Disclaimer: Wicked Belongs to Gregory Maguire

Disclaimer: Wicked Belongs to Gregory Maguire. The musical verse belongs to Stephen Schwartz and Universal, I believe. I am but a mere fan. I own nothing.

A/N: Well, my fellow Gelphians, chapter five is here. Could you be happier? Of course not. Because happy is what happens…yeah. I'll stop now.

As usual, thanks for reading and reviewing, you guys rock. Seriously.

Last but not least, this chapter was made readable by Wolfie. Thanks, Wolfie!

Chapter five:

"Lemons and melons and pears"

The bar was full when Galinda and Elphaba, followed closely by Fiyero, Boq and Avaric, entered. There were various groups of Shiz's students laughing and drinking, some couples, and some people Galinda didn't recognize. There were about six or seven tables, a small stage where Galinda had seen a local band play once or twice, and some boys were sitting at the bar by themselves, scanning the crowd in hopes of having a stroke of luck.

It was hot, crowded, and noisy; everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Galinda was elated: This was life- Shiz life.

She beamed at Elphaba. "Isn't this nice?" She grabbed Elphaba's arm and bounced a little.

"No," Elphaba curtly replied.

Galinda pouted, but then spotted the girls and decided she would reschedule her temper tantrum.

"You took your time, Miss Galinda," was Pfanne's way of greeting them when they reached the table.

"Yes!" added ShenShen, banging her empty glass loudly on the table. "We've been waiting for hours!" Galinda could have believed her, for she certainly sounded as if she had been drinking for hours.

"Oh, but they are already making up for it. Look," said Milla, motioning with her head to Avaric and Fiyero, who were dodging girls trying to make their way towards Galinda and Elphaba. "They brought boys."

Pfanne and ShenShen immediately forgot their previous displeasure with the pair and waved to the boys.

"Great, just great," muttered Elphaba, looking more and more miserable with each passing second.

Galinda thought that was rather rude of her: she should be having fun. Or at least, she could make an effort to pretend she was having fun, as all of Galinda's former crushes had done whenever Galinda talked.

"Hush you," Galinda whispered discretely to her before plastering a huge smile on her face and addressing her friends. "We did bring the boys. Aren't we incredibly thoughtful?"

"You are indeed," Avaric interjected as he dragged a chair to the table. "Wouldn't be a celebration whitout me, now, would it?"

"Elphaba, do you mind if I sit here?" Fiyero was setting a chair next to Elphaba's.

Elphaba closed her eyes tightly, mumbled something that sounded suspiciously similar to "Damn Galinda," and nodded her head slightly. Fiyero smiled widely and sat.

"Where's Boq?" inquired Galinda, noticing the absence of the Munchkin.

"I don't know." Avaric looked around the bar. After a few seconds, Boq emerged from the crowd. "Oh, there he is! Boq, old fella, where were you?"

"You slammed the door in my face," answered Boq. Now that Galinda actually paid attention to him, she noticed he was trying to wipe some blood off his nose with the cuff of his sleeve.

"I did? Uhm…well, sorry about that." Avaric stood up. "So, what's everyone drinking?"

Everyone told Avaric what they wanted. Everyone, that is, but Elphaba.

"Hey, green stuff, what are you drinking?" He waved a hand in front of her face.

"Green stuff?"

"Hey, easy there. We're all friends here, aren't we?" Avaric held his hands in the air and backed away from Elphaba slowly, as if dealing with a wild lion. Or Lion.

"Friends," Elphaba said. She fell on her chair with an audible thump. "Of course! How dense of me. Friends." Elphaba laughed loudly.

Galinda found it frightening. Elphaba looked, well, she looked deranged.

"Yes. So, um…about that drink?" Avaric asked cautiously.

"Quadling beer," Elphaba answered.

"Wow," gasped ShenShen.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Fiyero concernedly inquired.

"If you have a death wish, there are better ways to go, Miss Elphaba," Boq added quietly.

Elphaba frowned. She turned to look at Galinda.

"What's wrong with Quadling beer?" she asked, genuinely confused.

She looks so cute Galinda thought. So, so cute.

She realized Elphaba was actually expecting her to say something, so she did her best to focus. What were they talking about, again?

"Nothing wrong, per se," she elaborated, after having somewhat regained her focus. "But in Gillikin, we use it to sedate cows."

