Heels clicked on tile. Clothes rustled against sheets. A patient three beds down groaned and rolled over with a squeak of protesting mattress. Heart monitors beeped in a steady, soothing-annoying rhythm. Somewhere above the mountain there were birds singing.
Ferretti did not feel like singing. Instead, he gaped. Again.
'This is becoming far too regular an occurrence.' Ferretti thought.
The grey-haired Colonel glared up at him from his spot in the infirmary bed, right knee braced and elevated, waving the book in his hand under Ferretti's stunned and quavering chin. Making a frustrated sound, the injured man shoved the small booklet into his hands.
"Follow everything that says and nothing bad'll happen. And for crying out loud, Ferretti, stop looking at me like I've grown another head!"
"Yes sir." Finding no other way to follow that order than to look away, the Major turned. "Your team is safe in my hands, Colonel." Lou promised. As he walked out of the infirmary and towards the embarkation room, Lou took a moment to study the book more closely.
This was it, then. The thing that had plagued Lou in his dreams and was fast becoming Standard Issue for all SG teams. Geek Watcher's Guide.
It was smaller than Ferretti had thought it would be, but he observed that it was the perfect size to fit into any number of uniform pockets. Very practical on the Colonel's part, if Ferretti said so himself. Flipping it open, Lou's eye caught on the bold-face text three pages in.
The first and most important rule of Geek Watching is not letting your geeks know you're watching them.
For you thick types out there, that involves not letting the geeks see this book. So see that they don't. Because once one knows, they all know. And then this Guide wouldn't work. Which would make me mad, because I spent a lot of time in my office writing this thing. For those of you who don't know, my office is a place of total evil. Thus, I endured evil to get this Guide to you. Don't screw it up!
Ferretti pouted for a second at not being able to read the book right away. He then grinned and tucked it securely in a vest pocket. He'd get a chance later.
"Yo, Daniel!" Major Ferretti called to his friend as he entered the 'gate room. "How's it feel being free of the Colonel for a mission or two?"
"Well, I don't know, Lou." Daniel smirked. "I was ecstatic about it, but then I found out who his replacement was . . ."
"Har, har. Everybody geared up?"
"Good to go." Major Carter told him.
Stepping out the other side of the wormhole, Ferretti's fingers twitched towards his vest pocket. But no, he didn't want to be the one that blew the cover on the Geek Watcher's Guide. Besides ruining the whole thing, he'd get O'Neill Blacklisted.
Lou shuddered. He'd study it when the mission was over; he wasn't going to chance getting O'Neill Blacklisted again. It was an experience worse than death.