(I am back with my pokemon! Hiromi's gone to FAAAATT CAAAAAMPPP! Ha, loser! SUFFAH! P-A-I-N, MISTAH PAIN! WHEE!

Ahem.

I am hyper. So? I don't have a stable personality; anyone who knows me at all should be convinced of that already. Right, so, more randomness and stupidity. Ash dies. YAY! Don't own.)

We, The Team of Kiddo, have reached a conseus.

We are sending Hiromi to Fat Camp.

Well, he wouldn't stop bitching and complaining about his weight. He stole cigarettes Ari had, only to realize they were candy, making him thus fatter; he had gotten addicted to Slim-Fast and Red Bull, and while he had lost twenty pounds, his stomach was bloated.

He had tried prescription medication, but it was really M&M's Ari had painted pink, since she was not having her Rayquaza on Orlistat.

"I can't believe you're actually going through with this." Jetstream told his cousin. Hiromi shrugged. He sighed, muttered, 'no one understands the fatty', and flew out.

Ari sighed, saluted her Rayquaza, and shut the game off, snickering. "Thanks for LEAVING US HERE WITH HIM, YOU FAT BIT-" Mikhail would've said more, but Jay smacked him over the head. He grumbled, and sat down.

"Whipped." Adeshi the Salamence called. Mikhail roared angrily at him, but Hiromi yelled, "HEY! THIS IS MY GOING AWAY PARTY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Brutus snorted.

"Okay, let's sing THE FAT SONG!" Hiromi's eye twitched, and he flew angrily at the Luxray, but was interrupted by the beep of a bus horn. He raised his head.

"They're here! Bye, guys!" He flew off into the bus. The doors shut, sounding almost like the sound of a coroner's body drawer closing. Bad juju...

"Bye, Hiromi! Have fun at Happy Skinny Anorexic Bitches Fat Camp!" Chuchu waved, his golden fur and curly Rattata tail whisking around eagerly in the breeze.

Jet looked over Chuchu's shoulder at the flyer. "Chuchu... I thought you couldn't read?" Chuchu nodded. "I can't! Ari hasn't taught me yet!" Jetstream looked up, horrified, in the direction Hiromi had taken.

"So where the HELL did we just send him?"

Alas, Hiromi was off to Happy Skinny Anorexic Bitches Fat Camp, but it wasn't as wonderful as it sounded. No, it was even worse than that.

A Persian sitting next to Hiromi blew a cigarette smoke ring in his direction. "Hey. My name's, like, Gretchen. Who're you?" Hiromi purred.

"I'm Hiromi, and I'm FAT!" Gretchen swept an eye over the bus. "Yeah, you and everyone else here. So, like, do you make yourself throw up, or starve?" Hiromi blinked.

"No... I drank Red Bull, and ate my mom's Poffins. Those made me throw up. Does that count?" He asked.

She winced. "Eeeew, that is SO not cool. You have to, like, eat nothing but PAPER." Hiromi shuddered.

"Eeew, that's gross." She looked down at his stomach. "So is fat. Don't you, like, wanna be skinny?" Hiromi nodded, and struck a pose.

"Yes! FOR DOCTOR SEXY!" He said boomingly, growing bigger, if that was even possible for the huge Sky Dragon.Gretchen purred. "Good. We'll, like, make good friends." Hiromi cheered happily.

So they sat on the bus, and drove to a secluded camp somewhere near the Sendoff Springs. Ignoring the "BEWARE: GIRATINA" signs, the Happy Campers drove forward, in the bus that shouldn't have existed in Sinnoh, but NO ONE seemed to care.

Maybe it was the water.

Whatever it was, the campers were dispatched to their rooms quickly. Hiromi, Gretchen, a shiny Buneary named Anna, and a shiny Pachirisu named Joanne were in his cabin as well.

The Rayquaza sighed. "Am I the ONLY male here?" He asked. Gretchen shrugged. "Yes, they're all, like, in rehab for steroids." Hiromi raised an eyebrow.

