A few hours later, Taylor found herself curled up in her bed. The other girls had been sleeping for nearly an hour, but there was too much on her mind that kept her from drifting off into that same restful state. She was on her side, staring at the wall, watching as the shadows moved over the wooden planks from the moonlight shining through the window shades. As tired as she was, she could not manage to take her eyes off the moving contrast of light and dark.

Her watch sat on her desktop, next to her head, and she listened as the quiet ticking slowed and faded out. The shadows on the wall brought her back to the shadow of her own body as she opened the door to her garage. The smell of her father's car exhaust was so strong that it still seemed to burn her nostrils as she inhaled. The light that seeped over the cool concrete floor created a line for Taylor's eyes to follow. The car was parked in its usual position, only about a dozen feet from the doorway. She heard the engine running and the windows were down. She did not want to take another step closer to the death bed once she realized that the large garage door was still shut. Her mind and her feet were on two different levels, though, and she could not help but step closer towards the car…

An owl screeched outside her window, causing her to snap out of her memory. She peeked over her shoulder and noted that her roommates had not noticed the noise. Slowly, she turned her head back to face the wall and closed her eyes.

She found herself back in her house. The phone was in her hands and she heard a woman's voice on the other end of the line say, "I want to stay on the phone with you until they get there, okay? Miss?" But she did not want to pass the moments that seemed like hours with some stranger who was just doing her job on the phone. She clicked the off button as she slowly made her way up the stairs and dropped the phone on one of the bottom steps. She could not see straight as she walked into her room. She flipped on the light but nearly fell over when she instinctively shielded her eyes from the immediate brightness. The room was spinning and she was unable to stand still. She felt along the wall with her hand as she stepped towards her bathroom. She saw her reflection in the mirror and suddenly lost all control. Tears streamed down her face and she threw her hands up, not knowing what to do with herself.

She reached into one of the vanity drawers and pulled out her razor. She held it out so she could look at it, and then looked in the mirror again. She hated who she had become. She had no control, no one was left to take care of her; she did not feel anything but a deep, sickening pain and she did not know how to make it go away. Her sobbing reflection was all she needed to know what she needed to do. She heard a loud banging on the front door below her, but she did not move to answer it. Soon enough, she heard men burst through the door and headed straight for the garage. One man called out to her, but she stayed in her bathroom.

The next images were all blurred together to create one huge mess in her mind. The razor was still in her hand as a paramedic pushed the bathroom door open; he looked worried and called out to his team; blood and tears stained her skin and shirt; she could not move up off the floor; the paramedic stepped closer; she closed her eyes. When she awoke, she was in a hospital bed with Carolyn sitting in a chair by the window. Carolyn's face was tired, sad, and compassionate as she looked Taylor in the eyes…

Taylor suddenly felt light flood across her face and she wearily opened her eyes to find Juliette pulling back the shades on the windows. It was morning and she was safe in her bed at Horizon. No more dreams. No more demons. No more painful memories. The day was just beginning and she needed to get moving so they would not be late.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Later that same day, Taylor sat in the midst of the other Cliffhangers once again waiting for group to start. Everyone was talking quietly with one another, unconsciously keeping their individual discussions light, knowing Peter and Sophie would most likely make them divulge into a deeper area once the session started. Taylor slowly lost track of what she had been talking about with Scott and Shelby, and she drifted off to the moments that changed her life.

She remembered sitting in the front seat of the car, talking with Allison as she drove them home from her sparring class. An old rock song played from the speakers and they smiled and joked about something that was probably dumb, though she was not quite sure what they had been talking about. Out of nowhere came the loud blaring of a horn, then screeching…Allison's dace suddenly looked terrified as she tried to swerve but the other car was too fast…together they spun out of control…neither had time to scream…music still played…lights flashing, blinking, blinding…

Scott nudged Taylor back to reality. "Yo," he whispered, as she turned to him; "we're starting. Get in the game, Tay."