"Oh." Elphaba looked down, appearing to be deep in thought before saying, "I still want it."

"One Quadling Beer for you, coming right away," Avaricsaid, looking extremely impressed. He disappeared towards the bar. Fiyero was still regarding Elphaba worriedly, and Boq…well, Boq was doing what he did best: He was staring at Galinda with unabashed adoration.

ShenShen, Milla and Pfanne looked rather put out by the fact nobody was paying attention to them.

The evening progressed nicely. Avaric flirted with ShenShen, Boq told Galinda she was beautiful and wonderful at least seven times, they all –incredibly, 'all' included Elphaba- drank obscene amounts of beer.

At some point during the third – or fourth, Galinda wasn't sure- round of drinks, Galinda noticed Fiyero trying to engage Elphaba in conversation, and Elphaba trying to steer her chair as far away from him as she could manage.

Galinda, for her part, was having serious difficulties with herself. Her focus had slipped completely from her grasp, and she didn't seem to be able to regain it.

Elphaba, looking cute and confused. Elphaba inviting Galinda to dance with her. Elphaba putting her hands on Galinda's hip and pressing their bodies together. Elphaba whispering something in her ear as they danced. Elphaba kissing her. Elphaba-

Galinda almost groaned out loud. She was going to have to ask for something stronger than beer to drink.

I'm surrounded by idiots, thought Elphaba as she watched the train wreck that was this celebration take place before her eyes.

Avaric, who had gotten incredibly drunk, was trying to seduce ShenShen by telling dirty jokes. The only thing Avaric had managed so far, though, was to get ShenShen redder and angrier with each joke he told.

"- they both make women cry!" Avaric laughed raucously. Elphaba noted that no one else seemed to find his joke funny.

"That's disgus'in, Master Avaric," said Galinda, trying to give Avaric a stern gaze. Sadly, with Galinda's own state of inebriation, it didn't really work out.

Avaric simply shrugged and took a long drink of his beer.

"Galinda is right. Your joke was inshultin'!" Pfanne tried to poke Avaric in the shoulder, but she used the wrong hand, and her drink spilled all over the table.

"Miss Galinda, I can tell you a joke if you want. I know some really good ones!" Boq smiled eagerly to Galinda, who just rolled her eyes. Before she could say anything to rebuke him, however, everyone in the table started talking at the same time.

"She doshen't!" cried Milla.

"Would you jus' quit it? It's drivin' ev'ryone insane!" said Pfanne.

"Mate, give ittup. It's sad, honest." Avaric patted the top of Boq's head.

"It really is," Fiyero quipped.

Idiots.

Unnamed God, Elphaba silently prayed for the first time in her life. I know I've never actually believed in you, but if you save me from this torture, I swear I will devote my remaining years to religious study. I'll even join my father in his ministerial missions. Which wouldn't be easy, considering he hates me.

While Boq quietly sobbed, Galinda turned to Elphaba.

"Having fun, Elphaba?" she asked. Elphaba thought Galinda seemed five minutes away from falling asleep on the table.

Elphaba was about to answer with something along the lines of, "No, you blonde imbecile, I am not. Can't you see I'm suffering unmentionable torments here?" but then, Galinda took Elphaba's hand under the table and smiled sleepily. The words stuck in Elphaba's throat.

This night had been entirely too much for her. Avaric, trying to joke with her and buying her beer. Boq, shyly asking if she knew which flowers were Galinda's favorites. ShenShen actually laughing – albeit after a few beers too many – at something she said.

Well, at least Pfanne was still looking at Elphaba with badly covered disgust.

Elphaba thought that finding Pfanne's disgust towards her comforting was a sure sign that she had finally lost her mind.

The absolute worst part of the night, however, had been Galinda and Fiyero. They had most definitely lost their minds.

Fiyero had been unnervingly strange the whole night. He had always been a charmer and a talker, but tonight he had seemed, well… desperate for Elphaba to talk to him. Throughout the night, he had tried every topic possible to try and engage Elphaba in conversation:

"So, Doctor Dillamond is a good teacher, don't you think?"

"Yes."

"That mathematics exam was really challenging. How do you think you fared?"

"Well enough."

"You and Galinda seem to be getting along nicely."

"We do."

"Do you like dogs or cats? I had a puppy when I was a kid. His name was Rudo."