"May I say I am the only one who finds it ironic that the females, even in poke-society, are expected to be thin, fragile, and weak, while the males are expected to be rough, tough, and strong; however, we all are born to fight?" Everyone stared at him.

"This is, like, supposed to be a humor fic, you know. God." Joanne muttered. Hiromi sighed. So much for ethics.

God.

Or, rather, Himself.

Hiromi laughed at that, as he fell asleep.

The next morning, a splash, and the sensation of cold water awoke him. "IT'S SO COLD!!!" Hiromi roared in pain. "Suck it up! Don't you wanna be skinny!?" A counselor who looked like she snorted crack to stay skinny roared at him. He shrunk back. "Yes..."

"THEN START SWIMMING LAPS!" She screamed at him. He shuddered, and nodded. The great dragon began to dogpaddle crazily.

-Meanwhile, back at the ranch...-

(Always wanted to say that...)

"So, should we go get him back?" Caetalus grumbled, angrily trying to get to the next stage on Resident Evil 4. The others looked up from their beds in the Hotel room they had outside Lake Valor.

"Nah..." So, we decided to leave him there for the time being. We were so sure mom would be pissed when she got back, but eh. One less eater of our dessert.

"DAMN IT, LEON! YOU DUMB FUCK, THE ZOMBIE IS THAT WAY!" Chuchu roared. He was kinda a backseat-driver type when it came to video games. The Nidoran in question that was controlling Leon screamed, "I KNOW!" And smacked Chuchu over the head.

"Geez. Maybe it's a good thing Hiromi left. Like we needed one more psycho." Adora spoke to the other young pokemon. Mikhail growled at his daughter, but when no one was looking, patted her over the head.

It was everyone hates Hiromi decade, so we supposed.

-Back at HSABFC-

Hiromi was TIRED. He had just run fifty laps, swam five miles in the freezing cold pool, and eaten nothing but paper and carrot sticks for THREE DAYS. Gretchen stared at the food. "God, they, like, should make these matchstick-thin, don't you think, Hiromi?" This cheered Hiromi up.

"Hey! Now I remember! My mom eats matchsticks!" Gretchen looked at him with interest. He cheered up more. When he usually announced this to people, they just usually inched away.

"Really? Does it, like, make her thin?" Hiromi thought, and shook his head. "Nah, she's a fatass. But she only ate them once, because Mikhail and Szeren took her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped, 'cause she couldn't breathe fire. Doesn't that suck?" Joanne and Anna stared at him.

Hiromi sighed, and continued to eat his carrot. Himself, these people were weird.

Two more days of this torture, and Hiromi was ready to kill himself. He missed his family. And there was a new episode of Criminal Minds on, AND HE HAD MISSED IT.

"Life isn't FAIR!" The Rayquaza flew away, and cried into his pillow. "Myself-damn, this is SO NOT FAIR!" He was caught up in his teenage angst...again.

"God. He's so, like, emotional. Someone needs his medication." Anna muttered, swallowing a few more pills.

-Once again, back at the ranch...-

"YOU SENT HIM WHERE?!" Jack winced. The Umbreon's rings gleamed lighter blue. "To... Fat camp. Hey, he asked to go!" His trainer stared at him. Then she sighed, and turned to the others.

"Look, I don't care. Just GET HIM BACK. I need the anorexic retard back for a Tournament. You don't understand; this is my chance to kick Ash's ASS. Slowly and painfully." She was enraptured in her dreams of killing the poor fool dead, when they heard an angry, staticky yell. Ari sighed.

"Dammit! ALRIGHT MA, I'M COMING! JESUS!" She roared. Turning back to her pokemon, she growled, "He better be back by the time I come back, or else I'm sacrificing you all to Vita, got it?" They all nodded. Satisfied, she disappeared.

"Goddamn! I was SO CLOSE!" Caetalus yelled, chucking the game controller at the screen. He curled up into a ball, sobbing hysterically. "Fuckin' zombies! DAMN YOU!! DAMN YOOOOUUU..." Everyone stared.

