS WHILE YOU WERE IN SURGERY, WITHOUT SLEEPING, EATING OR EVEN GOING TO THE BATHROOM. I JUST SAT THERE, GOING OVER THE SHOOTING AGAIN AND AGAIN, TRYING TO THINK OF HOW IT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT! I TORTURED MYSELF ENDLESSLY, BLAMED MYSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED! AND THEN? THEN, I WAS APPROACHED BY THE SURGEON. I MAY NOT BE GOOD AT READING PEOPLE BUT I KNEW, I JUST KNEW BY HIS FACE - HE MUST HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A GOOD ACTOR! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID BOOTH? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU DIED? I WENT HOME, STRIPPED OUT OF MY CLOTHES, GOT INTO THE SHOWER AND SCRUBED UNTIL EVERY LAST OUNCE OF YOUR BLOOD WAS GONE FROM MY SYSTEM. THEN, I GOT SOME GAS AND BURNED MY CLOTHES, UNTIL THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT BUT ASH…" she paused for a moment, her angered glared burning into Booth.
"AND THEN DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I SCREAMED. YELLED. BROKE MY POSSESSIONS. AND CRIED. I CRIED BOOTH, FOR THAT ONE NIGHT, I SCREAMED AND YELLED AND CRIED AND THEN? I PUT MY HEART INTO A BOX…JUST LIKE I TOLD ZACK TO DO…AND COMPARTMENTALIZED…"
Suddenly, Temperance felt extremely light-headed and her knees buckled from under her.
Seeley leapt forward and caught her around the waist, sitting her gently back down on the couch.
Neither spoke for several minutes.
Brennan's breathing was all that could be heard, ragged and fast, her chest and shoulders heaving.
"Bones I-"
"And when all this was going on, you were hauled up in a safe house, all relaxed and care-free…" she croaked softly, leaning back against the couch and shutting her eyes.
Booth remained sitting, letting her words sink in.
"I wasn't care-free Bones, all I kept thinking about was you…if you were okay, how you were taking things," he whispered.
There was no response from his partner.
"I was so worried about you…I hated keeping you in the dark so when they told me about the list, the first name I wrote was yours. I-I couldn't bare to be away from you Bones…you meant too much to me-mean too much to me…" Booth paused as he realised what he was about to say, but somehow it just didn't matter, after everything that happened, he knew he had to tell her now.
"I…I care about you so much Temperance, I always have. And that two weeks away from you was like torture, I really couldn't stand it. It just made me realise how meaningful you have made my life and I know now that you'll always be the most important woman to me. I know I was the one who suggested the line and the professionalism but damn it Bones I gotta say this…I…I think…no…I know that I'm in love-"
Suddenly, Seeley broke off as he realised that Temperance head still hadn't moved from where it was lolled on the back of the sofa.
He leaned forward slightly as saw that his partner's eyes were closed tightly, her chest raising and falling softly.
She was asleep.
All that yelling must have tired her out… he thought, shaking his head.
He nearly said the most difficult thing in the world and his beautiful, smart, amazing partner wasn't even awake to hear it…perfect…
Sighing, he stood up from the couch and leaned down, cupping Brennan in his arms and lifting her up easily, carrying her as he did before.
Her head rolled onto his shoulder and she snuggled into his as he slowly he made his way to her bedroom.
He gently kicked open the door and stepped into the darkened room.
He stopped at the bed and balanced her gently so he could pull back the covers with one hand.
Gently, he lowered her onto the bed and pulled the covers over her.
He gazed down at her as she sighed gently and shifted back into her pillows.
A small smile crept onto his face as she slept.
She was so beautiful, graceful, peaceful…
He loved seeing her like this…
After a moment, he sighed, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead, his lips gracing her gently.
She mumbled something in her sleep and he had to suppress a laugh at her cuteness.
Carefully, he walked backwards towards the door and stood in the doorway for a moment, just checking on her, before stepping out and pulling the door slightly closed behind him.
Heaving a deep breath, he made his way back to the sitting room, cleaned up, and made his way to the guest room.
After he pulled off his jeans and shirt, he climbed into bed and settled down, resting on his back, his hands behind his head.
As he stared up at the ceiling, watching the moonlight dance across it, he couldn't help but think over what was said.
Bones missed him. Bones cried. She even had a small break-down.
And what did he do?
Well…he loved her…
A/N: And there ya go! I was going to keep continuing but I think it'll get too long and the next chapter has a lot in it so I cut it there. Coming up - shocking mail, embarrassing memories, more Booth&Brennan romance and PARKER!!