I deeply apologize for the long wait for this update, but this chapter was an awfully evil little bastard. There weren't very many terribly important plot points in here...just a couple. It's irritating when you have to write something just to keep the story rolling, rather than to actually introduce some very important developments. Hopefully the next one will be better. All standard disclaimers apply, and I would like to give a tremendous thanks to my awesome beta and, of course, my reviewers. Where would I be without you:D Enjoy.

'Could I really be so stupid!' Shido slammed his fist into the pavement, his anger creating a dent. 'I should have ignored the bastard…I should have…I should have just let myself cool down…if I had just done that…I never…Ban wouldn't be…'

An image of Ban's face, as it used to be, came into his mind—the scowl, or the cocky smirk were both as compatible to Ban's face as a goofy smile was to Ginji's these days. As much as the aforementioned smirk had irked him in the past, Shido missed it—painfully. In its place was a look that reminded Shido of a long-abandoned kitten: miserable, weak, and helpless.

These aching reminders strengthened Shido's resolve to return to the place he once faintly called home. Though his legs shook with emotion, he stood and continued on his way once more. Ban's wearied face continued to plague his mind with every step.

'Why should he pay the price for my mistake?'

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Shido-san, is something bothering you?"

Shido had not been paying much attention to his surroundings after Akabane's none-too-innocent suggestion that day. He could not recall a single moment from that point on, except for the repetitive thought, 'Could that really be possible?' His obvious vagueness of presence had caused Madoka to worry, something Shido did not like. Shido felt the kindness she showed him on a daily basis was wholly undeserved, and he would berate himself endlessly for bothering her like that. Madoka deserved to be happy, not worried over him.

"No, Madoka, I'm alright," he assured her, lying through his teeth.

"Are you sure?" The young prodigy sat beside him in the shade of his usual tree, setting down the basket she'd brought with her. She would come to sit with him often, bringing lunch. Shido always told her not to go through so much trouble for him, but she would always laughingly tell him that she didn't mind—she said that it felt like going on a picnic every day.

"I'm just…thinking." His reply was soft and reluctant. He didn't want to dig too deeply into this.

"You seem very deep in thought, Shido-san. It seems like whatever you're thinking about is bothering you very much." She dug through her basket and offered a rice ball. Despite his lack of appetite, Shido took it.

"I'm puzzled by it…but it's nothing you have to worry about. You shouldn't worry yourself over me, anyway. I'll be fine."

Madoka frowned, but did not press the issue. "Well…alright." They spent the rest of the afternoon in silence.

When Madoka left, Shido had alreadybegun to berate himself. He had made her uncomfortable, and very likely just made her worry even more.

'You are brilliant, Fuyuki.'

The fretting sheepdog at his side interrupted his self-bashing. This one had always had a strange motherly attitude towards him, and as always, it was largely in effect. She nuzzled him gently, settling beside him and staring at him with doleful brown eyes, clearly pained by his troubles.

/Whatever's the matter, Shido-san/

Shido looked down at her, suddenly feeling much like he was back in Madoka's company. /Oh, come on now, not you too./

The dog rested her head on her large paws, still staring at him softly. /You know I can't help it. I worry about you./

/That's the problem. I make Madoka worry, too. I hate doing that…she lets me stay here, and keep all of you here…it's no way to repay her for that kindness./

/She probably worries more because you don't tell her anything, Shido-san. Dear Madoka-chan doesn't want to push you, but I'm sure she would like you to tell her what's wrong. It would ease her mind some, and likely yours./

Shido sighed, laying a hand on the dog's head and stroking gently. /It's not really something I feel comfortable talking about./

/Oh, dear. That is a problem. Whatever you're thinking about, it must be awfully stressful./

/To be honest, what I'm thinking about doesn't bother me as much as the fact that I'm thinking about it this much. I really shouldn't be taking it to heart…/

The dog, sensing that this was surely going somewhere, edged closer to him, laying a comforting paw on his knee. /Go on. Tell me what's going on./ she urged softly.

/I was just boiling over today…I know I'm pissed at that bastard and I certainly hate his guts, but that guy couldn't have been suggesting that…I couldn't actually do that…could I/

/Now you're not making any sense at all, Shido-san/ the dog said, almost in exasperation.

Shido looked down at her, frowning. /Look, I'm sorry…it's just too much to think about and I can't sort out all my thoughts. That's really all that's bothering me./

This was a lie, of course, and the dog knew that. But she could see that Shido wanted to sort out his thoughts before revealing them to anyone. She didn't see the harm in it, so she decided to let it go.

Shido did not sleep that night.

His thoughts were still considerably muddled in the morning, and he felt by this time that he had gotten crankier since his job yesterday. He had a feeling that contact of any kind, human or animal, would only irritate him further. For his own good, he left Madoka's place just to…take a walk. It always amazed him how the simple act of walking could relax a person so much, and clear their head. Shido soon felt his frustrations leaving him little by little. In fact, everything he had been thinking about slowly dissolved from his mind, as though they had never been there at all. All but one had disappeared when two very distinct voices caught Shido's attention.

"Oi, Ginji! Keep up, will you? We've got to catch the car!"

Shido's eyes found the two frantically trailing their car, which a tow truck was currently dragging away. Ban was running with all his speed and yelling at Ginji, who was lagging behind, trying to catch his breath.

"I'm…trying, Ban-chan, but I'm…tired!" the electric boy insisted.

"Suck it up, Ginji! We can't pay that fee again, so run faster!"