Nonchalantly, Mimi fluffed a white cloth in front of him. He passed out on the spot. Her adorable Skitty tail twitched evilly. "What'd you DO?" Ichigo asked. Mimi grinned, contorting her scar eerily.

"Ah, the joys of cholorform..." Picking Caetalus up, they set off for Sendoff Springs to save Hiromi. Unwillingly as it was, they were not getting sacrificed to some drunken Mew.

-Back at HSABFC-

Hiromi had been dragged out for some 'girl time' thusly ignoring the fact that he was a boy. Joanne and Anna were happily chattering to each other, binging on lo-fat Berry smoothies. Hiromi got a chocolate milkshake, since he was craving something remotely fat.

"I know! They're like, so hot!" The three girls were poring over a new issue of Pokemon; in this one, apparently, there was a centerfold...

Hiromi sighed, bored out of his mind. It figured he would be stuck with idiots. "What have I become?" He asked himself, lighting dimming for a dramatic effect. "I was the great Sky King! And now..." He sighed dramatically, making a thousand roses die.

"...I am surrounded... by idiots. Wherever I go, they shall follow." He swooned onto the table, making it sag and break. "But damn, do I miss those idiots."

Silence.

"Yes, well, we didn't miss you." Hiromi's feelers shot up. Caetalus, Brutus, Mikhail, and everyone else were standing in the center of the smoothie shop. "GUYS!" He cheered.

Everyone stared at the pokemon. "He's, like, cute." Gretchen said, indicating Cheshire. The Persian shuddered. His creamy white fur bristled. Snatching the pokeball out of Sage's claw, he gave them a riddle.

"What has six legs, transparent wings, and the name of an obscure 80's band that was technically a one-hit wonder, unless you are someone like Kiddo, in which case, Peter Murphy's name sends you into swoons?" He kinda got off subject. It's what he does.

Everyone stared at him. Sage rolled his eyes. "Bauhaus!" Cheshire muttered, "No one understands me," before throwing the Pokeball.

"Oh. It's, like, Giratina." Gretchen remarked. Bauhaus roared. Flexing his weeny-teeny transparent wings, he growled, "So you are the ones building Fat Camps in my Springs?" Everyone stared.

Joanne died first. Bauhaus happily munched ele-squirrel head for awhile, then turned to the Buneary. Cheshire grinned like his namesake. "KILL!" Everyone else turned to Hiromi. Mimi promptly fluffed the chloroform rag in front of Hiromi's face.

They left Bauhaus to wreak havoc. Jet and Karona the Diagla dragged Hiromi back to the Hotel. "Well, we brought him back." Mimi sighed.

"Great. Mom's in Snowpoint city." She said, reading the note on the counter. They all shrugged. Darkie and Rogue summoned a Dark Void, and dragged them all to Hell...

Ahem, I mean Snowpoint City. They're perfectly good at it, trust me. –shifty eyes-

Anyways, the still-unconscious Hiromi was dragged to Ari, who sighed, glared at Mimi, and recalled Hiromi.

"Nice. C'mon, fatass, we have a ten-year-old to kill." She dragged the others along with her.

Meanwhile, Bauhaus was still wreaking havoc on the cute and cuddly little anorexic pokemon.

So it goes.

Ari sucessfully killed Ash, who, just as she had suspected, was an eons-old evil vampire. (1) This, further pissing off the REAL Slim Shady—ahem, vampire-thing, had Hiromi kill him dead on the spot.

So it goes. But this time, no one cares.

Back in Snowpoint, Ari shut the game off, and disappeared to go plot world domination. Everyone looked at each other. "What are we gonna do?" Ari had left the TV on, and it was playing, "Let's open up a restaurant in... Santa Fe! Sunny Santa Fe would be nice!"

Everyone looked at each other. "Wanna open up a restaurant?" Loa asked. Mikhail shrugged. "Eh, sure, why the hell not."

But that, dear reader, is a story for the next chapter.

(One note. Wow. 1: HE IS!! An eternal ten-year-old! God! Why am I the only one who notices HE NEVER GETS ANY OLDER?!

Hiromi: Cartoon logic, dumbass.

-resolutely ignores him-)