Cannabis--1968

AN: I lied! Though I'll still be going to Iowa, I HAD to write another chapter! Hee.

A BIG thanks to all that reviewed! This chapter is dedicated to you; (you know who you are!) And must I say, this was extremely hard to write! It's the angst…

Nope. I don't own anything.

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After L had kissed me, we began to avoid each other's company like the plague. L had begun to stay with Jerry, only coming home whenever he was sure I had gone to sleep.

I mostly stayed in my bedroom; my notes on the counterculture life-style had fallen at a stand-still, the pages in my note books becoming subjects to horrendous doodling. I constantly obsessed over the slight brushing (because that was all it really was) of L's lips and my own.

I placed my finger-tips to my lips, a soft glow of red spreading over my cheeks. So much softer than I had expected.

Whenever we did cross paths in the apartment, my gaze would lock with L's, an awkward silence would follow.

Is he ashamed I thought, shuffling back into my room. I knew the answer was no; L wouldn't have been ashamed for what he had done. Maybe he thinks that you're disgusted? The rational side of my mind asked.

I stretched out over the springy mattress, placing my arms behind my head. A loud yawn tore out of my mouth. I was thinking too much about this. What did I think about L?

Cute was the word I had associated with L before, that I had admitted; But what did I really think about the elusive hippie?

I thought that he was an…interesting person to converse with. We had debated over many topics during my stay. He was passionate about certain things, lenient about others. I find him attractive. The thought startled me slightly.

How could a man find another man attractive!? Homosexuality was considered insane, and I knew that I wasn't mentally unstable.

…Right?

I sat up quickly on the mattress, my hands on either side of my lap. A loud groan bubbled up out of my throat. What did I feel?!

How could I be attracted to L? My mind screamed, He isn't all that handsome!

I stood from my bed, pacing and running at hand through my auburn colored hair. My mind raced, and the only conclusion I really could come up with was: the panic I had felt for L's well being was that I didn't want him to get hurt. Therefore, I cared somewhat for him.

I approached the door and almost tore it open. I was confused and seething. L sat on the couch, his back to my door. It was obvious that he had heard me pull open the door, his usually lax shoulders were tense.

I strode over to him and turned him to face me. His eyes became abnormally wide as my lips crashed upon his own. I had to sort this through! I had to assure myself that I didn't care for him!

I didn't hide the growl of confused anger that bubbled up from my throat. L began to shyly kiss me back, which caused me to loose my footing on the green carpet and fall on top of him. I ignored the shiver that ran down my spine and swept my tongue across his bottom lip, probing the muscle through the pale pink skin.

Then it dawned on me. I wasn't doing this to assure myself that I felt nothing; I was doing this because I wanted to.

Our tongues swept across each other, causing me to shiver and position myself on top of L's waist.

L was the one to pull back; a trail of saliva ran form his bottom lip to my mouth. A dark red blush stained his otherwise pigment-less cheeks. "Maybe we should stop."

I swallowed some saliva, and licked my lips. Mm…strawberries. "Don't you want this?" I asked, my eyes meeting his.

A frown came to L's lips, and he turned his eyes away from mine. "It's not that I don't…want it." His voice had dropped to a mumble, and his eyes met my own again. "Who do you work for, Light? What news paper, or news station?"

The question floored me. I felt my insides constrict with surprise. "H-how do you know that?" No one was supposed to know that they had a silent creeper amongst them. That, I had decided on the bus ride, Would just anger and outrage the people. It seemed that I was right.

L raised an eyebrow, telling me that he had found my notes. "You had no right--" I whispered.

"You were taking notes on people like we were animals." L pushed me off of his lap, standing up and looking ready to yell. It reminded me of when he would watch news stories on Vietnam. "I had every right."

I stared up at L from the floor, my eyes wide. Anger began to brew in the pit of my stomach. "You don't understand, L!" I shouted.

L had turned away from me, and had walked to the apartment door. He had opened it, and was prepared to leave, but had turned to me instead. Black eyes swam with anger and hurt. "Oh I understand perfectly, Light." His pale fingers gripped the brass door knob, "And by all means, keep sucking the government's dick." He left, the door slamming shut with and echoing bang.

That night, I had cried for the first time in years.

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The angst, it's crushing me! Gah, L is not a happy camper.

Why is he angry? What is Light's feelings for L? Why am I asking you this?!

Review!