Shido clenched his fists and felt a growl rise in his throat. To hear that bastard order Ginji around made Shido's anger return. He gritted his teeth, trying to suppress the volcanic rage bubbling up inside him and at the same time wondering why he was doing so.

Stealthily, the remnants of Shido's maddening thoughts crept to the surface of his mind. They mirrored yesterday's frustration; the frustration Akabane had looked upon as an opportunity. The Jackal's sly voice slid into his thoughts, taking advantage of this opportunity once more.

"We mustn't forget…no creature is untamable."

'Even him? Even Ban Midou is…tamable?'

"Ginji! Damn it, hurry up!"

"Ban-chan, I'm trying! Stop running so fast!"

His clenched fists curled tighter. Shido's fingernails dug into his skin.

"No creature is untamable."

'Not even Ban Midou.'

Ban stopped as the tow truck pulled into the drive of the Traffic Department. "Aw, man! Now we have to pay the fee again!"

He suddenly froze. He felt a pair of eyes on him. A nasty chill ran down his spine.

'You're mine, Snake Bastard.'

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Shido resisted the very powerful urge to vomit. The words that had burrowed like a feral mole in his mind hit him like a wave. All sorts of extreme self-loathing manifested, cursing him for allowing those words to affect him as they had. His back stiffened and he nearly keeled over. Emotion swirled in his stomach until he could take it no more—he dashed straight to the nearest dumpster and lost his lunch. People around him stared, but did not stop.

He stood there, leaning against the dumpster and breathing hard. His heart pounded against his ribcage and he sank to his knees, emotionally exhausted almost to the point of breaking down.

'Why, damn it? Why didn't I just keep my temper? I hated him…so damn much…shit!' The dumpster made a hollow 'boom!' as Shido's fist connected with it.

He stayed there for a long while. When he finally stood, he staggered, much more uneasy and awkward than he had been before. His stomach still churned and he had to suppress his nausea if he wanted to continue.

'Ban, you'd better be holding up better than I am.'

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Ban wasn't aware of anything around him when he reentered the Honky Tonk. The bell rang for the third time that day, but Ban didn't even notice how gloomily it rung this time.

Ginji had rushed to his side without hesitation and guided him to a seat at the bar. He was frantically saying something…but all Ban could think about was Shido and his increasingly burning need to be near him again. But Shido had told him to let him go…and he had to listen.

"Damn it!"

Ginji stepped back and Natsumi let out a startled cry. Paul rushed in from the back, asking just what the hell was going on.

"He told me to let him go, and I did! I'm such a coward! Why did I let him go?"

"Just what are you talking about?" Paul asked, both puzzled and extremely irritated that he had gotten vague ramblings instead of the explanation he had asked for.

"Ban-chan, you're not making any sense," Ginji added, more softly, trying to coax some real information out of Ban.

Ban's words were incoherent for several minutes, as though he was trying to confess his every anxiety without worrying about sorting them out. He continued to babble while Ginji tried his best to make some sense out of the words. When Ban started to tremble, it was as though the things he was babbling about were finally sinking in. Shido had left.

"He said…he was going back to Mugenjyou. Said he belonged there…said if I…" he choked on his words, "if I wanted to…stop being dependent on him I should let him go…and I did…I watched him walk away from me and I didn't stop him…I just did what he said! That bastard…"

"Ban-chan…" Ginji was the only one who spoke. Paul and Natsumi just stared at him in stunned, piteous silence. Ginji placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Let me take you home. You should sleep and get your mind off Shido."

Ginji inwardly cringed at his own words, but he didn't know what else to do. He simply couldn't bring himself to blame Shido for everything. Shido was still his friend, despite what he had done to Ban, though Ginji had been hurt and disappointed by it. Besides, Ginji didn't want to risk hurting Ban, and openly condemning Shido would do just that. After all, Ban's fervent attachment to the Beast Master was as fierce as it was fragile.

"That's a good idea, Gin-chan," Natsumi agreed softly. For this, Ginji was grateful. "Please, Ban-san, go home and get some rest."

"'Don't want to sleep. I want to go after him," Ban protested, albeit dispassionately. Regardless of his words, he made no move to actually get up and do so. "I want to go after him," he repeated, as if trying to convince himself to move. But he still did not move. Ginji sighed.

"Ban-chan…even if you did go after him, I don't think he'dchange his mind about leaving. Once Shido's made up his mind, there's usually no changing it. That's just the way he is…" Ginji trailed off sadly. Ban stared down at the counter, an equal sadness creeping into his eyes.

"Ban, please listen to Ginji and go home," Paul said. "You're exhausted, and in no condition to be out looking for anyone anyway. Get some sleep now, and maybe you'll be able to clear your head in the morning."

Ban sighed and stood. "Alright, Ginji. I'll go home."

Ginji let out a relieved sigh. "Okay, Ban-chan. Let's go." He turned to Paul and Natsumi. "Thanks Paul, and Natsumi-chan."

Ban was already starting to nod off at the thought of 'home'. He and Ginji had managed to rent out an apartment a few months back, with the help of Hevn and Paul. The place had only one bathroom, and no phone, but they still called it home. That word was a soothing warmth to Ban's weary mind. Not long after he and Ginji got into the car, he was asleep.

Ginji glanced at him briefly, smiling fondly at his friend's sleeping form. He sighed sadly, leaning back against the driver's seat.

'Oh, Ban-chan…I wish you were your old self again.' He glanced at him again. 'Well…at least in sleep you're not hurting so much. Sleep well, Ban-chan.'

For now, Ban slept peacefully. Come morning he would be in pain again.

As for Shido, not even sleep was a refuge from his guilt-ridden memories.