"I like Animals."

Finally, after a few more seemingly desperate, and definitely very drunk attempts, ("The weatherrr's rather cold this time of the year here in Sshiz, iddinit?") he had given up, turned around and muttered miserably, "You like me, you pretty blonde, you. You do, don't you? Why, yes, I am a Prince," to his beer.

Elphaba had been truly baffled. Had Fiyero misplaced his brain? What in the bloody name of Oz was happening to the people at Shiz?

Of course, she who could never be outshined, had been even worse. Luckily for Elphaba, Galinda hadn't attempted to drag her into conversations about childhood pets, of all things. Galinda had been contented with occasionally whispering crazy-talk in Elphaba's ear.

"I think your hair looks beautiful down: It so glossy and black and nice."

"I think ShenShen has stupid teeth."

"I think you would look nice in a purple hat. I will buy you a new hat."

"Would you come shopping with me if it was to buy your purple hat?"

It only got worse as the evening wore on and as Galinda drank more and more fruity colorful drinks. On top of the mad delusions of shopping for hats, she got incredibly, well, touchy.

She would hold Elphaba's hand. Elphaba would give Galinda's hand a light squeeze and then let go. Galinda would put her hand on Elphaba's knee. Elphaba would take Galinda's hand and put it on her own knee.

Elphaba decided that wherever Fiyero's brain was, it probably was in the company of Galinda's, having a grand time. Elphaba chuckled softly at the image that suddenly sprung to life in her mind: two brains sitting side by side, enjoying a romantic picnic in the candlelight.

Elphaba's fantasy was cut short when she felt Galinda tug at the sleeve of her dress.

"I'm sleepy Elphie-eaba," Galinda yawned. "Can we go home?"

Galinda put her hand on Elphaba's thighs, and when Boq noticed and frowned, Elphaba flushed a very dark green.

She was never, ever, letting Galinda drink again.

Elphaba was definitely never letting Galinda drink again. Actually, she was considering if she should even let Galinda live to see another day.

"Galinda, if you don't help me at least a little, we are never going to reach the room."

Galinda mumbled something unintelligible against Elphaba's chest. Elphaba tried to pry herself away from Galinda's body so she could understand what Galinda was saying, but the blonde had her arms around Elphaba's waist and was clinging to her for dear life.

For a girl so tiny and who looked so fragile, Galinda was surprisingly strong.

I wouldn't mind the clinging if she would actually help me out a little and freaking walk! Wait. No. I would still mind the clinging. I would. I- Oh, Oz.

"Galinda, my sweet," Elphaba whispered in Galinda's ear while gently stroking her hair. "I need you to walk. We are just a few minutes away from our room. Please walk for me a little? I promise you'll be in your bed in no time."

Galinda looked up without letting go of Elphaba; her eyes were glassy and disoriented.

"You too?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll be in my bed too. Now, walk."

"That's not what I meant!" Galinda replied angrily.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What did you mean, my sweet?" Elphaba's confusion about this whole night wasn't getting any better at all.

She was getting so tired of being confused all the time.

"Never mind, 's not important," Galinda announced, letting go of Elphaba's waist with an affronted air. She promptly stumbled and fell on her butt.

Elphaba cackled. Galinda shot her an angry look.

Elphaba shook her head and, still laughing softly, knelt in front of Galinda.

"Did that hurt?" she asked. Galinda bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"Well, it's evident that you are in no state to walk," Elphaba said, turning around so that Galinda was facing her back.

"Hop on."

"Elphie! You're givin' me a piggyback ride?" Galinda actually clapped. Elphaba marveled at how child-like Galinda could be. It was incredibly amusing.

Actually, if she was to be completely honest with herself, it was rather adorable.

"Yes. Now, hop. I want to get to my bed sometime this week."

Galinda wasted no time and hopped on Elphaba's back with an exited "Yay!"

Elphaba discovered that carrying Galinda was more difficult than she had expected.

It wasn't because of Galinda's weight, even though she was a bit heavy for Elphaba. It was the fact that Galinda had fallen asleep, and her warmth, rhythmic breath was tickling Elphaba's neck, making it hard for Elphaba to think, never mind actually try to walk in a straight line.

The frightening thing, though, was that Elphaba didn't mind. In a way, she even liked it.

Elphaba wondered, not for the first time, what the hell Galinda was doing to her.