She tried to concentrate on Sophie as she explained their exercise. "We're going to go around the circle," she said, "and I want everyone to tell us something that you've been keening a secret. And it can't be anything silly," she warned, "like I dropped you toothbrush in the toilet…" Most of the group chuckled but they were also starting to tense up a bit. "It needs to be something meaningful," she continued, "about who you are."

As usual, no one volunteered to share first, so Peter called on Juliette, who was seated to Taylor's left. "Juliette, would you mind starting? We'll go clockwise," he motioned around the circle.

Juliette started off admitting she did not know exactly what to say. She talked her way through various topics, trying to decide on what direction to go in. her words started to fade out as Taylor's gaze dropped to the floor. Before she realized it, she found herself back in her dark memory, back in the car with her sister. They had stopped moving now; the windshield was cracked, they both sit still in their seats: Taylor leaned against her window; Allison leaned forward over the steering wheel. It was quiet. The music had finally stopped. There was some commotion going on outside the car, but inside, all is at a halt. Taylor's gaze was locked on her sister, whose eyes slowly fluttered open and shut. All Taylor could think about was asking if her big sister was okay, but no words came; she wanted to move, but her body was so heavy and it seemed impossible.

She was brought back to reality once again by Scott's concerned nudge. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked in a whisper.

She nodded and offered a light smile. Daisy was talking by that time, something about a farm. They were about halfway around the circle. Taylor tried to think of a secret that she would be willing to share with the people sitting around her. Maybe she could say that she was not surprised when she found her father dead in the garage. Or maybe she could say that she liked it at Horizon, even though it may be hard for some to see.

As much as she tried to stop it, her mind cannot help but wander back to that car. Her dad was crouched down just outside Allison's door. He gently held the back of her head in his hand and whispered something quietly to her. As another paramedic slowly pulled Taylor out of her own damaged seat, she watched with cloudy vision as her dad's face tightened as a few tears slid down his cheeks. She had never seen a look like that on her father's face before.

"Taylor?" She shook her head, hoping the image of her father and sister would disappear. "Taylor? Tay?" She looked up and noticed Peter rise from his chair. He looked worried and she soon realized that all eyes were on her; they had obviously been waiting for a few long seconds for her to share something. "Are you okay?" Peter asked, taking a step toward her.

"Yeah," she lied, trying to cover up her daze as if she had been thinking of what to say. "Uh, a secret…" She bit her lower lip and weighed her options. "I guess my secret is that…I wasn't surprised when I found my dad after he'd killed himself in our garage," she said, trying to put forth a weak smile so they would think she was okay with everything.

Peter relaxed a bit and returned to his seat. Scott gave Taylor a sideways glance, knowing something was going on, but she disregarded it and stared forward. "Okay, that was good…interesting," Sophie said, folding her hands on her lap. "Now I want you to expand on that. Tell me a little more." She nodded at Juliette, signaling for her to start again.

"Well…" Juliette started out somewhat hesitant.

Taylor still felt Scott's stare upon her as she watched Juliette unpack her secret. She began to glance around the group, fearing that if she let her mind settle, she would drift away again. When her gaze came to Peter, she stopped breathing for a brief second. He had clearly caught wind that something was not right with her. She stared down at the floor in front of her and tried to occupy her mind until she had to speak again.

Once the meeting was finally over, Taylor was anxious to get back to her dorm so she could take a nap. She was in the process of cutting straight across the room when Juliette grabbed her arm. "Hey," she said. "Some of us are going for a walk by the lake. Wanna come?" She was hopeful, but the look on Taylor's face gave her the answer before any words came out of her mouth.

"I was actually going to go take a nap," she said, sorry to disappoint her friend. Juliette gave an understanding nod and walked away to catch up with some of the other Cliffhangers. Taylor looked around the room as she slowly started walking towards the door again, and she noticed that Scott was standing with Peter. They both simultaneously turned and spotted her on the other side of the room. She quickly turned away and exited the lodge, hoping to leave her demons behind as well as her concerned friends.