Neville Longbottom was leaning against a tree looking out onto the Black Lake. It was the place he always came when distraught, which usually meant he was being tormented by the large population of Hogwarts students that thought he was a pillock.
Neville had thought that it would change in his fifth year, and for awhile in had. He had changed his hair and bought new clothes. He had started working out and lost some weight, reducing him so only the slightest pudginess. Neville had a new level of confidence, and it showed. The awkwardness he normally had evanesced, and the purgatory he normally suffered had stopped.
And now he had suffered the ultimate humiliation.
The sunset was beautiful, it lit the sky up in shades of pink and orange, but Neville was unable to enjoy it. He threw rocks into the lake, attempting to make them skip. He didn't seem to have any luck. I can't even throw rocks right, he thought to himself.
This lead to a wave of self-pity and then the inevitable fall back into memories. He didn't want to think about it, but of course that was exactly why he was fixating on it.
It had been his own fault for trusting Hermione. She had listened patiently, been a real friend to Neville (admittedly one of a very small group,) and then she had ruined him. It was as simple as that.
Early that morning was when it had happened. Neville had just gotten dressed and was heading down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room quietly, so as to not wake anyone. He heard voices and stopped to listen. It had been an old habit, a product of spending many lonely days just watching other people and eavesdropping on their conversations. It wasn't to be rude or spiteful; he was just a curious person. And he never told secrets, unlike some he knew.
"God it's a wonder you can put up with it…" Ron's absentminded voice said. He didn't really sound like he was paying much attention to whoever he was talking to.
"You know what it is!! He's always around. I can't take it anymore. Does anyone even like him anyway? He's such a fag." This time it was Hermione's voice, and Neville felt a sick lurch in his stomach. Who was she talking about? Her voice dropped to a tender whisper, he had to strain his neck to hear. "And you know who he likes?"
Ron perked up a little at this. Neville understood why he wasn't paying any attention now. Everyone knew he was in love with Hermione, who didn't have a clue. They were strictly friends, sadly without benefits. It tore Ron up inside. Neville thought he knew how it felt.
"Who?"
Neville quickly got closer to hear, moving as silently as possible. Hermione's voice came even quieter than before. "Draco. Malfoy."
Ron's response however, was not nearly as soft spoken. She had his full attention now. "WHAT??"
Neville now knew who they were talking about. He scurried back upstairs, heart in his stomach. How had he thought Hermione was his friend? How had she done this to him? She had always been so pleasant, so caring, that he hadn't realized. Hadn't realized she hated him.
Neville sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. Probably everyone hated him. And how many people had Hermione told…?
"Forget something?" Dean said. He was still in bed, after all it was a Saturday. He was laying on his stomach, face smashed into his pillow. Neville wondered if Dean hated him too.
"Yeah my sanity," he replied. Maybe he was overreacting? Maybe Hermione was just a bitch?
"Okay then, whatever floats your boat, mate. Have a good one." In a matter of seconds, Dean started snoring again.
"Not a hell of a lot is floating my boat right now, thanks." Neville said in a whisper. He didn't know why he had to whisper, Dean was fast asleep anyway.
It took about an hour. He could hear people talking all over. "Neville Longbottom?" "He likes Malfoy?!" "I always knew he was a queer." Soon everyone in Hogwarts had heard. Now Neville couldn't stand to face the humiliation. He had been hiding by the Black Lake for hours. He wondered if he could drop out of Hogwarts, perhaps go to a muggle school?
It wouldn't help. He was still a loser everywhere. Nothing could change that. Besides he couldn't stand the thought of never seeing Draco again, even though it would be undoubtedly painful to face him now that word was out. What would he say? What could he say? Neville had not only put himself in a crappy position, he had put Draco in one. It was unfair. He loved Draco with all his heart, ever since he saw his true colors.
Neville had used to hate Draco. Always laughing at him, calling him a blood traitor and several other unpleasant names. He had always interpreted him as a self-centered, happy to be evil type of person. Until one day Neville saw Draco cry.
It hadn't been at Hogwarts. It was the summer before they went into year four. Neville had been shopping in Diagon Alley for school stuff. He had gotten everything he needed and was just heading home when he heard an odd sort of sound coming from a dark alley. It sounded like… someone crying. He shifted to avoid the strain of the heavy book load, and peered into the alley. He saw no one. Neville slowly advanced, wondering if he should be going into a dark alley by himself. Suddenly he found himself wishing his Gran hadn't left him alone to do the shopping.
In the far corner he saw a figure sitting down, blonde hair covering their face. Neville had a surge of bravery he had never felt before and sat down next to the person.
"What's up?" he said.
The face that looked back at him was incredulous, and it said how dare you talk to me? But a second later the tears streamed down and there was nothing more than sadness on Draco Malfoy's visage. Neville felt awkward just sitting there. He sat for a moment, and was just going to get up and leave when Draco started to talk.
"Life is a piece of shit is what's up." Draco said. "I'm so fucking sick of my family you can't even imagine."
This jab stung Neville deep, but he bit his lip. He didn't have a family, except for his Gran. His parents were in St. Mungos, in no condition to speak to him, and it was all Bellatrix Lastrange-Draco's aunt's- fault. Neville was still shell-shocked from seeing him so vulnerable that he didn't know what to say.
Draco seemed to realize his mistake. "I didn't mean… I forgot about your parents. I'm sorry… It was a shitty thing to say." His tears had stopped but he was still breathing heavily. Neville found himself watching his chest heave up and down. "But I mean my family sucks. I feel like such an ass right now. Crying and all."
Neville could barely comprehend how nice Draco was being. He had never been anything but cruel to him in the past. It was absurd. It was actually the first time Neville considered the possibility he wasn't an ass. And his family… well he understood how it would suck to live with them. Lucius and Narcissa weren't known to be the kindest of people. Draco went on for almost an hour, about his life, and he listened sympathetically. It was actually kind of nice, having someone to talk to. They talked about all kinds of things from school pressures, to family, to anything else they could think of. Draco laughed when Neville admitted he was scared of professor Snape. It was like they had always been friends.
When Draco left it was almost a relief, knowing that strange time was over. He had said "If you ever tell anyone about this, I will find you. And kill you. Got it?"
And they never spoke of it again. In fact Draco ignored Neville from then on, which was an improvement. Once he thought he saw Draco staring at him from across the great hall, but he supposed it had been imagination. Or hope.
Now Draco would know, Neville thought throwing another rock. This one finally skipped a few times. The accomplishment was empty.
He was trapped in his own little world when a voice came from behind him. Neville would know that voice anywhere. "Hey."
Neville said nothing, didn't even look. He threw another rock. Of course this one wouldn't skip. For a moment it was silence, the most awkward kind. Then Draco sprawled on the ground a few feet away from him, lying down looking at the clouds. Neville wondered if he worried about getting a tan that way, he seemed to enjoy being ridiculously pale.
When he couldn't take the quiet anymore he said "What are you doing here?" Not without a hint of aggravation.
Draco shrugged and rested his hands on his stomach. Neville thought he looked perfect that way, his hair glistening in the sun as he lay nonchalantly like he had nothing to prove. You could tell he felt comfortable in a situation of power. He tried not to let his mind wander to… other things but it was difficult. The lust he felt was all but consuming. "Came to see if the rumors were true."
Neville felt a twinge of hope. He didn't believe it! Maybe his life wasn't over yet. But what if… what if Draco wanted it to be true? Now it was Neville's turn to shrug. Draco sat up carefully and moved closer. His gaze penetrated deep into Neville's soul. His eyes were such a deep blue, and they looked at him with unblinking concentration.
"It's true isn't it? You like me." A smile played across Draco's lips, making him is possible even more beautiful. Neville forgot himself and his situation. Draco licked his lips and crawled on hands and knees until he was alarmingly close. He leaned in excruciatingly slowly and gently pressed his lips against Neville's. His tongue slipped in and the kiss became deeper, more passionate. Then they were both rolling on the ground in an embrace that would not soon be forgotten.
Seconds seemed like minutes. Minutes seemed like hours. When Neville finally withdrew from the kiss he whispered "No I don't like you…"
Draco laughed and rested his head on Neville's shoulder. "I don't like you either. Not at all."
"I love you," Neville said seriously. Draco looked up at him, blue eyes wide open.
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this, but I'm not feeling really confident about it at all. If it really sucks, let me know. Don't hold back or feel the need to censor yourself. Also I think I'll put up the second part fairly soon if anyone is at all interested. Thanks for reading!
